It’s practically inevitable. We mean, of course, the attempts at explanation met with blank stares, odd questions, and suspicious concern. Of course, the best argument for the Primal eating plan is the story and success of each person who makes it his/her own. (And always feel free to point any skeptics/otherwise interested parties our way to learn more! Everybody has to start somewhere on their road to health! We take all kinds.) Nonetheless, after the 54th time you’ve been told by another ill-informed conventional wisdom devotee that you’re on the brink of a heart attack, you might be looking for more creative comebacks.
As a loyal Worker Bee ever-skeptical of Conventional Wisdom, I’ve always been puzzled over the idea of fat free versions of fat and cream-based foods. Fat-free mayo, fat-free whipped cream (er, just what the hell are they whipping?), fat-free cheese – how are they wrought? What manner of culinary wizardry can make a delicious, creamy version of ranch dressing without all that artery-clogging fat? They must be doing something right, because they almost outnumber their full-fat counterparts on the shelves. And the people I see frequenting the aisles are always trim, slim, and full of vitality. Plus, what with the nationwide rates of diabetes, obesity, and heart disease plummeting to all-time lows just as the fat-free movement finally seems to be picking up steam, I think we can thank the good folks of Kraft, Best Foods, and Lean Cuisine for their commitment to public health.
And so I set out to peruse the aisles of the local supermarket for evidence of these shining beacons of health and chemical ingenuity. I hoped to discover the secrets so that I might recreate the delectable food products at home and avoid messing up my kitchen with “recipes” and “raw meat” and “food.”
Would you spend $55 for a bottle of glorified tap water? Me neither. Apparently, though, some people would. Priced at $55 per reusable (we’d hope so) frosted-glass Swarovski Crystal-encrusted bottle, Bling H2O is the latest in “designer water” (I know, I know, I thought it was a joke, too) – a small segment of the bottled water industry that saw enormous growth a year or two ago when credit was plentiful. I remembered hearing about it in 2006, back when it was mostly relegated to the celebrity set. Paris Hilton’s dog, for example, was said to sip exclusively on Bling H2O water (probably while munching on dry, grain-filled kibble, no doubt).
In the early days of Mark’s Daily Apple we used to have a little fun every now and again by covering ludicrous processed food monstrosities. There was the pizza cone, the deep fried potato on a stick, the deep fried macaroni and cheese ball, the Oreo pizza, and the chocolate chip pancakes and sausage on a stick to name just a few. To call these things “food” is almost an insult to all the natural, whole, real foods that nature has given us. “Junk food” is the go-to term for this garbage, but can’t we do better? How about “synthesnacks”? “Fake-o-food”? “Machine-o-meal”? “Foodraceuticals?” Meh. It needs some work. (Coin your own fake food term in the comment boards.)
Well, we were looking through the archives, feeling nostalgic, and this got us wondering what sort of new crackpot culinary creations are making the rounds on the net.
Here are some of the latest worth a good laugh (or a few tears…):
If you’ve been living the Primal lifestyle for a while, you know that there are tons of natural, healthy foods available. But, what if there was more out there? Primal-approved foods that you haven’t tried?
The following is a playful list of 10 off-the-beaten-path Primal foods – some you’ll want to try and some you’ll probably prefer to pass on:
Were you angered by traffic this morning or awakened abruptly? Have you been feeling blue with the onset of winter or charged by the vigor of the holiday season? Would you describe your mood lately as generally optimistic and happy? Or are you plagued by an enigmatic anxiety or erratic energy? Has depression been a problem for you? Do you find yourself easily annoyed or frustrated?
We were as surprised as anyone when we read the latest study following the seeming success of so-called “mood eating” and its physiological response. The research, a collaborative endeavor of the Institute of Nutrition and Physiological Function and the Center for Complementary Nutrition Therapy, followed 17 participants for 5 weeks. Dr. Stephen Quatschen, head of the study, says subjects experienced emotional release and corresponding physiological changes from particular foods. It seems Quatschen and his associates have identified varieties of foods that appear to temporarily counter or enhance several common emotional moods. Food characteristics such as texture, smell, shape and color strongly figured into subjects’ responses.
As a follow up to last week’s Primal Challenge, “Getting Back to Nature,” I thought I’d published a few emails I’ve received from a hardcore Primal Blueprint follower. Talk about getting Primal. This guy is trying it all.
Don’t worry. You don’t have to catch, gut and eat your own rabbits or gather your own raspberries to mimic the life of Grok, but it sure doesn’t hurt. Check out these extreme Primal anecdotes from a fellow MDA reader, and then hit me up with a comment with your own Primal stories.
Ah, we all know that feeling of a really good laugh, the kind that leaves you heaving, weepy and pleasantly revived, sighing with satisfaction. Your muscles relax, your face softens (or hurts depending how long you were in stitches), your mood lightens, and your body feels that gratifying high. (Perhaps you’re thinking to yourself now, “Geez, it’s been too long.”)
Dr. Madan Kataria, a family physician from India and founder of the laughter yoga movement, was researching the positive effects of laughter on health when he came up with the idea of formally incorporating laughter into a wellness routine. And we adults, apparently, need the reminder. While children laugh some 400 times a day, we grown-ups only get in about 15 chuckles on average. (Are we lame or what?)
Organic; low-carb; reduced sugar; preservative and chemical free; made from all natural ingredients; and now with special bacterial cultures designed to help you poop! Seriously, is there anything that “health” food can’t do (or fix, or correct, or modify, or prevent…)?
Uhh…yeah. Especially if it’s junk food masquerading as health food.
In recent years, food manufacturers have grown increasingly privy to the American public’s dietary whims. In the early 90s, they fell over themselves to cut the fat, replaced sugar with sugar alcohols to keep up with the low-carb dieters of the new millennium and are now plying us with promises of eco-chic or otherwise “green” food.
Turns out, we have a lot of wannabe detectives in our midst! Our last post on which old wives’ tales were in fact true got such a great response we figured we’d give you 10 more to add to your repertoire!