It’s hard to go anywhere in the nutritional blogosphere without happening across that ubiquitous Michael Pollan quote being bandied about: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” I like Pollan, and I mostly agree with said quote (though I’d add, at the very least, “and plenty of animals”). It made me think that perhaps the Primal community would be well served with a reservoir of instant quips. So on the heels of last week’s related post  (fantastic Grokkus , by the way) I threw these together. Use them to quickly explain the Primal stance to friends and family. Live by them and thrive.
Eat food. Only when hungry. Mostly plants and animals.
Our genes prefer us to be lean, fit, strong and happy. Let them have their way.
The world is your gym. Try to go every day. Guest passes are free.
Make your long, slow workouts longer and slower and your hard, fast workouts harder and faster.
The weird looks mean you’re doing something right.
Eat food a hunter-gatherer would recognize.
If it’s only been available to mankind for less than a hundred years, don’t eat it.
Living to eat doesn’t necessary preclude eating to live.
Eat when you’re hungry (or not) and drink when you’re thirsty.
You can lead Grok to water, but you can’t make him drink (unless he’s thirsty).
Results speak louder than words.
Eat things with a lifespan.
Facts are often no match for Conventional Wisdom, which is why they need our support more than ever.
What would Grok do?
Animal fat makes everything better.
Don’t underestimate the importance of sleep.
Lift heavy things. Not too often. Mostly compound movements.
Do pull-ups whenever possible. Any ledge, pole, or tree branch will do.
When your only tool is a sledgehammer, the whole world looks like a used tire.
Contrary to popular belief, the sun is not the enemy.
Life may not be fair, but it sure is fun. Adapt or get dropped.
Adaptation to the diet that’s killing us might happen eventually, but don’t be a guinea pig for natural selection. Thrive and prosper in this lifetime.
Diets are hard work, but eating the foods we’re adapted to eat is a true pleasure.
When looking at a study, always ask, “What kind of fats?”, “Were carbs taken into account?”, and “Who funded it?”
Only eat food that you could make yourself at home with minimal equipment. Butter can be churned and sausages can be ground, but can you make a Twinkie?
If you can’t pronounce the ingredient list, it’s not worth putting into your body.
Why subject oneself to watered down foot binding? Go barefoot.
Here are a few irreverent Worker Bee additions to round things out:
They say grains are healthy. Kind of like they used to say Crisco was healthy. And cocaine.
Go Primal. Because diets aren’t worth dying for.
You wouldn’t fly in a rocket built by a chef, so why would you eat food built by scientists?
You ever see a bunch of kids going nuts at a playground? It’s like that.
Some people claim the Primal Blueprint eating plan is elitist. They’re right.
I thought about trying Vegan, but cannibalism is outlawed.
Go Primal: It’s not a diet, it’s a frickin’ lifestyle.
When it comes to running, it’s not length that matters, but how hard it is.
What do you think? Got any more?