Primal Quotable Quips

It’s hard to go anywhere in the nutritional blogosphere without happening across that ubiquitous Michael Pollan quote being bandied about: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” I like Pollan, and I mostly agree with said quote (though I’d add, at the very least, “and plenty of animals”). It made me think that perhaps the Primal community would be well served with a reservoir of instant quips. So on the heels of last week’s related post (fantastic Grokkus, by the way) I threw these together. Use them to quickly explain the Primal stance to friends and family. Live by them and thrive.

Eat food. Only when hungry. Mostly plants and animals.

Our genes prefer us to be lean, fit, strong and happy. Let them have their way.

The world is your gym. Try to go every day. Guest passes are free.

Make your long, slow workouts longer and slower and your hard, fast workouts harder and faster.

The weird looks mean you’re doing something right.

Eat food a hunter-gatherer would recognize.

If it’s only been available to mankind for less than a hundred years, don’t eat it.

Living to eat doesn’t necessary preclude eating to live.

Eat when you’re hungry (or not) and drink when you’re thirsty.

You can lead Grok to water, but you can’t make him drink (unless he’s thirsty).

Results speak louder than words.

Eat things with a lifespan.

Facts are often no match for Conventional Wisdom, which is why they need our support more than ever.

What would Grok do?

Animal fat makes everything better.

Don’t underestimate the importance of sleep.

Lift heavy things. Not too often. Mostly compound movements.

Do pull-ups whenever possible. Any ledge, pole, or tree branch will do.

When your only tool is a sledgehammer, the whole world looks like a used tire.

Contrary to popular belief, the sun is not the enemy.

Life may not be fair, but it sure is fun. Adapt or get dropped.

Adaptation to the diet that’s killing us might happen eventually, but don’t be a guinea pig for natural selection. Thrive and prosper in this lifetime.

Diets are hard work, but eating the foods we’re adapted to eat is a true pleasure.

When looking at a study, always ask, “What kind of fats?”, “Were carbs taken into account?”, and “Who funded it?”

Only eat food that you could make yourself at home with minimal equipment. Butter can be churned and sausages can be ground, but can you make a Twinkie?

If you can’t pronounce the ingredient list, it’s not worth putting into your body.

Why subject oneself to watered down foot binding? Go barefoot.

Here are a few irreverent Worker Bee additions to round things out:

They say grains are healthy. Kind of like they used to say Crisco was healthy. And cocaine.

Go Primal. Because diets aren’t worth dying for.

You wouldn’t fly in a rocket built by a chef, so why would you eat food built by scientists?

You ever see a bunch of kids going nuts at a playground? It’s like that.

Some people claim the Primal Blueprint eating plan is elitist. They’re right.

I thought about trying Vegan, but cannibalism is outlawed.

Go Primal: It’s not a diet, it’s a frickin’ lifestyle.

When it comes to running, it’s not length that matters, but how hard it is.

What do you think? Got any more?

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About the Author

Mark Sisson is the founder of Mark’s Daily Apple, godfather to the Primal food and lifestyle movement, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Keto Reset Diet. His latest book is Keto for Life, where he discusses how he combines the keto diet with a Primal lifestyle for optimal health and longevity. Mark is the author of numerous other books as well, including The Primal Blueprint, which was credited with turbocharging the growth of the primal/paleo movement back in 2009. After spending three decades researching and educating folks on why food is the key component to achieving and maintaining optimal wellness, Mark launched Primal Kitchen, a real-food company that creates Primal/paleo, keto, and Whole30-friendly kitchen staples.

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269 thoughts on “Primal Quotable Quips”

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  1. Eat foods your ancestors might have eaten. Minus the grains. Play like your children. Only harder sometimes.

  2. Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny- start thinking Primal.

  3. You have teeth and a digestive system like a carnivore for a reason. Eat meat.

  4. Primal: tuning out conventional wisdom and tuning in to your body and your soul.

  5. Chase it, kill it, lift it, eat it, welcome to my primal life.

  6. Eat animals and not food that’s mascot is an animal (i.e. cereals.

  7. 1. If we were meant to be fat it wouldn’t hurt so much or look so bad.

    2. If man’s most primal instinct is to live then living primaly kind of says it all, doesn’t it?

  8. If you had to make your food from scratch, could you make anything you currently eat with out a PHD in chemistry?

  9. you can eat your non-fat soy latte, fat boy, I am jackin steel and grillin ribeyes. I’ll clean my clothes on this washboard.

  10. Live Primal: It’s like being a Stranger in a Strange Land, only better.

  11. the fattiest foods that I see walking around are the idiots eating lowfat foods.

  12. Free me from my shackles and just give me some animal meat! I want the blood running down my face!

  13. Turn up that Ted Nugent, I’ve got some deadifts to do and a rack of lamb to devour!

  14. “Live Primal: fit, healthy people are harder to kill and generally more useful”

  15. I don’t watch tv. I’d rather live than watch someone else do it.

  16. Whole wheat pasta? That’s like a mild hangover. A better version of crap.

  17. I hope my son looks up to his parents and thinks “I want to be like Grok when I grow up”.

  18. 1. Primal living – Evolutionary, my dear Watson.

    2. Go Primal – Darwin would.

    3. Primal living – Eye of the mammoth …Yum.

    4. Primal living – Evolution in motion.

    5. Primal living – Respect your ancestors.

    6. Primal living – Sex, bugs and rocks to roll!

    1. 2. Go Primal – Darwin would.

      It’s a nice idea, since he was a very intelligent man. But actually, I doubt he did. He was massively overweight and afflicted with a number of ailments. I think he blamed it all on a tropical disease he caught while voyaging on the Beagle. He tried all sorts of remedies – there’s a hip bath he used to use for sitz baths at Down House.

      1. Obesity inducing tropical diseases eh… Haha, who else but Darwin 😀

    2. All sprints and no play make Grok a dull boy.

      Grok was a cereal killer.

  19. “You wouldn’t fly in a rocket built by a chef, so why would you eat food built by scientists?” –This is by far my favorite 🙂

  20. Rx: eat; lift; move; play; sleep
    Frequency: daily
    Refills: unlimited
    Signed: Dr. Grok

  21. If God didn’t make it, don’t eat it.

    Run, walk, play, sleep its only natural.

  22. Where’s the fun in eating it if I can’t kill it with a spear first?

  23. Primal living, because 1 billion overweight people in the world CAN be wrong

  24. Being Primal: ‘cuz who doesn’t want to eat steak and sleep more often?

  25. 1) The fountain of youth most likely contains meat. Weird, but true story.
    2) Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel’s life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted. Because it’s Primal.
    3) The city is a jungle. Conquer it. Get Primal.

  26. If you couldn’t make it in a farm kitchen from plant and animal parts, it’s not food.

    This is my personal definition of where the “processed food” boundary is located and is only a slight restatement of one of the quips above.


  27. Primal. I’m lovin it.
    Do you speak Primal?
    Primal. Because every step of the way brings you closer to Paradise.

  28. 1. Find vital verity through primal prosperity.

    2. Take off your boots and get back to your roots.

    3. Live first; the rest will follow.

  29. I love sedentary, grain-eating people. They’re so much easier to hunt.

  30. Primal: We Love Animals Too

    Primals Have More Fun

    Primals Have Better Sex

    Primal: Because Vegans Died Out

    Eat Fat to Eat Fat

    Primal Body, Modern Mind

  31. Let your inner beast out…and don’t forget to grunt once in a while.

  32. The USDA Food Pyramid: the ultimate weapon of mass construction.

  33. If you want REAL meat, you must leave the cave, kill it, drag it home and eat it!

  34. Avoid 3rd world proteins (beans, wheat, etc) and eat REAL meat for a truly healthy body.

  35. Imagine life when Old McDonald had a farm and not a fast food chain.

  36. Be kind to your genes, eat living things.

    The Primal Lifestyle is true healthcare reform.

  37. Think of the best coffee high you’ve had – it’s like that, only all day long and no jitters!

  38. Slow and steady, rarely race;
    Eat food that once had roots or face;
    Move heavy things, sleep lots each night;
    The Primal LIFE, “It just feels RIGHT!”

  39. We’re not smarter than nature.

    We can’t create better, more suitable food.
    We can’t create better training programs.
    Nature shaped us, evolved us and we should trust it, not ignore it.

  40. Plastic wrappers and Disney characters are Nature’s way of saying “Do Not Eat”.

    Primal living: because Twinkies don’t grow on trees.

    Play all day. Sleep all night. Eat good food. Work out. It’s fun to be a caveman.

  41. The Flintstones would approve of what Mark Sisson is doing! Ya Ba Da Ba Doo! 🙂

  42. Longlife food is made to sit on shelves not to nourish.

    Why would you want sugar in your pate?

  43. Your life is not in the hands of doctors or pharmaceutical companies, your choices do matter!

  44. Things go better with Grok….true health reform since the beginning of time!

  45. To borrow the quote from Crossfit and others:

    Eat lean meats and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and no sugar.

  46. Why go Primal? Because it is simply the most modern technology available for achieving optimum Health & Fitness…

    …and it is fun…and it makes you look good and feel good…and your wife looks good and feels good too :-)…and it helps you know what REAL food is supposed to look like and taste like…and it makes your friends think you are crazy…but smart…and…most of all…it is dumb ass simple…any more questions?

  47. I don’t have anything pithy other than: just try it. Try it for the 21 days they say it takes to form a habit. If you’re not convinced after those 21 days, then it’s only 21 days out of your life (5% of a year!) that you couldn’t eat grains, potatoes and processed sugars. On the other hand, when you look at the world (and yourself) differently after only 21 days, that’s pretty awesome!

  48. Primal: a get well quick scheme

    Is this heaven? No, its the Primal Blueprint!

    Play, its what’s before dinner.

    1. “Is this heaven? No, its the Primal Blueprint!”
      To me – it’s a killer one

  49. If it didn’t walk, swim, fly, or grow from the ground, it’s not food.

  50. Go Primal: Release your inner Grok.

    Go Primal: Release the healthy Grok within.

  51. I used to think that the elliptical machine was a great machine to stay in shape. That was before I found that it was more effective to lift this heavy object a few times and then throw it off a cliff.

  52. Go Primal cause living in moderation is just living in mediocrity

  53. Lift heavy. Run fast. Eat. Sleep

    Meats, veggies, nuts, and seeds. It is that simple.

  54. Get healthy with “The Human Diet”, designed specifically for everyday human beings, just like you!

  55. Chuck Norris was looking for a nickname awesome enough to capture his awesome awesomeness. None was to his liking, until Mark came up with “Grok”.

  56. 1) Evolve yourself: Live like a caveman
    2) Does your lifestyle suit your genetic blueprint?
    3) Think like a scientist, eat like a hunter-gatherer, play like a child: 100% primal
    4) I’m a natural-born caveman
    5) It’s a primal thing (you wouldn’t understand)

  57. The only thing better than bacon.. is bacon 😀

    I know nothing burps better than bacon 😉

  58. If eating fat makes you fat, then eating brains will make me the smartest bastard ever!

    Calories make you fat… 8 Cokes (776 calories) is much better than 1 cup almonds (817 calories). Not to mention the murderous fat!

    “When looking at a study, always ask, “What kind of fats?”, “Were carbs taken into account?”, and “Who funded it?””
    I like that one, on a similar note, I use these on false veg-research:

    Was the meat commercially raised?
    What was the feed soy or corn?
    Was the milk pasteurized?

  59. “Natural selection? Be the fittest to survive, go Primal! Even Darwin would approve it.”

    1. Actually I would like to remove the last sentence and keep it as follows:

      “Natural Selection? Be the fittest to survive, go Primal!”

  60. To disagree with three-fourths of the conventional wisdom regarding diet and exercise is one of the first requisites of sanity.


  62. Real Women eat meat!

    Adopt a Primal lifestyle

    Ribeye is the new ricecake!

    The more animal fat I eat, the more fat melts off of me.

    Science has taken a terrible detour: stop following scientists and start following your primal instincts!

    1. “Ribeye is the new ricecake.”

      Love it! (and stealing it, er, adding it to my repetoire) 😉

  63. 1.) When it comes to food, Grok loved to use his organ meat.

    2.) [Insert MDA or PB] – Embrace simplicity

  64. Shoes are like wearing casts on your feet. Free them and run like a child, barefoot.

  65. If god didnt want me to eat meat he wouldn’t make it taste so good.

  66. Why eat junk from a lab when nature provides all the meat, veggies, and nuts anyone could want?

  67. Don’t explain why primal foods are better, take your shirt off.

  68. Just go barefoot.

    Sick? Go primal.

    Grok this way.

    Let people know everyday that you are going to Grok their world!

  69. My favorite that I heard from Mark:

    First, you make your habits. Then, your habits make you.

  70. FAST workouts will make you FASTer, intermitent FASTing will make you FASTER…

    … FAST food will make you SLOWER!

    *Fast isn’t always best*

  71. 1) Frankenfoods….. the perfect way to get a HORRORble body!

    2) Good for you food – so pure, a caveman would eat it.

  72. Eating Primal will give you a body like leonidas, a wit like House M.D, and an intestine so clean you could digest a baseball bat and keep comin back for more…

  73. know primal blueprint, know healthy living

    no primal blueprint, no healthy living

  74. Real cheese may come from happy cows, and happy cows may come from California…But forget the cheese, eat the happy cow!

  75. I have a great gym membership. It’s in my town, your town and there are even affiliate gyms when traveling. The name of this gym is Earth and we all own a lifetime membership.

  76. I don’t actually agree with this, but I can’t help passing along this memorable quote from Jack LaLanne:
    “If it tastes good, spit it out!”

  77. People say that eating well is too expensive, but spend money on cars, toys, vacations. The perspective needs to change – what is more important than good health, and what good are all of the “things” if you’re not healthy enough to use them?

    Being committed to put good food into your body is the most important investment you can make.

  78. [oops… commented on the other post accidentally…]

    Grokify & simplify!

  79. If God didn’t want us to eat animals he wouldn’t have made them out of meat.

  80. Walk the Grok. Talk the Grok.

    If Grok would, eat more!

    If it’s green, fat, and moving, eat more!

    Save your health, eat an animal!

    I’m a lean, mean, primal machine!

  81. 1. Eat primal, Help keep America looking good!

    2. How many bites does it take to get to the center of a ribeye?

    3. If we were meant to be vegan, why can’t we eat grass?

    4. Grubs, the original white meat!

    5. “If man made it, I don’t eat it” Jack Lalanne

  82. Don’t live life with the “It’s better than nothing” attitude. Strive to be far superior than “better than nothing”.

  83. high tech tomatoes,mysterious milk,super squash…are we supposed 2 eat this stuff…or is it going 2 eat us???

  84. Go Primal – 2,000 generations of ancestors can’t be wrong.

    Or how about

    My ancestors didn’t claw their way to the top of the food chain so I could eat Twinkies

  85. meat is sweet, veggies won’t make you heavy but sugar is for goobers

    or maybe:

    run fast, eat colorful and live well

  86. “I thought about trying Vegan, but cannibalism is outlawed.”….haha this one was good!!

  87. Discover a life beyond macronutrient obsession – The Primal Blueprint

    Taylor made for you, by them – The Primal Blueprint

    Lifestyles, like fine wines, are better the older they date.

    The Primal Blueprint, 2.5 million years of R&D inside.

    Primal eating vs. S.A.D = 2.5 million years of common sense vs. 100 years of science

    It comes down to this: 2.5 million years of trial and error, or a 100 years of sponsored research.

    Marks Daily Apple, re-simplifying life.

  88. The Primal lifestyle – keeping people lean and fit since prehistory.

  89. Primal Blueprint: Keeping humans at the top of the food chain, one Grok at a time.

  90. Your mind knows it. Your body wants it. Why fight it? Give in to your needs.

  91. The shelf life is the same in your body as it is in the store.

    Bacon is meat candy.

  92. Primal Eating:
    “If you can’t kill it or gather it in under an hour, you shouldn’t be eating it.”