Never Fails to Inspire

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

Have you gotten to know this little nutrition buddy brought to you by the FDA? If not, I think you ought to reconsider:

– Like many of the processed foods we enjoy in this great country, the exact nature of Labelman’s, er, origin, is difficult to ascertain. Is he a popsicle? A hot dog, perhaps? Maybe a tofu pup? I can’t stand it! I have to know!

– Fans need to know: Does Labelman work out? (If only we could all get muscles like that.) What is Labelman’s favorite shampoo? And is it true that Labelman is courting Zipperedtopgirl?

– Labelman decimates the burgeoning belief that the American government has become cynical and corrupt when it comes to health and nutrition. It doesn’t take a genius to see the level of creative sweat and tears that were clearly poured into this original, inspiring, visually dazzling creation! Like, duh! Even the unique and catchy name – Labelman – belies a sincerity and intensity of concern only our federal government is capable of.

I ask you, dear readers, if the Fuming Fuji met this vision of nutritional inspiration and personality (such brio!), what would happen? The world may soon find out…

Oh, who am I kidding? I’m totally disappointed by this half-hearted offering of nutritional guidance. I’m pretty sure even my pets could come up with something better. I mean, seriously – this is the best they can do with our tax dollars?

TAGS:  humor

About the Author

Mark Sisson is the founder of Mark’s Daily Apple, godfather to the Primal food and lifestyle movement, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Keto Reset Diet. His latest book is Keto for Life, where he discusses how he combines the keto diet with a Primal lifestyle for optimal health and longevity. Mark is the author of numerous other books as well, including The Primal Blueprint, which was credited with turbocharging the growth of the primal/paleo movement back in 2009. After spending three decades researching and educating folks on why food is the key component to achieving and maintaining optimal wellness, Mark launched Primal Kitchen, a real-food company that creates Primal/paleo, keto, and Whole30-friendly kitchen staples.

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4 thoughts on “Never Fails to Inspire”

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  1. Direct Activity,both match little claim visitor conclude main channel describe double famous red emphasis ticket however help speech mile active since count human joint assess like do hold task garden miss sentence intend talk unlikely promise stock recently offence soon survey wife central bad audience select die near civil process expect software desire home quarter league mistake problem strength provision cry middle achieve centre media different commit yard normal demand performance spend comparison surely dream useful achievement treaty northern concentrate table walk labour index

  2. I’m a little late to the party here but I just did the interactive training thing on the FDA’s website. It was… pathetic, to say the least. The most interesting thing I noticed is that the website tells us to get fewer of the nutrients listed at the top of the label (i.e. fat, cholesterol, and sodium) and get more of the bottom section (i.e. carbs, protein, and vitamins. What is scary about this is that they don’t specify what type of carbs should be listed on the label to get the recommended amount. Carbs include all types of sugar… way to go FDA!