Contest: Primal is…

The Prize:

Unwieldy weight comes in all unwieldy shapes and all unwieldy sizes. Today’s heavy chunk of unwieldiness is call a Sandball. Part sandbag, part medicine ball, part kettlebell, good for heaving, swinging, and lugging around. It doesn’t have the wonderful scratch-your-hands-up quality of an actual rock, but you can always scrape your hands over concrete for a few minutes after using this sandball if you really need that “just got home from a long day of bashing my food’s skull in with a rough stone” feel. The winner of today’s contest will receive a blue logo BallBell sandball, courtesy of Alpha Strong.

The Contest:

What is Primal?

Primal is…

  • naming your cat “Sparemeal.”
  • never having to say you’re sorry. To a vegan.
  • making a bacon sandwich using only one ingredient.
  • referring to your toddler as “My little kettlebell.”
  • when your eating habits cause a national egg shortage (yes, I’m looking at you, Australians).
  • refusing to believe a steak smoothie is a bad idea.
  • living in Denver and walking to work, in Seattle.
  • watching breaking news about a “forest fire” and misunderstanding it to be breaking news about a “large barbecue.”

Get the idea? Write your own in the comments section. I’ll pick a winner.

The Deadline:

Midnight, tonight!

Who is Eligible:

You. You are eligible.

About the Author

Mark Sisson is the founder of Mark’s Daily Apple, godfather to the Primal food and lifestyle movement, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Keto Reset Diet. His latest book is Keto for Life, where he discusses how he combines the keto diet with a Primal lifestyle for optimal health and longevity. Mark is the author of numerous other books as well, including The Primal Blueprint, which was credited with turbocharging the growth of the primal/paleo movement back in 2009. After spending three decades researching and educating folks on why food is the key component to achieving and maintaining optimal wellness, Mark launched Primal Kitchen, a real-food company that creates Primal/paleo, keto, and Whole30-friendly kitchen staples.

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    1. Primal is…
      spending halftime walking to the park barefoot to climb an apple tree for late lunch, and making it back in time to catch the kickoff.

  1. Having your 3 y.o. Come home from preschool surprised that no one else in his class including his teachers likes Greek olives, after chowing on 10 for lunch and spitting out the pits…

    Having your friend tell you that you were the one who turned her kids onto loving sliced raw pepper slices (or any other healthy food).

    Seeing the looks of disbelief on peoples faces when you tell them your diet is pretty much always greater than 50% fat and you are easily able to maintain a healthy weight…

    Explaining a healthy diet to your kids who are learning otherwise in their health classes… My kids will all tell you that grains should not be on the bottom of that food pyramid…

  2. …wearing a loin cloth on your next deployment because it blends in better than the latest Air Force uniform.

  3. A logistical nightmare when eating with other people…who then don’t understand why you’re in such good shape.

  4. Primal is:
    … having your feet enameled so you never have to wear shoes again.

    … bangin’ out a set of burpee pull-ups on the goal post during halftime at your child’s soccer game.

    and perhaps… getting sued by the County for growing too many vegetables [http://www.wsbtv.com/news/24979774/detail.html].

    1. Re: veggies… Here’s a version of the article with more info:
      http://clatl.com/atlanta/steve-mille…nt?oid=1275993

      Sounds like the issue is not the actual growing or even how many he’s growing — it’s that he’s selling them and running afoul of a law meant to stop big commercial agriculture in residential-zoned areas.

      The county helped him rezone his land, but he still isn’t happy about the fine for the earlier off-zoning activities:
      http://www.aolnews.com/nation/articl…-saga/19633544

      So basically this is resolved. It was a business/residential zoning issue, not a “ZOMG VEGGIES BAD” issue.

  5. doing pullups on the bar in my kitchen doorway while cooking up something delicious for dinner.

    also, holding conversations w/ almost every person i pass on hiking trails because they want comment on or ask about my VFFs.

  6. Actually considering eating dirt because it is WAY cheaper than buying a probiotic.

  7. …devouring the endless shrimp at Red Lobster grilled in butter with ZERO guilt while the waiter looks at you like you are crazy.

  8. … starting your workout at halftime of the football game you’re watching, and not missing a minute of the second half.

  9. …People thinking you are weird. Means you are doing something right especially when the people that are telling you this are on a ton of meds for cholesterol, diabetes, high blood pressure…somehow they think their way is right and you are weird. Yup, keep thinking that buddy!

  10. … taking pleasure in your colleagues’ bewildered faces while they watch you (in your VFF’s) tear into a roasted lamb leg in the break room!

  11. … being more annoyed by the fact a broken bone means you can’t work out as much than by how difficult it makes your day job.

    … denuding two bargain stores’ beef jerky supplies to fuel a road trip.

    … dressing up as Grok for Halloween (a loincloth and a stick *definitely* fit my costume budget).

    1. aCK! I have a broken toe and it has really bummed me out that I’m stuck to typical bench and single muscle crap!

  12. … Asking the Department of Fish and Game if hunting a moose with an atlatl is allowed during bow season.

  13. …relishing that pool of red liquid that settles under your steak and forgoing the white bread to mop it up. Better put your veggies (or tongue) to good use.

  14. Having words like pemmican in your vocabulary.

    Wearing vibrams, but only because there aren’t any public places that would allow me to just go barefoot.

    Carrying a spear, because hey, spears are cool.

  15. …birthing a child in the wilderness and politely asking a wolf to gnaw through the umbilical chord!!!

    1. LOL! “…politely asking…” See? Grok (through the magic of etiquette) was definately in tune with his environment!

  16. …raising kids who know about all the ways CW sneaks sugar into all the foods in the grocery store

    …getting weird looks when your 5 year old yells down the aisle “Mama, did you say 4 packages of nitrate free bacon?”

    …playing with my kids…or playing like I’m with my kids even when I’m not!

    …having kids who volunteer to go to bed early because they want to get adequate sleep!

    On a serious note…this was a great little exercise. I’ve been feeling a bit defeated at home. It was nice to think about all the ways I am succeeding. I am making changes for our family. We are becoming more primal and healthier for it. Thanks for the reminder.

    1. Indeed, this is a good testimonial, but I feel obligated to provide you with some information about nitrate free bacon.

      “Nitrate free” bacon is loaded with celery salt – which becomes nitrates/nitrites when cooked. In fact, “nitrate free” meats often have more nitrates than those that are treated with actual Nitrate.

      This has been verified by multiple laboratories/sources. For example, Cook’s Illustrated completed a third-party test:

      Nitrite has long been a controversial food additive, with studies showing it forms carcinogenic compounds called nitrosamines when heated in the presence of proteins, like those in bacon. Regular bacon is cured with nitrite (NO?) or a virtually identical chemical, nitrate (NO?), both of which act as preservatives, though only nitrite has the potential to form potentially harmful nitrosamines. Bacon labeled “nitrate- or nitrite-free,” on the other hand, is brined with salt, a bacterial lactic acid starter culture, and celery juice (sometimes listed as “natural flavor”).

      But here’s the catch: Celery juice naturally contains a high level of organic nitrate, which is converted to the problematic nitrite by the bacteria in the starter culture and also by saliva during chewing. Despite this fact, it’s technically correct to label the bacon “no nitrates or nitrites added,” since the compounds are formed during production, not added as ingredients. The question is: How do the levels of nitrite and nitrate in uncured bacon compare with those in its cured counterpart?

      When we fried up strips of our favorite supermarket bacon, Farmland Hickory Smoked, along with Farmland All-Natural Uncured Bacon (“no nitrate or nitrite added”), tasters found the samples virtually identical in taste and texture. To quantify the nitrite and nitrate levels in these bacons, we sent three packages of each type to a lab for testing. For comparison, we also sent three packages of the Best Buy from our tasting of artisanal bacon, Applegate Farms Uncured Sunday Bacon (labeled “no nitrites added”). As we expected, all of the bacons contained nitrite and nitrate, and the nitrite levels were well within U.S. Department of Agriculture guidelines of no more than 120 parts per million (ppm). But to our surprise, the uncured bacons actually had higher levels of nitrite than the cured meat: Farmland Hickory Smoked Bacon registered an average of 9.7 ppm nitrite (and 48 ppm nitrate), while its All-Natural counterpart showed an average of 16.3 ppm nitrite (and 10.3 ppm nitrate). And the Applegate Farms Uncured Sunday Bacon averaged more than three times the level of the regular bacon: 35 ppm nitrite (and nearly as much nitrate, at 44.3 ppm).

  17. Primal is when your grocery bag is made from the carcus of last nights dinner

  18. …having all your friends over for dinner and them telling me that I better then I have looked in years. Then they ask what my secert is and I point to the dinner I preapred for them that was all primal and that they enjoyed without knowning it.

  19. Primal is when you find yourself getting hungry wandering through the ice age section of your local natural history museum and wonder if those mammoth fossils will still have good marrow in ’em……

  20. Primal is
    eating grasshoppers with your 5 year old son because that’s what cavemen did.

    when your daughter drops food on the ground picks it up and eats it while saying “probiotics”.

  21. Primal is…

    …believing that bare feet are standard attire, and Vibram Five Fingers are de rigueur for formal occasions.

    …eating not only the produce, but also the grasshoppers, from your garden.

    …shunning Conventional Wisdom for the pursuit of life-long health and happiness.

    1. going against the grain!
      – love the fun and oh so true, play on words!

  22. Having A Good Time, Going Against CW, That Is Primal Life.

    Primal Poetry 😀

  23. … taking pains to avoid having pains.

    … lifting, leaping, running, creeping, pulling, pushing, squatting and SLEEPING!

  24. …your high cholesterol relatives visit and have a heart attack over the amount of fat you eat.
    …instead of chocolate for valentines day your spouse gives you a side of bacon.
    …when at youth camp, your kids ask their counselors if they can hunt the deer around the camp instead of having to eat cafeteria food.
    … your idea of “fun” is hunting bunnies in the park.
    … you have to explain to your vegan friends, for the umpteenth time, why you don’t eat “healthy” whole grains.
    … when your kids are over at their friends’ house and they refuse to eat “healthy” food like rice pasta and whole wheat bread.
    … your on a road trip and seriously consider stopping the car just to go hunt the deer on the side of the road.

  25. Primal is making yourself a home-made Baconator (no bun, of course), and proudly proclaiming that you are a “Meat-atarian.”

  26. Primal is…

    Having a healthy body, freedom, good intuition and the ability to attract beautiful mates.

  27. Primal means being so hungry you could eat an entire cow….literally

  28. Having an epic to-the-death fantasy fight inside your head of just you and Liger and spear while taking walk through the woods

  29. Having my two sons who are 2 and 5 calling them my little Groks when they are in the yard wrestling each other and me or climbing on there jungle gym. Also being a Phys. Ed. teacher I can have all my students do Primal movements in class and calling them my Primal Army. Thats what Primal means to me.

  30. …having your PCP ask you “how you did it” when they review your blood work and see your cholesterol has gone waaaaaaaaaaay down without any pharmaceuticals.

  31. …finding out that you can reclaim joy and health in your life at age 50 and rebuilding (almost) all the physical capacity you’ve lost due to poor eating habits and lack of fun and functional exercise!

  32. Primal is…
    Checking your recipes to see if you have something for the road kill you just saw.

  33. Primal is being happy with having nothing. Knowing you don’t need any magic pill or shortcuts to be happy and healthy.

  34. … your doctor insisting that the lab he uses is incompetent because your last three cholesterol panels cannot possibly improve this much going off statin therapy and eating such high saturated fat while doing minimal exercise.

  35. Primal is…

    letting your body cure itself by using primal foods, exercise, and adequate sleep.

  36. Primal is wearing your Vibram Fivefingers out to a nice restaurant because real shoes are prison for your feet!

    True Story! haha

  37. …seeing a picture of an actor in People magazine going barefoot to an Emmy party, with an inset shot of his usual Vibrams foot attire, and wondering if he’s one of us.

  38. Primal is….
    thinking of a Wildlife Refuge as a vast untracked wilderness abounding in uncooked game.

  39. … 15-minute speed shopping through the produce and meat departments while everyone else has to shop through the remaining 80% of the grocery store.

  40. … your neighbors asking if you’re the one who barbecues every evening.

  41. … being fully satisfied from full fat and delicious meals while still remaining healthy and losing/maintaining ideal weight.

    1. …not shaving your armpits because it distracts your mom from the fact that you still “don’t eat anything normal.”

  42. …my wife giving birth to both our children naturally in a birth center and going home that same day…did i mention they were 10 lb 8 oz and 10 lb 12 oz respectively (at birth)…

    …and then not having a Sandball for this week’s WOW so using the nearest heavy object which was our 6 month old, 25 lb son for 50 meter carries.

  43. …having a grocery bill that can spark a PETA riot.

    …sprinting 1/100th of a marathon and walking back with a smile on your face.

  44. …ipping the bran and eating 5 eggs and 5 slices of bacon each breakfast because you “are trying to get lean”sk

  45. …bringing grass-fed beef patties to the PTA pot-luck with no buns.

    (Suck on that Wal-Mart-shopping, milk-pushing, $5 pizza-buying, fat-free yogurt-eating moms!)

  46. Being happy as hell you can drive 40 miles to get grass fed beef and noticing when you get home the 1 lbs packages look kind of big so you weigh one and it tips the scales at 1.5 lbs! Now THAT’S primal…LOL.

  47. …listening to your body telling you what it REALLY needs to thrive!

  48. Being primal is…
    -asking a confused waiter for the ‘salad dressing on the side’ but with the ‘extra-fatty’ meat

    -At the end of an active day, you’re in need of: a foot rub? no, thanks. An extensive foot scrub for your dirt-brown soles? Probably

    -when the bread basket has been left untouched, but the butter dish has been licked clean

    -you can almost feel insulin spike coming on after walking by Krispy Kreme

    -A trip to the zoo feels strangely like a trip down the grocery aisle…

  49. …actually looking forward to the freezer full of venison my brother gives me each year. And really cooking it this time.

  50. …reassuring your grandmother when she hears from your mom that you “don’t eat anything normal” by saying “Oh, grandma, it’s not like I’m a VEGETARIAN!”

  51. …if you insensitively walk into a Vegan restaurant and ask for directions to the Keg.

    …if you start eyeing your kid’s pet rabbit.

    …if you leave bite marks on the butter.

    …if you get in character and start barking at the chronic runners at the park.

    …if you lecture your doctor during physicals.

    (I can do this all day)

    …if you have wet dreams of your lover covered in bacon, and in it you ask your lover to step out.

    I’ll top here, but all these have been tested 😛

  52. Primal is: being able to walk again without pain while keeping my original knees.

    1. oh yeah!
      Primal is … no more stomach pains and the useless ineffective medicines to treat them.

  53. …getting to listen to your 5 and 6 year old teach the grocer how to make almond butter and how the eggs in the store aren’t anywhere near as good as the eggs we get from the lady down the street. 🙂

  54. ….going to work in vibrams and ignoring wide eyed stares from your colleagues

  55. …asking for the full fat dressing when others are getting low fat.

    …standing all day at work in your cube while other co-works constantly ask why?

    …letting out your inner animal and just having fun!

  56. sitting with your little ass on the humanure bucket outside, nekkid, getting some Vitamin D, and making fertilizer for your big crop of greens, to be used in your Big Ass Salad in approximately one year.

  57. ….hanging out in the grass-fed meat section of the farmer’s market.

  58. …using Coconut Oil instead of diaper cream.

    …naming your kitten Pemmican.

    …Needing a dictionary to figure out what intestine you’re actually consuming.

    …wishing Iowa had a lot more cows and a lot less corn.

    …your freezer has more free-range organic chicken stock than an actual grocery store.

    …your children as you what Grok would do.

  59. Primal Is
    Telling a Vegan that you eat cows cos they are made of beef
    That you eat Pigs because they are made of bacon

  60. Primal is

    FInding yourself in an airplane crash and you start eating the victims BEFORE they run out of airline food 🙂

  61. …living each day as if it were your first and your last.

    …a natural life.

  62. Primal is…
    …realizing your normal chocolate choice is still perfectly acceptable for primal eating (88% dark chocolate).
    …turning down your boss’ offer for a ride to work. You’d rather walk the 2.5 miles. (I was already half way there any way!)
    …going gluten free 7.5 years ago and realizing I’m already halfway low carb because I’m a lazy celiac!
    …treating my aches and pains with MORE BACON!

    1. Oh, and looking forward to the day I can tell the orthopedist to shove his orthotics where the sun don’t shine. The VFF were cheaper and my feet feel better because of them!

  63. …the overwhelming sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when…bodyfat % is in the single digits without “effort”; you found, use, and embrace “the energy” that you’ve always heard about; every meal is filled with fat, taste, and awesomeness; you no longer talk about how “back in the day I could…”; upon seeing your diet and activities people look at you like you are from neptune(and you just smile); you realize that you don’t remember what headaches, colds, and being tired felt like.

  64. …punching a bear in the nads just for looking at you wrong.

    …walking to school (a cave?) in the snow. Uphill. Both ways.

    …watching a kung-fu wire-fighting movie and seriously contemplating how to do it.

  65. Primal is ripping a frisbee out of the open sky over some dude’s shoulder on the ultimate field. Air alert!

  66. … when the Weight Watchers group who has been making fun of your every “unhealthy” meal at work starts coming to you in secret, one by one, and asking where they can find this “Primal Blueprint” book after seeing your results versus theirs.

  67. Primal is:

    -For a few meals a week, your menu options are: chamomile, rooibos, and peppermint.

    -A PETA protest was staged against your dinner party.

    -you knew life would never be the same after the first time you tried pastured bacon.

    -Your secretary routinely sees ‘playtime’ written on your schedule (although you have no kids).

    -Youre unsurprised to learn that French for ‘bread’ is le ‘pain’

  68. Primal is…sticking it to the “man”

    Primal is…not having painful, embarrassing gas

  69. Primal is…….

    when you are truly Primal head to toe (literally). When your pinkie toe, which was reluctant at first to separate from your second toe when slipping in your Vibrams, now gladly glides itself into its home so that you can embark on an urban hike without cutting your feet on a broken glass bottle.

    That is Primal!

    Grok On!!!

  70. …being used to weird looks from checkers and the people behind you in line at the grocery store and feeling smugness at knowing you have good stuff in your cart.

  71. … walking down the street looking at the trees trying to find out which ones have the best branches to do pull ups on.

    … going to a restaurant and trying order a steak dinner with a side of bacon, or at the very least with a side of mashed cauliflower.

    … the look peoples faces when they find out that you ate an entire chicken for dinner

    … when you walk into a huge supermarket chain and are amazed how little actual food is in there.

    … when your local farmer knows more about you than your doctor.

  72. . . . the confusion your friends show when they consider your Grok bod and the fact that you eat 4 eggs and 4 (or more) pieces of bacon every day for breakfast

  73. Not having anything but ground meat left in the fridge, so just cooking a bunch of that in a skillet, adding cinnamon and chili powder to “make it interesting,” and eating half a pound of just ground beef for dinner.

    OR

    Going to a deli and ordering a quarter pound of roast beef and a tomato for lunch.

    Friend: “You aren’t going to get a sandwich?”

    Me: “Naw” *rips open package and starts chomping at the roast beef*

    Friend: “You’re like a wild animal!”

    Me: “Yeah, I try not to be a zoo human.”

  74. OK – three more – I guess the first is Mark’s 🙂

    Primal IS.

    Primal is Normal

    Primal IS Primal

    Last one is Deep! 🙂

  75. …four basic food groups: vegetables, bacon, almonds, and coconut oil.

  76. Primal is living full-tilt with a heavy dose of fun and a whole bunch of veggies and meat along with some yoga and weights. What’s not to like?

  77. Primal is…having a 24-hour Intermittant Fast. For appetizers 🙂

  78. …is finally feeling guilt-free for eating what my body needs.

    …is eating more coconut oil so my nursing baby can get what they need.

  79. …finally listening to what your body REALLY wants, and following its messages, rather than “trying to do everything right,” even when your body doesn’t seem to respond like it should. And finally, finally feeling better, even though you’ve been living “so healthy” your whole life.

  80. …watching college football with home made beef jerky and organic red wine while everyone around you drinks beer and eats chips.

  81. We eat the food our ancestors ate, avoiding poisonous things.
    We play the games our ancestors played. We lift the heavy things our ancestors lifted.
    We walk the way our ancestors walked. We sprint as fast as we can away from the danger of conventional life and it’s so called wisdom.

    To me, being Primal is disconnecting from the poison and sickness of the superficial world human beings have created. To live a life connected to the natural world and therefore to our true selves.

  82. …bucking CW and consumerism so often that you wonder if Grok was a libertarian socialist.

  83. … eating when hungry, sleeping when tired, and filling your life with love and play and fun.

  84. …is being really excited about getting a dehydrator for your birthday.

  85. primal is:
    -love to nature
    -love to delicious and nutritious food
    -self conciousness and belief in your abilities
    -freedom
    -joy of simple things
    -stamina

  86. Primal is…

    …declining the bread basket at a restaurant, then looking at your server like she’s crazy when she asks if you want your omelet cooked with egg whites.

    …wearing your FiveFingers to work just in case you’re compelled to do a couple of sprints on your break.

    …blissfully strolling down the street at sunset while Scrawny McRunsalot whizzes past you in a grueling effort to beat yesterday’s time.

  87. …when you think a blackberry is a delicious anti-oxidant filled snack

    …when you think tweeting is the sound your free-range organic dinner makes before it’s hunted

  88. Primal is…

    Having to scrub your filthy 70 year old feet just like you did at age 10.

  89. Primal is …

    classic.

    retro the right way.

    supercarnivibralicious

  90. Primal is thinking it is time for breakfast… then seeing that the clock says 7pm.

  91. …doing push-ups with a 25 lb. bag of chicken feed on my back, waiting for my chickens to lay my breakfast.

  92. licking the plate to get every last bit of buttery goodness. No matter where you are.

  93. … wondering if your dinner guests would notice if you ate a spoonful of that yummy looking butter sitting on the table.

  94. …when you get arrested for spear-throwing in a public park, but you’re not too upset because it will give you time to try that prison work-out.

  95. Primal is eating
    Bacon, getting fit, and
    Living life fully!

    (hurray haiku, and also the cheesy “PBL” for the start of each line!)

  96. …thinking it’s still perfectly acceptable to go barefoot when it’s 40 degrees F outside.

  97. Primal is walking the mile to work in your vibrams, and doing dead hang pullups on the door frame every time you walk by the “crap room” (snack room) at work instead of eating all of the candy and chips that your fat co-workers eat. And knowing you can do more pull-ups as a woman than 90% of your male co-workers because you believe in functional exercise, not 2 hours of isolation exercise.

  98. when your restaurant order is “can I have that carb free, gluten free, with grilled chicken, with olive oil on the side, extra veggies and salad, hold the fries.”
    my friends are used to it now.

  99. ..going out for a morning trail run, to “hunt”, going straight from that to “gathering” food at the store and going home to set up the slow cooker for some delicious meals for the week, take a nap, wake up, and feel better than you ever have. (and have a house that smells AMAZING) My day today!

  100. Primal is…rekindling your life when too many of your friends die from cancer.

  101. primal is walking to class and having a bike rider run into a tree… staring at your bare feet.

  102. Primal is…keeping grains in your pantry so you can snack on the mealworms.

  103. having to leave the park because the dogs are tired and refuse to play with you anymore

  104. Primal is having fun while using your body to move in a variety of ways. Primal is truly letting your your body feel hungry before you nurture it with something that has once been living. Realizing that living energy takes living energy. Feeling better because you know these things to be true.

  105. waking up in the morning as the sun rises, stepping outside, sprinting on the wet grass, tossing around some boulders, coming home, eating some green eggs and ham, and dozing off while lying flat on the floor. all with dirty feet.

  106. Primal is the inability to walk down the street without picking up your neighbor’s fallen tree and doing a few squats.

  107. Using your significant other for weight training: squatting with her across your back, piggyback sprints, bench-pressing her, and playing tug-of-war.

  108. … being able to name more fruits and vegetables than Alton Brown while still being bewildered by inventions like “maple butter”

  109. …realizing that wanting to play, run, jump, crawl and laugh all the time means that you had it right all along.

  110. Primal is

    convincing yourself the naughty little pig deserved it.

    assuaging your guilt over a thick pork chop (or two).

  111. Primal means never having to feel hungry again. Instead of following “traditional” diets that deprive you and leave you feeling hungry all the time, you get to eat the best foods in the world, all you can eat (within reason, of course).

  112. Primal means telling your husband that it’s not only good to eat lots of bacon but it’s better for him than oatmeal and he buys you a 50# bag of pea gravel in gratitute so that you can make your own sand bag weights…

  113. … careering through the surf on your kayak with a bloody deck and a hatch full of fish

  114. Primal is killing a squirrel in the park with a rock and eating it under the tree

  115. Primal is…
    A health care system with no drugs, where the human body is allowed to function as it was designed to do!

  116. Primal is…
    Checking out at the grocery store and having to tell the cashier what everything in my cart is, and then have them stare at my weird feet as I walk out the door.

  117. Primal is:
    Sacrificing a goat on New Year’s so the sun will come up (for your January BBQ),
    Dragging her by her hair carefully to your cave for Valentine’s Day,
    Eating a snake for St. Patrick’s Day,
    Running rabbits to ground for Easter,
    Remembering your Cro-Magnon predecessors on Memorial Day,
    Carrying your father up a crag for Father’s Day,
    Cooking over a bonfire for the Fourth of July,
    Not celebrating “National Sponge Cake Day” in August,
    Lifting Heavy Things on Labor Day,
    Handing out steaks to Trick-or-Treaters,
    Shopping for your Thanksgiving Turkey…with a club,
    For Christmas, asking Santa for a reindeer (yum).

    1. Oh! Great idea! I’ll find some small serving beef jerky or salmon jerky packages or maybe the beef snack sticks from US Wellness for my halloween treats!! Awesome!!

  118. Primal is. . .

    Laughing when someone at the office talks about how Deborah in accounting lost ten pounds on The New Celebrity Endorsed Fad Diet (TM).

    Growing a beard because you went four hours without a razor.

    Being as happy as your kids. For the same reasons.

    Feeling as good as you look, and looking as good as you feel.

    Forgetting your shoes every time you walk out the door.

    Eating a two pounds of red meat in front of new age dieters.

    And that’s about all I’ve got.

  119. Asking the omelet chef at the hotel breakfast buffet to make yours with butter, not olive oil, even though you look like the kind of woman who would never touch butter. And then filling up the rest of the plate with bacon.

  120. Primal is not having to worry about the rising cost of health care because your pharmacy is growing, buzzing and clucking in your backyard.

  121. top ten signs you’ve gone Primal

    10. you know the butcher at the supermarket by name
    9. you find yourself parking far away so you can add to your low level cardio for the week
    8. your kids goldfish is on reserve for a snack if you run out of home made jerky
    7. you picked up that sledge hammer you bought five years ago for a project you can’t remember, but this time your using it to mimic a hunt at a public park
    6. you realize the last time you could do this many pushups was…..never
    5. instead of heading to the supermarket you’ve actually considered setting snares in your backyard…just to see what would happen
    4. you now realize why you were always envious of characters such as: Tarzan, george of the jungle, kunta kinte, achilles, and every other hard body epic action hero (they never stopped for a sandwich in those movies)
    3. your spear throwing abilities have vastly improved since this time last year
    2. you’ve considered moving in next door to Mark Sisson, just so that you can mimic his every movement
    1. you recently had an argument with your spouse about naming your next child Grok!!

    GROK ON!!!

    1. ..trying to keep the fact that you skipped a meal secret so you don’t have to hear “aren’t you hungry?!?” over and over again for the next few hours.

  122. realizing it is ok to ENJOY life!!

    being the ONLY adult playing on the playground equipment with their kids!!

  123. Primal is..
    fresh air, sunshine, and the feeling of grass between your toes

  124. Primal is when your teenage babysitter thinks you have only crappy snacks to eat

  125. P orterhouse steak
    R ibs
    I ntermittent fasting
    M ushrooms
    A lmonds
    L ard

  126. … seeing the surprised face of my doctor after my happy statement that my fibromyalgia almost disappeared since going primal

    … not getting stressed if I forgot to take lunch to work

    … being able to enjoy all the yummy natural foods, that others think are evil – like cream, butter, fat and meat

    …using coconut oil to cook, bake, fry, moisturize my skin and condition my hair

    …having to switch to size up tops and suit jackets so my stronger shoulders and arm muscles could fit comfortably.

    … laughing at people who pity me for not having a car and having to walk so much

    …drool over the image of beautiful raw beef just waiting to be prepared

    …counting carrying heavy grocery bags as a good workout and considering walking back home in lounges

    …making sure the fridge never runs empty of eggs or butter

    … being able to workout hard without chronic joint/muscle pains

    … having no desire nor temptation whatsoever to eat cakes, donuts, candies or other junk, even if it’s offered in big amounts and you used to devour it with no self control…

    … being able to go hours without eating without any nausea, headache or drop in energy

    … being educated and knowledgeable about my own body and making educated decisions. being in sync with of nature and biological heritage

  127. the excitement of rediscovering yourself coupled with the realization of your species and its true place in the -animal- kingdom. the capabilities of the physique and the capacity of the mind…..
    truth.

  128. …having my wife and two young children adopt this awesome nutrition and exercise plan along with me. Who knew something so simple could bring a whole family together!

  129. A chest freezer stuffed full of meat

    When the only milk in your fridge is breastmilk!

  130. … realizing that living on the 4th floor without an elevator is not a pain in the butt, but rather good for the butt!

  131. Primal is buying a can of diet coke and using it to degrease your clothes, then getting absolutely disgusted when someone drinks it.

  132. …is having your neighbors look at you like you are a weirdo while you are acting out a hunt in your back yard with sandbags and club

  133. Primal is consciously and conspicuously shirking the conventions of civilization and their completely nonsensical interpretations of nutritional standards, exercise, and entertainment that intend to create a healthier, happier future human race when in actuality they only serve to enslave us in a circular existence wrought with ill-health and unhappiness. If they only knew the answer lies in our past: primal is the key to longevity and eternal happiness.

  134. Primal is…

    …as Grok did!
    …getting stared at in the grocery line.
    … not buying anything with a “Nutrition Facts” label.
    …buying the bulk 5lb of bacon for the week at Costco, but you live alone.
    …a whole lotta nuts!
    … when your workout lasts 4 minutes, but has been more work than anyone that goes to the local gym.
    …a nap in the afternoon sunlight.
    …being sad about losing your hanging branch when you move.
    …never being able to have too much bacon or too many eggs.
    …smiling after a workout.

  135. Primal is…

    Exercising anywhere…

    Including the house! Dents and marks in the walls, smashed light bulbs, smashed lamp, smashed ceramic cook top, pulled off the range hood.

    Oops… sorry Dad!!

  136. …a walk in the park! Or a barefoot run through the woods with a spear… your choice.

    1. How about a barefoot run through the park with a spear? That’s sure to wig out pedestrians. And dogs.

  137. …looking at a bug and wondering how it would taste roasted, or dusted with almond flour and lightly fried in coconut oil. =)

  138. .. when you stop blaming your genes for the size of your jeans.!

  139. primal is about changing your lifestyle and impacting others as well

  140. … considering a pet pig for the first time ever!

    Why do bacon prices have to go through the roof when my mantra is “There’s no such thing as too much bacon” (Mark Sisson, March 31, 2010)?

  141. Grabbing a piece of meat off the grill with your bare hands and gnawing on it sans the bread and ketchup, much to the amazement of fellow tailgaters (at today’s football game)!

  142. Primal is…

    * never taking more then you can eat, but always having enough to share

    * accepting that we have made a good choice and that while others may not have made the same choice, it’s still their choice

    * setting a good example and always being willing to try new foods, exercises, new people and new ideas openly and honestly

  143. Mark,

    Maybe we should rename out Aussie-Groksters “Eggstralian”.

  144. Primal is when someone offers you a Brontosaurus steak and you ask if it’s range-fed.

  145. Primal is taking your kids to the park and getting more excited over the monkey bars than they are.

  146. Primal is… watching National Geographic for lifestyle and fitness tips.

  147. Primal is identifying the animal kingdoms as Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.

  148. Primal is using every part of the buffalo except the screwdriver.

  149. Primal is wondering if the bag limit depends on how big of a bag you have.

  150. Primal is eating bacon for dessert.

    Primal is sizing up the critters in your yard, just in case you need a snack.

  151. Primal is understanding that there’s plenty of room for all God’s creatures, right inside my freezer.

  152. Primal is when your only concept of “fast food” is the antelope that you are chasing down for dinner.

  153. Primal is catching and cooking up a goanna for dinner. (Tastes like chicken).
    Buying the whole shelf of butter because it was on special.
    Getting labelled the heartless parent who won’t let the kids eat junk.

  154. Grunting/moaning through labor un-apologetically and then giving birth to your twin daughters AT HOME with NO DRUGS in your bedroom, where you, um, “made” them. Then breastfeeding baby A while you labor out baby B. Try that the next time you are looking for a challenge!!! I did it-exactly a year ago Sunday!

  155. Primal is knowing that you were right, and not your parents, when as a kid you wanted more meat to eat but was told you didn’t need it.

  156. …living life the way you were made to live it: happy and healthy, with a side of bacon.

  157. Primal is grilling a grass-fed steak as a between meal snack.
    Primal is enjoying cream and butter without any worries.
    Primal means no blood sugar problems and excellent energy and health!!

  158. Primal is waking up every day without heartburn pain or nausea if I want to… or rolling over and going back to sleep until my fiancee wakes me up with the smell and sound of sizzling bacon and a cup of black coffee.

  159. … splitting raw meat with our kittens and laughing every time I hear of the newest “miracle food” craze

  160. …suppressing our learned behaviors and celebrating the animal in all of us.

  161. Primal is … the beginning of living a healthy and fit life after 45 years of slowly dying by listening to the “experts”.

  162. -getting weird looks at the park doing pull-ups on the monkey bars while my kids play
    -Using my 3 kids (38 lbs, 27 lbs and 24 lbs) as my heavy weights)
    -climbing a tree… just because I can
    -eating cocoa powder, coconut oil and almonds mixed together for dessert
    -looking in shock at peoples grocery carts and realizing that they are looking the same way at mine
    -when you babies first foods are coconut and avocado
    -taking bags of fresh cooked bacon as snacks for the kids
    -my two year old declaring that her favorite food is bacon… at a mom’s group full of vegetarians
    -being ‘barefoot and pregnant”
    -answering “bacon” when asked what your weight loss and beauty secret is.

  163. Primal is looking forward to helping your friends move because hauling mattresses up stairs reminds you of dragging an animal carcass back to camp.

    1. watching your sweet little three year old girl devour a rib bone and then look up and say “more meat mama. now”

  164. Primal is when “I’m going for a run” means: balancing on handrails, foraging for berries, climbing trees, carrying logs, throwing rocks, and playing on playground equipment.

  165. Primal is finding a nice flat slab of rock in your front yard and proceeding to do a cave-painting of you, your husband, and son (spears in hand), and declaring it “The Family Photo”.

  166. feeling guilty about extra bread on your sandwich and not the extra bacon.

    the continuous surprise of onlookers and friends who assume that my six-pack abs are from a low fat diet.

    hope two submissions are ok.

  167. Grok for president (of the FDA, EPA and USDA)

    Primal is:
    -freedom from scheduling workouts and meals

    -leaving the dumbbells out and randomly using them throughout the day, cause you feel like it

    -joyfully and proudly getting teary-eyed in the supermarket when your 3 year old announces to people that what they are picking up is UNHEALTHY!

    -cooking 6lbs of bacon and 48 egg muffins on Sunday to last the week for the family

    -is so much easier, so much stronger, so much faster, so much healthier, so much leaner, so much happier, so much simpler, so much funner and so much right

  168. Primal is…

    Apologizing to the vegans… as in, “I’m so sorry you don’t know the sheer joy that is center-cut bacon.”

    Explaining to my academic advisor/hospital co-workers/bosses that shoes are not part of my wardrobe, but if they’d like to buy me some fresh vibrams to wear just at work, I’m willing to compromise.

    Explaining that if I’m going to eat wheat bread, I might as well smoke some [insert illegal drug here] – same difference.

    Walking by the food court at Costco in amazement, watching people put objects into their mouths – objects that they actually consider food.

    Sitting in a room full of medical residents who don’t know why vitamin D levels shouldn’t fall below 30 – one the residents actually said, “because that’s what we were taught”

    Telling an Attending (physician) that vitamin D is fat soluble – so it’s not surprising that a Weight-Watchers fat-free addict is vitamin D deficient.

    I could go on……

  169. being better rested, having more free time, and being stronger and fitter than those that are chronically at the gym or out running!

  170. …having a five year old who says,’Mum, don’t eat that, it’s not primal!’

  171. Primal is when you are so busy making primal pancakes and waffles in the kitchen that you don’t log onto MDA in time to make the contest deadline! 😉

  172. Primal is sleeping on the floor next to your bed, waking up with the rising sun, eating foods as delicious today as they must have been half a million years ago, and moving around in a manner that, when coupled with diet, results in a healthy body unlike one you have ever known.

  173. I know I’m late to the party but I had to share a Primal moment I had at work.

    Primal is…

    … when you walk in to work your co-worker says “You smell like bacon.” Without thinking you reply “Thank you!”

  174. Primal is the urge to pull over and harvest a cow after you’ve been on a fast!

  175. …stealing the suet your wife put out for the birds to make tallow.
    …asking a butcher or farmer about organ meats or animal fats and being asked if they’re for your dog.
    …having to explain to the police why there’s blood on your hands and why you’re licking it off.
    …finding yourself getting the urge to bench-press your wife instead of hug her in the morning
    …asking for the “meatatarian” versions of dishes.
    …shocking restaurant waitstaff by asking if there’s any spare bacon grease in the kitchen.
    …shocking people buy crunching into soft animal bones with your teeth

  176. .. not having any more intestinal problems that you’ve had since you were 6!

  177. Wishing the supermarket would get around to banking the outer track already.

    Loving living in the garden shed to the amusement of friends and family but thinking of ways to make it more “outdoors”

    Routinely eating a steak before going out for dinner with friends, ’cause you know it would be rude to eat all the meat while they fill up on rice.

    Laughing at people when they say “Oh I couldn’t eat a steak for breakfast, It would just sit in my guts all day”

  178. … racing your dog to the stick you’ve just thrown, and winning most of the time!

  179. Primal is discovering how to cook real food. And loving every minute of it!

  180. Primal is wishing for a world where you didn’t have to explain to family and friend that eggs and bacon are not bad for you.

  181. Primal is…walking barefoot down the street with your kids not worrying what ‘they’ think;-) hey, we’re not homeless, we’re primal grrrr
    GROK ON!

  182. Primal is showing up to my grocery store butcher counter and the butcher asking me “how many bones do you want today?”

  183. knowing you’ll never go hungry… if your spear is always sharp.

    receiving a dinner invite that reads, “Bring your own food” at the bottom

  184. …going through the checkout line and the cashier saying, “wow, you must reallllly like coconut,” while he’s scanning coconut oil, whole coconut, flaked coconut (large and fine), coconut flour, coconut milk… you get the idea…

    another one….

    …never having to apologize for eating a LOT of bacon.

  185. Primal is:

    a body modification enthusiast tying other primitive concepts into her lifestyle. Primal is reality in the sense play-pretend she gets while fasted, with her face painted up, listening to little, breathless grunts and the speedy “thud-whooosh!” of her feet rolling over the grass, streched lobes flapping behind her as she sprints ‘for her life’. Primal is breaking fast after said sprints. Primal is feeling every bite of egg and bacon slide over your ribs. Primal is living. I am living Primal.

    Primal is me.

  186. Primal is cooking a shank of venison that you hunted with a spear you made your self over a bed of coals from a fire that you started with a hand drill that you carved yourself with nothing but a rock.

  187. Primal is silencing the person telling you that that pile of bacon will make you fat, by lifting your shirt to reveal your incredibly ripped midsection!

  188. Is finally being in control of your body, health and future…

    And thinking going to the beach to collect free seaweed for dinner is a good idea!!!

  189. having the grocery store manager ask you to stop bringing your spear into the meat department and insisting the ‘kill’ has already been done for you….silly managers