Contest: Name That Apron

The Prize:

Hunks of grass-fed meat, raw nuts and dried berries all conveniently packaged together: If your struggle during this first week of the 21-Day Challenge was finding healthy snacks or Primal meals while on-the-go, Steve’s got you covered. The lucky winner of today’s contest will receive a Steve’s Club Samplers Pack ($29.99), a Seasonal Sampler Pack ($28.99), and five Grass-Fed PaleoStix ($27.50).

Bonus #1: Use promo code paleomda for a 10% discount good through September 22nd.

Bonus #2: Your Purchase Changes Lives

In 2007, Steve was teaching CrossFit to a group of kids in the impoverished and crime-ridden city of Camden, NJ. He wanted to give them a healthier alternative to the school lunches and improve their nutrition.

Steve put together the first “PaleoKit” in his kitchen – a mix of jerky, nuts and berries, and began giving them out the kids. As a fundraiser for Steve’s Club athletes, he started selling these PaleoKits online. They quickly became a hit in the CrossFit community, and are now sold in Affiliates across the country.

Proceeds from PaleoKits and our other PaleoGoods continue to support the mission of training at-risk kids. Steve’s Club is now a National Program and partners with CrossFit Affiliates and trainers in cities nationwide to start similar Local Clubs in their communities.

The Contest:

In December, when Primal Blueprint Healthy Sauces, Dressings and Toppings is released, I will be offering a number of cool incentives to order one more copies for yourself and your friends. (It will be the perfect holiday gift!) One of those incentives, for those who buy 3 or more, is a Grok Apron (pictured). It’s been requested for ages, and it’s nearly here. The question is, what should the apron say? The Worker Bees and I have thrown around a few ideas, but I’m sure the creative bunch that you are can come up with something even better. This is the kind of thing we’re looking for:

“Praise the Lard!”

“No Grain. No Pain.”

“Kiss the Grok”

Be creative. Be witty. Be original. And keep it short and sweet. Come up with something you’d like to wear on a Primal/Grok apron, and if the Worker Bees and I select your slogan as the winner you’ll be receiving nearly $100 worth of grass-fed goodness.

Submit your one-liners in the comment board below and you’ll be entered to win. Each one-liner counts as a separate entry. Five entries per person are allowed.

The Deadline:

September 17, midnight, PDT.

Who is Eligible:

Any U.S. resident. Sorry worldwide readers. Most countries prohibit import of meat products.

How a Winner is Chosen:

The Worker Bees and I will choose a winner.

To track all the contests visit the 2012 Primal Blueprint 21-Day Challenge Contest Page for daily updates.

About the Author

Mark Sisson is the founder of Mark’s Daily Apple, godfather to the Primal food and lifestyle movement, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Keto Reset Diet. His latest book is Keto for Life, where he discusses how he combines the keto diet with a Primal lifestyle for optimal health and longevity. Mark is the author of numerous other books as well, including The Primal Blueprint, which was credited with turbocharging the growth of the primal/paleo movement back in 2009. After spending three decades researching and educating folks on why food is the key component to achieving and maintaining optimal wellness, Mark launched Primal Kitchen, a real-food company that creates Primal/paleo, keto, and Whole30-friendly kitchen staples.

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698 thoughts on “Contest: Name That Apron”

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  1. I know I’m not eligible for the prize, but how about “Live long, eat well”?

  2. I’m not eligible either, but i would suggest “may the Grock be with you”..
    this way you appeal to an audience that are not famous for their healthy food choices (you can trust me on this hehe :))

  3. What about:

    “Real Food Is Not a Spectator Sport”


    “Gimme that Cave-Time Cookin'”


  4. How about “Primal Prodigy” or “Primal Prodigy in da house!” …. perhaps “Primal Princess” for a pink version 🙂

  5. Just add bacon.

    Eat meat.

    Weekend Hunter.

    May the meat be with you.

  6. Grok’s Smock

    Grill make fire

    Eat Clean, Stay Clean

    Meat fast, Grok Faster

  7. Personally, I love “Praise the Lard!” and “No Grain No Pain.” I would buy either of these. Probably the Lard would win.

  8. Unparallelled Ape-paral

    Blood-Splatter Catcher

    Don’t make me cook you too

  9. No PUFA for you!

    What would Grok do?

    Kill. Cook. Eat.

    Fat Master

    No grains? No problem.

  10. Grok Feast
    Primal Master Chef
    Cooking by Grok
    Primal for the health of it!

    1. I like this one because it matches the mood of the graphic image above. Maybe Mark could have 2 or three tag lines on different aprons.

  11. Primal Chef
    Cook Primal, Eat Well
    Thriving on Primal
    The Galloping Grok
    Meatza! Meatza!

  12. Get your Grok on!
    Grok Master
    Party on Grok!
    Primal Warrior at your service






  14. Bon ancestral appétit!

    I also like:

    May the Grok be with you.

  15. Eat Fat. Get Lean.

    Smokin’ Hot Grill, Smokin’ Hot Body.

    Eat Right, Love Life.

    Cook Some Bones With That Meat!

    You Call It Primal, I Call It Living.

  16. You can’t spell MEAT without ME and EAT.

    Live grain-free or die.

    It’s ready when it’s dead.

    Not now, I’m in a meating.

    Grok: Sucking the marrow out of life’s bones since 250,000 BC.

  17. Meat Madness

    Got Meat?

    Lean, Mean, Primal Machine

    Who says fat is bad?

    Grass-fed Love

  18. Meat me for dinner

    Let’s meat up for dinner

    My meat’s so rare, you’ve never heard of it

    Save your kisses for the steak

  19. haha grok with his chef hat on, thats great. i’d like one that said I support the three basic good groups with a picture of meat and fish, variety of veggies, and fats like a bottle of olive oil and an avocado 🙂

  20. 1) Kiss my Grass

    2) Primal Cooking: Better than sliced bread.

    3) Would rather be at 250,000 B.C

    4) My day job is a hunter-gatherer.

    5) Just a spoonful of fat, makes the veggies go down!

  21. Great idea, would love a Grok apron!
    Grokalious Primal
    Grilling Gone Grok!
    MDA, Grok & Me!
    Cookin’ Grok Rocks!
    Bring Home the Bacon!

  22. Lard of the beasts.

    Grain is not an option.

    I can resist everything except bacon.

    One man’s bread is another man’s poison.

    The Primal Prescription: Bacon.

  23. Eat Green Get Lean

    Eatin Fat is where its at

    Cookin meat is pretty sweet

  24. Lift. Sprint. Eat. Repeat.

    Grok: The Primal Grillmaster

    Trust me, I’m Primal

    “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”

  25. No fat, no eat

    Real cavemen eat fat

    Healthy meals since 2 million bc

    Kill something and cook it

    Barefoot and in the kitchen

  26. Love to Live!

    Grok me!

    Primal to the bone!

    Grok’s the word!

    Grok in action!

    Though I know I don’t qualify, but I had to send them! 😀

  27. From Belgium, so not eligible, but what the hell 🙂

    Got Meat?
    Pretty Meat, With A Berry On Top
    Grokkin’ Delicious
    Will Cook For A Piece Of Meat
    Primal Directive: Eat Plants & Animals
    Sleep Eat Play
    Eat Like A Grok Star

  28. Grass fed goes to the head

    Beast not Yeast

    just spear it

    meat head

    I eat animal fat

    I do it with the skin ON

    Fat Burning Beast

    B.Y.O.B (bring your own beast)

    I suck the bones

  29. “If the cave is Grokkin…”

    or maybe “This cave is Grokkin”

  30. I can’t remember if I have five entries yet, but this one is also worth mentioning… “We will Grok you!”

  31. “Real food is good!”

    “Cook fresh.”

    “Real food, Real life.”

    “Eat real.”

    “Cook against the grain.”

  32. Does this apron match my vffs?

    Against the grain

    Master of the grok pot

    Don’t eschew fat, chew fat!

    A steak a day keeps the doctor away

  33. Maybe there could be a men’s and a women’s version:

    3. I’m only wearing this apron so the women don’t faint.

  34. Bacon by the fire with Grok

    Cook for hire, bacon required

    In The Kitchen with Grok

  35. “Eat Fat or Be Fat”

    “Fat Burning Beast”

    “Let Me Grok Your Wok”

  36. G.ray matter using,
    O.riginal food eating,
    R.est and balanced
    K.inetic living


    G.ray matter using
    O.riginal food eating
    K.inetic balance

    1. Naked Chef

      (in honor of Mark’s and our desire to look good naked, which we all can do eating primal)

  37. I’m primal. Deal with it.

    No meat, no deal.

    Eat clean, not lean. Eat meat, not sweet.

    Grok wishes he had my abs.

    Fat fuels fit

  38. “Fat is back” – not a US citizen but thought I’d share my idea anyway






  40. Good luck picking a winner, there are some great one’s here. Lots of laughs.

  41. “Can you smell what the Grok is cookin?”

    “Passion for Paleo”

  42. Got Primal?

    Primal Blueprint – Building the Best You

    Primal Blueprint – Live long, Be Happy

    Primal Blueprint – So easy Grok did it

  43. Can’t resist —


    Primal: eat well, look good naked

    Don’t ask what the meat is.

    Don’t ask what the meat is. Just eat it.

  44. Get Your Primal On!
    Bacon….The forgotten spice
    Too Bad, So not SAD
    MEAT – The Staff of Life!
    ’round here we do it Primal

  45. Grass-fed beef fat rules!
    The Definitive Apron for Primal Cooking
    Hello my name is Grok, Ask me how I can help you change your life
    Meat – The Breakfast of Champions for 250,000 Years!

  46. Beef?Cake?

    I’m with grok –>

    Can’t beat the meat 😉

  47. Vegetarians and Vegans Beware!
    I’m an omnivour!

    If you are fat, you get eaten!

    No Gas, Free Range, Fat Burner.

    ONE WAY:
    Grok’s Way!

  48. Be Careful. If you are a good fat, you get cooked!

    Comfort Food, Before AND After.

  49. Not fad, grass fed!

    Life is NOT short, eat slowly!

    Healing grilling.

  50. I’m a Canadian based in Hong Kong, but this contest looked like fun, so what the hey.

    1. I Apologize If You Find My Cooking Beastly.

    2. I Cook With Heart…LITERALLY

    3. Lean Green Primal Machine

    4. My Other Apron is Made of Deerskin

    5. Chow On Fat

  51. Eat from the Earth, not the box.

    It’s a LIFESTYLE not a Diet!

    We the people of Primal..with a photo of world and a spear.

    Fight obesity with FAT

    Primal Party Animal

    Bacon Kisses

  52. All the forks were in the dishwasher,
    All my clothes were in the washing machine
    and I was out of spaghetti

  53. I had to get this new apron, for some reason people are intimidated by animal skins…

  54. Paleo Express! I shout it at my husband as I hand him his lunch for work 🙂

  55. I’m a big crock pot cooker, so I would live to see “Grok out with your Crock out!”

  56. ” grok appetit ” for the grok chef and run for fun for the original grok… Ps i do not apply for prize…ciao!

  57. “Eating primal since 18,000 BCE. ”

    Obviously the date is changeable to something more accurate. Just got that from a quick search on Wikipedia.

    1. Looks like we posted that at the same time. Great minds, as they say.

  58. Perhaps not exactly primal, but my dad used to always say:
    “Everything good is better with butter”

    1. My father in-law likes to say that “anything worth having is a pain in the ass”. How about saying “Anything worth eating first ate the grass!”

  59. 1. Gone Primal

    2. Go Primal

    3. Cavemen Do It Better

    4. Doin it Primal since (2 million?) BC

    5. Primal Chef Crossing

  60. No buns. No wheat. Gimme Bacon and Meat.


    Bacon over Buns.

  61. “Give me Liver or give me Death!”

    apologies – used wrong email on previous post.

  62. 1: Chef Primitive Man
    2: Meats a cookin’ Grok good lookin’
    3: Meat Eater, Not from a Feeder
    4: Oh yee Meat, So Savory yet Sweet
    5: The Meat Magician

  63. Makin’ Bacon and Eatin’ Meat
    Grok ‘n Grill
    Go Primal or Go Home
    Grok Is My BFF (Beef Fed Friend)
    Meat…Food Of The Groks

  64. “Cookin’ with Grok”, “Just Grok It”, Cookin’ Old School

  65. The following in a list format with boxes next to them (to be checked):

    (sleep and play checked)

  66. How about “Grok On” or “Eat Meat” or “Grockin'” or “Hold the Carbs” or “Lard A**”


    (as a side note, when your vegetarian mother in law asks if you, too, are a vegetarian, the response “Oh no, I’m a carnivore,” makes for awkward silence afterwards!)

  68. Grok Master

    Iron Grok

    Danger: Grok Cooking

    Grok On!

    Live Grok and Prosper

  69. I didn’t claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat bread!

  70. How about
    ‘Cookin’ with(out) gas’

    and underneath it could say ‘Grain free beast’

    ‘Cause anyone who cuts out grains and then tries it again knows there’s going to be one HELLUVA grumble in that stomach later 😀

  71. Oh, I have another one!

    How about.. ‘Achin’ for bakin’
    with a picture of crispy bacon underneath it!

    Mmm bacon.

  72. Wow, lots of tough lines to beat. Here go my entries:

    1) The apron’s just for looks -I’d eat it raw.

    2) Stand back, I Grok this.

    3) This was me earlier. (with a curved arrow pointing to the non-chef image of Grok)

    4) My meat will Grok your world.

    5) Offal meal? Compliments of yours primally.

  73. -Hunter/Gatherer at work!

    -Meat eater since 400,000 B.C.

    -Primal Kitchen
    EST. 400,000 B.C.

    -Plant and Animal Cooker

    …That’s all I got. The 400,000 B.C. can be changed to whatever is a more accurate estimate of the earliest humans; that was just according to Professor Avi Gopher from remains found on December 27, 2010 in Israel published in TIME… I hope that’s enough citing.

  74. Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Kill the pig! Bash him in!


    Kill the Pig! Sear his Flesh!

  75. Hunted. Gathered. Served.

    Thinner is served.

    If you can’t stand the meat, get out of the kitchen.

  76. Provider.

    Grokkin it old school.

    The Primal Blueprint: est. 500,000 BC.

    Gluten is whack.

    Follow your Evolution.

  77. 1. Spear Today, Grill Tomorrow
    2. Who’s Your Caveman?
    3. Who Ordered The Grok Special?
    4. Culinary Caveman
    5. I Love Primal

  78. PETA:
    Primals Eating Tasty Animals

    Sorry, this has probably been used elsewhere.

  79. 1. “Meat the Beast”
    2. “Keep on Grocking in the free world”

  80. YUM!

    How do you like your meat?

    I’ll take mine Primal

    I don’t need tha fake abs apron

    Primal cook

  81. Eat real food

    Fearlessly eating real food

    Nom Nom Nom … bacon!

    Stop the wheat! Eat the meat!

  82. 3. “My name is kid – Grock!” (for juniors)
    4. “Would you like to taste my bacon?”

  83. I always thought the apron slogan, “Bacon: The Cereal Killer” was a perfect primal name, but it’s already taken…

    My Submission: Primalicious 🙂

  84. Can you smell what The Grok is cooking?

    Fast food? Run faster.

    Caution: Primal Instincts

    Let’s party like it’s 19,999 BP

    May all your fats be saturated.

  85. Eat Happy Meat

    Well, Butter my Bacon!

    Eat well and Prosper

    So Grok we all

  86. “I look good naked under this.”

    “Kiss the Grok”


    “PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals”

    “I heart meat (and other offal).”

  87. Show me the MEAT!
    Underneathe this Apron is 100% certified prime BEEF!
    Hard GROC Cafe.
    “Where’s the MEAT?”

    and just for us enlightened ones ( LOL)
    Groc + Fire = the Dawn of Civilization
    Fire + Meat = Enlightenment

  88. Lift To View Grok Hard Abs

    You say “Neanderthal” like it’s a bad thing

    Giving In To My Primal Urges

    Grokiensis Primalus–Educated Man

  89. I’m not from the US, but here’s the first to that come to mind anyway:

    “Beef me up Scotty”
    “Made with blood, suet and tears” or something to that effect

  90. “I am what I eat! Primal.”

    “Health is hunger-free”

    “Trust real food”

    “Salad doesn’t mean lettuce”

    “Sleep, eat, play (cook).”

  91. 1. Keep calm, eat butter
    2. Throw me a bone
    3. Eat, play, love
    4. Eat, prey, love

  92. “rock out with your grok out!” or “grok out with your…” you get the idea…

  93. “ask me about my wod!”

    “you had me at bacon…”

    “eat. grok. love.”

  94. 1. “Hunt, Gather, Eat, Repeat”
    2. “An apple a day… or just eat bacon!”
    3. “Coed Naked Primal (food)”
    4. “Under this apron I LGN* (*see”
    5. “Add more butter!”

  95. 1. Don’t Grain on My Primal Parade

    2. Livin’ Lard and Keeping it Real

    3. It’s My Kitchen and I’ll Fry If I Want to

    4. Franken-Food Free Zone

    5. Stick a fork in it. No, seriously. It’s still moving.

  96. Life is short, eat bacon first!

    Grok: Great rations of kohlrabi

    Cook like your life depends on it!

    Play often. Laugh always. Eat well.

    You were expecting dinner? Sorry, it’s an IF day.

  97. Not eligible but i vote for:

    meat is murder.
    tasty, tasty murder.

  98. 1. Kickin’ it caveman-style.

    2. What feeds you?

    3. Primal driven, primal fueled.

    4. Meat- what moves me.

    5. Got beef?

  99. Feed your inner Caveman
    Feed your inner Grok
    Oh Lard!
    What you see is what you get

  100. I know I missed the deadline, but I don’t care so much about winning anyways. Two phrases that I’d definitely buy if it was on an apron:

    “Top of the Food Chain”


    “Hunt, Gather,