The Farting Sweating Wheezing Depressing Exhausting Disease-Inducing Life-Sucking So You Can Be Thin Again Medicine

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Updated on September 30, 2009

FRIENDS LET FRIENDS GET FAT

They say obesity is contagious now. (It’s all over the news.) Leading thinkers talk about idea viruses and memes in everything from marketing to sociology to DNA to evolution, so it was only a matter of time before the health industry chimed in. Obesity, we’re being told, is contagious, just like the common cold. If you spend your time with overweight people, you’re likely to “catch” obesity.

I’m not really certain what the take-away message is here. Shun fat friends? I can’t decide if this is a case of Captain Obvious – no kidding we’re like the people we spend time with – or if it’s a cop-out for taking personal responsibility. And as a fellow Angeleno said, since we now face such high rates of second-hand obesity, we’re just a city council vote away from “obese” and “thin” sections in restaurants. Can I sue if I get fat because my friends have “caught” obesity?

To wit: the Nyquil solution to obesity.

I can envision the commercials now. Our bulbous buddy tosses and turns all night, but darn it all, that stomach roll just won’t allow for proper sleeping comfort. Climbing a flight of stairs, our fellow infected friend wheezes in exasperation – man, I caught obesity again! There are over two hundred types of the common cold. Who knows how many types of obesity there are! With today’s busy lifestyle and hectic pace, you need to get back to your life, and finding a new circle of friends is just too time-consuming. We understand. Fortunately, there’s a soothing medication available to you at the corner drugstore.

Obesiquid. For all your panting, heaving, tossing, turning, draining, depressing, exhausting, so-you-can-get-thin-again needs.

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About the Author

Mark Sisson is the founder of Mark’s Daily Apple, godfather to the Primal food and lifestyle movement, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Keto Reset Diet. His latest book is Keto for Life, where he discusses how he combines the keto diet with a Primal lifestyle for optimal health and longevity. Mark is the author of numerous other books as well, including The Primal Blueprint, which was credited with turbocharging the growth of the primal/paleo movement back in 2009. After spending three decades researching and educating folks on why food is the key component to achieving and maintaining optimal wellness, Mark launched Primal Kitchen, a real-food company that creates Primal/paleo, keto, and Whole30-friendly kitchen staples.