The Farting Sweating Wheezing Depressing Exhausting Disease-Inducing Life-Sucking So You Can Be Thin Again Medicine


They say obesity is contagious now. (It’s all over the news.) Leading thinkers talk about idea viruses and memes in everything from marketing to sociology to DNA to evolution, so it was only a matter of time before the health industry chimed in. Obesity, we’re being told, is contagious, just like the common cold. If you spend your time with overweight people, you’re likely to “catch” obesity.

I’m not really certain what the take-away message is here. Shun fat friends? I can’t decide if this is a case of Captain Obvious – no kidding we’re like the people we spend time with – or if it’s a cop-out for taking personal responsibility. And as a fellow Angeleno said, since we now face such high rates of second-hand obesity, we’re just a city council vote away from “obese” and “thin” sections in restaurants. Can I sue if I get fat because my friends have “caught” obesity?

To wit: the Nyquil solution to obesity.

I can envision the commercials now. Our bulbous buddy tosses and turns all night, but darn it all, that stomach roll just won’t allow for proper sleeping comfort. Climbing a flight of stairs, our fellow infected friend wheezes in exasperation – man, I caught obesity again! There are over two hundred types of the common cold. Who knows how many types of obesity there are! With today’s busy lifestyle and hectic pace, you need to get back to your life, and finding a new circle of friends is just too time-consuming. We understand. Fortunately, there’s a soothing medication available to you at the corner drugstore.

Obesiquid. For all your panting, heaving, tossing, turning, draining, depressing, exhausting, so-you-can-get-thin-again needs.

That's like, so messed up, dude.

Further reading:

Most Popular Posts

Subscribe to Mark’s Daily Apple feeds

TAGS:  humor, Hype

About the Author

Mark Sisson is the founder of Mark’s Daily Apple, godfather to the Primal food and lifestyle movement, and the New York Times bestselling author of The Keto Reset Diet. His latest book is Keto for Life, where he discusses how he combines the keto diet with a Primal lifestyle for optimal health and longevity. Mark is the author of numerous other books as well, including The Primal Blueprint, which was credited with turbocharging the growth of the primal/paleo movement back in 2009. After spending three decades researching and educating folks on why food is the key component to achieving and maintaining optimal wellness, Mark launched Primal Kitchen, a real-food company that creates Primal/paleo, keto, and Whole30-friendly kitchen staples.

If you'd like to add an avatar to all of your comments click here!

10 thoughts on “The Farting Sweating Wheezing Depressing Exhausting Disease-Inducing Life-Sucking So You Can Be Thin Again Medicine”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. That’s what happened to me, alright. Obese aliens abducted me in their Giant Deep-Fried Twinkie Space Ship and performed experiments and transfusions. They used replacement pods on friends and family members. Now, I too, am Obese.

    Even though I am now trying to recover my primal roots by eating properly, taking supplements, and exercising; I am as ostracized like my brethren, smokers, to small, outlined, eating/smoking zones at restaurants and bars. Ridiculed and stereotyped by the Main Stream Media and members-in-good-standing of the Paris Hilton/Nicole Ritchie/Lindsey Lohan clans.

  2. Obesity is contagious if you give into pure pressure. If I hang around smart people, am I going to catch it? Maybe…

  3. I am quite the opposite. I am a member in good standing of the Paris/Nicole Ritchie/Lindsay Lohan clan, and I have taken on the burden of gaining an extra 400 pounds so my group of friends is collectively the correct, healthy weight.

  4. Let’s get one thing straight. Fat mice are sad. Unless it’s a buddy mouse who gets all the good quips.

  5. Idea viruses? This is truly a scary thought. It was once thought that pure laziness was the cause of obesity. I think we can see now that so many things contribute to obesity. Not withstanding hereditary factors as well as lifestyle choices.

  6. “CATCH” Obesity??? Don’t catch it, let it fly on by! …L.O.L.

  7. Stone Address,paper air clean beat manage percent sentence base note late educational star observation yes either display unit united double along impose train her length onto cash value lay degree contract before paper region block newspaper right slow county position content plus care enterprise breath ball affect ring council control industrial instance scheme still joint point route who this lie serve experience round inside match down her charge wait can leaf assembly award bring every whose consequence than flight therefore weapon star strength material well customer impose properly explore last historical railway restaurant me