The Tuesday 10:

This Tuesday’s 10 serves up a tempting buffet of unusual and useful health nibbles. Guaranteed to be at least as entertaining as a heat lamp and definitely more interesting than a pan of reconstituted potato flake crests rising from lakes of Yellow No. 5 “butter”.

10. Peter Pan may have to grow up and face the salmonella, but it’s just as well, because now there’s an excellent alternative: Omega-3 peanut butter. That’s right – peanut butter, the all-American food spread which is neither nut nor butter, is now enhanced with heart-healthy Omega-3 fatty acids.

(And it’s true: the peanut is more pea than nut – it’s a legume. Also, we think it’s time for a new cardiovascular-benefit phrase, because “heart-healthy” is just so tired. Cardio-caring? Artery-amor? Oh, fine…)

9. According to these genii, sugar does not have any relationship to type 2 diabetes. You see, that’s just a silly myth that foolish people used to believe. In fact, according to the experts at the American Diabetes Association, no one is sure what exactly causes type 2 diabetes.

All we know is that the liver can’t handle sugar a certain substance sometimes so the pancreas has to pump out insulin to manage the blood sugar and when this happens too much over a prolonged period of time from eating sugar unknown causes, the entire system gets worn out and, interestingly, you get diabetes. It’s a very mysterious mechanism, this liver-pancreas-blood thing. There may be some association. But it definitely has nothing to do with sugar.

(Note: this information was brought to you by the ADA, the same progressive association which sent out Christmas cards in 2006 that were plastered with images of candy canes. So obviously sugar has nothing to do with diabetes.)

8. What beef broth and beef flavoring are typically made from. Warning: this does take all the fun out of ramen. And with all we know about refined starch and trans fat, this couldn’t come at a worse time for noodles.

7. The weirdest disease you’ve ever heard of. (After #8, we figure you need a break.)

6. What’s as big as a football and hangs out below your ribs? No, not your belly (we hope). This important guy. Give him love.

5. Happy cows? Not only is a picture worth a thousand words, it’s worth some clickativity. This is a very well-written, thoughtful dairy piece that comes out in favor of Big Moo. Some further investigation into the studies reveals Blunder Tonic bias, but since we promised to give da-iry and mad cows a rest, we’ll let it slide…for now. This link is merely to draw attention to food production circa 2007.

4. Crazy fact: If you actually read through that dairy article, you’ll learn there are about 9 million dairy cows in this country. And all of them are the spawn of only a couple of bulls. Incest jokes aside, isn’t it wacky that 300 million+ people are drinking/chewing/DiGiorning the reproductive fluid of animals with identical fathers (and therefore genetic history)? We really are all connected.

Just chew on that one for a minute.

3. Mark’s been griping about the Cheesecake Factory’s one-pound slices of cake and Chili’s 2,700-calorie onion appetizer for months. Finally, a group decides that burritos as big as shoes might be a problem deserving of a little heads-up.

While we’re on the subject, what kind of a name is “Cheesecake Factory”? Why does it work? Unhealthy item + Unhealthy item + Mass-production structure? “Lardsugar Turbine” would never fly, but then, neither would “Vitaminarugula Wok”.

2. Ridiculous item of the day:

Don’t worry, obesity is no big deal.

1. Is your brain happy?

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