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Let me introduce myself. My name is Mark Sisson. I’m 63 years young. I live and work in Malibu, California. In a past life I was a professional marathoner and triathlete. Now my life goal is to help 100 million people get healthy. I started this blog in 2006 to empower people to take full responsibility for their own health and enjoyment of life by investigating, discussing, and critically rethinking everything we’ve assumed to be true about health and wellness...

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March 12, 2010

Yogurt Mania

By Mark Sisson
220 Comments

How did we survive all these years without functional yogurt products? If it weren’t for Yoplait and Dannon enhancing our digestive facilities, I bet we’d never get anything done in the bathroom. I, for one, can’t recall the last time I had a satisfying bowel movement without concurrently sucking on an extra large Purple Gogurt as I sat astride the toilet.

Yoplait and Dannon are responsible for injecting more culture into our lives than Warhol, The Smithsonian, The New Yorker, and ancient Athens combined. I love the way those two superpowers ultra-pasteurize their yogurt so as to rid it of any naturally-occurring, unpredictable, rogue probiotic cultures (unfettered bacterial growth? – no thanks) before supplanting them with nice, orderly probiotic cultures (and not too much of them, thanks). Mother nature? Natural selection? Ha! As if natural foods could improve my immunity and digestive health better than multi-national corporations. You think sauerkraut has your best interests in mind?

There are downsides to the addiction, though. And it is an addiction. Make no mistake about that. The cravings can hit me hard, fast, and without warning. My blood sugar drops, my knees weaken. Visions of Danimals dance about my tormented psyche, laughing and pointing and beckoning. Normally, I rush to the nearest grocer, head straight to the healthy dairy section, and thrust my probing tongue through the foil seal and into the soothing bath of HFCS, whipped skim froth, carrageenan, and single-file probiotic formations. Normally, all is well, but I’m not always within range of a Dannon/Yoplait distributor. Like last week.

I was driving through LA, just south of Hollywood, when I got the cravings. It wasn’t pretty, and my options were extremely limited. Check cashing places and carnicerias abounded, but there were no grocery stores. I needed my Activia, and I needed it immediately. My wild eyes betrayed my intent; even the fidgeting methamphetamine enthusiast (with whom I sensed a strange sort of community) gave a wide berth. Next thing I knew, I was across the street, apparently having successfully navigated traffic. A Greek market lay before me, a small, unassuming ethnic grocer full of olive oils, labna and mediocre red wine. I entered, approached the counter, and inquired as to their yogurt selection. Greeks are supposed to make yogurt, right? (In the Yoplait online forums, the “Upcoming Product rumors” thread made mention of a “non-fat, Greek-style yogurt coming soon,” so I knew there was some precedent.) They did, and the clerk produced a small nondescript tub of white yogurt, which I immediately purchased. Don’t worry – I made sure to ask if it was low-fat. The clerk, a stout man with an impressive white mustache, just laughed off my silly question. What was I thinking? No one makes full-fat (ugh, the thought just makes me sick) yogurt, I told myself. He was right to laugh at me.

So I popped the top and grabbed a spoon. It smelled pretty sour, and it didn’t even smell like vanilla (but what other flavor could white yogurt be?), but I was desperate. I was about to take a massive spoonful of the stuff when, luckily, the clerk chimed in once again.

“Best yogurt in all of Los Angeles! It’s made from raw sheep and cow milk in Greece, then shipped directly to us! You will like!” I just looked at his bristly ‘stache.

Raw milk? This stuff wasn’t ultra-pasteurized. It was probably teeming with barbarian hordes of probiotic cultures. Ferocious little milky versions of Gauls, Thracians, Ostro-goths, and Visi-goths running rampant over the pristine splendor of Rome, with Yoplait Caesar’s mighty praetorian guard nowhere to be found. I was at an impasse. I needed yogurt in my body, but I didn’t want to face the uncertainty of consuming rogue probiotic cultures. What was I to do?!

Then I remembered my recent pharmacy pick-up: antibiotics. (I’d gone in for a nasty cold; the doctor really didn’t want to write the prescription, citing some nonsense about the cold being a virus and therefore unaffected by antibiotics, but I just slipped him my favorite malpractice lawyer’s card, and he got the idea). I figured antibiotics could counteract the nasty probiotics in the dangerous Greek yogurt, so I tossed a handful of pills down on the counter, crushed them with my Purell aerosol canister, and immediately insufflated the powder. Once I could feel the tell-tale signs of antibiotic powder penetrating my nasal membrane and reaching my blood stream, I tossed down the yogurt. I distinctively heard several dozen death knells signifying the probiotic cultures’ complete assimilation into my body. Sure, it may not technically be assimilation if they’re dead, but this ain’t no melting pot.

This definitely wasn’t vanilla. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they forgot to add the flavoring. But, I’ve gotta say – it was the best damn non-fat yogurt I’ve ever had. It was so rich, so creamy, and so filling. I’ve never had a full-fat item in my life – I avoid direct eye-contact with cartons of whole milk and I’ll spend as long as it takes to whip enough air into skim milk to get it to stand up on its own and solidify into cream (1:1:1 ratio of skim milk to powdered sugar to cornstarch) – but if they taste as good as this yogurt did, I think I understand why people are willing to risk obesity, heart disease, and diabetes just for a shot of half-and-half in the morning coffee…

In case it isn’t abundantly clear to my regular readers (or if you’re new here and your worried about my sanity) I’m just having a little fun with this article. Functional yogurt fans may not be quite that crazy, but you wouldn’t know it by the sales figures of these probiotic-enhanced brands of sugar slurry. They’re billed as the healthiest, simplest choice for people on the go, growing children, women interested in slimming down, and folks with digestive troubles. The kids love it because it’s got funny cartoons on the carton and it’s loaded with sugar. Hell, everyone loves the sugar. And because it’s “healthy,” low-fat, and “packed with probiotics,” people don’t feel bad slurping down all the sugar.

It’s nonsense, people. Probiotics are indeed healthy and helpful members of any digestive system, and consuming them in supplement or fermented food form is a good move with many potential benefits, but wasting your money on fortified processed food (food should never require “fortification”) and its obscene packaging and advertising campaign is silly. Those probiotic-enchanced sugary yogurts are stripped of their natural bacteria via pasteurization. Even the “natural” full-fat yogurts, however delicious they are and whatever other benefits they confer, are usually pasteurized with probiotic cultures added afterward. There’s nothing magical about Yoplait or Dannon.

Regular yogurt has probiotics, too. The clinical doses of probiotics – the amounts that have shown promise in trials – are far higher than anything you’ll get in a tiny 80 calorie container of Key Lime Yoplait yogurt. I’m talking at least 20 billion cfu (colony forming units). If you want the real benefits of probiotics, make fermented foods a regular part of your daily diet. Eat sauerkraut, kimchee, full-fat Greek yogurt (Fage is a good one, or look for a local Greek market), or kefir (if you tolerate dairy). Naturally fermented foods will have good levels of bacteria. You may not get a label listing all the strains, but you’ll know that they’re the same probiotics people have been consuming for thousands of years. Obtaining probiotics this way is generally safe, but if you want a bit more precision, a good supplement will have a label listing the specific strains (and in greater numbers). I regularly use this method for a number of reasons: for its convenience, because I don’t generally do dairy, and to ensure I’m getting precise amounts of certain strains in my system. As my upcoming Primal Flora supplement (30 billion cfu) nears release, I’ll discuss this more at length. Whatever you do, just don’t rely on sugar-filled functional yogurt products to get your probiotics.

What about you guys? Any ridiculous yogurt hyperbole sightings in the wild? Share in the comments section.

TAGS:  humor, marketing

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220 Comments on "Yogurt Mania"

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Dozer
Dozer
6 years 6 months ago

I love The Greek Gods plain Greek Yogurt. It is fantastic and I have to beat the kids away to have it last for more than a day.

emily
6 years 6 months ago

i did like this one ok, but THEY use stabilizers like carnageen and guar, whereas fage does not.

AlyieCat
AlyieCat
6 years 6 months ago

Carageen is a stabilizer made from seaweed. I do not find it objectionable.

emily
6 years 6 months ago

its not toxic, but it is cheap, and good yogurt doesnt need anything but cultures and milk/cream in my opinion.

Elisabeth
Elisabeth
3 years 4 months ago

carrageenan gives me a headache. i’ve read it has msg in it. i’m very sensitive to msg. actually all gums give me a headache.

elizabeth
elizabeth
6 years 6 months ago

I happen to have this one in my fridge and just checked the ingredient list. It just said “Pasteurized Grade A Milk, Cream, Pectin” (and then the cultures).

Is that not something they report in ingredients?

emily
6 years 6 months ago

my bad, its pectin, which is not toxic either, but is a filler/stabilizer. i just think it is cheap and good yogurt doesnt need this.

elizabeth
elizabeth
6 years 6 months ago

I fully enjoy pectin in my home-made jams. 🙂

Chris
Chris
4 years 6 months ago

Pectin is a prebiotic. That is good.

jo
jo
4 years 4 months ago
Mine too -organic milk ingredients in various forms,pectin (the fiber) and the bacteria.It is certainly not cheap in Canada. One of the more costly in fact. Also one of the few that actually has “any” fiber(pectin).( 1 g/serving)reducing the net carbs compared overall to other brands/serving. It has very low count compared to other plain yogurts. I only eat high fat yogurt of 6% fat or more.>>>>>>Pectin is a natural fibre found in plant cell walls and most concentrated in the skin of fruits. It is water-soluble and binds with sugar and fruit acid to form a gel.<<< It is… Read more »
Gabe
Gabe
3 years 9 months ago

Btw, they cannot use fillers and emulsifiers in probiotic yogurt such as activia (hence the smaller format) because it kills the good probiotic bacterias…

Rebecca
Rebecca
3 years 6 months ago

I like Fage too, but since they make a 0% fat yogurt you can’t hardly find the full fat anymore.

gibson
gibson
3 years 5 months ago

I have only one source in my town for Fage full fat. It’s scarce, but it’s the only kind I buy.

Rachel M
3 years 4 months ago

“Full Fat” Fage no longer exists. They kept the label the same, but they cut the fat content in half (from 20 grams to 10 grams) sometime in 2012. So all Fage products, no matter what they say on the label, are low or no fat. Voskos is the only mass produced full fat, real Greek Yogurt the typical American might, if they are lucky, have access to. But despite being a 5 billion dollar industry, most Americans have access to not a single real, full fat Greek Yogurt. Sad.

chris
chris
3 years 8 months ago

What about Nancy’s organic live yogurt. It lists the specific probiotics and count and has no sugar is raw and tastes amazing . Would this be a safe dairy product

Jenna
6 years 6 months ago

Trader Joe’s makes a fantastic full-fat Greek yogurt too- it’s heavenly.

Todd
6 years 6 months ago

Your lucky you have a Trader Joe’s in your area. I wish there was one in Grand Rapids, MI. Thankfully I will be moving somewhat soon out of this ole town 🙂

Elizabeth
6 years 6 months ago

I will be travelling to an area with a Trader Joe’s soon an I am SO excited. I haven’t been to one in almost 3 years. My first stop? Yogurt aisle. Greek yogurt rocks.

marnee
marnee
6 years 6 months ago

Unfortunately they stopped selling the full-fat Fage at all of the TJ’s in my area months ago. And just recently they all stopped carrying the Mediterranean Cheese Yogurt — super fatty and low carb. But they still carry the lesser greek yogurt, low fat greek yogurts, and an alarming array of colorful sugary yogurts masquerading as healthy, real-food.

the bastages

Elizabeth
6 years 6 months ago

You know, my Costco carries Fage at a great deal–but it’s non-fat! I’m like, “Hello, people, do we not even get the choice?” Sure, sell the low- or non-fat for the fat-phobes out there, but please leave some of the good stuff for the rest of us that don’t fear real food!

Kelly A.
Kelly A.
6 years 6 months ago

We should all write to Costco or go to customer service and request the full fat. I’ll do it on my next visit!

SK1
SK1
6 years 6 months ago

This happened to me, too! I am so annoyed. All the stores that used to carry full fat Fage, which I love, have now started selling ONLY the 2% and the 0%. Drives me crazy.

Tara tootie
6 years 6 months ago

I find the TJs brand gritty! Dont know why… But I love about everything else they do, including GAOT MILK yogurt.

pjnoir
pjnoir
6 years 6 months ago

double check the label- it is not the real thing. It is a greek “style” I stopped buying it

oimcherry
oimcherry
3 years 1 month ago

I just discovered the TJ’s full-fat Greek yogurt too! I was looking for Fage, but they only carry the 2% and 0%. THEN, I saw the TJ’s brand. Excellent!
Some smaller specialty markets, near where I live, still carry the Fage full fat, so I guess I’m lucky to have 2 choices.

Funkadelic Flash
Funkadelic Flash
6 years 6 months ago

Haha! Loved this article, Mark. Your satire pieces always give me a good laugh. 😀

fishergirl
fishergirl
6 years 6 months ago

“Normally, I rush to the nearest grocer, head straight to the healthy dairy section, and thrust my probing tongue through the foil seal and into the soothing bath of HFCS, whipped skim froth, carrageenan, and single-file probiotic formations.”

After a brain melting calculus test, this is EXACTLY what I needed to read.
Thank you for making my day, Mark! =)

I have to agree with you though; I can’t stand how these companies will pick up on the latest health discoveries and turn them into gimmicks.
Give me sauerkraut over HFCS filled “yogurt” any day!

fireandstone
6 years 6 months ago

“I, for one, can’t recall the last time I had a satisfying bowel movement without concurrently sucking on an extra large Purple Gogurt as I sat astride the toilet.”

Ha, ha. It’s not just the yogurt market that’s being hit by the digestion “craze”. You’d think that constipation has become a national crisis if your sole source of vital information came from commercial advertisement. Between Activia, PlumSmart (people don’t like the word “prune” anymore) and a plethora of food products loaded with super-fiber, it looks like our lacking colon health has reached pandemic status.

Elenor
Elenor
3 years 11 months ago

To read up about fiber try here:
http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/fiber/a-cautionary-tale-of-mucus-fore-and-aft/

That’s Dr Mike Eades’ blog entry called: “A cautionary tale of mucus fore and aft”) — fascinating stuff!

Jeffery
6 years 6 months ago

Recently, full-fat plain greek yogurt, with half of a sliced banana, almonds, and coconut chunks took care of a full-on dessert craving threatening to break my sugar detox. It was a thing of beauty.

Lee Edwards
Lee Edwards
6 years 6 months ago

OMG that sounds good! Never thought of adding those things, but I will now!

Tara
Tara
6 years 6 months ago

Try microwaving the banana for 30-50 seconds. Makes it even better – sweeter, with a taste like banana pudding and it even creates it’s own syrup. I’m sure it makes the sugar content go up, but if I’m eating a banana in the first place, I just don’t care. ^.^

greenthings
greenthings
5 years 4 months ago

My husband and I have been having greek yogurt for dessert for a while now. We came back from Sonoma with some Dry Creek Olive Oil Company Meyer Lemon olive oil and I add about a teaspoon to my bowl of Greek Gods yogurt and 5 drops of liquid stevia. It’s HEAVEN! The oil is naturally produced by ‘crushing Meyer Lemons and California Mission olives on hammer mill’ and it gives a richness to the mouth-feel of the yogurt.

It sounds weird but I swear it’s fantastic. Plus, I’m always figuring out ways to add fat to my diet.

trackback

[…] A tongue in cheek view of yogurt, and why it’s not all it’s cracked up to […]

Timothy
6 years 6 months ago
Hahaha! You are inspired today, Mark. Your writing is more acidic than the six-month-old kefir in the back of my fridge. “I tossed a handful of pills down on the counter, crushed them with my Purell aerosol canister, and immediately insufflated the powder.” That killed me. Honestly, supermarket yogurt is a sugar delivery system in disguise. I can’t believe the amount they manage to fit into those tiny containers. Did you know the Institute of Medicine has a set of school nutrition guidelines that they want to enact all over the country? To be considered “Tier 1” (or “healthy”), a… Read more »
jamesf3i
jamesf3i
6 years 6 months ago

30 gm of sugar!?!?!? Holy moly, that is a shade over 1 ounce of sugar or 12.5% of the 8-oz serving of yogurt. Goddy mighty.

Nellie
Nellie
6 years 6 months ago

Ha! This was great! But what about miso as a fermented food?

mark rottman
mark rottman
6 years 6 months ago

I agree with Dozer. Just went to a local health food store and bought some full fat Greek God Yogurt. Fantastic stuff. Also bought some coconut milk kefir. Worst tasting stuff I have ever swallowed. A spponful of The Geek yogurt completely wiped out the bad taste. Great stuff.

emily
6 years 6 months ago

also the coconut milk kefir is soo much higher in carbs then animal milk/cream stuff.

gmi
gmi
6 years 6 months ago

i tried to gag down the coconut milk kefir & it was impossible.

Helen
Helen
6 years 6 months ago
Too funny! Those brainless Activia ads make me want to curl up and die – alongside my back-issues of Prevention magazine. Speaking of which, I wanted to share this with some folks who would appreciate it, and this seems like the place. While waiting in line at the grocery store last month, I flipped to an article on Prevention’s “healthiest food choices.” Their “healthiest choice” for milk was fat-free organic milk. The reason? Organic milk has been shown to contain more heart-healthy fatty acids, like omega-3’s and CLA. Er, do they think that they’re going to find those in fat-free… Read more »
Timothy
6 years 6 months ago

That is hilarious!

Agi
Agi
5 years 4 months ago

wow that kind of cognitive dissonance is actually kind of disturbing

Tangent
Tangent
6 years 6 months ago

Any thoughts on Chobani’s? I’m a fan, but I try to keep it for a post-workout meal or a treat because its fairly carby at 20 g (14g Protein).

Fury22
6 years 6 months ago

They make a regular yogurt without the fruit. The container is pink and white. I think it is fat free though, although I can’t remember.

emily
6 years 6 months ago

they only make low-fat that ive seen, probably why its so carby.

trackback

[…] Original post by Mark Sisson […]

DianeC
DianeC
6 years 6 months ago

The Trader Joe’s and Greek Gods stuff is OK, but if you can get your hands on some “Fage” brand, it is the best. (It’s made in New York, so it’s still not real Greek yogurt from Greece; but I’ve had the same brand from Greece and I can’t tell the difference.)

Fage is thicker and generally yummier than the others I’ve tried. The down side is, my local TJ’s randomly stopped carrying the full fat stuff, and now I can only find it at Whole Foods.

marnee
marnee
6 years 6 months ago

Get it while you can! My Whole Foods stopped carrying the full-fat Fage months ago. I cant find it anywhere. Grrrrrr.

piano-doctor-lady
piano-doctor-lady
6 years 6 months ago
Our food coop only carries non-fat or 2% fat FAGE. Depressing, knowing that the full fat would be so much better. So, I sometimes make yoghurt (though I’m off dairy at the moment.) I take the 2% FAGE for a starter — ah, but what to do? I certainly don’t want HOMOGENIZED milk, with all the fats wrecked, and I certainly want lots and lots of butterfat in the FAGE-offspring yoghurt. It’s supposed to be Greek — they like lots of butterfat! No wonder it’s so delicious. What I’ve been doing is either buy raw milk (there’s one place I… Read more »
Kelly A.
Kelly A.
6 years 6 months ago

Not only does our Whole Foods carry the full fat, they are on sale 4 for $5.00 until 3/16. I stocked up.

Greg
Greg
6 years 4 months ago

Today I discovered a use for the reduced fat and low-fat Fage tubs, which are the only ones stocked in the break room at my new place of employment, or apparently anywhere else in the entire town where I now commute to work. I just added the fat back in by adding a few teaspoons of my homemade ghee (from grassfed Kerrygold butter). Stir a few times and it blends right in. Tastes great and should restore at least some of the health benefits of the real stuff.

gmi
gmi
6 years 6 months ago

Publix has stopped carrying it too. grrrrrr

Todd
6 years 6 months ago

This article is hilarious! What a fun way to “mock” processed food companies. It is a shame what they do and it is a blessing what Mark does. Go Mark!

Erica
Erica
6 years 6 months ago

LOVED this article! I make my own full-fat yogurt and get the craziest looks from friends whenever I explain that the large white container on my counter is in fact a delicious pot of (gasp!) homemade yogurt in-the-making.
“You mean you can make yogurt? I thought only Dannon could do that!”
Thanks for spreading the word that good food doesn’t have to come in a technicolor plastic package!

Evan
Evan
6 years 6 months ago

I love yogurt. I ferment my own using whole milk and Stonyfield brand yogurt as a starter. I usually let it go for about 24 hours so there is little to no lactose left. The slightly bitter flavor gives my morning shakes a nice bite to ’em!

Tracee
6 years 6 months ago
We are yogurt-a-holics in our household, although I haven’t purchased store made in almost 2 years. For those of us with damaged gi tracts and autoimmune issues, getting good bacteria back is vaital. However, the sugar and junk in the yoplait and others isn’t going to benefit you. We make our own, it’s super easy, and when it’s fermented for 24 hours it’s almost lactose free. The lactose is broken down by the bacteria and you get a highly digestable dairy product. Yogurt made with half and half tastes identical to sour cream. Our son cannot digest lactose so I… Read more »
Dave, RN
Dave, RN
6 years 6 months ago

I’m going to California (LaMirada) tomorrow. Anyone know of any paleo friendly restaurants nearby?

fireandstone
6 years 6 months ago

Pretty much every restaurant I’ve eaten at is Paleo friendly. I’ve never been turned down when I ask to replace the pasta or potato with seasoned veggies or fruit, and only rarely has it cost extra to do it.

Suzan
6 years 6 months ago

Great post, Mark.

What people don’t realize is that if they eat yogurt with sugar, they negate all of the beneficial activity of the probiotics. Plain whole milk Greek yogurt is delicious, but home made yogurt, made from raw half and half, is sublime. Too bad I have to limit my casein…

Jeanie
Jeanie
6 years 6 months ago

I, too, make my own full-fat yogurt. Then drain the whey overnight in the fridge and it looks and tastes just like Fage. The best stuff ever! With a little bit of berries, it’s like ice cream!

Julie
Julie
6 years 6 months ago

I started reading and thought this must be a guest column, because this doesn’t sound like him at all! I’ll have to try Fage once I’m done with the eight-week paleo challenge I’m doing.

Bob S.
Bob S.
6 years 6 months ago

I try to avoid dairy, for the most part, but I do love yogurt (and Fage IS great stuff), but before discovering MDA and PB, I used to substitute soy yogurt. Now, there is a far better alternative for those who don’t or can’t consume dairy, although it costs literally twice as much:

http://www.turtlemountain.com/products/coconut_yogurt.html

Coconut Yogurt! (Cocogurt?)

Luis
Luis
6 years 6 months ago

Did you read the label ? 22g of carbs (19g sugar) per serving

pjnoir
pjnoir
6 years 6 months ago

not a good choice for diabetics- only high sugared flavors. I use a lot of coconut products but this one is not a replacement for Total Fage.

piano-doctor-lady
piano-doctor-lady
6 years 6 months ago

Just so you don’t eat any more of the damned soy. Lierre Keith’s book opened my eyes. I started wondering why it’s even legal to grow soy beans for food!

(pardon the flame …)

gmi
gmi
6 years 6 months ago

if coconut milk yogurt tastes as nasty as the coconut milk kefir, NO THANKS. this is from a person who actually LIKES coconut.

Grok is Softball!
Grok is Softball!
6 years 6 months ago

Thank you for posting this today. I really struggle with the family on their purchase of the ‘convenience packs’ of the kid’s yogurt. Forwarding this post on to help.

kennelmom
6 years 6 months ago

I started out on Chobani (the kind with the fruit already in it). Now that I’m really keeping my carbs low and have cut out sugar, my taste for sweet has declined dramatically. It was pretty easy to drop the Chobani and switch to Fage total and mix in just a handful of blueberries myself. Heck, I even like it plain! Food doesn’t have to taste like a salt lick or sugar bowl to be good…we just have to heal our palates sometimes to appreciate it.

Emily
6 years 6 months ago

Hilarous, wonderful post, Mark.

I try to limit dairy, but when I buy greek yogurt I go for Oikos because it’s the only organic brand I can find. I do find that Fage tastes a bit better, but I’d rather buy organic.

Someone mentioned Coconut Milk Kefir above and I actually wanted to ask Mark about it. I recently bought some of the original/unsweetened variety (although haven’t tried it yet) to get some dairy-free probiotics. [http://www.turtlemountain.com/products/coconut_milk_kefir.html] I know it doesn’t have the protein of a real dairy kefir, but how does it stack up otherwise? Primal enough?

Maggs
6 years 6 months ago

I’ve been making my own yogurt for a couple years, and drain some of the whey off to pickle some vegetables. Two of the easiest things to do in the kitchen.

Daniel Merk
6 years 6 months ago

http://www.sweetsurprise.com

And you think seeing Danon commercials telling you to take the 30 day Danon challenge was laughable? Try sitting through the 23second spot about 2 women pouring red liquid from a gallon jug into a kids sippie cup and telling the other woman “It’s just as natural as regular sugar.”

I threw my kettlebell at the TV last night I was so angry.

Oh, and FAGE Total is FTW! If you can find it. 2% and 0% are worthless.

pjnoir
pjnoir
6 years 6 months ago

i also see a 5% but i will not buy any and show a demand for it. Total or nothing. please people support the good stuff by not buying the fake stuff. Consumer power is all we have in the long run.

Matt
Matt
6 years 6 months ago

Fish Friday = yogurt for dinner tonight! Baked wild salmon topped with horseradish dill Fage yogurt!

Aaron Blaisdell
Aaron Blaisdell
6 years 6 months ago

I almost spit my grass-fed beef liver lunch all over my keyboard reading today’s post! My kids love FAGE total yogurt. It also makes a great smoothie base. We blend frozen wild blueberries, farmer’s market strawberries, and sometimes a banana in the food processor and then mix it into a large bowl of FAGE Total yogurt. The best dessert I can think of!

My older daughter just started drinking greek-milk kefir, too, and she loves it.

pecanmike
6 years 6 months ago

Your yogurt rage reminded me of one of my favorite books, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It cracked me up when you crushed and snorted the antibiotic. But it had to be done.

rik
rik
6 years 6 months ago

I have to ask my Samoan lawyer about that.

Andrew
Andrew
6 years 6 months ago

Very chucklesome, thanks.
We can’t get un-pasteurised stuff in Australia. It’s against the law except for a couple of kinds of cheese, I think.

It’s bizarre. We can buy cigarettes and smoke ourselves to death but we can’t buy or sell un-pasteurised milk!

What a species! A model of modern scientific, cultural and social behaviour and thought.

Cheers,
Andrew.

Bill
5 years 4 months ago

Hi Andrew

I assume you are talking about pasteurised milk from shops. Surely you can get direct from farmer’s markets?

Bill (Perth)

Samantha
Samantha
3 years 3 months ago

For any aussiea out there . . Check local organic and.coop storez ive found unpasteurized milk sold as “bath milk” . . To use for.milk baths. They cant legally sell it for consumption but all it is. Is 100% unpasteurized.cows.milk sold in bottles.like ya normal milk 😉 yum yum

Brick
Brick
6 years 6 months ago

Great Post Mark!

I have problems trying to convince my GF that the full fat stuff is the way to go. She’s too dug into CW. She is starting to eat Fage though and it is delicious. Now if i can just get her to stop putting so much darn honey in it we’ll be good to go!

Dave
Dave
6 years 6 months ago

Been making my own Kefir for over 3 years now. Takes NO time and has the same thick consistency as Fage at a fraction of the price. Great article!

romesaz
romesaz
6 years 6 months ago

I envy of you who can get real raw stuff. Unfortunately, unless something’s changed dramatically in the past year, Ontario doesn’t allow raw milk/yoghurts to be sold. There have been many farmers that have been taken to court (probably by the likes that Mark pretended to be at the beginning of the post) and have lost.
I’ve seen some cheeses, but they’re few and hard to come by at most commercial markets. even farmers markets don’t stock many if any. There’s one place I can think of that MAY have some, but it’s about an hour commute.

jamesf3i
jamesf3i
6 years 6 months ago

It drives me crazy. How many farmers, and their families, do you think are in the U.S.? In Canada? All these people drink raw milk straight from the cow. (I did back in my youthful days.) How many of them get sick from bad milk? Damned few I bet. If there was an epidemic of raw-milk sicknesses among farming families you can bet the pin-headed news media would be blaring the news. The Big Milk interests bribing the politicians are the problem.

Jack
Jack
6 years 6 months ago
Yeah, the countryside is riddled with dairy families these days. And every single one of those MILLIONS of dairy families drink raw milk. And NONE ever get sick! No, but seriously, this is one of the most logic-broken posts I’ve ever seen on teh intarweb. Your post is an embarrassssssment to Earth and all of Earth’s inhabitants. If aliens were monitoring us, they would see your post and think “There is absolutely no chance that this planet will ever pose a danger to anyone but themselves”, and then they would likely mount an intra-universal program to subsidize outfitting our planet… Read more »
maba
maba
6 years 6 months ago

“Yoplait and Dannon are responsible for injecting more culture into our lives than Warhol, The Smithsonian, The New Yorker, and ancient Athens combined.”

ROFL!

I just made a big batch of yoghurt with raw milk and used Fage full-fat yoghurt as starter. I would have liked to use “Brown Cow” starter, which has a nice tang to it but I’d run out it. The raw milk yoghurt turned out great.

Emily
6 years 6 months ago

A question for anyone who has made their own yogurt: Yogurt-making requires heating milk, correct? So does this mean raw milk still stays technically “raw,” with all the healthy bacteria intact?

Erin
Erin
6 years 6 months ago

You can get “countertop ” yogurt cultures where you literally leave the milk on the counter and don’t heat it. This will preserve the enzymes. Even the heated kind can be done at 110º, which leaves most of the enzymes intact. Cultures for Health had lots of fun looking starters:
http://www.culturesforhealth.com/Yogurt-Starter-c2/

Sophie
Sophie
6 years 6 months ago
I have had this same question. I’m not sure I have the full answer, but here’s what I’ve figured out so far. I also make 24hr fermented homemade yogurt from half-and-half like some of the people on this comment board. The instructions do tell you to sterilize the milk first to at least 180 degrees. I asked the wife of the farmer I sometimes get raw milk from whether that step could be skipped. She said yes, but that the yogurt won’t really work so well. I think I’m to understand that in order for the new bacteria (the culture… Read more »
Ailu
Ailu
6 years 6 months ago

OMG, you just have to tell me how to begin making this yogurt recipe of yours! I grew my own Kombucha scoby and now have homemade Kombucha, it would be great to “grow” yogurt too!

Sophie
Sophie
6 years 6 months ago

Hey Ailu (below), I got the recipe from Breaking the Vicious Cycle by Elaine Gottschall, and some of the tweaks from a blog called http://www.eatingscd.com. Look for his “rich yoghurt” recipe.

maba
maba
6 years 6 months ago

I tried making it once by just warming the milk and not boiling it and it didn’t turn out well. I let it ferment for 2 days and even then, the yoghurt hadn’t set.

Kishore
Kishore
6 years 6 months ago

Emily, if you heat raw milk even up to 130 degrees, it can change the protein structure and higer temparatures destroy all the good bacteria. I have used raw organic milk for making yogurt and it tastes much better than any store ones. It tends to be more watery, but you can strain it and make it thicker.

CaveCravings
6 years 6 months ago

I love this post; so funny and so true! Real Greek yogurt is the best. When you’ve eaten the real stuff for a while you really can’t go back, you’ll never get the same satisfaction [plus who wants to eat a ton of additives?].

Lillian
6 years 6 months ago

Hehehe.. very entertaining yet educational. Your style of writing makes it easier for the assimilation of non-PBers 🙂

Lee Edwards
Lee Edwards
6 years 6 months ago

Living in Maine I can get raw dairy and unpasturized yogurt and cheese. I like to buy it straight from the farmers at the farmers’ markets.

Alan M
Alan M
6 years 6 months ago

This post inspired me to pick up some Fage Total. Had it with a banana and black berries–very satisfying.

Junie B
6 years 6 months ago
I find it interesting yet again that your topic is closely related to a discussion some of us were having about the new Smart Balance 2% milk and sour cream…the stupid commercials, where french fries are mentioned as well…anyway, my point is if you have to ADD crap to your crap to make it better, healthier, faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, then its CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! I loooooooooooooves my Greek yogurt, but i go from full fat to low to sometimes 0 just because…not sure why now that you made me think about… Read more »
wes
wes
6 years 6 months ago

I mistakenly bought fat free greek yogurt. I didn’t think it was possible. Why would it exist?

I usually frequent a local polish deli that sells “settled milk.” I believe it to be raw milk gone bad. Oh so good.

Uncle_Bulldog
Uncle_Bulldog
6 years 6 months ago

Isn’t that the same as clabbered milk?

pjnoir
pjnoir
6 years 6 months ago

its getting personal. It has been getting tougher and tougher to buy Fage Total anywhere these days. I made it a point to buy it on a very regular bases, even if I didn’t really need any (I do go on a diary fast from time to time)just to show that it is in DEMAND. BUt more fat f_n Free bougurts take there place on the shelves because the masses are brain washed. Time the choir preaches out to the streets louder. Save my lipids

emily
6 years 6 months ago

if im at a whole foods, or a co-op i ask every time if they dont have the total variety. im often told they will consider stocking it.

Candice
Candice
6 years 6 months ago
Hold on here….Unless I am missng something I am totally confused. Stated in this article it says from Mark “I’ve never had a full-fat item in my life – I avoid direct eye-contact with cartons of whole milk and I’ll spend as long as it takes to whip enough air into skim milk to get it to stand up on its own and solidify into cream (1:1:1 ratio of skim milk to powdered sugar to cornstarch) – but if they taste as good as this yogurt did, I think I understand why people are willing to risk obesity, heart disease,… Read more »
Candice
Candice
6 years 6 months ago

Oh nevermind. I reread & realized it’s a joke. PHEW! I was begining to doubt him for a second.
Making Raw Yogurt is Oh so fun & easy, & CHEAP! I went through great many lengths so get raw milk where I live. It is illegal here to purchase it for any reason where I live.
So I always keep my fingers crossed that some cop won’t pull me over for raw milk, 😉

Rich
Rich
6 years 6 months ago

First off, let me say I am a fan. I am a frequent visitor and I am about half way through the Primal Blueprint.

But with regard to the below quote, NOT cool!

“I’d gone in for a nasty cold; the doctor really didn’t want to write the prescription, citing some nonsense about the cold being a virus and therefore unaffected by antibiotics, but I just slipped him my favorite malpractice lawyer’s card, and he got the idea”

Griff
Griff
6 years 6 months ago

Why ever not? It’s funny as hell!

trackback

[…] Yoghurtmani – Mark’s Daily Apple […]

arlojeremy
6 years 6 months ago

Watching people choose yogurt is always an amusing experience. Standing there, blank-faced, baffled by the sheer variety of kinds. This one is low fat… but this one has more sugar… but this one has probiotics… but this one has fiber.. but this one has more added vitamins… but this one…

Karl MacPhee
6 years 6 months ago

Another fantastic post. I was beginning to wonder until I got into the 2nd or 3rd paragraph and came to the comclusion that this is one of Mark’s funny posts!

Does anyone know where to get FAGE or a similar product in Edmonton Alberta? My wife would not allow me to make homemade yogurt so I will bypass that idea and go for something which is a close second.

sandra
sandra
6 years 6 months ago

I just buy my favorite yogurt and strain it – tastes even better than Fage. Line a sieve with cheesecloth or paper towel or large coffee filter and let it sit in the frig overnight…

emily
6 years 6 months ago

ive done this too, but the awesome part about fage is its made with half whole milk and half cream, whereas even if you strain whole milk yogurt its still only 3.5% fat, not 10% fat.

cosmopolitan primal girl
6 years 6 months ago

This post is genius!!! This goes up there as one of my favourite posts along with your letter to Taco Bell. Please keep up the sarcasm and bashing of the packaged foods industry!

One of the other faux-foods I love to hate is the whole wheat bread that ‘looks and tastes like white bread’ so your kids won’t know the difference. GAH!

Fernando
Fernando
6 years 6 months ago

Yesterday I bought Greek yogurt for the first time, but today when I went to eat it I noticed on the back: “Reduced Fat”. I was upset at myself for not noticing this offensive detail prior to purchase. I look forward to buying some real greek yogurt next time.

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