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Let me introduce myself. My name is Mark Sisson. I’m 63 years young. I live and work in Malibu, California. In a past life I was a professional marathoner and triathlete. Now my life goal is to help 100 million people get healthy. I started this blog in 2006 to empower people to take full responsibility for their own health and enjoyment of life by investigating, discussing, and critically rethinking everything we’ve assumed to be true about health and wellness...

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February 06, 2007

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Wonkazoids

By Worker Bee
1 Comments

El Fritter

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with Wonkazoids.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t this a good way to keep tweens entertained during long car rides?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: “Now your candy’s got game,” says Nestle. This combination video game and candy dispenser is the latest wonderful Wonka offering.

The catch: Watching wax melt is more exciting than this game, which is a glorified diabetes dispenser. Even the Fuji knows a stupid video game when he sees one.

The comeback: Isn’t this a nice alternative to violent games? What harm is a little candy?

The conclusion: Candy is what is violent to young seedlings. The Fuji is going to make a Myspace page for Nestle. The Fuji will name it Pied Piper. Nevermind, that has already been taken. Perhaps Malicious Marketing to Munchkins is still available. Fuji will be right back…

The catchphrase: Nestle cares so much about children’s health, even the toys come filled with sugar!Scumbags
Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji. Mostly.

[tags]children’s health, candy, video games, wonkazoids[/tags]

TAGS:  humor

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