The Tuesday 10:
There are hundreds of scams for weight loss, health, disease cures, and fitness, but here are the current rotten stinkers:
The only kind that works must be eaten fresh. And it’s banned from export because it’s a protected flora. This weight-loss gimmick even comes with the #1 dead giveaway of scams everywhere: a heretofore undiscovered culture/tribe has finally, miraculously, revealed their secret, conveniently, to a white man who can’t wait to share this magical product with the world. Give me a break. That’s called a movie, not science. Here’s my expose.
9. Cellulite shoes
Again with the mysterious culture shrouded in lore. These don’t work – period. Though I do hear they help you fall and bruise your butt. Here’s a piece of my mind.
8. Cellulite creams
Sara frequently rants about this subject near and dear to many women’s hearts (or other parts). The best way to deal with cellulite – which isn’t curable no matter what the quacks like Mesunique claim – is to cut down on sugar, which stores itself in outer fat cells, and get some daily exercise. The more muscle and less fat you have, the smoother you look.
7. Colon cleansers
The colon is important, delicate, and needs to stay in top shape. That said, it does not have a brain, and your body does not store fecal matter for years on end just waiting to finally be emptied by some miracle cleansing product. What comes out is just buildup of a few days, and anything beyond that is, well, b.s. This myth was actually completely debunked by surgeons a century ago. I am in favor of probiotics, such as those sold by Natren (a great company) but extra fiber from psyllium or other “miracle” cleansers is totally unnecessary. So: hooray for fiber from fruits and vegetables.
Yes, this slimeball is abundant in protein. If you eat a truckload of it. Pay attention to serving size – often companies make claims about a product being extremely potent, but hope you’ll remain blissfully ignorant about how this potency relates to serving size. Supplementing with algae for aminos and other health benefits is about like relying on water for your vitamin and mineral needs. I like Perrier as much as the next guy, but I’ll stick with a multivitamin, thanks.
5. Male “enhancement” products
Guys, come on! Try enhancing intimacy and your skills instead.
4. Female “enhancement” products
Ladies, let it go. You don’t need these gimmicks – the folks selling them are just boobs (sorry). We men like you the way you are. If you still aren’t convinced, and don’t mind some PG-13 content, head on over to Bill Stieg’s blog at Men’s Health for the scoop on what we guys really think about the gals.
3. Bottled waters
Read my expose on mock waters. You cannot oxygenate or enhance water. You can’t penta it, hydro it, living cell it, or do anything else but drink it. Drink up, but don’t fall for the water hype.
2. Vegetable oils
Refined oils like canola, soybean and corn oil are free radical oil slicks that manage to get a bill of health from Uncle Sam. Lobbying gets the credit for that.
Avoid these oils like the plague, and go for healthy fats like organic butter, Smart Butter (rich in Omega-3’s), olive oil, avocado oil, or nut oils.
1. Alli (orlistat)
I’ve been ranting about Alli quite a bit. This ineffective, unproven, no-good OTC weight-loss pill offers nothing but side effects and oily spotting. Yes.
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