Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
14 Dec

The Sisson Spoof

fuckitbucket

It’s great that KFC has announced it will eliminate trans fats from all menu items. But until this unethical bucket-for-bypass is off the production line, I will continue to have less respect for KFC than I do for child-proof packaging. On the other hand, at least they don’t pretend to care, which is more than can be said about most fast-food chains. There’s no sprinkling of broccoli or lean grilled chicken to confuse the meal’s purpose: cheap fodder for the masses. When you can mock your customers and get away with it, you’ve entered into dealer-addict territory. I’m not sure where to lay the blame; at any rate, I’m more interested in a solution. What do we do?

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Imagine you’re George Clooney. Take a moment to admire your grooming and wit. Okay, now imagine someone walks up to you and asks, “What’s your name?” You say, “I’m George Clooney.” Or maybe you say, “I’m the Clooninator!” You don’t say “I’m George of George Clooney Sells Movies Blog” and you certainly don’t say, “I’m Clooney Weight Loss Plan”. So while spam is technically meat, it ain’t anywhere near Primal. Please nickname yourself something your friends would call you.

  1. The only solution is to go to extreme radical measures and take terrorist action against restaurants, stores, pesticide and additive makers, and all processing factories. Light ‘em up! Bombs away! If caught and brought before the courts we can always claim self defense.

    Tim wrote on February 3rd, 2011

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