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Let me introduce myself. My name is Mark Sisson. I’m 63 years young. I live and work in Malibu, California. In a past life I was a professional marathoner and triathlete. Now my life goal is to help 100 million people get healthy. I started this blog in 2006 to empower people to take full responsibility for their own health and enjoyment of life by investigating, discussing, and critically rethinking everything we’ve assumed to be true about health and wellness...

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January 23, 2007

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Enhanced Soft Drinks

By Worker Bee
1 Comments

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with enhanced soft drinks.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, if we’re going to have soda, isn’t it better to enhance it with vitamins and natural flavorings?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Soft drinks are now coming in super-enhanced varieties loaded with vitamin C.

The catch: Soft drinks are now coming in super-enhanced varieties loaded with sugar. The Fuming Fuji cannot wait for super-enhanced lard cakes to be loaded with vitamin C also – what a difference to health that will make!

The comeback: People aren’t going to stop drinking soda. At least make it healthier!

The conclusion: Wise words. Perhaps we should add ginseng to bacon bits. Fuming Fuji predicts a new food revolution of selling the same old junk. Fuming Fuji asks what is next: Botox Burgers?

The catchphrase:
When you get sick from this garbage food, at least you will not be deficient in Vitamin C.

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.

[tags]children’s health, soft drinks, vitamin C[/tags]

TAGS:  humor

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