The Definitive Guide to Feeding Primal Babies
It’s commonly portrayed as the realm of infant formula, rice cereal, applesauce, teething biscuits, Zwieback toast and Cheerios. And in the following months a large pantry selection of strained this or that in tiny glass, commercial jars… Add to this picture more recent concoctions like toddler formula, Elmo crackers, mini juice packs, fruit gummies, and “Graduate” lines. All of this begs the question, exactly when and how did baby/early toddler nutrition become a string of processed convenience foods? The ingredient lists often smack more of Candyland than the “wholesome goodness” claimed on the labels. Was this really what nature intended? Can’t we do better by our baby Groks? What would Grandma Grok have to say about all of this? We’ve taken up the kid question before, but I thought it was time for a definitive focus on the youngest of the seedling set.
In a consumeristic society, conventional wisdom has an odd way of merging with marketing maneuver. These revisions to common sense seep in slowly, idea by idea, item by item, until we look around and suddenly don’t recognize the landscape or logic anymore. (That is, if we choose to think about it…) As we so often ask at MDA, how did our current customs come to stray so far from the way of our ancestors?
In Grok’s day, for one, babies had to nurse. Human milk was a long complex product of evolution. Milk with fatty acids for brain development, antibodies for immune system support and high nutrient and fat content resulted in healthy babies who would more likely survive the challenges of Grok’s day. If the milk could change as the child aged to better meet his/her needs over time, that child would have an even better chance of making it to adulthood. And, as we know, these characteristics in breastmilk were exactly what evolution favored and selected for over time. Because human babies had small stomachs, they needed to eat often. Breastmilk was the ultimate in portable food. Because it took two years for babies and young toddlers to develop teeth adequate to chew much of the food available in Grok’s day, they were dependent on their mothers’ milk. (There were, of course, no Cuisinart processors or food mills in Paleolithic times – and little time to bother with elaborate food preparation anyway.) Children transitioned to solids at a slow and gradual rate and took milk from their mothers throughout the toddler years.
So, if the Primal Blueprint vision blends the best of Grok’s day with the benefit of ours, what does this mean for the youngest among us today? Before you scratch the food processor from your baby registry, you should know that I don’t believe in eschewing the gadgets and gizmos that assist in providing good nutrition. I take issue with the modern redefinition of infant/toddler nutrition and the decided disadvantage it imposes on today’s seedlings.
Breastfeeding Benefits
One thing is for certain. Nursing was good enough for baby Grok, and it remains the ideal, unmatched source of nutrients that support human development. Though I’m not going to make a point of comparing formula feeding to mechanical bull riding while pregnant (remember that ad campaign?) I will put it out there – breast is best. Currently, the American Academy of Pediatrics (as well as other pediatric associations) recommends exclusively breastfeeding until six months, continuing through the first year with the introduction of solids, and after that as long as the mother desires. WHO and UNICEF promote breastfeeding until at least the age of two. As for the MDA stance, I consider breastmilk an absolutely crucial element in optimal infant and young toddler nutrition. Extended breastfeeding and/or the offering of pumped milk should continue through the age of two and ideally beyond.
Last month an Atlantic article The Case Against Breastfeeding caught the public’s (and my) attention and got a lot of tongues wagging. The author, Hanna Rosin, made the case that research didn’t support a significant health benefit of breastmilk over today’s infant formulas. Rosin set out to scrutinize the science behind the nursing-formula debate and to weigh the benefit of breastmilk against the efforts and frustrations of the mother who must provide it. Unfortunately, the article accomplished neither goal in any comprehensive or accurate way. As to the science, critics complain that Rosin conveniently scanned (and cited) selective medical literature. Her “search” into the debate was triggered by a 2001 JAMA article suggesting “inconsistent associations” between breastfeeding and subsequent obesity risk. She went on to point out the occasional incongruity to be found in breastfeeding research – whether it be related to allergies, IQ, diabetes, etc. (Someone should tell her this is always the case – no matter what the issue or condition studied.)
As for Rosin’s and other skeptics’ arguments, it’s true that subsequent diet and circumstance can undo the benefits of breastfeeding. Other advantages are so difficult to nail down in any absolute way that results can always be questioned from some angle (e.g. an individual child’s potential IQ versus his/her actual IQ). She also doesn’t mention (and perhaps didn’t bother to look at) how many of the “critical” studies were indirectly funded by the formula industry. Trust me, there are a lot out there, and the fine print is usually buried at the bottom.
Nonetheless, the overall picture of breastfeeding benefits looks like this. One of the most comprehensive review studies examined and screened over 9000 research abstracts. The final contents of the review included “43 primary studies on infant health outcomes, 43 primary studies on maternal health outcomes, and 29 systematic reviews or meta-analyses that covered approximately 400 individual studies.” The findings were these: a 36% reduction in SIDS, a 23-50% risk reduction (depending on breastfeeding duration) for middle ear infections, 42% risk reduction in eczema, 64% reduction in non-specific gastroenteritis, a 72% reduction in hospitalization for lower respiratory tract infections (infants under 1 year of age), a 27% reduction in asthma (40% for those with a family history), 7-24% reduction in later obesity, a 19-27% reduction in type 1 diabetes, a 39% reduction in type 2 diabetes, a 15-19% reduction in childhood leukemia, as well as an association with lower blood pressure, and lower total and LDL cholesterol. Association with cognitive development, particularly for premature or low birth weight infants, has been shown, but environmental factors have not been completely ruled out as confounding factors in existing studies.
Finally, research is coming out now suggesting a significant health benefit for the mother. In addition to helping prevent postpartum depression, nursing (particularly for two years or more) can also reduce the risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, maternal type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, stroke, and heart disease. Membership has its privileges.
All that said, I understand that modern life and individual circumstance can make nursing (particularly “extended” breastfeeding) difficult despite the incredible advantages to both mother and child. More mothers work outside the home and are away from their children for long stretches of time. Although the breast pump industry (along with the pumping culture) has skyrocketed in recent years, not every woman has the practical opportunity, legal entitlement or adequate location for pumping during the workday. These are legitimate questions our society needs to actively and concretely address.
Additionally, nursing requires a tremendous amount of patience, time, and (at certain stages) physical fortitude. No wonder nature designed positive motivators like hormonal release to encourage mother-child bonding and relaxation during breastfeeding. Mother Grok didn’t have much of an alternative to nursing, but she likely had more support and informal instruction within the tribal community than mothers do today.
In the rare case of milk supply issues or maternal absence, it’s probable that other lactating women in the group took on nursing responsibilities for an ailing or orphaned infant. Today we have the likes of La Leche League and professional lactation consultants to stand in for some of the traditional supports. Herbal remedies like fenugreek, alfalfa, nettle leaf, and goat’s rue can help stimulate milk production in mothers who need a boost because of illness, abnormally difficult labor and delivery, premature birth or poor nursing latch.
In the rare case of milk supply issues that couldn’t be fixed through herbal medicine, it’s probable that other lactating women in the group took on nursing responsibilities for an ailing or orphaned infant. Today, we don’t really live in tribes, villages, or closely-knit families with lactating females in our midst at all times, but we can still obtain donor breastmilk through programs like Milk Share, Human Milk 4 Human Babies (nice ring to it, eh?), and Eats on Feets. If milk-boosting isn’t working, I would strongly consider donor milk. Human breast absolutely is best, even if it’s not yours.
If breastfeeding isn’t an option because of maternal health, adoption or other irremediable circumstance, opinions differ on the best secondary options. Most experts suggest conventional formula preparations (particularly for newborns and young babies). Some have evaluated their composition to aid parents in their decision, but nearly all recommend avoiding soy formula all together.
There are also recipes for homemade formula, but it’s crucial in these circumstances to consult your pediatrician. For newborns and young babies, I would recommend conventional formula with DHA and ARA. (I’m not any fan of the formula companies, but infant nutrition involves a whole constellation of considerations. As much as I despise some of the industry marketing practices, the formula companies are closely regulated, and nutrient/hydration requirements have been precisely figured.)
For older babies, I would suggest caution and close medical collaboration when selecting and feeding homemade formula. Though many pediatricians suggest that cow’s milk is a sufficient substitute for formula after twelve months, I recommend continuing a DHA-containing formula (pediatrician-approved homemade or conventional if necessary) until at least eighteen months and preferably two years. Finally, although human breast milk can be purchased, it is generally far beyond the budget of most families. If your baby is premature or unhealthy at birth, talk to the hospital staff and your insurance company about the availability and coverage of donated breast milk.
Even in the best of circumstances, it’s important for nursing mothers to prioritize good nutrition for themselves. Breastmilk production requires extra protein, calcium, fatty acids and an overall addition of daily calories (usually between 350-500). Incorporating a wide variety of foods will help cultivate an infant’s taste for that same healthy fare once they transition to solids. It’s a wise idea to limit or eliminate foods associated with sensitivities and allergies like dairy, soy, gluten, peanuts, coffee and citrus.
Sampling Solids
This brings us to early foods… It’s impossible to cover the first year or so without discussing the transition to “real food” (as if breastmilk is somehow a substandard stand-in…). Ask a roomful of parents what their children’s pediatricians suggest for first foods, and you’ll inevitably hear infant rice or oatmeal from the vast majority. How many of us received the same from our parents? Show of hands?
Conventional wisdom and practice promotes a timeline that goes something like this: rice cereal at six months (sometimes even earlier!), quickly followed by infant oatmeal, followed by barley, followed by processed and pureed fruits, processed and pureed “sweet” vegetables (e.g. squash, sweet potatoes), followed by infant desserts like pudding and cobbler (seriously, folks), followed by the gradual inclusion of maybe an additional 3-4 processed “vegetable” varieties (for the last time, corn is not a vegetable – and neither are peas for that matter). Mixed into this mash of baby mush are innumerable Cheerios, “puffs” (grains decorated with coloring and air), “yogurt melts” and other such nutritional nonsense. I need a timeout just thinking about this….
First off, let me say what should be the obvious. Forget the grains. Pitch the cute boxes with the baby face and baby bowl and other sentimental imagery. Rice, oatmeal, barley. These are unnecessary elements of infant (or adult) nutrition. Although they might be cheaper per ounce, they are less nutrient dense, have a high glycemic index, and in early infancy can trigger allergic conditions. There’s the argument that babies should be exposed to grains to actually prevent allergies or intolerance later. The research is spotty, inconsistent, and the evolutionary logic doesn’t add up. However, because grains are so ubiquitous in our society, it might not be a bad idea to “test” for allergies at some point. Nonetheless, this process can easily wait until the age of one or later when babies have the enzymes to better handle their composition.
That takes care of the boxes. What about the jars? I mean, of course, the customary jars (Gerber, Heinz, Beechnut, etc.) that have lined the cabinets of parents for the last few generations. My first reaction is save your money. These baby purees contain so much water that you’re paying through the nose for a truly minute amount of actual food.
My second response is to forgo them for the sake of better nutrition as well as a better bottom line. Commercial baby foods, whether they come in the traditional jars or those little plastic containers, contain unnecessary and questionable fillers. (Something has to hold it together after including all that water). Fillers like cornstarch or tapioca add to the processed carb content of the “meal” without adding any nutrition to it. The primary food ingredient itself is likely overcooked, a process which depletes the nutritional content. (Some analyses have found natural and organic brands such as Earth’s Best to be more nutrient dense than the bigger conventional companies.) By all means, skip the infant desserts, which have a lower nutritional profile than their regular puree counterparts. If you’re looking for convenience, I’d suggest the frozen baby foods that have become widely available in the last few years (Happy Baby, Plum, Sweet Cheeks, etc.).
Ultimately, however, I’d recommend making your own. The business of do-it-yourself baby food has come a long way since my children were young. In addition to the old fashioned food mills and the small size processors, you can now find special freezer trays, portable serving cubes, baby food sieves, innumerable cookbooks and even an all-in-one steamer and processor. With all the gadgets and gizmos, the time investment is minimal, the nutrition unmatched, and the financial outlay less than most other options.
The best first foods around six months of age are non-allergenic, fresh and flavorful foods that provide impressive amounts of the nutrients especially helpful for infants. Avocado is a great first option: easy to prepare and rich in healthy fats. Bananas, another old standby, aren’t bad either. Cooked (but liquid) egg yolks are a good choice and offer essential cholesterol. (Yes, cholesterol is good for something.) Meats run through a fine food mill provide the iron and protein critical for this stage. Pureed beets, carrots, spinach and other softer greens, sweet potatoes, turnips, apples, pears, berries are good additions. (Side note: some experts suggest delaying the feeding of fresh beets, spinach and carrots until at least six months if not a few months longer given the high nitrate content that young babies largely convert to nitrites.)
Most fruits and vegetables can be slightly cooked to create an easier consistency and promote better digestion. (Obviously, roots and tubers need to be fully softened.) That said, it’s unnecessary to cook these items to the point of unrecognizable mush. You want to balance nutrient retention with baby-friendly texture. You can add unsweetened yogurt to fruits and pureed greens. Include a bit of cod liver oil, and you’ve got yourself a good smoothie Baby Grok would’ve loved.
For babies and young children, I’d definitely recommend organic whenever and wherever you can find it. (This goes for any food group.) The smaller the seedling, the more vulnerable they are to pesticide residues, hormones and antibiotics. Organic and wild variety produce also offers more nutritional bang for your buck. Dairy and meats should be pastured whenever possible.
The bottom line on baby seedlings is this: it’s clear what nature intended. Human milk for human babies. Whole foods in appropriate, easy to eat forms. Traditional practice trumps conventional wisdom here as it does in nearly every part of the Primal Blueprint. Nonetheless, Lady Grok would’ve killed for that Beaba….
Have your seedling suggestions, comments or questions? Send them on, and thanks for reading.
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Posted By: Mark Sisson
Great article, thanks. We’re thinking of slowly transitioning to a more paleo way of eating, inspired by friends. We have an 18mth old daughter (who is still breastfed, but only just – she is giving up slowly) and I am slightly nervous about cutting out carbs completely for her, but we’ll do it gradually and see how she does. She has been weaned the “Baby-led Weaning” way, which means skipping the puree stage and just offering real food in manageable pieces – her first meal was steamed broccoli and steamed carrot sticks. Best parenting decision of our lives as we have never had a “difficult” mealtime or any stress over food. You can find more info and a very friendly forum at http://www.babyledweaning.com/forum
I really wish I’d know all of this when mine were babies….but now I get to educate my daughter!
When mine were infants I was unable to nurse as there weren’t enough calories in my milk to keep them alive (I know now that this was likely due to the low fat diet I was following!) so they did go on formula, but I’m a big advocate of nursing at least 6 months and preferable up to a year.
For baby foods, I did make a lot of my own, but mainly because of finances, not because I thought it was healthier.
Curious….when did they stop making baby meats? or I should say pureed baby meat? I was looking at the baby food section in the store the other day and was surprised to see that they were no longer on the shelves! (Note…a look at the Gerber site does have meat, but all contain corn starch!)
Thanks Mark for a great article. I breastfed my three children back in the sixties/seventies when it definitely wasn’t “in”. Thanks to La Leche League, I learned a lot of truths and got a lot of support. They taught me how to nurse inconspicuously (I nursed my 3 month old on a plane, and the man sitting next to me didn’t know – he said “what a good baby” when she didn’t cry! I didn’t give my kids baby foods – just breast milk until they started to grab food off the table
I was fortunate in not having to work when they were small. I’m glad some companies are providing time/space for nursing mothers to pump.
Hey Mark, you might want to check out “Baby Led Weaning” and then revisit this topic. It’s amazing what babies can eat themselves without any prep work.
Hello, this is my first ever comment on a blog.
I am a nursing mother and am trying to follow the primal blueprint. Does anyone know what effects ketosis in the mother has on the baby?
My daughter will be a year old next week and I plan on nursing until she weans herself (her sister weaned herself around 15 mo.)
I am also having trouble balancing enough carbs while keeping my protein to the recommended amount. I will be trying the “Big Ass Salad” for lunch to see if that helps.
I know I’m supposed to get more calories while nursing. Where should they fall? (Protein, fat or carbs or all three?)
Thanks!
In answer to the question about effect of mom’s ketosis on baby, since Inuit traditionally ate whale/seal/other animals with lots of fat, and few carbs, it would appear that babies would thrive if moms ate that way. Just be sure to get enough fat to provide needed calories.
Thank you for this article, Mark! There are also many great comments from your readers. I wanted to confess that I too have pre-chewed many meals of healthy first foods for my babies, mostly because it was easier than preparing many separate meals for our large family. My 3rd and 4th children were also lucky recipients of extended and tandem breastfeeding.
In response to indiadawn, the exclusively-breastfed babies I nursed never responded adversely when I was losing the baby fat/i.e., ketosis. I feed myself nutrient-dense foods, plenty of healthy fluids, and didn’t try to do too much too quickly. My current nurser is doing fine with my no-grain diet, and I feel great too.
This is good for my soul to read. I have food allergies and found my way to the GAPS diet almost by accident, which is pretty close to what you describe as Primal.
My daughter is still nursing at 3.5. Like her mother, she has an aversion to high-carb foods unless they’re bathed in a good, nutritious fat. As an infant, she always spit out the rice cereal and couldn’t seem to digest vegetables until recently. She prefered prechewed rare grass-fed meat. Her favorite breakfast is a meat patty made of beef or lamb mixed with a chopped, steamed vegetable and sauerkraut, and a few spoonfuls of rice soaked in ghee or olive oil. When I bake treats for her, they’re either bean flour-based or fruit-sweetened puddings from coconut milk or avocado hardened with beef gelatin. She takes cod liver oil and vitamin D daily. Her health is fantastic and her teeth unlike any kid’s I know – wide spaced, strong and white. She’s got a mouth like a muppet, very wide in the palate. We also keep her in soft shoes or barefoot as much as possible.
I can vouch for the health benefits of this way of eating. This same kid had allergic colitis as a 4-month old. We were told that she didn’t have much chance of thriving. So there, mainstream allopaths!
Interesting! Ground meat is often offered as a first baby food in Africa (according to a comment in a WHO study on transitional combined breastfeeding/solid diets), which makes sense–babies’ bodies run out of zinc and iron as they grow.
One thing that struck me often as a new mom was how separate babies are supposed to be from the adult sphere. If we could bring them along wherever we went, like Mama Grok, we’d have an easier time breastfeeding . . . and rearing our kids to live in the real world. I bet adults would behave more decently to one another too.
excellent article! what a departure from the way i was raised—my mother bottlefed me (the 1960′s nurses claimed she would never get the “hang” of nursing)(LOL!), and gave me Gerber Rice cereal when i was only one month old…..I’m happy to say that with my own kids, we breastfed for 2.5 years …I have allergies/asthma, but only one of my kids has allergies and no asthma.
Great article! I was only able to nurse my son for 4 months
Couldn’t get a good latch, when I pumped I got nothing, probably due to stress and a sad diet. I was freaking out because I knew all the garbage in commercial formulas. Luckily I found the Weston A Price foundation and the website posted the infant formula recipes from Nourishing Traditions cookbook. I’ve been giving my son the raw milk formula since then and he is now 19 months, strong and healthy and has had a cold only once.
As for solids, he gets chicken with yogurt cheese and a little dill for flavor. He also occasionally gets some fruit and veggies, although he doesn’t care for vegg very much yet. He doesn’t like eggs, so I make him a berry or a chicken clafoutis (eggs & cream whipped together and poured over the berries/chicken/whatever with optional maple syrup (formaldehyde free)/spices/whatever and baked for 30 minutes. Divine!!!
I have been following a Weston A. Price diet since my daughter was 3 months old. I exclusively breastfeed her – she is almost 8 months now, and I try to give her cod-liver oil. I recently eliminated all grains after reading Primal Blueprint. My doc found through blood tests that I am hypothyroid – very low T3 and put me on natural dessicated porcine thyroid about 3 months ago. Since my daughter was about 3-4 months old, I can’t seem to lose any more baby weight. I am about 10-15 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight and I can’t fit into any of my clothes! My doc says to accept my new mom body and be proud of it, but I just can’t do that. Any idea why I can’t lose weight no matter what I do? I tried lots of exercise and then minimal exercise and now Primal exercise and nothing works. My weight stays the same. Do some women not lose weight while breastfeeding and if so, why? I was 130-135 pre-pregnancy and now I am consistenly 145 NO MATTER WHAT I DO. Any advice? I thought about stopping my hypothyroid medication since it gives me heart palpitations and a bit of insomnia.
I also don’t want to do extreme dieting because I am breastfeeding, but would it hurt to try significantly reducing my intake?
Need help!
Katie,
I read that while breastfeeding helps lose most of the weight, if you were thin before you got pregnant then your body will hold onto about 10 extra pounds as long as you are breastfeeding to make sure there are always enough fat reserves to feed your baby. As a breastfeeding mother of a 6 month old, I too, have been grounded at 13 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight. I have decided to stop stressing as much about it until I’m done nursing (but still eat healthy and exercise).
Hi. I don’t have any thoughts on why you haven’t been able to lose weight – breastfeeding usually helps. Regarding the thyroid supplementation, it sounds like you’re taking too much, if you’re getting palpitations, and can’t sleep. You shouldn’t go off the medication, just have your physician lower the dose and keep checking every 4 weeks until you reach the right TSH level. If your physician isn’t an endocrinologist, I suggest you see one. I am also hypothyroid, so am familiar with the situation.
Katie, I would not stop meds but you might need a dosage adjustment. I was also recently diagnosed as hypothyroid and the endocrinologist started me at a LOW dose and has slowly increased at, as she said that “too much, too soon” can indeed cause heart palpitations. If anything, getting your thyroid under control should help with your weight, so I encourage you to see about an adjustment, not stopping the med.
As for your weight? Well I confess I gained about 55 pounds when I was pregnant with my son. I lost 35 in the first 6 weeks after delivery, but those other stubborn 20 just hung on and on. I didn’t want to cut food too much as I was breast-feeding also, but I was trying exercising and jogging. Nothing worked.
Finally weaned my son between 10 and 11 months of age, in prep for having to go back to work when he was a year old. And after I weaned him those last 20 pounds just dropped right off in a matter of weeks! Phew, I was able to fit back into all my pre-pregnancy business clothes.
So breast-feeding didn’t help with weight-loss, but weaning sure did for me.
I just want to give some food for thought:
My sister and I were born 4 years apart, she was fully breastfed for a long time and was a plump baby.
I was born premature, put in a breeding case in critical care in the hospital for 6 weeks and on baby formula. Fed through tubes and had no human contact (physically by touching skins)
Now 40 years later:
My sister is a wreck, her hair has steadily been falling out since a teenager, she had VERY bad teeth growing up and had to have braces, she is also allergic to anything and everything, has degenerative disc disease, bad spine all together, very bad skin, adult acne, weight problems, sagging skin in the face that makes her look 10 years older. Bad feet and an overall unhealthy appearance.
Myself:
Besides the sinus allergies and digestive distress I have had nothing my entire life. And even those 2 are eliminated following the PB now.
Breastfeeding doesn’t always mean you’re raising a perfect human. It’s what this individual does for the rest of his/her life that determines their health.
Thanks for this post, Mark!! And thanks to everyon for the comments, too. It really bridged the gap for me – I’ve always known I want to breastfeed my babies (I can’t STAND women who feed their children formula because they feel “weird” breastfeeding – what do you think breasts are for?), and I know I’m TOTAlly getting a babycook, but I couldn’t figure out the solids. This has really helped me realized the way babies are supposed to eat!
Who needs Cheerios anyway?
Just an update…we are skipping purees and going straight to full solids. So, no babycook – just what my kid can eat herself or with my help! Mama bird, anyone? My baby was exclusively breastfed for 7 months and we’ve slowly started to introduce solids as she becomes more interested.
For mothers who think they have to hide in a bathroom to nurse a baby, there are ways to nurse in public without anyone being aware of it. You can throw a baby blanket over your shoulder and the baby, or you can lift your shirt just enough to give baby access, and baby will block your breast. I have done this on an airplane and in shopping malls and restaurants. See La Leche League for more info and support on primal baby raising, although they don’t call it that.
On the topic of nursing in public: I consider the need to hide my breasts while nursing my children similar to the need to wear a burqa so that men won’t be tempted away from thoughts of the divine by my sinful female body. I mean no disrespect, but…come on. While I’m grateful that I don’t have to walk around under a blanket so that I don’t get stoned to death, I’m still a little shocked that women feel shy about breastfeeding – and that our culture supports that!
Anyone grossed out by the sight of a child nursing at the breast is a misogynist, pure and simple. If you are feeding a child, especially an older child, your boobs are occasionally going to be out and about. And, as weird as it seems in North America and many western cultures, they should be. I’m as shy as a teen about my boobs now, because I’m done with nursing and they’ve gone back to being happy playthings for my sweetheart.
But, when I was nursing – >8years of it – the boobs were for the kids, end of story.
I wish there was a way of convincing women to stop being idiots about their bodies. Teens can be silly and that’s expected, but once you have a baby, we really need to start behaving thoughtfully. Your breasts are for feeding your children, full stop. Sure, they also attract a mate, but once you’ve got the mate and had the kid, their function changes. It will change back when the kid stops nursing, trust me. Dad’s just going to have to learn to share. (It’s the least of what he’ll have to put up with in the coming years anyway.)
As for “getting the hang of nursing” well, some babies struggle, so it’s not just about the mom. And, some boobs are more nursable than others. But, almost all boobs can become nursable… those first borns sometimes have a hard job! I wish someone had told me how difficult it can be. I had mastitis more times than I care to remember, blood in my milk one time from broken vessels in my breasts, scabbed nipples, blah blah blah. My advice is be patient, be kind to yourself, hang in.
I kept thinking: “ok – I knew labour would be hard – it’s called labour. But, someone should pick a new name for breastfeeding, like: post partum torture or something.” I kept thinking there was something wrong, he wasn’t getting enough, it shouldn’t hurt so much…
Just stick with it – it gets better and very few things you do in parenting your child will matter as much. He was getting enough, it did get better, it took an act of faith and having someone around who’d gone through it would have helped.
Breastfeeding is critical. I’m not into guilting women out, but, why gild the lily? If you have to choose between a college fund and breastfeeding – especially in the coming market place – I strongly suggest you opt for breast feeding.
By the time my first was a year old, we’d finally gotten through the worst (thrush, getting kicked out of restaurants, mastitis, you name it) and I thought – I’m supposed to quit now? Just when it’s getting useful and not torturous??? My toddlers were calm and we napped together, i got my oxytocin several times a day from occasional nursings (imagine mini orgasms 3 or 4 times a day, that’s the hormonal impact of nursing), and I thought, if people are going to judge me for nursing these toddlers, well, judge away man, I need my fix and so do they.
If you are still uncertain about extended nursing and nursing anywhere, anytime, just look at the world around us. While you are doing that, look extra close at the pharmaceutical companies, in particular at the number of anti depressant prescriptions (26 M and climbing every single year in the US) and decide if you want ANYTHING than ANYONE aligned with the mainstream has to say to direct your thinking about your child, their health and your body. Mainstream thinking has failed us and it’s failing our children (but, advertising folks make a lot of money from it, and I know what I speak of because I’m in marketing.) You could pretty much do the opposite of mainstream childrearing as a rule, and come out on top. That’s how skewed we are in our thinking about what’s “normal” for babies and children.
I decided not to listen to what my friends/family had to say and it’s been the key to my happiness. My 11 year old still cuddles my breasts to get to sleep at night (not because he needs to, because he loves to!), my sixteen year old is an artist and currently, most of his drawings feature rubanesque goddesses with BIG swords (or guns – sorry!) and massive pendulous breasts (lol); it’s awesome! We regularly have chin up contests and Friday mornings are monkey bar workouts… Primal living gets better as the kids grow.
But, he sees women as strong providers, powerful nurturers, sexy warriors. I like to think that a lot of his fascination of powerful and empowered women comes from being nursed.
Plus, I’m raising two boys to become men who’ll treat women with respect. I believe it began by giving my body fully to them when they were babies. They will be good lovers, friends to women and perhaps, fathers. They have a built in belief, established in the first years of their lives, that their world is life supporting. What more could you want your child to believe in life?
Their first impression of womanhood was sweet, soft, and plentiful. As they got older, they had to learn to ask (which is a good reason for nursing toddlers – you need something they want to teach them respect) and to be patient. They had to learn that my body is mine, and their body is theirs – breasts are probably the worlds first teaching tools for socialization.
As for blankets over boobs nursing in public, well if you have time to fuss, fine. But, it may just be simpler to change your thinking about boobs, if only for a while, as I did. Nowadays, you wouldn’t catch me flashing cleavage anywhere – it would kill my professional life for one (I work with engineers and they don’t necessarily want to see a healthy set of knockers when they are trying to talk about processes); and I like saving the middle age sexiness for my man. But it sure made my life simpler when the kids were babies to flip a giant bird to disapproving family, friends and society in general when it came to “shocking” people with my child-friendly boobs.
I think that, as mothers, we must be good at knowing what’s our issue, and what’s someone else’s, and what’s harmful and stupid to teach our children. That’s the only way we are going to be able to raise strong individuals. That’s the only way we are going to become a more compassionate society, able to solve problems that grow more complex with every generation.
How you handle your boobs – especially in terms of your children – is, I’m sorry, a political as well as personal matter.
How you handle your boobs teaches your daughters to own, love and respect their bodies; to wonder at all the different iterations of our bodies as we grow, and all that is unique about us. Ladies, teach your girls to love their boobs. And let your boys love them too.
How you handle your boobs tells the world how to treat you. Go natural, and love your body. You never know when you’ll get the call and one or both may have to be removed to save your life… Although, there is evidence to suggest that nursing may stave off breast cancer. If the day comes and you have to bid farewell to one or both of your boobs, well, those years of nursing a baby will be so much more precious in your heart; boobs well spent! And, bear your scars, stretchmarks, mastectomy, and otherwise, with a warrior’s pride.
I long for the day that nursing tents – those weird things women wear around their necks to hide their beautiful little babies nursing sweetly – are a joke, not worthy of any real discussion. I long for a day that nursing rooms are optional, for moms who still need to focus on helping babies feed, rather than the mom who’s little one just needs a sip now and again.
I long for the day that the only discussion worth having in regards to nursing is how to get the optimal nutrition into mothers – all the mothers of the world – so their breastmilk will be rich, plentiful, and free of toxins.
I long for the day that Nestle, instead of handing out cases of formula to doctors to give to poor mothers, will instead give cases of veggies and fruits to keep mothers’ breastmilk rich for their newborns. (Nestle’s owes AT LEAST that much to the mother’s of developing countries after the havoc they have wreaked and the babies who have died as a result of Nestle’s “generosity”.)
Please ladies, if you are “considering” nursing (and I mean extended, full time nursing) instead of committed to it, just grow a set (if you’ll pardon the macho euphemism); do it on behalf of your children. This is one of those things that will actually count. All the other crap that goes with childrearing: learning to read (they will, try and stop them), daycare (any place with kids and sane folks is fine), tv (whatever), video games (whatever), war toys (deny them, then try to explain the news when they are older), teen sex (you won’t have much say), drugs (good luck!) are all less in your control than you think.
If parenting teaches us anything, it’s that our children belong to their time and their culture – not us. We are little more than spectators in their lives, along for the ride, the cheering section. If you don’t believe it, it’s because your kids are still too young to have disillusioned you. But – food, their first food, that’s one that we get to control. And among few—it’s the one that may count the most.
Knockers out Moms – eat well, drink lots, work less and feed your babies with pride!
Janice – WOW!
Love your comment. I am a midwife and a huge advocate of breastfeeding. You are so right that your children deserve ‘you’, not the fearful parent who wishes to please others. None of us want our children to grow up fearful and people-pleasers. If this is not a great place to start showing them how to be strong in what you believe, then what is?
If the WHO recommends breastfeeding to 2 years of age, why do we have women in North America who only breastfeed for 6 weeks, or not at all? Even the APP recommends to 6 months. We are such a strange society…
Well, bless you and all other midwives!
Personally, I owe anything that worked with birth and childrearing to my brave, wonderful midwives: Barbara Scriver and Noreen Walker of Edmonton Alberta and Gloria LeMay of Vancouver BC.
When I met Barb in 1994, i was like: I can’t see nursing past 3-6 months. the thought disgusts me…
She just laughed. When she held the doptone to my tummy and I heard those tiny horse hooves for the first time, I said: “Hey, it’s not a tumor!” She just laughed and hugged me. (what a different experience than going to the doctor and hearing “Well, first let’s make sure it’s not a tumor.”)
Both my children were born at home, caught by midwives. Doctors and nurses treated me like a patient, the midwives treated me like a human. When I got scared or stuck in my first labour, instead of offering something for the pain or otherwise disempowering me, my midwife kicked my young ass into gear, got me to calm down and focus.
I wanted to be a midwife once upon a time because it made all the difference to my children, and to me. But, what a tough row to hoe. I went to a few hospital births and one home birth (other than my own) and what a difference!! The hospital births seemed like rape. It was hard to hold down friends being sewn with very little topical anesthetic, especially when I knew that if they’d only been allowed to get off their butts and wait for contractions to push (instead of pushing in the gaps in between – can you imagine!?) they wouldn’t have needed the episiotomy in the first place.
The thought of being trapped in a birthing bed with my butt crushed against that seat to give birth freaks me out. Watching it was bad enough, I can’t imagine doing it. My girlfriend held me up in a squatting position for the first one (Dad watched, speechless!) and I was kneeling for the second, which the midwife helped Dad catch. The midwives said – choose the position that feels right. How simple is that?
Anyhow, in the end I lacked the courage to take on the political stuff (I’ve seen how many doctors and nurses treat midwives, doulas and birth attendants), and I lacked the strength to enter a career that entails teaching women that that giving birth is something mammals do (natural does not equal easy all the time). Instead, I went into a career in marketing (read: gutless whore for $)
But, I would and will do anything to support the women – midwives and doulas – who do this important work.
Midwifery takes more strength than I will ever had (and I like my weightlifting!). But, I’m more grateful for my midwives than I can ever properly express.
Plus: I’m raising two advocates of midwifery. They’ve seen the videos of their births, so they have a non-medical template locked into their concept of birth.
Weirdly, the youngest loves his birth video.
However, I learned (twice) that video taping yourself giving birth is a probably a mistake. It was a great experience, but really, I could do without the footage.
It’s sort of like seeing a video of yourself losing control of your bowels at an Ironman finish. A worthy effort, but, like most endurance events, finishing feels better than it looks.
The older one still hasn’t forgiven me for showing his birth video to him when he was older. But, the younger one finds it fascinating and watches it on his birthdays. While he does that, the rest of us make ourselves scarce.
Lesson learned!
Midwives are wonderful!
Wow!!!! Thank you so much for this article and for all the comments!!!! Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my diet and what sort of diet is best for my 6 month old. I arrived at the conclusion that a hunter/gatherer diet i.e. primal diet, makes the most sense for us. But I still wasn’t sure what to give my baby. My own instinct was that all babies needed was to nurse for the first year, or until they started to fuss and seemed to need more to fill their tummies. Well, I’m sorry to say I didn’t listen to my instinct but to my doctor instead, who recommended starting my baby on iron-fortified rice cereal at 4 MONTHS of age. At least I stuck to only letting other caregivers feed him this when I was at work and continuing to nurse him exclusively when I’m home with him.
I am so grateful I found this article when I did because now that he is 6 months we have reached another milestone where our culture says your baby should be eating more baby foods. Still, I haven’t been feeling right about this. I mean I look at the nutritional content on a jar of baby food and I know it just can’t compare to breastmilk. The big argument for introducing foods at 6 months is that iron stores are starting to be depleted–so wouldn’t it make more sense to introduce my baby to naturally iron-rich foods, like meat, or maybe make sure I eat a diet high in iron? After reading this article and these comments, I’m going to follow what my instinct has been telling me to do all along–toss the rice cereal and jars of baby foods and just keep nursing with a little bit of freshly pureed foods thrown it.
I would also like to say something on the topic of breastfeeding and working: I have been back at work full-time at a demanding job since my son was 2 months old, and besides a bit of rice cereal during the day, he continues to be exclusively breastfed. And I don’t pump throughout the day. I don’t say this so other working moms who haven’t been able to do this will feel bad, but to offer encouragement and let others know it is completely possible. Here’s how I do it: Last thing before going to work in the morning I feed my baby and then pump the rest, which he eats through the day. I also come home at lunch to nurse. He then nurses as much as he wants throughout the evening and in bed at night.
I know three other full-time working moms who are also nursing their babies exclusively. It takes commitment and there’s not much extra time in my life but I can’t imagine doing it any other way. I think it helps a lot that breastfeeding is strongly supported in America right now, at least where I live. The truth is, once you’ve got things established, your breasts will adapt to any feeding schedule because that is what they are meant to do
. For me, that means a lot of milk first thing in the morning and in the evening but that less is produced during the day.
Great conversation. My baby is almost 10 mos. She’s been breastfed and is also eating solids. I’ve not bought one single “baby food” product for her. I give her what we eat or what is laying around. She eats solids 2-3 times a day and I give her a protein and a fruit or veggie and sometimes some goat kefir or yogurt. The whole baby food industry is disgusting and when I see babies eating that junk I feel like it constitutes abuse knowing that those babies are developing a palate for foods that are destructive to them. They have no say in the matter.
I will breastfeed my girl until she wants to stop and I hope she doesn’t know what a cheerio, cupcake, cookie, or cracker is until she gets to school. My view is that I only have about 4-5 years to really lay a solid food foundation and control her diet. After she goes to school she will be exposed to so much bad food. Hopefully if she has a palate for good stuff, (veggies, proteins, no grains/sugar, etc..) she’ll not be so interested in junk food.
So moms and dads with babies, you don’t need to buy any special baby food or gadgets. If you are eating healthy just take your meals and cut up for baby. I’ve never given her purees, also. Babyled weaning is what we’ve followed. Just cut up soft or steamed finger foods starting at 6 mos and they feed themselves taking out the power struggle with eating and they get to have fun and control the experience.
I was just at a family event this weekend and had fed my baby a lunch of liver and broccoli. My sister and father-in-law said I was a mean mom for feeding such yucky food. Go figure! If I had fed cheerios or cheesy crackers they’d probably think that was right on.
I am a postpartum doula and promote breastfeeding in my work. I love most of what you’ve written and like others have mentioned I wish I would have known more when I had my first child! Thank you for promoting healthy children – through lifestyle choices.
I wonder if you might take another look at DHA and ARA formula products. I’ve learned that although these substances are found in breastmilk – the formula equivalent is not good for babies.
My 2 kids were both nursed for 26 months. Both are very healthy (no ear infections, one one stomach bug for my oldest and it was after she stopped nursing- my son has never even thrown up).
Neither had baby food. They had some fruit around 8 months old, and began eating other foods around 15 months. They did “lose their curve” on the growth charts around 9 months, but breastfed babies gain quick in the beginning and then slow down. Now their weights are between the 30-50 percentile.
I regret that they have not continued eating as healthy. They are now 5 and 3, love fruits, but also love carbs and hate meat. And the only veggies they eat are spinach and avocado in their smoothies- and tomato sauce on pizza… lol. I’m really working on this area.
It’s encouraging to read this site…
I am so lost.
I love this site, and my husband and I are switching our own diets over somewhat quickly. However, there is a 14-month-old girl to think about here.
She’s allergic to milk (has been tested). So, the allergist and pediatrician both insisted on soy milk. (Yes, I asked about almond or rice or anything but soy.) I want so badly for her to get fish oil (I took all through pregnancy and pumping/breastfeeding) but with the health issues (the allergies, heart defect, respiratory problems causing 4+ hospital visits and/or stays this year….I swear I am not a crackhead.) I am scared to give it to her straight. So, right now we do Silk with DHA and Calcium.
Any suggestions? I mean not just “switch to rice milk” or whatever, but with how careful we are trying to be to solve her various problems (or see if the heart is causing all of them, etc), I don’t want to ignore the doctors. But I think DHA is important. But I am worried about soy.
Ugh. It doesn’t help that I’m a worrier.
Oh, and I did breastfeed for a year. Actually I pumped for most of it since, due to her heart defect, despite her good latch she couldn’t pull enough milk out. It was a struggle to make it as far as I did, but it was very important to me to get her that milk one way or another.
Any thoughts on the soy/DHA/etc issue? She eats only purees still (again, not sure why – gags and throws up with any bit of texture, let alone full on solids)….so I feel she still needs something to help get her calories and vitamins.
What about So Delicious Coconut milk it has more nutrients than soy milk and is more fattening?
I know may be too late for you Michelle, but for others who have similar problems…. My baby is also Cow milk allergic, and once she weaned off breastmilk it was hard to find the right “milk” for her. She now does really well with half goats milk/ half coconut milk. Added probiotics, and infant vitamin drops. Stay far away from the soy…see Dr. Mercola’s site for reasons why.
We are doing baby-led weaning.
I breast feed two children: a 2.5 year old (1-2 times per day), and a 1 year old (on demand).
Both children eat what we eat, and have since they first began experimenting with solids.
On their own, young children are able to first learn to grasp potential food, bring it to their mouths, then chew, then swallow (non-liquids).
When purees are fed to children, they are taught to swallow before they chew…making it MORE possible for children to choke.
Both my children followed their own “blueprint” for learning to eat. They have not had pureed food, ever.
Vigilance was still required…because accidents do happen. But my 1 year old eats food that most parents could not even imagine their 1 year old eating. They get scared watching him!! It’s almost funny…
Of course, some things are better than others. Someone mentioned using carrots and chard/kale/collard stalks for teething. Meat bones = baby’s first and favorite yummy toy. Slices of pepper, cucumber, apple, raisins, nuts, meat, eggs. They can handle it all!!!(Think stick or handle shaped foods/cuts of food, for beginners)
If I’m trying to get some nutrition to my younger guy via food, I chew it for him. Though I prefer that he continue to breastfeed for most of his nutrients for a bit longer (18 mos. or so, when I will night wean).
Otherwise, I just let him practice chewing on everything!
I don’t expect him to wean completely anytime soon, though I will follow his lead.
And that’s the point of all this rambling :0)
Follow the kids lead. Instinctively they know how to survive…they just can’t do it without a little help.
Grasp. Hand to mouth. Chew. Swallow.
Mark,
Great article!
I was unable to breastfeed due to medical reasons and I’ve been researching so much for 5 months as to what is best for my wee one. She was unable to tolerate dairy formula – I tried organic baby’s only nature’s one brand. I feel so badly for her as she is now on an elemental formula including mostly corn syrup solids and chemicals. I just don’t know what to do. I’m looking into goat’s milk or homemade bone broth based hypoallergenic formula but am a bit afraid as I’m not yet working w/ a naturopath.
I just started a little bit of solids – organic pureed veg for the most part. I also purchased gluten free bob’s red mill oats and whirled them in my food processor for a good breakfast porridge. It sounds like you don’t recommend a grain? Interesting…
Anyway, I’m curious about your thoughts about a baby that cannot tolerate dairy formula. Everything on the market that is labeled ‘hypoallergenic’ is just terrible nutrition wise! The homemade formulas I’ve looked at look so wholesome and wonderful – I’m just afraid to try them.
Thank you for any advice!
humanmilk4humanbabes.com may be able to help. You can get breast milk for free from local moms who care! Good luck!
HI,
I love all the concern for kids’ health on this page. It’s so hopeful. But – there’s one thing that concerns me… so many parents are introducing SO many foods, SO early. I know that if you can’t breastfeed then we do the next best and thank goodness humankind is super resilient, but when it comes to introducing solids, I have to wonder what’s the rush? I breastfed both mind for 5 years apiece, and they thrived pretty much solely breast for the first year. That wasn’t intentional, i certainly offered…but they didn’t seem much interested (although the 2nd one was a chunky monkey on breastmilk alone, the first was pretty lean.)
I would offer them food, and because I knew that one of the most important elements of carb digestion is in the salivary amylase in our mouths, everything that went into their mouths, came out of mine.
I know, I know – Gross! right? (They are 17 and 12 now and utterly disgusted knowing that their first solid foods were prechewed by me).
Oh, and I never introduced fruit until …gosh I think past 2. Certainly NEVER juice – i think juice is awful and I certainly wouldn’t drink it – unless running an ultra, which while fun, necessitates desperate measures (like juice and pretzels!).
I ate a pretty simple diet – same thing most days, and the kids could have as much as they wanted of what I was having and they turned out great. Healthy as heck. Better – they got over the random viruses a lot quicker, probably due to nursing.
But – I still think keeping their diets as simple as possible and chewing their food is a recommendation I don’t hear enough. i hear of athletes who eat the same simple diet, year in year out and do quite well, but never the same recommendation for kids. Obviously once they start reaching for food, they are ready to start masticating on their own… but until then, I would wait to see their interest in what I’m eating and make sure I’ve “processed” it for them.
In any event, life was pretty darn simple with never a baby jar or a blender/food processor to clean.
Especially for meat… pre-chewing is essential for toddlers to ensure there are no bone chips or fish bones. Your tongue is more sensitive than a blender blade.
Of course, all this pre-chewing and watching for their interest in food, rather than starting them on solids when you decide it’s necessary presupposes that what is on your plate is good food – ideal for sharing with someone you love.
I thank my children for forcing me to shop, cook and eat clean and primal – long before it was popular and well understood – thanks to folks like Mark!
My daughter’s first solid food was yogurt. I don’t mean a carton of sugar/fruit crap either, just plain, whole milk yogurt. Her second food was mashed bananas, and her third was yogurt & bananas together.
They told me rice cereal, but that didn’t seem right to me. I never considered Rice Krispies solid nutrition for me, so didn’t see why the baby version would be good food. Any solid food I gave her was replacing my milk, so seemed like it should be good food, not just filler crap.
Her baby food was plain food, peaches, pears, beans, peas, etc., lightly steamed, pureed and frozen in ice cube trays, then stored in ziplocks.
The only baby food I bought was meats as the only ingredients were meat and water. Don’t know how it is today, but back then, you could get decent meat baby foods.
She tasted sugar for the first time in her first birthday cake. Up until then, nada, not even “natural” sugars like molasses or such. The only sugar was what was in my breast milk and what was in whole fruits I cooked to make baby food.
Today, I’d be cooking pastured meat in bone broth and introducing lightly cooked pastured egg yolks early on, and the yogurt would be my homemade raw stuff. I’ve learned a tad in the 27 years since then.
She grew up with decent tastes. I visit her and her house is full of fresh fruits and veggies, and it was like that even before she had a family. It’s “normal” to her.
I wholeheartedly agree with your stance on breastfeeding. However, I’m a loving and very responsible mom of a 3.5 year old and a 4 month old who ended up having to stop breastfeeding at 4 months for both children due to a thyroid “crash.” My autoimmune thyroid disease prevented my supply from being consistent enough to meet the demand of my babies. That being said, after regretfully feeding my daughter with organic formula for 8 months, I have spent the following 2.5 years feeding her fish oils, all organic, whole foods, made my own baby food (never store-bought anything) and have never fed her processed, sugary “kid” foods. I am proud to say she is one of the smartest kids in her preschool class (already reading at 3.5) and hardly EVER gets sick. I’m writing this because I feel the onslaught of criticism every day for not breastfeeding my babies – and as a mom who would have LOVED to do it and couldn’t, my kids are living proof that what you feed them AFTER the nursing years matters just as much. I have SO many friends who nursed their babies for over a year and now feed them sugary, processed snacks constantly. These kids are almost always sick and lack the energy of my daughter. So – just a “shout out” for the moms who are doing their best without being able to breastfeed. Thanks for taking a moment to read this and maybe think twice before judging that mom you see with a bottle of formula – you have no idea how hard she may have tried before deciding to do what is best for her baby and her own body.
I would love to see an article on the feeding of the food neophobic toddler. Mine subsists on fruit, milk, and peanutbutter sandwiches. He will refuse anything else to the point of getting sick.
Ingvildr