The “Aha” Moment: When Clarity Happens and Real Change Begins
It’s Friday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. I’ll continue to publish these each Friday as long as they keep coming in. Thank you for reading!
My wife Amy and I have been married for 14 years, we have 2 wonderful boys, I have a great job, and a nice home in a quaint city, and over the years we have been slowly falling apart.
I’m the kind of guy that carries his weight well, that’s what I’ve been told. I was active all my young life, track, football, martial arts, I could eat anything and burn it off and I always preached the best way to stay fit was exercise; the rest will take care of itself.
Amy was an average weight tomboy kid, an overweight teen and then leaned out again her senior year of high school. She played ice hockey and roller hockey in a men’s league and started to rebuild overweight self-esteem issues. Her weight loss was short lived though once she moved away from home. As a young adult in a new town alone, she returned to boredom eating. Stopping at the grocery on Friday nights after work and picking up a frozen pizza, doughnuts, and ice cream to get through a lonely weekend.
When we met in 1997. I was skinny, I was stressed and unhappy and she changed all that. Being young at heart and mind, our 16 year age difference didn’t concern me. We set up house and that’s when life started to get good. I’m a chef by profession and I’ve been told I show my love through food, by the time our first son arrived; we looked like a whole lotta love. All through her pregnancy I cooked every comfort food in my repertoire, she extreme couponed stacks of Hamburger Helper and junk foods, and I would do my magic with fresh veggies and tomato sauces, pasta 5 times a week was not unheard of and bread was usually on the menu in some form every day. My “sympathy pregnancy weight” ballooned to 225 lbs and Amy hit 250+, but we were happy, remember? We avoided mirrors and settled in with comfy pants with New Year’s resolutions in the back of our minds, until we had a picture snapped of us with our new born son at a Christmas party. It was not us, it was two people in fat suits. Our son was diagnosed with autism at 15 months old which was just another stressor added as we tried to figure out how to cope.
We spent the next 10 ten years yo-yo’ing up and down the scale. When we would try diets, I was insistent that too much sugar was our issue and Amy felt that it was too many carbs – neither us of agreeing with the other at the same time. So we would start off on our separate diets at the same time and inevitably end up sabotaging each other within a week or two – over and over. A second pregnancy and another son diagnosed on the autistic spectrum plus moving our household 5 times for various reasons over the years all factored in as well. I finally moved out of the kitchen and into a management “suit and tie position” where I suddenly found myself in front of a computer and now even the exercise of running around a kitchen had stopped and my weight tipped the 200 mark… again.
The insurance plan I was enrolled in required a physical and I secretly looked forward to it because I had started to feel something was wrong, I felt like I was closer to 70 years old rather than 50. I had problems getting out of bed, hangovers were worse, and I really felt like death warmed over most of the time. My fears were confirmed and my doctor read me the riot act about making changes in my life, so Amy and I made a plan, yeah the New Year’s resolution diet…two weeks later…5 lbs gained..back to drawing board.
February 2011 we came across your site touting a new way of thinking about how our body works and the word “diet”, and it struck a beautiful chord with us. Up until now I had always thought weight loss was all about exercise, and our new way of thinking became about what we put into our body, and sugar AND bad carbs was at the crux of it all. We tossed everything in the house that said sugar, corn syrup, or had any grain in it, and if wasn’t fresh it hit the trash.
Co-workers were less than supportive at first, lots of funny looks, scratching heads, rolling eyes, the laughter and “yeah right, caveman” comments flew everywhere. They offered up cake and candy like body snatcher pods to tempt me back into the fold on a daily basis. The headaches were non-stop; I carried 3 types of aspirin to experiment with for the dull thump of sugar withdrawal.
Life at home was much different and that made all the difference. With all the crap out of the pantry (except the kids SAD food) we had the beginnings of a culinary playground and Amy had recipes and fresh foods waiting for me when I walked in the door. All at once another positive, my creative side renewed itself, it was almost like a market basket competition from culinary school every day, and I had to find new and creative ways to make good food without sugar, bread or opening a box. We purchased several books with great recipes and experimented with eliminating or substituting SAD ingredients with Primal whole foods; it was easy and tasted great. We also started photographing and posting pictures online and the kudos from the paleo community were always welcome.
The weeks ticked by quickly and the first 30 days ended, and instead of feeling like Lent was over it felt more like jumping off the high dive, the headaches were long gone, food tasted better, my mood had improved, and I was pissing off the candy crowd. The fat suit was still wrapped around me but I felt lighter, quicker, and faster. I wasn’t having the 2:00 PM snooze desires anymore. I was actually thinking about how I could be spending my empty minutes…exercising? We added sack time and with only a few exceptions religiously cut off electronics and TV at curfew for a nine hour sleep date every night.
I think it was right about the 6-month mark was the beginning of my “aha” moment. We were eating fresh/ organic foods, grass-fed meats when we could, I was exercising at least 3 times a week, our SCOBY was getting thick and the kombucha recipe was perfect. The pictures of us were showing different people, but we were changing, too. A renewed interest in how we cared for each other and our kids was beginning to find its way into our home, and problems at work didn’t piss me off, I just solved them. I smiled more, a helluva lot more. Everything we had read was coming true and weight/diet wasn’t important anymore. We still wanted to look good naked, but everything else we were doing became the focus and weight became the by-product. We had been sitting on our asses getting heavier and letting life slip away from us, no longer wanting to fight back, and that was taking its toll on every aspect of our lives.
I can say for a fact that this past year and a half has been one of the most exciting years of my life, doors have been opened in more ways than I can say here, and I only see it getting better for the rest of our lives. I wanted to be fit and happy at 50, instead I was sick and depressed. At 53 now, I consider myself to be healthier than most 25 year olds I know and I’m still getting stronger every day. Amy looks radiant, I can’t keep my eyes off her and she grows younger and more beautiful every time I look at her. As a couple we have turned our lives around completely, and we live fearlessly now knowing we can face any challenges thrown our way (look out Mudders and CrossFitters). I can’t think of any more perfect way to spend the rest of our lives together, eating well, playing and exercising, and loving each other and our kids.
Thanks Mark for all your help and wise words, and thanks to this wonderful community we’ve become part of, I know we’ll spend our lives “Paleoing it forward” until everyone gets it like we did.
Ed Smith
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Posted By: Mark Sisson
As others have already said: A truly remarkable transformation – inspirational!
This is how we can change the whole SAD/CW paradigm the world over – one real-life success story after another!
These always make me cry! Wow!
I am so happy for ya’ll. I believe that PB is a miracle in its simplicity. Eat, move, be happy; what could be easier? I admit to jealousy that it happened so quickly for you but I know my lifestyle has a lot to do with my slow progress. You are both beautiful and I wish you continued health and happiness.
I am now going to Mark’s “Get Real” post for a nice kick in the pants…
Fantastic journey and the best is yet to come. You both are inspiring and so cute !!!!
What a Friday transformational story. You guys blew me away. I cannot believe how different people look when they are at healthy weights and vibrant and full of life. It’s sad how obesity and SAD foods make you look twice your age and probably feel at least that. Congrats to you both; keep it up!
Fantastic! I never would have believed you were in your 50′s, the change is so dramatic. Congratulations to a new healthy, happy life!
Very inspiring for this 56 year old.
I truly believe we’re only as old as we feel, and we can reverse the effects of aging at least to a point. Jack leLanne was a perfect example, he was so Paleo and we didn’t even realize it. I have found so much success in Paleo but I have a whole lot of tomorrows ahead of me and I’m going to make the best of every one of em!
Wow! You both look fantastic and I don’t just mean physically.
LOVE this story! It’s so inspiring!!! You both look amazing….and I don’t just mean the weight loss. You look healthy – glowing and happy. So happy you took your health into consideration vs. weight loss. And it will definitely help your children. I shadow a child w/autism at work (school) and know that things are black and white in most of their eyes. Your example will eventually speak louder than teachers (or anyone else for that matter) words. It will take time….as with any child….but you’re doing the right thing by phasing things into their diets rather than cold turkey. Children with autism need that “adjustment” period and I applaud you for recognizing that!
Dear Amy and Ed,
Please do not look back and think about the ‘should haves and could haves’ you did as you knew best at a certain time. And when you knew better, you did. The last thing you need is other people telling you what to do. i admire you for doing all that you did! Best of luck with your new direction and all the wonderful things that will come out off your decisions and actions. I am sure the path you both embarked on is the best for you and your family.Kind regards, another lurker, Annemiek.
Well if any middle aged fellow needed any more inspiration than Mr. Sisson this story should do it.
Both of you look terrific and are inspiring! Well done!
Congratulations – isn’t it wonderful? I also went on the diet (Atkins at the start – learned about Paleo along the way) at about the same time that you did & lost 80 lbs. As an adult I was always overweight – but not anymore. Isn’t it lifechanging?
I never could understand why I was overweight – afterall I was following the USDA guidelines…..but they fail to tell you that some people cannot maintain a normal weight with any excess carbs. If I exceed a diet defined as “low-carb”, I gain weight immediately.
Now that I’ve been “skinny” for six months & I changed jobs along the way – there are people in my life that think I’ve always been skinny and do not understand that I weighed 212 lbs 18 months ago. When I was losing weight, I received lots of attention. Now, I’m just a normal person. I’m getting used to being “normal” – but its still thrilling to walk into stores & having the size 4s fit. (I was wearing a 20 when I started.)
Have fun! I’m very happy for you.
Awesome story. I, too, have a child with Autism. The stress can be debilitating, and the excuses to not take care of yourself can be many. I’m so glad you have found a healthy lifestyle for your family. Enjoy!
I’m a newbie at all this paleo lifestyle and I love the Friday post. Ed and Amy, what an amazing transformation! Inspiring and motivating!! Almost 3 mths in and my husband has joined in! Makes it a whole lot easier. Thank you for sharing.
What a great story!!!!!! Thanks for sharing!
Wish my hubbie would stick to being a caveman even when he is on the road.
The changes in my daughter have been so good. There has been a lot less fighting except when she has been with Grandma, who thinks we are crazy.
Hope the best for the WHOLE family.
Blessings Debi
Wow – you guys totally rock! What I love about your story more that anything is the fact that you did it as a team and it reconnected you. I started my Paleo pursuit solo but a few months in my husband saw the difference and has now become a devout follower. We are having the same renewal in our relationship as you and it’s lovely! Well done and good luck moving forward.
One thing that is never talked about after switching to the paleo diet is how a person’s sex life improves about a 1000 percent. If our friends only knew. Thanks for sharing that critical piece of information. Respect to both of you.
So inspirational. Very well done!
Incredible. Ed, what’s your routine for those abs? Amazing, an inspiration for the rest of us for sure.
Thanks Joe and Carl (below), Day one of the whole 30 I could squeeze 1 pull-up and maybe a dozen push-ups. Mark has a PDF on progressive exercises and I started using that to move forward. I start each morning with “the sun salute” yoga and I have increased my push-ups to 70 a day. I know this is shoulders and pecs but great for core as well. I found a water line in our basement at work that I pass several times a day, each time I pass under I do 10 pull-ups or 10 toe-ups. I love doing V-sits with a 10lb. medicine ball and the killer is dragon flags, 3 sets of 8, that’ll get you there. When I do pull-ups I do them legs extended straight out too. Thanks
When I read your story I got tears in my eyes… it means a lot to me that people take control over their lives. Then when I read you’ve started home-educating your boys, a whole new set of emotions came up!! Wow, I love it!!!
We are a home-ed family with three kids (7, 9 & 14) who have not ever spent one day in school and I acknowledge that our shift to primal with our whole family has been easy because there wasn’t any pressure from peers at school. No lunch boxes to be made. This doesn’t mean they don’t LOVE a piece of bread when they stay with friends. But that’s totally okay with us. 95% of the time they eat primal and are living to their full potential! Hurray!!
And I guess that’s what you want for your boys; living to THEIR full potential, whatever that means. But they don’t need to be compared to anyone else.
lots of love, Irma, New Zealand
PS I’ve just finished reading ‘The Unschooling Unmanual’ and got inspired once again. Do you know it?
Yes, I finally decided to follow my mommy gut and pulled my son out of school last Christmas break. The calls from school about his behavior were becoming more numerous and peers picking on him was starting to increase. He’s reached that middle school age where peers are hard on typical kids let alone an autistic boy that enjoys talking about the behind the scenes production value of Sesame Street.
The drugs that he was on to help him focus and curb his impulsiveness were also making him pick at his body and have out of control pica issues. Asking him to attend, follow rules, be on his best behavior and to block out sensory distractions for 8 hrs a day just became too much.
Now he can sit and focus and finish his school day in about 3 hrs at home and he absolutely loves it. No extra busy work, no noisy sensory overload assembly’s, no miserable recess time.
When I was trying to make the decision, of course, everyone mentions the social interaction you get at school. The Dr said to me “Well if the social interaction he’s getting at school isn’t positive social interaction then there’s no point of that being a reason to stay”
Now he goes on field trips with students from his online school, has swimming and horseback riding lessons and positive social interactions in the community. We’ve removed one of the drugs he was on and are weaning him off the other.
I will look into the book you’ve mentioned – one can never have enough inspiration
thank you!
Funny how primal and homeschooling seem to go hand in hand. I think it has to do with starting to think outside of the box that conventional wisdom has shoved down our throats all these years…
Another inspirational gem. However could you elaborate a tad more about the exercise regime you follow. Those 6 packs looser!
Another inspirational gem. However could you elaborate a tad more about the exercise regime you follow. Those 6 packs super!
Ed & Amy: Thank you for sharing your wonderful story and also for your follow-ups in the comments section. I always appreciate when Friday folks take the time to do that.
We poured over this submission until we felt like we had said it all and pushed send, and then all the things we wished would could have said came to us,,, I did say there were so many little benefits to going Paleo that have changed our lives and that is so true.
Congrats, well done -welcome to the rest of your life!!!
This is a great story. I haven’t read all the comments but noticed a lot of comments about your children. I read your comment about not feeling guilt. I think you are right on here. It’s not your fault. Society is to blame though and I think that is something we can all agree with. We are what my holistic dentist recently described as “early adopters”. Sometimes it’s hard to keep the faith in the face of CW. I am so thankful my own issues led us, my wife and our very young children down this path. My wife and I are quietly convinced things would have been very different for one of our children. Try saying something like that on Facebook:) Congrats man!
Hi Amy,
Just wanted to chime in here to say that I also have an autistic son and, like you, I feel that my diet when I was pregnant is at least partly responsible. I was so sick (peripheral neuropathy and many other issues) when he was three that I finally changed my diet and the transformation was amazing. It’s only then that I really realized the importance of diet.
Then I finally put him on a completely Paleo diet, and he responded extremely well. This led me to find a DAN! nutritionist, who helped me do some testing to confirm that my son was extremely gluten intolerant. As you mentioned, keeping a kid on a restrictive diet is extremely difficult (especially with older kids). Having the lab test confirmation does make it easier, though.
If your kids are still having gut problems, there are lots of potential issues (other than gluten) that could be addressed. I encourage you to look into it if you are interested. Feel free to contact me if you like for information sharing/moral support (Facebook: Mary Antico in Montreal).
Great story! I feel your pain with transitioning kids. I have two with sensory processing disorder. My 7 yr old has a severe food aversion/eating disorder with oral motor delays. He will only eat around 5 foods at any given time period and they all are SAD, carb loaded processed foods. It is hard on the rest of us to see these tempting foods in our house. Everyone told us to just give him only primal foods.Well, he starved himself to malnourishment. It’s just not that black and white. Until yesterday. His allergy test results came back. He is allergic to wheat, gluten, eggs (ughh), soy, rye, peanuts, and much to my dismay coconut. The doctor looked at him and told him he could not eat those foods anymore. That meant more to him then anything I ever said. He is a rule follower. So far we have found 4 foods he can eat: organic cheese puffs, yogurt (yes, with sugar), GoGo and Enviro cereal. Not primal but much closer. He shocked me today by saying he would eat bananas. He eats zero produce and only bacon so this is a start. One thing I did that seems to help is make menu cards. I cut pictures of primal foods and if he picks one to eat, he gets a check mark. 10 marks = toy (never food reward). That also worked with my daughter. They love their menus. They also get a check mark for eating any food they see us eat. It keeps us in line knowing we have “watchers”. Much like you, I wish I had known this stuff earlier. My 2 yr old is thriving Primal but all I can do is move forward with my knowledge and try to help my other two. I highly recommend the book Mark talked about a few weeks back regarding autism. It has been so helpful! Good luck and congrats on your change.
Amazing story. Thanks for sharing. You two look so healthy and happy! Isn’t it wonderful to have a road map of how to get to that healthy place?
Dude,
VFF and abs! I love it. I just turned 52 myself and have had similar result after just a couple months of being Primal. I always thought I could exercise my way out of a not so good diet if I just worked out more… The belly fat fell off and I found my abs after a few weeks of being Primal… My Friday success story is in the works.
Congratulations to you and your wife.
Fred