The “Aha” Moment: When Clarity Happens and Real Change Begins
It’s Friday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. I’ll continue to publish these each Friday as long as they keep coming in. Thank you for reading!
My wife Amy and I have been married for 14 years, we have 2 wonderful boys, I have a great job, and a nice home in a quaint city, and over the years we have been slowly falling apart.
I’m the kind of guy that carries his weight well, that’s what I’ve been told. I was active all my young life, track, football, martial arts, I could eat anything and burn it off and I always preached the best way to stay fit was exercise; the rest will take care of itself.
Amy was an average weight tomboy kid, an overweight teen and then leaned out again her senior year of high school. She played ice hockey and roller hockey in a men’s league and started to rebuild overweight self-esteem issues. Her weight loss was short lived though once she moved away from home. As a young adult in a new town alone, she returned to boredom eating. Stopping at the grocery on Friday nights after work and picking up a frozen pizza, doughnuts, and ice cream to get through a lonely weekend.
When we met in 1997. I was skinny, I was stressed and unhappy and she changed all that. Being young at heart and mind, our 16 year age difference didn’t concern me. We set up house and that’s when life started to get good. I’m a chef by profession and I’ve been told I show my love through food, by the time our first son arrived; we looked like a whole lotta love. All through her pregnancy I cooked every comfort food in my repertoire, she extreme couponed stacks of Hamburger Helper and junk foods, and I would do my magic with fresh veggies and tomato sauces, pasta 5 times a week was not unheard of and bread was usually on the menu in some form every day. My “sympathy pregnancy weight” ballooned to 225 lbs and Amy hit 250+, but we were happy, remember? We avoided mirrors and settled in with comfy pants with New Year’s resolutions in the back of our minds, until we had a picture snapped of us with our new born son at a Christmas party. It was not us, it was two people in fat suits. Our son was diagnosed with autism at 15 months old which was just another stressor added as we tried to figure out how to cope.
We spent the next 10 ten years yo-yo’ing up and down the scale. When we would try diets, I was insistent that too much sugar was our issue and Amy felt that it was too many carbs – neither us of agreeing with the other at the same time. So we would start off on our separate diets at the same time and inevitably end up sabotaging each other within a week or two – over and over. A second pregnancy and another son diagnosed on the autistic spectrum plus moving our household 5 times for various reasons over the years all factored in as well. I finally moved out of the kitchen and into a management “suit and tie position” where I suddenly found myself in front of a computer and now even the exercise of running around a kitchen had stopped and my weight tipped the 200 mark… again.
The insurance plan I was enrolled in required a physical and I secretly looked forward to it because I had started to feel something was wrong, I felt like I was closer to 70 years old rather than 50. I had problems getting out of bed, hangovers were worse, and I really felt like death warmed over most of the time. My fears were confirmed and my doctor read me the riot act about making changes in my life, so Amy and I made a plan, yeah the New Year’s resolution diet…two weeks later…5 lbs gained..back to drawing board.
February 2011 we came across your site touting a new way of thinking about how our body works and the word “diet”, and it struck a beautiful chord with us. Up until now I had always thought weight loss was all about exercise, and our new way of thinking became about what we put into our body, and sugar AND bad carbs was at the crux of it all. We tossed everything in the house that said sugar, corn syrup, or had any grain in it, and if wasn’t fresh it hit the trash.
Co-workers were less than supportive at first, lots of funny looks, scratching heads, rolling eyes, the laughter and “yeah right, caveman” comments flew everywhere. They offered up cake and candy like body snatcher pods to tempt me back into the fold on a daily basis. The headaches were non-stop; I carried 3 types of aspirin to experiment with for the dull thump of sugar withdrawal.
Life at home was much different and that made all the difference. With all the crap out of the pantry (except the kids SAD food) we had the beginnings of a culinary playground and Amy had recipes and fresh foods waiting for me when I walked in the door. All at once another positive, my creative side renewed itself, it was almost like a market basket competition from culinary school every day, and I had to find new and creative ways to make good food without sugar, bread or opening a box. We purchased several books with great recipes and experimented with eliminating or substituting SAD ingredients with Primal whole foods; it was easy and tasted great. We also started photographing and posting pictures online and the kudos from the paleo community were always welcome.
The weeks ticked by quickly and the first 30 days ended, and instead of feeling like Lent was over it felt more like jumping off the high dive, the headaches were long gone, food tasted better, my mood had improved, and I was pissing off the candy crowd. The fat suit was still wrapped around me but I felt lighter, quicker, and faster. I wasn’t having the 2:00 PM snooze desires anymore. I was actually thinking about how I could be spending my empty minutes…exercising? We added sack time and with only a few exceptions religiously cut off electronics and TV at curfew for a nine hour sleep date every night.
I think it was right about the 6-month mark was the beginning of my “aha” moment. We were eating fresh/ organic foods, grass-fed meats when we could, I was exercising at least 3 times a week, our SCOBY was getting thick and the kombucha recipe was perfect. The pictures of us were showing different people, but we were changing, too. A renewed interest in how we cared for each other and our kids was beginning to find its way into our home, and problems at work didn’t piss me off, I just solved them. I smiled more, a helluva lot more. Everything we had read was coming true and weight/diet wasn’t important anymore. We still wanted to look good naked, but everything else we were doing became the focus and weight became the by-product. We had been sitting on our asses getting heavier and letting life slip away from us, no longer wanting to fight back, and that was taking its toll on every aspect of our lives.
I can say for a fact that this past year and a half has been one of the most exciting years of my life, doors have been opened in more ways than I can say here, and I only see it getting better for the rest of our lives. I wanted to be fit and happy at 50, instead I was sick and depressed. At 53 now, I consider myself to be healthier than most 25 year olds I know and I’m still getting stronger every day. Amy looks radiant, I can’t keep my eyes off her and she grows younger and more beautiful every time I look at her. As a couple we have turned our lives around completely, and we live fearlessly now knowing we can face any challenges thrown our way (look out Mudders and CrossFitters). I can’t think of any more perfect way to spend the rest of our lives together, eating well, playing and exercising, and loving each other and our kids.
Thanks Mark for all your help and wise words, and thanks to this wonderful community we’ve become part of, I know we’ll spend our lives “Paleoing it forward” until everyone gets it like we did.
Ed Smith
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Posted By: Mark Sisson
OUTSTANDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow….amazing.I hope I look that good at your age!!
Chase
ME TOO!! This is proof that you can actually grow YOUNGER as you age! Very impressive and so inspiring!!
What Notch said!!!!! Phenomenal You Two!!!!
Darling kids, too.
Outstanding is right! One of the best transformation stories I’ve heard!
You guys look amazing! Good work! I was curious if your kids have made the transition to Primal yet as well?
I was wondering the same, especially since paleo/primal diets have been shown in some cases to have positive effects on autism symptoms (and certainly no negative ones that I know of) – you’d think they would be ALL OVER switching their kids’ diets as well.
That was my first thought as well. I hope those kids are off the SAD stuff.
Yeah paleo also helped with my ADD; I think what helps a lot with any and all mental issues are from the carb-control that does 2 things:
1) no more reactive hypoglycaemia & compensation adrenaline spikes that mess with your thinking processes;
2) insulin spikes also temporarily boost glutamate which over-excites your brain (until your brain turns some of it into GABA which calms you again)
incidentally, MSG is literally sodium + glutamate.
Also it’s possible that things like food colourings may play a role so paleo can fix that too (I did an experiment and found red colouring actually does worsen my ADD symptoms, as studies suggest)
thank you! See my longer reply below – we are working towards transitioning the kids everyday. We have no doubt how being 100% primal would benefit them in every way
Amy
Your transformations don’t even register in my head because its so freakin dramatic. In your after pics if I didnt know yer ages I would have guessed 29, I kid you not
Fantastic story guys. You must be delighted to have discovered that life truly begins when you choose to make simple yet positive changes. Kepp it up!
Great story! It’s amazing when couples share each others health goals and learn to live like cavemen (or women)!
Truly Amazing!
Very inspirational, and what a transformation. You both looked old and tired in the Feb 2011 pics and now – wow! watch out!
One question: you mentioned your kids are on the autistic spectrum, yet you kept SAD foods around for them. Have you considered transitioning them as well? If you’ve started down that path, do you seem improvement at all in their symptoms?
My kids have made big strides along with us – but they are not there yet. They were both born extremely picky eaters and would eat only a few foods from the start. Back in 2002 we tried a gluten free/casein free diet for my 1st son to help with bowel issues and it did not and we gave up because it was “just too hard”. Had we only switched the whole family over then,…. this would have been a very different story,…. Or had we being following a primal diet from the start I very well might not have had two autistic sons to begin with.
We are always moving them towards our way of eating – but as we went cold turkey 100% primal – that method wont work for them so it has been a gradual process of removing and not replacing SAD food as much as possible.
Yes we actually hate to look at the before Feb 2011 photos – we weren’t sticking it out for the camera and its shocking to see just how miserable we looked.
thanks for your nice comments!
This is a wonderful story. I am an ABA therapist in a school for autism and I believe proper diet can do wonders for any kid, let alone one on the autism spectrum. Eating can be so tough for these little guys–you two are phenomenal for doing what you do! Keep trying, delve into eating therapies for your little guys if you can….thanks for putting this story out there!
+1 to this. I have also worked with kids using ABA therapy and food can be a real challenge. Props to you guys for all the strides you’ve made for yourselves and the ongoing work to transition the boys. I’m sending loads of encouragement your way!! BTW, you both look awesome!!! So much younger and fresher!
Thank you for understanding that it is not just a simple as yanking bad foods from them.
We are being positive role models, leading by example, and explaining why we are making the food choices that we are.
One battle we have been fighting is that my 11 yr old was being kind of brain washed by the school system and arguing with us about the govt food pyramid and what his teachers told him was the proper things to eat (whole grains etc). As you know with most autistic people everything is black or white there is no gray….If a teacher teaches you something,..then it must be true,..so that has been an issue.
Fortunately this year we started home schooling him and it has been one of the best decision we’ve ever made
I think it is great that you are recommending a paleo/primal/GAPS diet to help with certain symptoms of autism as one individual to another. But, attaching the ABA name to these recommendations is going down a slippery slope. I don’t want to be a downer but ABA prides itself on empirical evidence that shows behavior change in replicated single subject designs. ABA is a fantastic tool, but there are no empirical studies in the behavior analytic literature at this point that support using these diet’s as preferred methods for behavior change.
Congrats! You guys look fantastic and I’m so happy for your family!
Have you heard of the GAPS diet? The book is Gut and Psychology Syndrome by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride and is a specially designed diet for children with autism. The food fits right in with the primal guidelines, with extra emphasis on bone broth soups and fermented foods, and has tips for picky eaters. Best of luck!
I was going to mention GAPS!! There are so many parents out there right now healing their children with this diet!! It’s by no means easy but since you guys are Paleo it would mean very few changes and the results I read about are simply miraculous. You guys look awesome!!!
This is my first time responding after lurking for a while, but I just wanted to say to you Amy that you and your family are fantastic (amazing transformations) and also say in regards to your “Or had we being following a primal diet from the start I very well might not have had two autistic sons to begin with.” comment: I can only hope you are SUPER nice to yourself. Speaking as a mother myself I know it is very easy for me to take on things that are not really mine to take. I send hugs and much support!
thank you Julia for your kind words.
I think primal has both opened my eyes and helped me get past mistakes I’ve made.
Yes, I do believe that diet and environmental toxins along with genetic factors are going to one day be proven to be the cause of autism.
Yes hindsight is 20/20 and I would make some MAJOR changes pre-pregnancy if I had the chance to do it over again.
But I have been given two beautiful boys that have taught me all about patience and tolerance for those with special needs and I wouldn’t change them for the world despite any of the difficulties over the years.
Saw a great documentary not so long ago called “Loving Lamp Posts” which was about embracing and accepting autism and autistic people for who they rather than constantly fighting it – It really made a big impact on me and helped me get over a lot of the guilt I had been carrying around for years feeling like I wasn’t doing enough to help them.
What a wonderful and inspiring story! It’s impressive to me that despite all of the stress you were experiencing with your sons’ overwhelming conditions, you found the time and energy to improve your health. My 4 year old daughter is on the Autism Spectrum and I also firmly believe that had I eaten Paleo/Primal earlier in my life, she would not be struggling. Best of luck transitioning your kids and thanks for sharing your story
I too was wondering about the diet of your 2 young boys because I too have 2 kids with autism. My son is extremely picky, food averse and has only had 3 foods he will tollerate since he began solids – he is now 6. I wasn’t able to do GF/CF until his communication improved to the point when I could actually slightly negotiate with him. At that point, about 1.5 years ago, I began making GF/CF substitutions for his 3 bad foods. So instead of mac and cheese I make rice mac w/brewers yeast cheez. I make his own bread out of tapioca starch and I have a couple other substitutions. Its far from a Paleo diet, but at least it gets the gluten out, which it turns out he was highly allergic to milk, gluten and wheat on his allergy panels. He has improved about 50%, but I also have him on the NIDS/golberg protocol. Paleo could be in his future someday when his food preferences start easing.
My daughter is entirely recovered from autism. Recovery is possible and it can happen. Diet is very important but as we both know, it can be next to impossible with these self restriced eaters. Many people don’t understand that these kids have the tenacity to go for days without eating if they don’t get their preferred foods. My son went for 4 days before I gave in because he became a skeleton. Anyhow, you guys look fabulous and you will get your kids onto the diet when it becomes possible.
I just wanted to add my experience with autism and paleo. My son, 9 years old with Down Syndrome and autism, was a horrendously picky eater. He would only eat cereal, bread, pasta, rice and bananas. I once left him with my mother in law for a long weekend and he eat nothing but cereal for three days. A little over a year ago we discovered the Gaps diet, and determined to do anything to help him, we got started. We went slowly and discovered that he actually loved scrambled eggs, then hamburger patties, then roasted chicken, even meatballs in bone broth and now he loves homemade kefir with a little honey mixed in! He has made many improvements and it is slow going but just as you two have found a whole new outlook on life, we have found the same with our little boy. It can be overwhelming at first but as you already have experience with Paleo, the transition will be much easier. Good luck to both of you and your beautiful boys!
Another thing I wanted to add about autism and recovery, just to illustrate how far we are from mainstream with this diet stuff. My husband and I recently visited a special education school that specializes in autism disorders. Interesting, we thought, let’s check it out. We really liked the director, a young, dynamic woman who seemed really on the ball. When I mentioned diet and autism and how someone I knew had recovered their child with the Gaps diet, she replied: Oh, well, then they weren’t really autistic!
I love how in the “before” pics he’s in casts (tennis shoes) but in the “after” pics he’s in VFF. Keep up the good work. You are an inspiration!
I would sleep in VFF’s if I could..
I wish Minimal shoes fit on me…the top part isn’t high enough on any of them.
I hope my feet shrink enough as my weight goes down or they introduce more models.
Inov8 Bare-XF 260 These might work. Google them.
Not even the new LS series? I had the same issue (plus wide feet), and the laces fixed that. I got the komodosport, and it seems to be working well, although I wouldn’t advise things like tennis on concrete because I put a small hole in them doing that haha.
I’ve found vivo barefoot are pretty amazing as far as ‘barefoot’ shoes are concerned. Not with toes- they look more ‘normal’- but I bought another two pairs this morning after my pair first two weeks ago.
Awes. Love them.
Me too. It’s so amazing feeling the ground everywhere you go!
Im becoming a VFF user. When I go to the grocery store I wear em, I wear em walking now and I even wear em to work (I work in a call center
Fabulous!
I love this story. My husband and I (and our son) have been living a Primal life for the last 3 months and the change is so amazing. I can’t imagine what we will look like in a year’s time. We weren’t over weight to begin with, but we have both leaned out significantly and have bodies that rival what we looked like in our 20′s. It’s awesome.
It was my husband’s idea to go Primal. On March 16 he came home, handed me TPB and said, “I’m doing this.” He didn’t want to force it on me, but as I looked at the book, it was one of those moments where I knew this was something big (divine inspiration?) and said, “OK.” THAT was A Life Changing Moment.
We never looked back and never felt or looked better in our lives. I was always a gym rat, so I lost 9 lbs in 6 weeks, and have been holding steady ever since (while still looking and feeling better every day). He has lost 26 and is still going (and also looking and feeling better every day).
It really IS awesome.
Wow, in the before photo you look like you could be the father of the person in the after photo! Remarkable changes for both of you!!! You and your wife look so healthy and trim. What you gave up was a small price to pay for all you gained in health and fitness. Good job!
Thanks! It’s truley about breaking that cycle that is SAD food and I feel for people who don’t have that support system we have. Both Amy and I are working out in classes or at home where we have built a good home gym
What do you do to get your abs that strong? I do Starting Strength, but there aren’t really ab exercises in that program.
Day one of the whole 30 I could squeeze 1 pull-up and maybe a dozen push-ups. Mark has a PDF on progressive exercises and I started using that to move forward. I start each morning with “the sun salute” yoga and I have increased my push-ups to 70 a day. I know this is shoulders and pecs but great for core as well. I found a water line in our basement at work that I pass several times a day, each time I pass under I do 10 pull-ups or 10 toe-ups. I love doing V-sits with a 10lb. medicine ball and the killer is dragon flags, 3 sets of 8, that’ll get you there. When I do pull-ups I do them legs extended straight out too. Thanks
What a transformation! You both look amazing and SO healthy compared to the first set of pictures. Thanks for sharing your story!
Outstanding results to you, Amy and Ed
Ah, man! You look fantastic in the July 2012 beach picture. Way to go Ed!
I love Fridays.
Yeah, hasn’t been a bad story yet. Not sure it’s possible in fact.
Complete transformation! So inspired!
Wow! If my husband made that transformation, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of him. (And if I was eating primal, I would have the energy to follow up.) Looks like I need to finish convincing him this is the right thing to do and get us started on this lifestyle pronto!
Thanks! Yes our sex life wasn’t bad before, but it was sporadic. We are like a couple of teenagers now, a definite added extra!
*makes mental note* Will be talking to my husband tonight about going primal…
You guys look awesome! I am blown away!
Way to go!
I’m not a cry baby but I had to hold it back as I read your story. A living testament and puts a whole new spin on being reborn. Thank you for inspiring us. I’m 62 and have only been on primal for a couple of months but noticed a difference within two weeks. I’m actually sprinting now and using mucsles I haven’t used in 35 years. Can’t imagine what it’s going to look like in a year.
The best to you and your family.
Thank you and I’m looking forward to seeing your pictures next year… Paleo until we drop dead is our motto now.
Wowee! You look fantastic both of you and in such a short period of time. And with the stresses that you deal with, I salute you. Your story is going to get me off my backside this morning, that’s for sure. Congratulations!
So inspiring! Good for you guys!! Very happy for you both.
WOW!!!!!!!! Amazing transformations. Primal Power FTW
Awesome congrats to you both!
I am here with tears in my eyes. I love how things just became easier because you felt better. I love that you smile more. So beautiful. Thanks for sharing your journey.
This resonated with me too. I read it with a smile and a laugh. It is good to be a joyful animal again.
It’s so wonderful to see the transformation in your relationship as well as the physical transormation! Going from sabotaging each other’s diets to being on the same page and becoming a united front against CRAP… so inspiring
Thanks for sharing your story.
You two are a beautiful couple. Congratulations on finding each other and turning your lives around
Your story just made me feel so good. Congratulations on your success and new found life!
Awesome!!
Wow! Inspiring!!
Wow.