Where to begin? My earliest memories of food and health started, of course, with family. I remember that my mother was never happy with her weight and was always on some sort of diet. As a little girl, I remember the Slim Fast shakes, the diet pills that would “puff up” in your stomach, leaving no room for food (genius, I thought, as a 6 year old), and the food restriction. Meanwhile, my sister, my father and I would feast on fish sticks, rice a roni, and vitamin D milk. This had little impact on me as a child, but stayed with me through adulthood.
I was never overweight. I was always thin and had muscularity thanks to genetics. Without lifting a finger, I had biceps that wowed the other kids at school. I took up athletics, and ran track, played volleyball, and played as kids do. I ate what was put in front of me and always cleaned my plate. Weight wasn’t so much a concern of mine, but it was always there, lurking in the back of my mind, memories of my mother and her struggles.
About 4 years ago, I went shopping with my mom and my sister. There were these awesome blue velvet pants that I HAD to have. Size 4. I was always a size four, no problem. Went to try them on just as a matter of duty, and they didn’t fit. Come to think of it, none of my jeans fit anymore either. That day was it for me. A turning point and the beginning of a very dark time. That day, I became anorexic. I restricted myself to 800-1000 calories a day, and began working out like no one’s business. I lost the weight, but the CR and exercise didn’t stop. I don’t want to go into details, I am not the “poor me” type. I got down to a zero, and it was easy because people kept telling me how great I looked. Finally, I found Marks Daily Apple and a trainer. I was able to realize that skinny didn’t equal healthy. Anorexia is mostly about control and obsession. While any obsession isn’t healthy, I was able to at least begin to control a diet that was healthier for me than what I was doing.
I’ve been eating primally now for about 2 years. I am a size 4 again, and thanks to heavy lifting and a great trainer, and boxing, I have replaced the desire to look stick thin with the desire to have the best muscularity on the block.
Pictures will not accompany this letter because I still struggle with my body image. Every day is a fight, and I still spend more time thinking about food than any human being should. But, thanks to Mark, I am healthy and everyday trying to follow the 10 tenants. I am still working on stress and fitting in play, but I am confident that day will come.
This thank you is long overdue. Mark, you may have saved my life. Thank you.
Wendy, aka PrimalJewishAmericanPrincess