Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
3 Jan

Scientists Perplexed: Issue ‘Impossible Calorie Award’

Wow!

We had to bring in an auxiliary team of researchers just to help us out with this one. (They were not from Denmark.) Chili’s restaurant offers so many impossibly caloric meals, two scientists resigned in protest and a third left only a note with the words “I fold” written shakily in the lower left corner.

Exhibit A: The entire selection of burgers – without fries. Enough calories to terrify petri dishes everywhere.

Available to everyone at Chili's site

Exhibit B: Chili’s “Favorites”. Enough calories to ensure every man, woman and child has a heart attack.

Taken from Chili's nutrition pdf

Exhibit C: By far the most ridiculous high-calorie item we have discovered…anywhere. on. planet. earth. Supplying 2.5 days’ worth of calories, the “Awesome Blossom” truly offers some serious awe. 2,700 calories? 203 grams of fat? Six thousand mg’s of sodium?

“Awesome” is often used in the modern patois to denote “cool” or “wow” or “kinda better than average I guess.” We’d like to congratulate Chili’s Restaurant for producing a food product with an astoundingly accurate name – because words mean things. Thanks, Chili’s.

truly awesome

You want comments? We got comments:

Imagine you’re George Clooney. Take a moment to admire your grooming and wit. Okay, now imagine someone walks up to you and asks, “What’s your name?” You say, “I’m George Clooney.” Or maybe you say, “I’m the Clooninator!” You don’t say “I’m George of George Clooney Sells Movies Blog” and you certainly don’t say, “I’m Clooney Weight Loss Plan”. So while spam is technically meat, it ain’t anywhere near Primal. Please nickname yourself something your friends would call you.

© 2015 Mark's Daily Apple

Subscribe to the Newsletter and Get a Free Copy
of Mark Sisson's Fitness eBook and more!