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Let me introduce myself. My name is Mark Sisson. I’m 63 years young. I live and work in Malibu, California. In a past life I was a professional marathoner and triathlete. Now my life goal is to help 100 million people get healthy. I started this blog in 2006 to empower people to take full responsibility for their own health and enjoyment of life by investigating, discussing, and critically rethinking everything we’ve assumed to be true about health and wellness...

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January 03, 2007

Scientists Perplexed: Issue ‘Impossible Calorie Award’

By Sara


We had to bring in an auxiliary team of researchers just to help us out with this one. (They were not from Denmark.) Chili’s restaurant offers so many impossibly caloric meals, two scientists resigned in protest and a third left only a note with the words “I fold” written shakily in the lower left corner.

Exhibit A: The entire selection of burgers – without fries. Enough calories to terrify petri dishes everywhere.

Available to everyone at Chili's site

Exhibit B: Chili’s “Favorites”. Enough calories to ensure every man, woman and child has a heart attack.

Taken from Chili's nutrition pdf

Exhibit C: By far the most ridiculous high-calorie item we have discovered…anywhere. on. planet. earth. Supplying 2.5 days’ worth of calories, the “Awesome Blossom” truly offers some serious awe. 2,700 calories? 203 grams of fat? Six thousand mg’s of sodium?

“Awesome” is often used in the modern patois to denote “cool” or “wow” or “kinda better than average I guess.” We’d like to congratulate Chili’s Restaurant for producing a food product with an astoundingly accurate name – because words mean things. Thanks, Chili’s.

truly awesome

TAGS:  humor

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