Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
25 Apr

Rotten Apple Award

rotten apple 03

This month’s Rotten Apple Award goes to The Apple Patch Diet, the next gimmicky weight-loss device in a long line of quack products.

All you have to do is slap a patch on your body to start this “diet” and watch the fat melt away. I’m not sure how a patch of any sort counts as a diet. Though I suppose if you subsisted on patches alone you would lose weight. Let us see what the users have to say.

The “Testimonials” are varied and claim a 10 pound weight loss in one month, an 80 pound weight loss since July 2006, and as “Baig” from Virginia states, “my sugar level (Diabetes) is under control and I am very happy.” Rapid weight loss with little to no effort! Quick and easy regulation of sugar levels! Unbelievable testimonials! Before and after pics! It sounds too good to be true! Hmmm… this sounds familiar.

Clearly a product that can do all this has some solid scientific research to back it. Well, yes and no. The ‘Why it works’ section is limited to these three fine answers: “we only use the finest natural ingredients,” we have “amazing weight loss testimonials,” and “we use a transdermal method of delivery.” With a word like transdermal this stuff must work. Right?

To be fair the “Ingredients” section does give more detailed information about the three ingredients used to solve your weight problems. Look closely and you will find that one of the three exotic sounding components, Guarana extract, is essentially plain old caffeine. Caffeine is not exactly a groundbreaking weight-loss supplement, nor is it something with which most people need to supplement their diets. I don’t know about you, but my daily green tea provides all the caffeine I need.

Quite possibly the worst thing about this product is that it gives apples a bad name – something in these parts we take very seriously.

Don’t buy into these gimmicky weight-loss devices Apples. This product is more about the supplement delivery system (transdermal) than it is the supplements themselves. And there is still no substitute for a balanced diet and regular exercise.

We’re watching you, Apple Patch Diet.

(This is the part where I lift up my shirt, ceremoniously denoting the end of this diatribe.)

You want comments? We got comments:

Imagine you’re George Clooney. Take a moment to admire your grooming and wit. Okay, now imagine someone walks up to you and asks, “What’s your name?” You say, “I’m George Clooney.” Or maybe you say, “I’m the Clooninator!” You don’t say “I’m George of George Clooney Sells Movies Blog” and you certainly don’t say, “I’m Clooney Weight Loss Plan”. So while spam is technically meat, it ain’t anywhere near Primal. Please nickname yourself something your friends would call you.

  1. Hey- wait a minute… I know EXACTLY what your talking about~ these people are crooks. To think I even used to work for them, once I realized that the product didn’t even work I quit! I’m NOT going to support something that is false, or even misleading. I guarentee ever person and “testimonial” you see on that page is fake. Heck- they were even asking me to give testimonials and I have NEVER used there product- they even bribed me by trying to pay me $100 dollars. Yah know- for that price I could have done it but there is absolutely NO dignity in that~ and it would have made me just as bad as them…… so…. I think that these people deserve the biggest, rottenest, smellest apple you got! have a great day ++;))

    kris wrote on April 29th, 2008

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