Rejected Food Pyramids
The USDA recently released a report outlining dietary guidelines for 2010. While the new guide has not been finalized, one thing is for certain, the food pyramid is in need of an upgrade. The classic, 1992 food pyramid was scrapped five years ago. Apparently someone in the government figured out that 10 cups of grains a day was not solving the obesity epidemic. The 2005 food pyramid (shown right, click to enlarge) wasn’t much better, not so much a pyramid as a cacophony of clip art and food photos clustered under colorful disco rays. Seriously, the milk section includes transparent cheese. Is that a new Kraft product?
Fortunately, the USDA is currently accepting comments and opinions about their new health guideline. I am considering submitting my own pyramid for review. In preparation, the Worker Bees have collected other food pyramids submitted by various health professionals and concerned citizens. I have learned that all of the following have been rejected and will not be recommended as adequate diet guidelines for the average American, though several were heavily considered.
Submitted by: Taco Bell committee for enhealthenment
Submitted by: K. Bacon
Submitted by: H. Lector
Submitted by: Anonymous (of 215 S. Sesame Street)
Submitted by: Domino’s Pizza United Feed the Children Campaign
Submitted by: International Rambo Enemy Coalition
Submitted by: Anonymous (of 9th Circle Cafe, Hades)
Submitted by: P. McCartney, J. Lennon, G. Harrison, R. Star
Food Pyramid Contest
I wonder what other food pyramids exist out there. Maybe you can help. In the comment board share your own findings. List the contents of the food pyramid and who created the pyramid for a chance to win a Grok On! Kleen Kanteen. For example, here’s another one The Worker Bees found:
Submitted by: Chuck Norris
Whoop ass (4-6 cans/day)
You (for breakfast, 2-3 servings)
Nothing (Chuck Norris doesn’t need food)
The Worker Bees will choose a winner Monday morning.
I have a hunch that whatever you find I’ll be sticking with The Primal Blueprint Food Pyramid. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful Friday!
UDPATE:
It was no easy task, but the winning food pyramid submission goes to…
Russell with his Buddy the Elf Pyramid:
Candy (as much as you want)
Candy canes (as much as you want)
Candy corns (as much as you want)
Syrup (as much as you want)
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Posted By: Mark Sisson
“Submitted by: P. McCarthy, J. Lennon, G. Harrison, R. Star”
One Mr. MCCARTNEY will surely not be impressed.
That’s SIR McCartney to you.
My bad! I do beg your pardon.
LOL! I’ve got one on my laptop’s hard drive to submit to the worker bees.
Actually, mine’s already a graphic. Any possibility of submitting it as is?
I just emailed you at the email address you used to post this comment with instructions on how to submit your pic, Aaron. Grok on!
Thanks! I sent it in. My pyramid is really simple, which probably means the USDA would reject it. Nutrition can’t be that easy, after all. It would undermine their authority.
Here’s a link to Aaron’s pyramid:
http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg158/MDA2008/MDA2009/RealFoodTriangle.jpg
Mark,
Where can I buy my Grok On! Kleen Kanteen????
This has been on my wish list but I did not know there was a Grok on” version. I want one…. NOW!
I have a limited supply at the moment, but may offer what I have at PB.com soon. Stay tuned.
If there is enough interest I may be able to make them permanently available. Thoughts, everyone?
I would love to get one of those man !!!
I would buy one….
I would buy a few Grok On! Kleen Kanteens!! That would be awesome!
I would buy one!
I already have 3 kleen kanteens and I would still buy one!
WOULD!!
“I Want it Now!” …said in her best Veruca Salt voice.
Yeppers, add me to the potential buyers list! Especially if it has the Grok graphic and not just the words.
Count me in for one as well.
I’d buy one, too!
Hey, count me in for a half dozen – my xmas shopping will be done for the year!
I almost put a pic of mine on here for you to post but I didn’t want you to be bombarded with request for them
If you make one in a style I can use on my bicycle, I’m in! Those are hard to find.
Definitely Wanting!
Also would purchase
Count me in!
Very funny.
There must be a chocolate lovers pyramid out there somewhere.
HOLY SH*#, THAT IS FUNNY
Submitted by: Shooter McGavin
Pieces of s*** like you (for breakfast)
You eat pieces of sh*t for breakfast?!
NOooo…
Hah! Is this the *new* friday theme? Primal comedy club? I grokkin love it!
Submitted by: Weezer
Candy (1-2 servings)
Pork (2-3 servings)
Beans (2-3 servings)
Submitted by: M. Tyson
Lennox Lewis’ Children (2 servings)
Also:
Evander Holyfield’s ear (1/4 serving)
That’s hilarious!
I also really enjoyed the bacon and bacon wrapped non bacons pyramid
Tyson pyramid = awesomeness!
An interesting pyramid, “Why a Salad Costs more than a Big Mac” – http://www.livingtheamericangreen.org/?p=955
And a funny “Food Pentagram” – http://theoubliette.blogspot.com/2005_01_01_archive.html
Oops the food pentagram is this link – http://theoubliette.blogspot.com/2005/01/yet-another-way-were-all-not-eating.html
Hi Mark
Could you please link me to the report you are talking about – the one from USDA?
Hope you’ll make a new post, when they release the new pyramid.
Keep up the good work
Regards
Jesper
On a serious note Mark, please do send your Blueprint piramid along w/ all the back up you have lol.
Cute.. but not very useful. Sorry for being a crumudgeon today but I look forward everyday to the daily MDA post for valuable information to help me on my quest for health. This just doesn’t make the cut.
Maybe one of the 2,000+ articles in the archives will suit you today. That is, unless you’ve read all of them…
Wow, laughter is the best natural medicine in the world. I hope you are not that serious!!! That would suck all the fun out of life….
And human memory being what it is, even having read them all, a quick re-read could never hurt. double wink
Well, I won’t claim to have read them all but I have read alot of them. And I will try to lighten up.. so here is my own old, pre-Grok, food pyramid.
Top – Dairy (Haagen-Dazs, Quart+ Daily)
Middle – Pasta, Pasta, Pasta (5 servings)
Bottom – Pizza, Pizza, Pizza (bound to give you a big bottom)
That’s better simon. That pyramid looks frighteningly familiar!
here’s one that may actually be useful
http://www.nourishingourchildren.org/Pyramid.html
That’s a cool and very un-CW pyramid, Kristen. Swipe the grains part off the picture and you have a PB pyramid!
That bacon pyramid had me laughing out loud. Referring to all other foods as “non-bacon” is sheer genius!
You mean there’s such a thing as non-bacon??? Is that even possible???
think of it as bacon condiments.
Also, add me and my hubby to the list of buyers of the Kleen Canteen…….
I am slowly converting him over to be Caveman Rob.
My personal food pyramid would contain meat, cheese and red wine.
Thanks for the smile today. My husband and I are enjoying this new primal lifestyle – 3 weeks in! I love your light-hearted, practical, fun approach. My favorite part so far is getting up from a meal energized to do something, rather than want to go sleep. Wonderful!
submitted by: The Dude
8-9 white russians
2-3 joints
1 carpet
Love It!
MARIO KART FOOD PRYAMID
2.5%-Epileptic seizures
2.5%-Childhood obesity
10%- Red Turtle Shells
15%- Regular power ups
20%- Speed
50%- Fast moving primary colors
I don’t have a pyramid, as I went to grade school back in the “Four Basic Food Groups” era. I have my own “Four Basic Food Groups” (arranged in my mind in a tidy little square with bright primary colors.)I try to balance my four groups each day. Note that only 1/4th of my intake comes from the “other” group.
Beef Group
Pork Group
Chicken Group
Other Group – this includes eggs, nuts, greens, berries and dairy products. (Sort of a square-within-a-square…)
And I would love a Grok kleen kanteen.
OMG 4-4-3-2! Only four servings of grain were required in the ’70s.
hehehe this made me laugh so hard! Laughter really is the best medicine!
On a related note, I just found a food pyrimid the other day over at paleohacks.com that I really liked…hopefully I saved that link! Mark’s food pyrimid is also awesome, and is displayed on the wall in our computer room!
If global warming, volcanoes, asteroids or martians come here to take a lunch, maybe they could consider this one :
Humans = (1 Bilion should be enough)
Animals, insects ====
plants, trees… ======
Bacteria & fungi ========
It’s up to you to figure it as “they should not eat more than 1 billion of us”, or as “there should not be more than 1 bilion of us on earth to be eaten”
My co-workers and I just burst into laughter at the “Bacon Pyramid”. We all agreed that it was missing a bit, possibly the very tip of the pyramid: bacon wrapped in bacon. Nom!
http://www.bbqaddicts.com/blog/recipes/bacon-explosion/
That should satisfy your requirement!
All I could think of was the “bacon explosion” recipe – a bacon roll w/ pork and chopped bacon in the middle. Surely that belongs at the pinnacle of the bacon pyramid!
Submitted by R. McDonald:
3 servings of filler daily (extra ammonia for those wishing to avoid sickness)
A quick Google search turned up a “Vegan Pyramid” over at Wikimedia Commons. Ingredients, in layers from bottom to top (I’ve excerpted some of the suggested foods):
Grains, 6 servings: bread 1 slice; 1/2C cooked grain or cereal; ready-to-eat cereal 1oz.
Legumes, nuts and other protein-rich foods, 5 servings: cooked beans, peas or lentils 1/2C; tofu or tempeh 1/2C; nut or seed butter 2Tbsp
Vegetables, 4 servings: cooked vegetables 1/2C; raw vegetables 1 C; vegetable juice 1/2C
Fruits, 2 servings: one medium fruit; cut up or cooked fruit 1/2C; fruit juice 1/2C, dried fruit 1/4 C
Fats, 2 servings: oil, margarine 1tsp.
Link here: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Vegan_food_pyramid.svg
Just reading this makes every cell in my body scream “noooooooooo”!
Submitted by B. Marley
Two joints (morning)
Two joints (afternoon)
Two joints (night)
The Buddy the Elf pyramid:
Candy (as much as you want)
Candy canes (as much as you want)
Candy corns (as much as you want)
Syrup (as much as you want)
The REAL Department of Agriculture food pyramid:
Real food (use sparingly)
Processed wheat products (3-5 servings)
Processed soy products (4-6 servings)
Processed corn products (9-14 servings)