Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
19 Aug

Primal Quotable Quips

It’s hard to go anywhere in the nutritional blogosphere without happening across that ubiquitous Michael Pollan quote being bandied about: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” I like Pollan, and I mostly agree with said quote (though I’d add, at the very least, “and plenty of animals”). It made me think that perhaps the Primal community would be well served with a reservoir of instant quips. So on the heels of last week’s related post (fantastic Grokkus, by the way) I threw these together. Use them to quickly explain the Primal stance to friends and family. Live by them and thrive.

Eat food. Only when hungry. Mostly plants and animals.

Our genes prefer us to be lean, fit, strong and happy. Let them have their way.

The world is your gym. Try to go every day. Guest passes are free.

Make your long, slow workouts longer and slower and your hard, fast workouts harder and faster.

The weird looks mean you’re doing something right.

Eat food a hunter-gatherer would recognize.

If it’s only been available to mankind for less than a hundred years, don’t eat it.

Living to eat doesn’t necessary preclude eating to live.

Eat when you’re hungry (or not) and drink when you’re thirsty.

You can lead Grok to water, but you can’t make him drink (unless he’s thirsty).

Results speak louder than words.

Eat things with a lifespan.

Facts are often no match for Conventional Wisdom, which is why they need our support more than ever.

What would Grok do?

Animal fat makes everything better.

Don’t underestimate the importance of sleep.

Lift heavy things. Not too often. Mostly compound movements.

Do pull-ups whenever possible. Any ledge, pole, or tree branch will do.

When your only tool is a sledgehammer, the whole world looks like a used tire.

Contrary to popular belief, the sun is not the enemy.

Life may not be fair, but it sure is fun. Adapt or get dropped.

Adaptation to the diet that’s killing us might happen eventually, but don’t be a guinea pig for natural selection. Thrive and prosper in this lifetime.

Diets are hard work, but eating the foods we’re adapted to eat is a true pleasure.

When looking at a study, always ask, “What kind of fats?”, “Were carbs taken into account?”, and “Who funded it?”

Only eat food that you could make yourself at home with minimal equipment. Butter can be churned and sausages can be ground, but can you make a Twinkie?

If you can’t pronounce the ingredient list, it’s not worth putting into your body.

Why subject oneself to watered down foot binding? Go barefoot.

Here are a few irreverent Worker Bee additions to round things out:

They say grains are healthy. Kind of like they used to say Crisco was healthy. And cocaine.

Go Primal. Because diets aren’t worth dying for.

You wouldn’t fly in a rocket built by a chef, so why would you eat food built by scientists?

You ever see a bunch of kids going nuts at a playground? It’s like that.

Some people claim the Primal Blueprint eating plan is elitist. They’re right.

I thought about trying Vegan, but cannibalism is outlawed.

Go Primal: It’s not a diet, it’s a frickin’ lifestyle.

When it comes to running, it’s not length that matters, but how hard it is.

What do you think? Got any more?

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Imagine you’re George Clooney. Take a moment to admire your grooming and wit. Okay, now imagine someone walks up to you and asks, “What’s your name?” You say, “I’m George Clooney.” Or maybe you say, “I’m the Clooninator!” You don’t say “I’m George of George Clooney Sells Movies Blog” and you certainly don’t say, “I’m Clooney Weight Loss Plan”. So while spam is technically meat, it ain’t anywhere near Primal. Please nickname yourself something your friends would call you.

  1. Eat foods your ancestors might have eaten. Minus the grains. Play like your children. Only harder sometimes.

    dml wrote on August 19th, 2009
  2. “Live Primal, your genes will fit better.”

    Mike H. wrote on August 19th, 2009
  3. Primal eating: the one truly conservative approach to your diet.

    Wiwo wrote on August 19th, 2009
  4. Real people eat real food

    Laurel wrote on August 19th, 2009
  5. Dietary fat doesn’t make you fat.

    arthurb999 wrote on August 19th, 2009
  6. Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny- start thinking Primal.

    Arturo wrote on August 19th, 2009
  7. You have teeth and a digestive system like a carnivore for a reason. Eat meat.

    lbd wrote on August 19th, 2009
  8. Primal: tuning out conventional wisdom and tuning in to your body and your soul.

    Geoff wrote on August 19th, 2009
  9. Chase it, kill it, lift it, eat it, welcome to my primal life.

    JUPITER BOONE wrote on August 19th, 2009
    • I read this one to the tune of Daft Punk’s “Technologic.”

      Min wrote on August 19th, 2009
  10. Go Primal: Think outside [the highly processed foods] box.

    Autumn wrote on August 19th, 2009
  11. When shopping with the seedlings, “Not caveman approved!”

    smc2009 wrote on August 19th, 2009
  12. Eat meat. Not too lean. Mostly red.

    Shannon wrote on August 19th, 2009
    • Love it!

      maba wrote on August 19th, 2009
  13. Eat animals and not food that’s mascot is an animal (i.e. cereals.

    Clint wrote on August 19th, 2009
  14. Paleo IS preventative medicine.

    JT wrote on August 19th, 2009
  15. 1. If we were meant to be fat it wouldn’t hurt so much or look so bad.

    2. If man’s most primal instinct is to live then living primaly kind of says it all, doesn’t it?

    kjake55 wrote on August 19th, 2009
  16. You can’t outrun a bad diet. Eat Primal.

    JT wrote on August 19th, 2009
  17. Mark’s Daily Apple: The new Web of Life.

    JT wrote on August 19th, 2009
  18. Just kill it and grill it.

    James wrote on August 19th, 2009
    • Great!!

      Anand Srivastava wrote on August 21st, 2009
  19. If you had to make your food from scratch, could you make anything you currently eat with out a PHD in chemistry?

    Dennis wrote on August 19th, 2009
  20. you can eat your non-fat soy latte, fat boy, I am jackin steel and grillin ribeyes. I’ll clean my clothes on this washboard.

    James wrote on August 19th, 2009
  21. get primal: hunt & gather at your farmer’s market.

    marci wrote on August 19th, 2009
  22. If it could bite you when it was alive, EAT IT!

    bcreager wrote on August 19th, 2009
  23. Live Primal: It’s like being a Stranger in a Strange Land, only better.

    martin wrote on August 19th, 2009
  24. So easy a caveman could do it!

    James wrote on August 19th, 2009
  25. Go Primal. It’s so easy the cavemen DID do it.

    Katie wrote on August 19th, 2009
  26. Getting primo by going primal.

    Chris Tomek wrote on August 19th, 2009
  27. Nothing is poison. Everything is poison.

    Kurt Ehnle wrote on August 19th, 2009
  28. the fattiest foods that I see walking around are the idiots eating lowfat foods.

    James wrote on August 19th, 2009
  29. Free me from my shackles and just give me some animal meat! I want the blood running down my face!

    James wrote on August 19th, 2009
  30. I just took my vitamin D. It was a day at the beach.

    James wrote on August 19th, 2009
  31. Turn up that Ted Nugent, I’ve got some deadifts to do and a rack of lamb to devour!

    James wrote on August 19th, 2009
  32. “Live Primal: fit, healthy people are harder to kill and generally more useful”

    Lauren Bogner wrote on August 19th, 2009
  33. Go Grok, throw rock.

    Michael wrote on August 19th, 2009
  34. I don’t watch tv. I’d rather live than watch someone else do it.

    James wrote on August 19th, 2009
  35. Canned foods are great for tenderizing meat!

    Tom wrote on August 19th, 2009
  36. Whole wheat pasta? That’s like a mild hangover. A better version of crap.

    James wrote on August 19th, 2009
  37. I get my dinner with sharp sticks. They don’t fit in my wallet.

    James wrote on August 19th, 2009
  38. If you don’t scream when you squat, you aint liftin squat!

    James wrote on August 19th, 2009
  39. We are primed to be Primal.

    Sharon wrote on August 19th, 2009
  40. Genes, what a wonderful way to express oneself.

    berzerker162 wrote on August 19th, 2009

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