November
2007
In Search of a Good Poop (or Sh*t Happens)
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Now that’s some darn cute poop.
Everyone does it. Before you run in fright from your computer screen, ask yourself if you really know sh*t about, well, sh*t. All we are saying is, give poop a chance. Friends, today, we explore the ins and outs of poo matters. Because poo matters. We are in search of a good poop, and we hope you are, too. Otherwise, some serious sh*t happens. Pull up a stool and learn.
The Scoop on Poop
What goes in must come out! Sans nutrients, of course. The Poop Report says:
The human digestive system operates like a factory. The plan of operation for this facility is pretty simple.
- Obtain raw materials
- Prepare raw materials for processing
- Construct the product
- Export the finished product
- Profit from the endeavor
Your food is fuel and medicine for your body and your colon is a beautiful but delicate system for making sure your food benefit is maximized.
Good Poop
Proper poo should be somewhat large and well-formed, but not hard and dense. It should plop gently; this is not the time for a cacaphony of splashes. Ideal excrement is solid, smooth and comes out comfortably. If it comes out in tiny bumps or pieces, your colon may be irritated and you may not be eating healthy foods. Your stool should float or at least appear reasonably light; you do not want to be anchoring your toilet to the ground with the weight of your internal offerings. Heavy poop is not a healthy thing; it means your body is not absorbing and using nutrients from your food optimally. Your bowels are sensitive and contain important nerve endings and beneficial bacteria. If these becomes stressed or out of balance, you’ll know just by looking at your feces (and you’ll likely feel this, as well, with bloating, cramping, or discomfort). Are you a poo achiever?
Bad Poop
Improper poo: lumpy, painful, urge-a-riffic, constant, inconstant, contains undigested food (corn: avoid it), is odd in texture (is runny, resembles deer droppings, is rock solid). That’s right: there’s normal, well-adjusted crap and then there’s crappy crap. The good news is that therapy is effective for getting your sh*t together. We’ll tell you what to do to make sure your toilet time is productive and enjoyable.
That Stinks: Frequent Party Poopers
Runny, Unspeakably Horrible Stuff
Feces should not be runny, and diarrhea is just plain dangerous if prolonged. If your feces is runny, you either have some sort of infection or illness, or may have consumed something that your body doesn’t like. Visit the doctor if it goes on for more than a couple of days (especially important with the seedlings). Women, if you experience diarrhea or gas with your cycle, don’t fret; this is fairly common. If it is too much to bear, see a doctor about treatment. It can help to increase your water intake during your period. And cut back on caffeine and alcohol! Bottom line: don’t run from poo problems.
It Takes Forever
This isn’t necessarily bad. Some folks just have slow pipes. Ideally, you’ll have a bowel movement daily around the same time(s). But there are some people who simply don’t, yet they’re healthy and all signs point to pleasant. However, if…
It Hurts
Barring a legitimate health condition, you may simply not be getting enough fiber and water in your diet. Make sure you are eating multiple servings of vegetables at every single meal, and drink pure water instead of soda or fruit drinks. If you frequently feel bloated and you’re just not an ace plunker, it’s time to look at your diet and exercise habits. Poop shouldn’t tease you; it should come out with ease and grace. If it’s painful, peeking, or ‘uge, something isn’t right.
Really Weird Colors
Tie-dye in the toilet? Not a good sign. Poop will occasionally pop out in bright permutations (some spices and exotic cuisines can certainly startle your insides), but in general, you should expect a very boring, muted, muddly color range. In other words, designer crap is a load of b.s. White or yellow stools, or pink or orange coloring, can be signs of a major illness, so visit your doctor immediately if your feces starts to look like a living room from 1974.
Constipation
This is a very common complaint. The two major factors that come into play with your clingers are stress and diet. Stress causes all kinds of digestive trouble. Think about times you’ve been anxious or nervous - you feel it in your gut right along with your sweating palms and racing heart. Prolonged or chronic stress can create stubborn stools. Diet is also important to consider. If you are eating sugar, carbs, processed meats, and missing out on copious veggies, fresh fruit, nuts, and healthy fats, you are at risk for constipation. Dairy and wheat are often causes of internal cement, so lighten up the load by sticking to a diet like Mark’s.
Fiber Is King, But When It Comes to Butts, So Is Fat
You need to consume at least 75 grams of fiber a day. That’s roughly (hehe) three times the minimum recommended requirement of Uncle Sam. Translation: aim for 6-12 servings of veggies and 1-2 servings of fruit. Supplement with yams, wild rice or lentils if you can handle a bit of starch (many of us can’t). Interestingly, what many folks don’t realize is that increasing fat intake can help with constipation and regular bowels. Try eating more olive oil, fish, avocados, nuts, and flax seeds. Buy DHA-enhanced eggs. And take two or three fish oil pills daily. We promise, it’ll help. And cut out that blasted soda!
Things to Do While Pooping & Useful Tips
- Hum “Eye of the Tiger”
- Think Up Crass Terms for Poop and Email Us Your Suggestions (it’s cheaper than therapy)
- Read MDA
- Sing “What’s New Pussycat?”
- Annoy your roommate/spouse by taking forever
- Appreciate your toilet time: it’s nature’s way of giving you peace and (sorta) quiet
- Prepare match, you little stinker, you
- Read a magazine or a book
- Carry on a conversation with your cat about your scat
- Always wipe from front to back when you’re done!
- It’s nice to keep moist towelettes available nearby to ensure extra cleanliness.
A Load of Resources:
Photo: Piddleloop
Count on MDA to provide the straight poop!
After a particularly stressful day at the office I check MDA for today’s post, and this is the sh.t I get!
Boy did that cheer me up.
Thank you for possibly your best post ever!!!
This is very important info and not much discussed at all. Great way to bring it to the attention of your readers. KUDOS Mark.
T.
T,
Stress? You don’t need that sh*t.
I have to disagree with your fiber recommendation. Ingesting too much fiber leads to a vicious cycle of constipation and increased fiber consumption. Why? Don’t ask me, I read it in a book:
The Fiber Menace (www.fibermenace.com)
Craig-maybe from lots of psyllum and/or little water or too much grain(bran for example), but not from fruits and vegetables in a healthy individual.
“May we all have healthy pipes this holiday season.”
There is a premise that my acupuncture teacher had about good health: Good sleep, good food and good sh*t. AND you are right on target about food intolerances. Gluten containing grains and cow’s milk dairy are #1 cause of digestive issues. Contrary to popular belief about gluten, many individuals suffer from chronic constipation as opposed to diarrhea when they have intolerances. There are good tests out there that test for these food issues, one should do so to motivate you to make better eating choices.
Crystal - I totally agree with you, but I think it is unrealistic to shoot for 75g of fiber/day. That’s a lot of vegetable matter, and frankly, if you are getting enough fat and protein, it would be really tough to choke down that much matter. As an example, 8oz of spinach only contains 5g of dietary fiber, and that’s a lot of spinach! Obviously veggies contain varying amounts of fiber, but 5g/8oz is about average, and that would amount to 7.5lbs of veggies to get enough fiber!
Hi Craig- I do not count how many grams of fiber I consume so I can’t tell you that. You’re right, I agree, that’s a lot to eat and unrealistic for most folks. I do know that I get my fiber from fruits, vegetables, and nuts. I don’t think the goal is to force ourselves to eat a certain amount of grams of fiber/day. Everyone should know what their body needs to function properly and feel their best.
I disagree Craig, I get 60-80g of fiber daily from whole raw fruits and veggies along with nuts and seeds (specifically flax). It is a lot easier then you think, and I never have a problem. My caloric intake rarely goes over 2300 cals a day.
[...] Sh*t Happens [...]
As far as the right way to wipe goes, you need to get wet. Bidanit from bidanco.com helps. It’s a hassle to install and has a poorly designed T-adapter which breaks and leaks easily, but the benefits are worth the installation problems.
When I consume a lot of fiber (I noticed I consumed around 70g today), my poo sinks like a rock.
My poo is very heavy and takes a few flushes and even a nudge to get it moving down the pipes. I am also slow during the poo process and I find if I knead my belly it helps the flow? What’s up with this? Oh, and when I do that, it takes awhile, but I feel as though I lose a few pounds.
For all the people reading this who have or had digestive problems. I had wicked problems,my dad recomended buying a juicer and juicing 1 cup of raw cabbage juice+1 apple , twice per day.After 20 days I am very regular and feeling much better,Hope this helps, ps make sure you strain the juice before you drink it…
Mark,
I’d be very curious to hear your thoughts on the idea that fiber is a problem (the oft-cited “Fiber Menace”). Is it perhaps, as Crystal mentioned, that this only applies to things like guar gum, psyillium husk, and other saw-dust like fibers? Are flax seeds, fruits, and veggies different? If so, how? I would love to see a comprehensive post about this subject, as it’s something there’s been a bit of a point of contention within the low-carb community.
I also agree that 75g of fiber is excessive, as matter of sheer volume. I’m a 22 year old who lifts heavy and intensely, and I probably average 2500 calories/day. Even with my fiber comes from veggies, fruit, and nuts (and averaging 30% fiber by content), I’m getting about 100g of total CHO per day, with about 30-35g of that coming from fiber. Without ramping up my carbs, I don’t see how 70+ grams is possible. That being said, I do follow your advice to eat “something green with every meal!”
I definitely feel better (and move better!) when I have more fiber, but Dr Eades - among others - has expressed concern that this much fiber irritates the bowel and is damaging in the long run. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
I second Keenan’s request for a comprehensive post about the different types of fiber (sources) and how some could be good and some could be bad. If you do the math on the macronutrient ratios based on Cordain’s research (the paleo diet), there’s no way our hunter gatherer counter-parts were ingesting anywhere near 75g of fiber/day. It doesn’t make sense from a caloric expenditure standpoint either: why would paleo man spend an appreciable amount of time gathering veggie matter when it’s going to cost him more calories to forage than he would get in return from consumption?
Keenan, Craig-
Check this out:
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/fiber/
Wow,
You people are anal.
How much fiber is in fois gras?
Why avoid corn? The only part of the corn that remains in the stool is the indigestible outer husk, which as far as I’m aware has no real negative effects on the digestive system.