Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.

Mark's Daily Apple

6 Feb

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Wonkazoids

FUJ

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with Wonkazoids.

But, Fuming Fuji, you ask, isn’t this a good way to keep tweens entertained during long car rides?

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: “Now your candy’s got game,” says Nestle. This combination video game and candy dispenser is the latest wonderful Wonka offering.

The catch: Watching wax melt is more exciting than this game, which is a glorified diabetes dispenser. Even the Fuji knows a stupid video game when he sees one.

The comeback: Isn’t this a nice alternative to violent games? What harm is a little candy?

The conclusion: Candy is what is violent to young seedlings. The Fuji is going to make a Myspace page for Nestle. The Fuji will name it Pied Piper. Nevermind, that has already been taken. Perhaps Malicious Marketing to Munchkins is still available. Fuji will be right back…

The catchphrase: Nestle cares so much about children’s health, even the toys come filled with sugar!wonkazoid
Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji. Mostly.

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5 Feb

Wrinkle-Free News

Worker Bees’ Daily Bites:

The week’s off to an interesting start! Here’s the latest from the world of health.

1) Bird Flu Gets Real

From those news nuts over at The Lede: Culling has begun in the UK to curtail bird flu. Regardless, nobody should be eating chicken nuggets.

bird

2) This Just In: Kids Like Junk Food, Study Says

That’s Fit reports that kids are fatter than ever thanks to zero exercise and an abundance of junk food in everything from school cafeterias to Costco’s towering shelves. Is this a surprise?

We can all moan and groan about it, but better to be proactive. Maybe you have kids. Maybe you are a kid. Either way, these steps are non-negotiable when it comes to health:

Daily exercise of some sort. It can be as basic as walking home from school, mowing the lawn, helping out with household chores, or walking the dog. But exercise is a must. Make it a requirement for TV and computer privileges. Worried about enforcing it? You make them brush their teeth, do their homework and occasionally even bathe. Add this to the list.

Daily vegetable intake, preferably not fried. Whether you spend an hour on Sundays putting together baggies of veggie snacks, or whether you make them do it for themselves, get veggies into your kids! Kids love junk food. Their taste buds are literally wired for it. It’s probably not realistic to think they aren’t going to eat junk ever, but you can at least keep it out of the house. Always serve a salad for dinner, and keep washed fruit available at all times. Kids don’t mind peas or green beans – even the most finicky kids will eat a bowl of peas. Kids do crave starch, but keep those options green. Avoid the fries, tater tots, chips and other pale starches.

applemeasure

Lie. Tell them eating healthy will diminish acne, mood swings and body odor. (Actually, it’s not even a lie).

Enact and enforce a zero-tolerance soda ban. As far as your kids are concerned, soda is Satan.

Kids are gonna do stupid stuff – you can’t watch their every move. But you have more influence than you may think, so use it. This means setting a good example, of course!

3) Tofi

Diet toffee? Tea-coffee? Hipster tofu?

No, TOFI stands for something else entirely, and it’s a…big…problem.

fatbumahead quevaal

4) Enviga’s Going Down!

Mark’s Daily Apple was among the first to debunk this ridiculous new “negative calorie” drink from Coke. Now the big guns are getting on Coke’s case, too. Aha!

envigathis

5) Making Single People Everywhere Feel Really Fabulous

Thanks, Scotsman. No, seriously, thanks. This study is small, merely highlights reasonable correlation (rating your own emotions: not exactly the gold standard of scientific inquiry), and also, it’s totally annoying. It makes sense that the more socially active and fulfilled you are, the healthier you will be. Studies prove that consistently. This is more about finding something sensational to whip up on a Monday. If we were betting bees, we’d lay good money that tonight’s news will start with: “Stay tuned: one more reason why you are doing everything wrong for your health!” Which isn’t really a risky bet, since that’s what they say every night. You’re not doing everything wrong. You’re here, aren’t ya?

6) Quote Me

Things Big Puff (that’s Big Tobacco, not Puff Daddy…er, Diddy…Diddly? Duddy?) really must regret saying. Thanks, Healthbolt. Also check out the Australian cig warnings. Subtle!

cig
5 Feb

A Monday Moment

Let’s start the week off with some humor. I believe – and science supports this – that being cheerful keeps you healthy. When the going gets rough, just remember, it gets rough for everyone:

Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much. (Oscar Wilde)

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.  (George Carlin)

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong. (Andy Rooney)

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. (Katharine Hepburn)

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. (Jerome K. Jerome)

More great quotes 

5 Feb

Mark’s Weekly Health Challenge

This week, bust your butt to bust your gut. Exercise every day. Park your car way out of sight. Surprise the dog with an extra-long walk. Make television commercials your own personal sit-up special. Bike with the kids. Walk after every meal. Make activity your middle name this week. Now get moving!

© 2014 Mark's Daily Apple