Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
1 Feb

The Sisson Spoof

Jabba the Hut returns? Another Jurassic Park sequel? Or simply a science experiment gone very wrong?

cheeseball

None of the above. This festering ball of lard is just the Cheesecake Factory’s macaroni and cheese appetizer. I didn’t think you could find anything worse, nutritionally speaking, than a donut, which is literally deep-fried sugar and fat. I was wrong.

As if bleached flour smothered in liquid processed cheese “food” wasn’t destructive enough, now it’s breaded and fried. Oh – and served atop a creamy sauce. Score another one for the obesity epidemic.

The Cheesecake Factory doesn’t reveal calorie or nutrition information. According to them, they just change their menu items so darned often, they couldn’t possibly keep up with publishing information! Sure.

I’m continually stunned at the way businesses like Cheesequake blatantly insult and mock their customers with such disingenuous excuses – as if hiring an intern, giving the kid a calculator and asking said intern to make a website update is such a challenging innovation to adopt. (Reminds me of Paging Dr. Luddite.)

And I’m equally saddened by people’s willingness to be abused – if that’s not addictive dependency, what is?

Soon enough, food producers are going to have to accept the fact that lying to consumers is not a good long-term business strategy – because the world is changing, and consumers have two very important things:

1) Access to information like never before, if you don’t mind taking 5 seconds to look for it, and

2) Near-unlimited choice.

Also, it’s not a good idea to slowly kill off your customers. This will affect profits at some point.

You want comments? We got comments:

Imagine you’re George Clooney. Take a moment to admire your grooming and wit. Okay, now imagine someone walks up to you and asks, “What’s your name?” You say, “I’m George Clooney.” Or maybe you say, “I’m the Clooninator!” You don’t say “I’m George of George Clooney Sells Movies Blog” and you certainly don’t say, “I’m Clooney Weight Loss Plan”. So while spam is technically meat, it ain’t anywhere near Primal. Please nickname yourself something your friends would call you.

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