It Will Pass and I Will Be Stronger
It’s Friday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. I’ll continue to publish these each Friday as long as they keep coming in. Thank you for reading!
Dear Mark,
I have been completely Primal for just over a year, and working towards that for almost three years. It has changed my life from feeling like I was living in an unlit and windowless room, to really participating in life and finding fulfillment. It’s been that dramatic.
I was an active, healthy kid with a good diet until I was twelve. My home life became very unstable. I was moved around a lot, and lived with several different relatives and attended different schools. It was hard on me. I was a very introverted kid to begin with, and I didn’t make friends. I read books and did homework and ate. I quickly became very sedentary, and very sad, and I had access to a lot of processed, sugary foods that my mother had never kept in my childhood home. I was given a lot of autonomy over my diet, and I quickly became addicted to these foods.
By the time I was 16, I weighed 240 lbs at 5’7″ and I was extremely depressed, bulimic and very unhealthy, with bad skin. That was the year I was also diagnosed with PCOS, an explanation for my painful, irregular periods and other symptoms. I tried to lose weight by restricting calories, but when I was depressed I would care less about my long-term health than my need for something comforting to eat. So I would binge, and feel guilty, and purge, and my bulimia got worse.
By the time I was 18 and living on my own, I was very sick. I was binging and purging more or less all day long, sometimes close to ten times a day. I remember feeling very scared the first time I threw up and had blood start pouring like water from my nose. I was more scared to stop throwing up, though. I wasn’t having periods at all, but occasionally I would go to the bathroom and find that there was nothing but blood in the toilet. That scared me, too.
When I was 20, living alone and in college, my depression and bulimia continued, and I also started drinking, alone, most nights. The nights I didn’t drink alcohol, I would do other drugs. I also started smoking. Once I was intoxicated, I would go out for a walk, alone, in my very bad neighborhood at three in the morning. I would occasionally get bursts of energy, and in one such burst, I got a new roommate, a new job, and I joined a community group. Then I was assaulted by someone I thought was my friend. I felt like my depression was a black hole sucking me in, that my life would just feel worse and worse until I died. I wanted so badly to die, but I was afraid to kill myself. I was hoping, I think, that the world would take care of it for me.
When I was 22, I had another one of these moments when my depression lifted. I bought a gym membership this time. I started going all the time, I would use the gym sometimes, and run on the treadmill. I wanted to know what to do at the gym, so I was looking at lots of online resources. I found nerdfitness.com, and through them, I found Mark’s Daily Apple. I remembered that a customer at my old job had, a couple of times, mentioned that he ate a caveman diet, but I hadn’t cared to look into it at the time.
When I did read about eating like a caveman, it resonated with me. I had started learning how to cook, and I was enjoying it, so the idea of a diet made of whole, unprocessed ingredients appealed to the chef in me. I love reading about science, so the more I read, the more it appealed to me, and the more Primal principles I started to apply to my own life.
I found that not counting calories and not throwing up was nerve-wracking. I gained weight at first, started purging again. I stopped weighing myself. The better my diet gets, the less I get an urge to binge. With no binging, I don’t purge. I slip up once in a while, but those incidents are getting further and further apart. I also got a physical job that I love: working in the produce department at the grocery store. I lost a lot of weight. My high weight was around 290 lbs, and now I weigh between 155 and 165 lbs.
My depression started to lift even more after I eliminated grains and sugar from my diet. Within 3 months I could feel a major shift. I no longer had long periods of apathy and hopelessness interrupted by the occasional “good month.” I now feel very calm and still inside. I feel tethered, and even when I do get sad (because it’s got to rain sometimes), it no longer feels like I’m getting sucked into a black hole of depression. It will pass, and I’ll be stronger.
I am stronger. I get stronger all the time, and calmer, and happier. That’s what keeps me doing this caveman gig. I’m so strong, in fact, that this spring I’m leaving on an adventure, I’m going to walk across the USA, from my home on Vancouver Island, to my parents’ home in Connecticut!
Thank you for giving me the tools I needed to save myself.
Lindsey
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Posted By: Mark Sisson
Congratulations!! You look amazing on the outside, and you can tell that you feel darn fabulous on the inside too!
I don’t normally respond to these stories as I read them, but I feel compelled to today.
The health and emotional issues you faced seem scarier and more severe than anything I can relate to. I am enlightened by the pain and suffering of such disorders, and inspired by your story and your success.
Fantastic work!
+1
Congratulations on such an amazing turn around in your life story! I’m always surprised on Fridays – who would have thought so many different stories/problems/lives could all be so dramatically helped by PB? Or that so many lives can be damaged by the wrong foods?
The smile and the eyes are the same, but everything else is different! You look great, and from the sounds of it, feel great too. Awesome and inspiring.
Way to go, Lindsey! You rock!
Lindsey, what a beautiful person you are, and what an inspiration for those needing to lose weight. Your photos make me smile.
I lost 20 pounds over the last two years just by eliminating sweets. More recently I began to suspect that I’m gluten sensitive and eliminated all grains, sticking with protein, lots and lots of mostly low glycemic veggies, and a small amount of whole fresh fruit. The result was downright astounding. I lost another 18 pounds without even trying and got rid of my IBS problems as well.
I recently started adding a few of the starchier veggies back into my diet on a 2 or 3 times a week basis because I was afraid my weight would drop too low. My weight is now at an ideal level for my height. It’s also better for the blood pressure and easier on my arthritic knees, so I’m pretty happy about it.
This approach might not work for everyone, but it sure worked for me.
AMAZING! And like others, I am sitting here at work trying not to cry! What a moving transformation! From the valley of hell you walked out to tell the tale! You, woman, are an amazing survivor!
I am another trying not to cry at work! I am so proud and happy for you, girl!! Way to rock that 25th birthday! Love your story and your beautiful smile!
What an inspiration you are, Lindsey! Thanks for sharing your story. I will be forwarding this to several people I know who might just benefit from hearing it. Best wishes for the future, have a great life, and be sure to check in here from time to time!
incredible. the strength to do what you’ve done is amazing, and you look gorgeous! to life!
SO inspiring, and congrats for being YOU! Good luck on the walk! Will you be blogging about it?!
My heart goes out to the younger you. I am an eighth grade teacher, and I have many students who I think are traveling that same sad path, moving around to different homes, too much autonomy, and eating pure crap. Even the school food is 100% USDA certified SAD crap. I am so glad that you found a new path, and I can only hold out hope that some of my students will get there someday too. Congratulations!!!!
Wow, awesome story. I wish you continues success.
Share your story….there are far too many young women going through the same thing you did-but they do not know how to escape.
I got a little choked up reading this. Thank you for sharing your story, it can be very meaningful and helpful to someone who needs to know they aren’t alone! Good for you!
Your beautiful smile there is wonderful to see. Clearly your spirit is becoming as fit and strong as your body now is, you are an inspiration to us all. You should take a great deal of pride in your outstanding accomplishment!
I know how difficult dealing with depression can be, you have done a wonderful job of beating it down and taking charge. I have always kept very physically active in my life as that’s been the most effective way to ward off the propensity to depression. Keep moving and stay vigilant, these battles do tend to recur. You have just won a huge victory and proved you’re a strong warrior!
wow thats awesome you look great!
good on ya girl!
like like like!
Good for you! So inspiring!
wow…WOW!!!…wowwww….I am lost for words…wow…
your story really puts me to shame..but you have inspired me so very much…you look stunning!!could you share with us what your daily food intake looks like now compared to what it used to be?
My eating was pretty awful before, lots of candy, crackers, sugary frozen food and chips, fast food, pizza.
Now I eat tons of eggs and bison, I’m lucky enough to have a bison farm a few minutes down the road from me, and lots of salmon, I live in a fishing community. Whatever veg is in season, I’ve learned lots about that from my work. I love all kinds of squash, and a little fruit. Lots of coconut products, as well.
Hi Lindsey, wow what an inspiration you are! Congratulations on taking control of your life, you’re glowing with health and happiness
I’ve had a long time struggle with sugar addiction and the depression it causes and have only this week started trying to change that (again). Your story has really given me a boost, thank you!
As someone above said~ please write a blog about your journey, I for one would love to read more from you.
Peace, love and continued good health
~Kaz x
WOW!!! Great job, Lindsey! You are an inspiration. I’m going to forward your article to both my daughters (22 and 19) who are at school and struggling with their weight. Keep up the great work!
What an incredible transformation – both physically and emotionally. This is just outstanding. A triumph, really. Congratulations on taking control of your life.
H***Y S**T Lindsey! And good luck on your walk across the US – please keep us updated in the forums! I’m posting this to my facebook page pronto…
Very inspiring…thanks for sharing!
I read this and got teared up. Good for you girl!
Great job! We have a lot in common
That is a very moving story, Lindsey. I love your title and theme, “It will pass and I will get stronger,” because it’s important to be able to deal with adversity and setbacks, something you have clearly mastered. And I love your final line thanking Mark for giving you the tools to save your life. You can’t give greater thanks than that.
Amazing work! Definitely inspirational
Lindsey!! Amazing transformation! I too live on Vancouver Island! Would love to connect. Trying to build a “Primal” community here for people like us who feel like we are on our own in our primal lifestyle… email me at dragonfly.downs@yahoo.ca