Dear Mark: Low on Willpower
Dear Mark,
I’ve been following the blog for a couple of months now and have been trying to get into a regular exercise routine like you describe. Unfortunately, I get some fitness momentum going and then lose my willpower once I hit stressful or busy times. I feel like it’s a game of two steps forward, one step back (at least). What do you say to someone who’s trying to hit a fitness stride but keeps backsliding? Do you have advice on how to boost willpower? Thanks!
Your question is a timely one. Much was made over a recent study (PDF) that demonstrated willpower as a limited resource. The crux was this: we have a finite amount of willpower in a day (so to speak), and when it’s used up, that’s it. In a given day we might defend against donut cravings at the office all morning, force ourselves to keep our head off the desk in an afternoon slump, resist the opportunity to chew out the neighbor for letting his dog poop on our lawn yet again, and make ourselves go out into the rain to set out recycling and put the kids’ bikes in the garage. Finally, we push ourselves to stay up late in order to finish a company project. Surely, we can be proud of our resolve, our diligence, our commitment to family, work and neighborhood accord. Nonetheless, we’ve left ourselves with neither the time nor remaining willpower to pick up the weight set. Too many tasks, too little energy and too much frustration have zapped our self-discipline, and the balance is zero when we go to direct some toward the day’s workout. The research says this: as much as we’d wish otherwise, we don’t have separate willpower accounts for different areas of life.
The researchers examined the concept of willpower distribution by subjecting some participants to tricky and tedious cognitive exercises and then asking all subjects to dip their hands in ice water for as long as they could. Those whose willpower had been tested before with the cognitive activities weren’t able to hold their hands in the water as long as those who hadn’t been previously taxed.
Moreover, other research suggests even the string of mundane daily decisions (e.g. what to have for dinner, what gift to buy for your cousin’s wedding, etc.) can challenge us enough to weaken our overall resolve by fatiguing our brain. As a result, our motivation and self-organization abilities suffer. (Hmmm…maybe this explains why I find shopping so exhausting….) Self-control not only appears to be a precious commodity; it can be sabotaged by extraneous mental clutter in our lives. Score another point for Grok and the simple existence, I guess.
Nonetheless, researchers say, willpower is like a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger it gets. The key is to direct it well and not expect instant results. Slow and steady will give you best results in this kind of training.
First off, I’d say don’t get discouraged and scrap the whole project. Transitions are usually rough to some degree. Stick with your overall fitness endeavor, but adjust the goal for a while. There’s nothing wrong with taking lifestyle changes in small steps. Some days you might not be able to do everything, but most days you should be able to do something. The key is to make time for yourself and simply keep the date. I’m not used to quoting Woody Allen, but he was on the money when he said “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” Don’t focus on the “work” of the workout ahead. Just summon the will to put your shoes on and walk outside. Skip the gym if you want and just head out the door for a walk. Then see what happens. It might be more productive and/or fun than you expect.
Second, do an inventory of the logistical and personal demands you field on a given day. As the research demonstrates, if you’re spread too thin or distracted too much, you’re setting yourself up for flimsy self-control. I call it the chronically overloaded condition. Far too many people’s lives fit the description, and far too few see it as a central problem for their overall health. Cut out the “noise” of life and overload of duties as much as possible. Avoid the break room altogether if you know temptations reside there. Learn to live with the neighbor’s “issues,” or place them on his sidewalk if you prefer. (I’m remaining neutral on this one.) Enlist the kids to put their own bikes away and put the recycling out while they’re at it. In short, reduce the need to use willpower in other areas of life wherever possible. Are there circumstances that zap more of your energy and will than others? Maybe some self-assessing and creative brainstorming are called for.
At the heart of life’s chaos and infinite demands, I suggest embracing the notion of “paying yourself first.” You’ve likely heard it as a financial concept, but I think it applies to self-care as well. Maybe figure out a way to pay yourself – i.e. workout – early in the day when your willpower stores haven’t been ravaged by the day’s stresses and responsibilities. Aside from devoting your willpower to exercise itself, work on building your self-regulatory power as a whole. Eating Primally will offer a consistent flow of energy and help you avoid the crash and burn of carb dependency. Sleep, not surprisingly, has been shown to directly impact self-control. Likewise, “positive emotions” can boost our self-regulatory resources. “Motivational factors” like “laughter” and “powerful memories” can enhance willpower, as can keeping your eye on the ball. In other words, keep your fitness goal in sight and mind with some kind of visual reminder or daily progress log.
Finally, I suppose one lesson might be to not always fight the willpower shortage. When you have the motivation, work hard and go the full distance. However, when willpower wanes and you can’t muster up the energy to exercise, maybe it’s a sign that you legitimately need a break. Rest days are an important part of just about any exercise program and there’s nothing wrong with skipping the odd workout. As long as these days don’t become frequent occurrences, they won’t be enough to derail your overall physical progress. In fact, they might help you stay on course and reinvigorate your commitment as well as your physical energy. If you feel your workout plan actually fits your life, you’re probably more likely to stick with it. Use the occasional rest day to take it easy and truly recharge.
Primal readers, what say you? Do you depend on willpower to exercise? Why or why not? If so, have you been able to boost your willpower or even overcome it to some degree? Do you depend on it less now than you did early on? If willpower comes and goes (as I suspect it does for most of us), what helps to fill the gaps for you?
As always, thanks for your questions and comments. Keep ‘em coming!
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Posted By: Mark Sisson
“Paying yourself first” An investment you’ll never regret!
My very first comment!
So far my workouts are too good to be true. A couple of months ago I read “Body by Science” which explains the concept of once-a-week very intense weight-resistance workout. So far the results are astounding.
I used to do Pilates 3 times a week for 40-50 minutes, advanced moves. I switched to once a week concept but not with weights, I do a Pilates workout, still Pilates but with a very slow rhythm to elimenate momentum. The same moves that I did for years before, once I did them with super slow movement, it killed me the first time, it was so intense I couldn’t move the next day. But the results were surprisingly quick, I’ve put on muscle and shaped up very quickly.
Once a week is hard to find excuses for. Plus right now I live in a small city in Germany where you have to walk everywhere, more often than not carrying heavy grocerries up 4 flights of stairs (o_O).
I will second the effectiveness of Body by Science. It is a very informative read delving into the science of fat loss, muscle adaption, recovery, and growth (there are 9 pages of references at the back for those who like that kind of stuff). One workout once a week sounds like too little but beleive me it’s no joke. I think it fits very well into a PB lifestyle. Efficient workout = More playtime!
Hey Mark, thanks so much for this. I’ve had a big project at work that required more will than I had to deal with and I’ve been real lax on my eating as it geared up — never occurred to me until I read this that I’ve had to sacrifice my food willpower to the project. I’m going to cut myself some slack about it now and maybe even intentionally allow myself ‘play’ with food so that I can flex on the project for the next few days. This also explains my recent odd thought pattern — I’ve been thinking to myself, ‘it’ll be so nice once I’m on vacation in 2 weeks b/c it’ll be easier to eat clean’. I mean, who wants to eat clean on vacation? But now it makes perfect sense. And at least I’m looking forward to eating clean. Maybe someday I’ll think of that as play.
Low on willpower?
Hire a trainer that specializes in once-per-week workouts.
It is simple, easy to maintain, and will cost less than many pay for their cable bill.
Focus the rest of your “willpower allotment” on diet and for an extra kick, learn to meditate.
I have started working out in the morning, again. 4:30 am. The goal this week and next…get out of bed…put on shoes…leave bedroom. So far, so good.
Mark, thanks for this. This article came at just the right time. Lately I’ve felt like my “reserves” are depleted now I have a much better idea of what’s actually happening.
Hey Mark, fascinating post and comments. I’ve begun to see the relationship between stress maangement and exercise. I am much more likely to keep my commitments to release stress than because I “should” go. Working out works off the stress. Also, have I aligned my beliefs, thoughts, and actions? Usually when I am stuck one of these things is out of alignment. One of the comments is about a sit-stand desk. I’m moving to one at work from Ergotron. I want to build more exercise into my day and this is one way to do it.
Thanks for hitting will power on the head here.
Mark – I would love either you or Carrie to provide some input regarding how to maintain my “willpower” when I have PMS! I usually do very well during the month with eating clean and being primal. But about a week and a half before my period my willpower goes out the window. No matter how hard I try to quash the cravings with either meditation, healthy treats (e.g. dark chocolate or frozen berry and coconut-milk shakes), supplements (glutamine, chromium, magnesium), etc. I eventually cave and fall of the wagon altogether. Falling of the wagon means eating horribly for about a week (fast food, ice cream, milk chocolate, you name it). It’s terrible, I know.
I should also note that I’m a 31 year old non insulin dependent type II diabetic (and my diabetes is not associated with obesity, it runs in the family). So while I maintain excellent blood sugar control through diet and exercise for most of the month (fasting blood sugar averaging 85-90), the week before my period my fastings range between 110-120!
Please tell me what to do to make this stop!
Have you tried cinnamon, nopal cactus, and shark cartilage? All help control blood sugar. In addition a good antifungal may help(although cinnamon is one for sure. Oil of Oregano and caprylic acid work well as does olive leaf extract.
Thanks for those suggestions! But my issue isn’t so much blood sugar control as it is CRAVINGS stemming from PMS. If I keep my cravings under control (which I can’t seem to do a week or so before my period) my blood sugar is fine.
Thanks El! I, like you have noticed that not only do my cravings intensify with PMS but my appetite increases tenfold! Anyhow, yes, I’ve tried chromium in addition to glutamine and increased dosages of magnesium a week or so before since I’ve read it helps alleviate PMS.
I also try planning ahead to combat the cravings – berries with full fat Greek yogurt, 75% dark chocolate covered almonds, cheese crisps (if I feel like chips), etc. But, it seems like no matter how much I plan I still cave with processed foods (refined sugar in particular) that I do manage to stay away from for the remainder of the month…These wild cravings do subside a day after my period starts, but the week and a half before is a nightmare. I even asked my endocrinologist for advice on how to deal with this. He provided the unsatisfactory response of “it’s OK to have a candy bar that time of the month so long as you’re not having one every day of the month”.
Shema, I too get these massive cravings when I’m PMSing. As far as I can tell, it’s just that I’m HUNGRY and my body’s asking for cheap and quick calories.
For what it’s worth: My best defense thus far has been anticipating the PMS and ramping up my portion sizes and fat percentages BEFORE the cravings hit, and then to stay well-fed all week. It takes some self-experimentation to figure out the timing and portions, and it helps if I keep my stress levels down, too.
You might also try taking some chromium, which is supposed to reduce carb cravings.
i think will power is a bit of faith; it takes me believing that every problem is solvable, it just usually takes longer than I think will to solve. I have to trust that baby steps are, in fact, progress made.
Also I think willpower is mostly just talking myself out of my own bs.
I just made it through ten days without starch/sugar. When is okay to start partaking in sensible indulgences without undoing everything?
This is easy. Your excercise should be something you like. I don’t care for jogging but I can suck it up and do a few miles a couple times a week. My main things are mountain biking and skiing though. I don’t to imagine life without those activities. Find intense excercise you have fun with. Do it.
Mark, I thought a lot of this post; I’m glad you wrote it.
I’ve been mulling over the “willpower as a muscle that can be exhausted” theory since I wrote about a 2007 New York Times blog post that was written about similar research. I think there’s probably something to the conclusion people are reaching from the research, but at best it’s an oversimplification, and at worst it’s an erroneous conclusion. After all, the effects of the study could also be explained other ways, for instance: let’s posit that a person doing something they don’t like tends to inspire resentment (a negative emotion based on a thought along the lines of “I shouldn’t have to do that”). This doesn’t seem like a stretch. Then let’s posit that when people are feeling resentful, they are less compliant. This would seem to explain the results just as well as the “willpower as muscle” idea, with the important difference that if it’s about resentment and compliance, then a little idea repair (also known as “cognitive restructuring”) could remedy the situation and leave willpower unaffected.
I don’t mean to suggest that we should assume that this alternate explanation, or some other explanation, is the real one necessarily–just that there are a lot of skills (like idea repair) we can apply to willpower that will boost it, and that rather than expecting it to run out, we may want to learn as many of those skills as possible and get all the juice we can out of it.
Cheers,
Luc Reid
The Willpower Engine