Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
8 Sep

Have a Picnic. Win a Cow. The 2010 Grokfeast Challenge.

It’s cow time. US Wellness has long been a favorite meat spot for MDA readers. Last year they donated pemmican and the popular 5 gallon bucket of fat. This year they’re going whole hog. And by hog, I mean cow. US Wellness has generously offered up a cow to the winners of today’s contest, the inaugural Grokfeast Challenge.

For those of you with raised eyebrow, they won’t actually be delivering a mooing, cud chewing, udder dangling live cow to your doorstep. But you will receive the delicious meat that once was that cow. And I’m not just talking about a bucket of chuck. The winners will receive sirloin, brisket, short ribs, back ribs, ribeye steaks, T-bone steaks, NY strip steaks, Delmonico steaks, filets, bottom round roasts, center cut roasts, chuck, tongue, liver, heart, kidney, beef tallow, marrow bones, beef stock, and an oxtail. Hundreds of pounds of bovine, all grass fed, grass finished. Check out this Grass Fed Goodness video where you can watch your prize/meal grazing around in sweet Missouri pastures. And if you haven’t already hit up the US Wellness blog and newsletter, do it now as they’re hosting their own set of giveaways all month to commemorate their 10th anniversary (because one cow is never enough).

Finally, to memorialize the win of the first ever Grokfeast Challenge, I’m throwing in an engraved cowbell trophy for the winners to jangle proudly for years to come. More cowbell, more cow.

But winning won’t be easy. It’ll take work. And friends…

To Win the Cow, Host a Grokfeast.

What’s a Grokfeast? It’s a picnic! A Primal Picnic. It involves three things:

  • People: At least eight.
  • A Feast: Food for those people. Primal food.
  • A Primal Activity: Fun for those people. Primal fun.

What exactly constitutes “Primal fun?” Any group form of Primal Play could work, like Ultimate Frisbee, a group hike, or Grok Tag. But less traditional options are welcomed as well. Maybe your group wants to shop a farmers’ market before the feast, or build the picnic table you eat the feast on, or host the feast on top of Half Dome. The idea is to capture the Primal spirit. Because going Primal doesn’t have to be a solo operation. Health isn’t a man alone on a treadmill; it’s a group of people enjoying each other’s company, eating healthy food, and maybe breaking a little sweat.

How to Enter the Contest…

Other than having a great time, you’ll need to email me a few of your Grokfeast highlights. For a valid entry, the following are required…

  1. A list of participants. There’s no upper limit, but the minimum is eight.
  2. A list of dishes made for the feast and one recipe of one of those dishes (preferably the tastiest).
  3. Photos of the Grokfeast, including at least one group shot, one shot of the feast, one shot of the recipe dish, and one shot of your Primal activity. Of course, you aren’t limited to four photos. The more pics you send us, the better!
  4. A summary of the day. Tell us how it all went down, did something taste great? Taste awful? What was your Primal activity? Was it enjoyable? A complete failure? Did hilarity ensue? Must be at least two paragraphs. Can easily be more. But use brevity to your advantage. Writing a 15,000 word summary won’t give you a better chance at winning than someone who writes a single, well written, entertaining page.
  5. OPTIONAL: Video of the Grokfeast. It’s not required, but certainly couldn’t hurt.

Finally, be creative! Other than keeping it Primal, there are no limitations on how to have your picnic. Did you convince your entire group to go barefoot? Did you make up your own Primal hunting/gathering game? Is your main dish a Grok-shaped meat cake? Did you have one final water balloon fight before the cold set in? Did you realize the cold had already set in and shivered miserably while building a camp fire (to cook your meat on)? Did someone trap, skin, and cure a wild boar hide to use as a picnic blanket? Okay, that might be a little extreme.

But there really aren’t too many restrictions on how to do this. Whether during the day or night, by the ocean or on the roof of a parking garage, at a park, or even in Milwaukee, the possibilities are endless. And it’s not a numbers game. With coworkers, gym buddies, your college dorm cluster, eight people or eighty, the winner isn’t the group with the most people, but the group that throws the coolest Grokfeast. If your friends are all busy, remember there’s a forum filled with other Primal folks who might be in your area.

Once you’ve had your fun and gathered up the evidence, email it to me.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Include “Grokfeast Submission” in the subject line of your email. I receive hundreds of emails a day. If the subject line isn’t correct, there’s a chance I may miss your submission entirely. You can attach pictures or Word docs to the email. If you made a video, please include a link to the YouTube or Vimeo page.

Deadline for Submission:

October 3, midnight, Pacific Standard Time. That’s right, less than a month. I said it wasn’t easy, so hustle!

How a Winner is Chosen:

While I have no idea how many entries I’ll end up receiving, I’m going to try to publish as many as I can, if not all of them. Entries will be posted on October 5. Semi-finalists will be chosen by me and the Worker Bees later that same day. Readers will then have a chance to vote on their favorite. Winner announced October 7.

Fine Print:

  1. The beef will be shipped to one address. It is up to the participants to divide the beef up however they choose (and for those of you thinking about hoarding the beef and not telling your other participants, keep in mind your Grokfeast will be published live on a blog that gets millions of page views a month. They might find out.).
  2. Cow prize not available to residents outside the U.S.. In the event of a non-US team winning, a prize of equal value will be sent as substitute.
  3. Cow prize is not a living, breathing cow. It is a large quantity (over 200 lbs) of various meats that represent most of the edible parts of a cow.
  4. MDA reserves the right to publish any or all material submitted. MDA also reserves the right to make edits to any videos submitted.
  5. Only one entry per group. Only one person needs to submit the entry. That person will be used as the sole contact for establishing shipping/delivery details of the winning prize.
  6. I will be encouraging the winning team to hold a second meet-up for the cow delivery. I want to see all that meat being doled out and enjoyed!
  7. Depending on the number of entries, I reserve the right to adjust how and when the entries will be published and/or voted on. All rules subject to change.

You want comments? We got comments:

Imagine you’re George Clooney. Take a moment to admire your grooming and wit. Okay, now imagine someone walks up to you and asks, “What’s your name?” You say, “I’m George Clooney.” Or maybe you say, “I’m the Clooninator!” You don’t say “I’m George of George Clooney Sells Movies Blog” and you certainly don’t say, “I’m Clooney Weight Loss Plan”. So while spam is technically meat, it ain’t anywhere near Primal. Please nickname yourself something your friends would call you.

  1. Mark!

    Can Canadians win these contests as well? Or will the border be an issue to ship the prizes?

    I’m all in if Canadians can win as well… I’ll do it anyways if not.

    Thanks for putting this on, I’ve been pumped for weeks waiting for the 30 day challenge.


    Deni wrote on September 8th, 2010
    • We are so doing this next weekend while camping!!!! Thanks!

      Francie_pants wrote on September 9th, 2010
  2. Dude. Fine print:

    Cow prize not available to residents outside the U.S.. In the event of a non-US team winning, a prize of equal value will be sent as substitute.

    Chris wrote on September 8th, 2010
    • Dude. My mistake.

      Thanks for clearing that up for me though.

      Deni wrote on September 8th, 2010
  3. My family just had a Labor Day weekend picnic that totally qualified for this- right down to a killer game of ultimate frisbee. Too bad we didn’t take any pictures. Guess we’ll have to do it all again….

    Audry wrote on September 8th, 2010
    • I am sure the entire group would LOVE to do it again since they have a shot at winning a cow!!

      Primal Toad wrote on September 8th, 2010
  4. Does the recipe have to be 100% original or can it be a re-adjustment to an old favorite? I’m already planning my Grokfest!

    Andrea wrote on September 8th, 2010
  5. Amaaazing! Thank you US Wellness Meats!!

    gilliebean wrote on September 8th, 2010
  6. well, at 1st I didn’t know how/if I could do this. Then I was struck with an idea! mwahhahahha…

    Peggy wrote on September 8th, 2010
  7. Right on! I could use a whole cow!

    Anders wrote on September 8th, 2010
  8. Great contest!! Can’t wait til the picnic!

    Tyler Dixon wrote on September 8th, 2010
  9. I need to think of some ideas to have a grokfeast. I would absolutely love to enter this contest. I need to get to work. I may go to Chicago where my bro is to do this.

    Primal Toad wrote on September 8th, 2010
  10. Is there anybody in southern New Hampshire or northern Massachusetts who wants to get together for a Grokfeast?? Let me know…I’m all in!

    maureen wrote on September 8th, 2010
    • I may be in, depending on where in NH. I’m in western MA and can’t travel too far east. Let me know!!

      Jenn wrote on September 8th, 2010
  11. Oh goodie. :)

    Jason Elliott wrote on September 8th, 2010
  12. Bummer, I thought the prize was an actual cow. :(

    Artimus wrote on September 8th, 2010
  13. Sweet…anybody in the Seattle area, contact me through my blog link and we’ll set something up. I don’t have enough friends and none of them are primal (yet) so I could use some help on this one!

    Jesse wrote on September 8th, 2010
    • I’m in!

      Chipdogwa wrote on September 8th, 2010
    • I am in the portland area…I would be willing to plan something for half way in between….

      – Katie.

      Katie wrote on September 8th, 2010
    • I’m in Seattle and might have a couple people that’d be interested in joining in. Grok On!

      stephen sherman wrote on September 8th, 2010
      • There already is a very active Seattle primal group! You should join us! We have lots of fun together. Add me (Sofia Wahaj) on FB and put something about Seattle Primal in the message.

        MamaSofi wrote on September 9th, 2010
  14. I need to meet 8 primal Grokheads in the St. Louis area. Send me a smoke signal.

    Greg S. wrote on September 8th, 2010
  15. we’re totally planning something for the 2nd, possibly! hmm…now we’ll have to get serious about it!

    Annie wrote on September 8th, 2010
  16. Hey Jenn, I’m in Manchester, NH so I don’t think we’re too close. If you think it can work let me know.

    maureen wrote on September 8th, 2010
    • Maureen, I wish I could make it that far, but with my schedule the next few weeks there’s no way. Hope you are able to put together a group!

      JennF wrote on September 8th, 2010
  17. I am in the Portland area…I would be interested in doing something with others….Or Seattle and Portland could meet in the middle!…

    Katie wrote on September 8th, 2010
    • I could probably make it to Portland.

      Shebeeste wrote on September 8th, 2010
  18. If anyone needs a primal feaster to make up 8 in the Willamette Valley, I’m in!

    Shebeeste wrote on September 8th, 2010
    • Me too. I’m the only primal in my group. The rest still listen to the docs who say to eat carbs… Hahahaha… I’m also the only one not taking a presciption. Mid Willamette Valley here but I could travel north or south (or west and in a pinch east).

      Brodie wrote on September 8th, 2010
  19. Here in the Boise, ID area if any one else wants to partake in a Grokfeast!

    Pocahontas wrote on September 8th, 2010
  20. Does a baby count? I’m visiting family in Colorado Springs for my nephew’s 1 year birthday, and I’d love to throw a Grokfeast for them! Unless he counts though, I’ve only got 7 of us…

    lady_daraine wrote on September 8th, 2010
    • I’m no official but I would assert that as long as the baby eats something primal (even breastmilk!) it should count. :)

      Jenny wrote on September 8th, 2010
  21. Ah man! No one I know at college would be into this! If anyone around the University of Dayton in Ohio needs another man to join their picnic let me know !!

    Ben wrote on September 8th, 2010
  22. Darn, never wanted to be an American more than right now. 😉

    AJ wrote on September 8th, 2010
  23. I need more friends. Perhaps I should not have stalked and eaten them so quickly.

    Um, I mean… Hello, Officer…

    Rafe Brox wrote on September 8th, 2010
  24. Well meat on the grill normally will get people I know to come, but I don’t know if they will go for the whole Primal enchilada so to speak! I will have to ponder this idea.
    Most of the time if I invite people over, they are always trying to bring homemade dessert or something…and not a primal one, that’s for sure. Usually cake.

    CNYmicaa wrote on September 8th, 2010
  25. I can do Portland or Boise, but you better act fast. Going on vacation soon.

    hiker wrote on September 8th, 2010
  26. Anyone in LA want to meet up?

    Shelley wrote on September 8th, 2010
  27. ohio!!!! we WILL win that cow

    shannon wrote on September 8th, 2010
  28. Waaah! I don’t think I can participate in this part of the Challenge considering a craaazy schedule for the next few weeks, but I can’t wait to see what everyone comes up with. Consider me a “guest-in-spirit” at all those fabulous events!

    evadnefrances wrote on September 8th, 2010
  29. Roland wrote on September 8th, 2010
  30. Fun Fun Fun! Lookin forward to a primal cave style party! Let the primal games begin!

    HeatherHoney wrote on September 8th, 2010
  31. a goat for second?

    wonderful idea, Bravo!

    Carrol Anne wrote on September 8th, 2010
  32. I’m so excited about this. It’s going to be bananapants.

    AM wrote on September 8th, 2010
  33. Auckland, New Zealand? Anyone? :)

    Dawn wrote on September 9th, 2010
  34. Plenty of ideas…. which one to go with…. can’t wait!!

    StephenF wrote on September 9th, 2010
  35. Anyone in NJ want to get together for this? I’m planning on doing something in Central New Jersey (Monmouth County)on the 28th (probably)

    D.M. Atlas wrote on September 9th, 2010
  36. I’d like the cow-dead or alive! Anyone in the upstate NY area? I have 3-4 people to add to a group if children count! I’m new to this and not exactly friends with open flame cooking so will need serious help!

    Elizabeth Hull wrote on September 9th, 2010
  37. This is weird

    Green Jewelry wrote on September 9th, 2010
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    Green Jewelry wrote on September 9th, 2010

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