The Grok-on-Tonians: Just who do they think they are?
We are professors of philosophy and theology, artists, musicians, a military nurse, a community organizer, a speech pathologist. Some of us are already well-versed in Primal ways, others are just starting down the path. We come from three different countries and are all parents of small children. Most importantly, however, we are the kind of people who get a thrilling little shiver up our spine at the thought of an entire grass-fed cow arriving on our doorstep.
Where are they coming up with this stuff?
That’s what the men of our group asked each other after the first slew of Grokfeast planning e-mails were exchanged. It appeared that we ladies had delved into this project with a rather astounding degree of enthusiasm. After all, there were Primal dishes to plan, storyboards to envision, costumes to safety-pin together, props to gather! What choice did we have but to put our reptilian minds together, acknowledge our shared and somewhat desperate need for a creative outlet, and get to work?
Why is the video so grainy?
We decided early on that our Grokfeast would be organized around the 10 Primal Blueprint Rules of Living (win a free pair of Vibram FiveFingers if you’re the first to spot them all in the video! Hahaha… just kidding), but we wanted something to set our feast apart. That’s when it hit us: Anyone remember those old ethnographic films from Anthropology 101? The ones they’d show at your 8 a.m. MWF class in a dimly-lit lecture hall, the monotone narration accompanied only by the quiet snoring of your hung-over classmates? Well, I do. And I knew even back then that my life would be incomplete until I made one of those fine films myself.
So how does one film a “classic ethnography” in an urban backyard in Texas?
First, you find some very silly (a.k.a. like-minded) friends. Then you convince your husband that being filmed while donning a strip of animal hide and running around the backyard with the kids for one afternoon won’t kill him. Not even a little bit. Then you construct a giant turkey and arm your children with lots of large sticks, bows and arrows, and a slingshot. And then you yell, “ACTION!” and watch all hell break loose. It’s great fun, really! Just make sure to provide plenty of Traditional Fermented Beverages. Things really get exciting once the honey mead starts flowing.
What else did this day-in-the-life of a Grok-on-Tonian include?
Body painting, foraging for vegetables, wild turkey hunting, a lion encounter, archery practice, Radio Flyer wagon rides, a hula hooping competition, the invention of the wheel (no less!), lounging in hammocks, a bit of imbibing, hauling rocks around for building projects, a rowdy band of little people relishing the primal behavior for which they’re usually scolded, some didgeridoo music, a swingin’ dance party, and, of course, feasting!
Do you remember the Alamo?
Vaguely. But I’ll never forget GrokFeast 2011 – San Antonio, TX!
Fearsome Fowl Femurs, Ratatouille on the Grill, “Gluteus Maximus Magnus Saladus”, Baked Figs with Walnuts and Chèvre, Honey Mead and other Traditional Fermented Beverages
“Fearsome Fowl Femurs”
- 6 fearsome fowl femurs (if one’s habitat is lacking in fearsome fowl, chicken legs may be substituted)
- 1/3 cp naturally fermented, wheat-free tamari
- 5 tbsp honey
- 2 tbsp grated ginger
- Dash of pepper
- Bacon fat for browning
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Prepare the sauce in a small bowl: Mix together tamari, honey, ginger, and pepper. Set aside.
In a skillet, brown 6 chicken thighs in bacon fat.
Remove chicken thighs to a roasting pan. Bake for 30 minutes, basting with sauce regularly.
Chris Duvall, April Duvall, Ella Duvall, Istra Duvall, Jorge Montiel, Suzanne Montiel, Elias Montiel, Isaac Montiel, Alistair Welchman, Judith Norman, Benjamin Welchman, Charlotte Welchman, Greg Zuschlag, Dana Spottswood, Jared Zuschlag, Gabriel Zuschlag