Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
10 Oct

Grokfeast in San Antonio, Texas

On September 13th I asked Mark’s Daily apple readers to host a Grokfeast (a picnic/party celebrating the Primal lifestyle) and to send me the results. The following is one of 13 amazing submissions, the best of which will win an entire cow courtesy of US Wellness.

The Grok-on-Tonians: Just who do they think they are?

We are professors of philosophy and theology, artists, musicians, a military nurse, a community organizer, a speech pathologist.  Some of us are already well-versed in Primal ways, others are just starting down the path. We come from three different countries and are all parents of small children. Most importantly, however, we are the kind of people who get a thrilling little shiver up our spine at the thought of an entire grass-fed cow arriving on our doorstep.

Where are they coming up with this stuff?

That’s what the men of our group asked each other after the first slew of Grokfeast planning e-mails were exchanged. It appeared that we ladies had delved into this project with a rather astounding degree of enthusiasm. After all, there were Primal dishes to plan, storyboards to envision, costumes to safety-pin together, props to gather! What choice did we have but to put our reptilian minds together, acknowledge our shared and somewhat desperate need for a creative outlet, and get to work?

Why is the video so grainy?

We decided early on that our Grokfeast would be organized around the 10 Primal Blueprint Rules of Living (win a free pair of Vibram FiveFingers if you’re the first to spot them all in the video! Hahaha… just kidding), but we wanted something to set our feast apart. That’s when it hit us: Anyone remember those old ethnographic films from Anthropology 101? The ones they’d show at your 8 a.m. MWF class in a dimly-lit lecture hall, the monotone narration accompanied only by the quiet snoring of your hung-over classmates? Well, I do. And I knew even back then that my life would be incomplete until I made one of those fine films myself.

So how does one film a “classic ethnography” in an urban backyard in Texas?

First, you find some very silly (a.k.a. like-minded) friends. Then you convince your husband that being filmed while donning a strip of animal hide and running around the backyard with the kids for one afternoon won’t kill him. Not even a little bit. Then you construct a giant turkey and arm your children with lots of large sticks, bows and arrows, and a slingshot. And then you yell, “ACTION!” and watch all hell break loose. It’s great fun, really! Just make sure to provide plenty of Traditional Fermented Beverages. Things really get exciting once the honey mead starts flowing.

primalmen

What else did this day-in-the-life of a Grok-on-Tonian include?

Body painting, foraging for vegetables, wild turkey hunting, a lion encounter, archery practice, Radio Flyer wagon rides, a hula hooping competition, the invention of the wheel (no less!), lounging in hammocks, a bit of imbibing, hauling rocks around for building projects, a rowdy band of little people relishing the primal behavior for which they’re usually scolded, some didgeridoo music, a swingin’ dance party, and, of course, feasting!

primalwagonfun primalturkeyhunt

Do you remember the Alamo?

Vaguely. But I’ll never forget GrokFeast 2011 – San Antonio, TX!

The Feast

Fearsome Fowl Femurs, Ratatouille on the Grill, “Gluteus Maximus Magnus Saladus”, Baked Figs with Walnuts and Chèvre, Honey Mead and other Traditional Fermented Beverages

IMG 7913

“Fearsome Fowl Femurs”

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  • 6 fearsome fowl femurs (if one’s habitat is lacking in fearsome fowl, chicken legs may be substituted)
  • 1/3 cp naturally fermented, wheat-free tamari
  • 5 tbsp honey
  • 2 tbsp grated ginger
  • Dash of pepper
  • Bacon fat for browning

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Prepare the sauce in a small bowl: Mix together tamari, honey, ginger, and pepper. Set aside.

In a skillet, brown 6 chicken thighs in bacon fat.

Remove chicken thighs to a roasting pan. Bake for 30 minutes, basting with sauce regularly.

Enjoy!

The Tribe

Chris Duvall, April Duvall, Ella Duvall, Istra Duvall, Jorge Montiel, Suzanne Montiel, Elias Montiel, Isaac Montiel, Alistair Welchman, Judith Norman, Benjamin Welchman, Charlotte Welchman, Greg Zuschlag, Dana Spottswood, Jared Zuschlag, Gabriel Zuschlag

IMG 7925

You want comments? We got comments:

Imagine you’re George Clooney. Take a moment to admire your grooming and wit. Okay, now imagine someone walks up to you and asks, “What’s your name?” You say, “I’m George Clooney.” Or maybe you say, “I’m the Clooninator!” You don’t say “I’m George of George Clooney Sells Movies Blog” and you certainly don’t say, “I’m Clooney Weight Loss Plan”. So while spam is technically meat, it ain’t anywhere near Primal. Please nickname yourself something your friends would call you.

  1. Awesome video! Those figs look amazing!

    Suz wrote on October 10th, 2011
  2. The food looks so good!! You can tell they had a great time making the video. Good job!

    Tara45 wrote on October 10th, 2011
  3. Hahhahahahaahhaahaa – that was great!

    MamaB wrote on October 10th, 2011
  4. “gluteus maximus magnus saladus”…
    laughed my gluteus off!

    Hopeless Dreamer wrote on October 10th, 2011
  5. Hahaha, omg the video is awesome, this should win a movie award!
    Very talented, indeed.

    Grokontonians rock!

    Arty wrote on October 10th, 2011
  6. That was great! Gave me some inspiration for our own party.

    Kara wrote on October 10th, 2011
  7. Love it! Although the best part may be little Baby Grokette’s hand reaching for the fearsome fowl in the picture of the feast. That girl knows some good food!!

    Hilary wrote on October 10th, 2011
  8. Awesomeness

    Svend wrote on October 10th, 2011
  9. long time lurker, first time poster.

    THAT WAS AWESOME! Very cool.

    Paul wrote on October 10th, 2011
  10. EXCELLENT! Very creative and funny!

    Debra wrote on October 10th, 2011
  11. Love how the picture of the feast shows the baby’s hand reaching for a chicken leg.

    Toni wrote on October 10th, 2011
  12. Very creative! I loved the trash bag turkey.

    Claire wrote on October 10th, 2011
  13. Excellent work!

    Love the Little Grok hunters!

    Mark Ellis wrote on October 10th, 2011
  14. Love the creativity and all the children involved. Very different approach compared to all the grokfeasts of last year. Great storyline!

    Primal Toad wrote on October 10th, 2011
  15. HA! HAA! How FUNNY and the kids so CUTE. Great Video!:)

    Gayle wrote on October 10th, 2011
  16. Love this one! You guys did such a great job with the video and the food looks amazing! Looks like a lot of fun was had putting this together :)

    Chase wrote on October 10th, 2011
  17. I so wish I had of known, I would have taken the trip.

    StrongWIll wrote on October 10th, 2011
  18. Soooo fun! I love it!

    Noctiluca wrote on October 10th, 2011
  19. Baby Groks hunting turkeys, FTW! Very creative.

    Steph wrote on October 10th, 2011
  20. Excellent video! I Heart Grog-on-Tonians!

    colleen wrote on October 11th, 2011
  21. Grog-on-tonians, you ROCK!….just don’t try to light a grill w/ it! LOL

    Arisbe wrote on October 11th, 2011
  22. You win, period.

    Darren wrote on October 11th, 2011
  23. Absolutely wonderful!

    Were any animals injured in the making of this film? Pardon, that’s the idea isn’t it?

    Tony wrote on October 11th, 2011
  24. Thanks so much for all of your kind words. The Grok-on-Tonians are perched on the edges of our crude but effective seats! =)

    Suzanne wrote on October 12th, 2011
  25. SO cute!!! Love this Grokfeast!

    Chrissy wrote on October 12th, 2011
  26. Love it and I love that it’s a family affair!

    Michaella wrote on October 12th, 2011
  27. Congrats on a great video and successful Grokfeast!

    Laura wrote on October 12th, 2011
  28. Amazing… wish I could have been there.

    Lisa

    Lisa wrote on September 20th, 2012

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