Marks Daily Apple
Serving up health and fitness insights (daily, of course) with a side of irreverence.
6 Oct

Grokfeast in Mississippi

On September 8th I asked my readers to host picnics and to send me the results. The following is one of 27 amazing submissions, the best of which will win an entire cow, courtesy of US Wellness. Vote for your favorite on October 8.

The execution of our Grokfeast had to be performed with all the precision, stamina, and strength of a primordial hunt. As a typical group of stressed (and broke) college students, we knew the challenges of pulling off a successful Grokfeast would be many, but like the ancient Primal man, we also knew that to not succeed was not an option. So, we sharpened our proverbial spears and went to work. The preparation began nearly one month before the deadline as we gathered fellow Primal followers to our cause. This task alone nearly killed the whole mission. Not too many in the land of Mississippi remember their Primal roots. Initially, the interest was minimal, but we set that task aside for the present and turned instead to the challenge of providing a suitable meat for the hordes. A carcass was in order, of that we were certain. But not just any carcass, baked in some modern contraption requiring minimal effort or skill. Oh, no. We were going to make Grok proud. Thus the idea of building a smoke pit. A woolly mammoth of tasks, a pit big enough for our needs would have to be at least 4 feet wide by 5 feet long by 2 feet deep. Again, Mississippi is not known for its “shovel-friendly” earth. A deluge of medical school exams and activities prevented us from putting much more thought into the Grokfeast until the one week deadline loomed before us. This was when we could be found scraping at the sun-baked clay with shovels by the light of our truck headlights while others performed rain dances. Thankfully, our prayers were answered and it downpoured the next day. Despite the merciful rain, it still took us two days to finish digging the pit (it counted as our WOW). With only hours of daylight to spare, we sacrificed the pig carcass to the fiery coals on Thursday night, making sure to completely bury it in order to escape tampering from neighboring tribes or wild animals.

The next twenty-four hours were spent in anxious anticipation as we gathered the remainder of our supplies and suckered the last few people into participating in this “weird primal meat thing”. I’m sure our hearts were pounding as much as any Grok after an exhilarating hunt as we pulled the still-smoking carcass wrapped in chicken wire and damp sheets out of the dirt. Before we even had a chance to unwrap the delectable bundle the smell of smoked pork wafted into our nostrils.

Success! The pig was perfectly cooked and subsequently devoured by the fifteen people that had attended!  We feasted on pig accompanied by the other Paleo dishes such as homemade apple chips, coleslaw and berry almond crumble! Even the tallow did not go to waste as we used it to satisfy the ravenous appetites of man’s best friend – six best friends, to be exact! As the sun began to set we grabbed our Frisbees, volleyballs, and fishing rods and headed out to the fields and lake for some Primal digestion time. But does Grok go home just because the sun sets? No! He builds another huge fire! And so we did. The gathering lasted deep into the moonlit night as we sang and boasted of prior victories and days long past – the food warm in our bellies and the fellowship deep-rooted in our hearts.

The Feast

GrokSpread
  • Sweet potato chips with orange swiss dip
  • Nectarine berry crumble with homemade whipped cream
  • Mashed Cauliflower
  • Primal Cole Slaw
  • Roasted apple chips
  • Fire Roasted sweet potatoes
  • The main course….a pork shoulder smoked for 24 hours in a hand-dug fire pit.
  • Water and unsweetened tea to drink

Recipe: Berry Crumble

Ingredients:

  • 2 large organic nectarines, chunked
  • About 2 cups of mixed berries, any kind will work
  • 3 Tbsp cooking sherry
  • 1/4 cup + 2 Tbsp butter
  • 1/3 cup coarsely chopped almonds.
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream

Directions:

  1. Melt the butter in a small cast iron skillet, and add the nectarines, cooking for about 4 minutes.
  2. After these are slightly softened, add the mixed berries and cook over medium low heat until the juices begin to release.
  3. At this point, add the cooking sherry, and let the liquid reduce for about 5 minutes. Place the fruit mixture into an oven safe dish.
  4. Meanwhile, toast the almonds in a skillet or the oven. When golden brown, mix with 2 Tbsp of butter, and sprinkle over the fruit.
  5. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 10 minutes, and serve with freshly whipped cream. Enjoy!

The Tribe

GroupPic

Tiffany Beck, Nicole Beck, Renee Blanco, Amanda Tucker, Amanda Hipp, Jessica Hudson, Amanda Gettinger, Renee Pietsch, Ben Bailey, Jason Collins, Stacie Collins, Ted Lyons, Victoria Sater, Jobeth Miller, Theresa Adicks


You want comments? We got comments:

Imagine you’re George Clooney. Take a moment to admire your grooming and wit. Okay, now imagine someone walks up to you and asks, “What’s your name?” You say, “I’m George Clooney.” Or maybe you say, “I’m the Clooninator!” You don’t say “I’m George of George Clooney Sells Movies Blog” and you certainly don’t say, “I’m Clooney Weight Loss Plan”. So while spam is technically meat, it ain’t anywhere near Primal. Please nickname yourself something your friends would call you.

  1. Mmmm another delicious sounding pig roast. I am so craving some slow cooked pork

    Ben wrote on October 6th, 2010
  2. “The main course….a pork shoulder smoked for 24 hours in a hand-dug fire pit.”

    I just ate supper…and now I’m hungry again. D:

    Funkadelic Flash wrote on October 6th, 2010
  3. i wanna hang out with these people

    noah216 wrote on October 6th, 2010
  4. For a second I thought the dog was digging for dinner.

    Mark wrote on October 6th, 2010
  5. Awesome. That pork sounds yummy!

    Cindy Hanna wrote on October 6th, 2010
  6. Everything looks so good!

    Ryan wrote on October 6th, 2010
  7. LOVE the ending to the video. He was just trying to soften up the dirt so it would dig easier :) :) :)

    Casey wrote on October 6th, 2010
  8. Digging and christening the pit! Dogs can be so helpful.

    christie wrote on October 6th, 2010
  9. I’m gonna have to try that Berry Crumble recipe! Looks good.

    PrimalMike wrote on October 6th, 2010
  10. another good menu!

    Marti wrote on October 6th, 2010
  11. Mmmmmmm, love me some piggy. I wanna try that crumble as well.
    P.S GOOD dog!

    Larry wrote on October 6th, 2010
  12. All these pig roasts make me wonder – who was the first person to say, “Ok, so here’s what we need to do. We need to take this animal that we labored hard to hunt and kill. We’re gonna wrap it in a bunch of stuff and, hear me out now, we’re gonna bury it. Yes, in the ground. Then we’re gonna leave it for a day. Then we’re gonna dig it up and eat it. Sound good?” Hope it was just a stroke of genius and not anything more sinister. :p

    Kris wrote on October 6th, 2010
    • hahahaha!! ya, we owe this person huge

      Peggy wrote on October 7th, 2010
  13. hahaha that’s an awesome dog!

    mike wrote on October 7th, 2010
  14. Way to stick to your plan despite obstacles!!! People can go on about steak all they want, pig-in-a-pit still rules! (berry crumble looks good too)

    Peggy wrote on October 7th, 2010
  15. Sweet dog. I love the pig!

    Garth Whelan wrote on October 7th, 2010
  16. Great feast party! Seeing all these pigs cooked in the ground is making me hungry!

    Ryan wrote on October 7th, 2010
  17. that looked like a blast! can’t wait to make the crumble.

    Julie wrote on October 7th, 2010
  18. Now what you needed was a good groundhog to help with that pit. They dig fabulous holes and don’t pee in them either.

    Loved the digging dog video. Cracked me up.

    Sharon wrote on October 7th, 2010
  19. Hand dug fire pit…looks like a ton of effort went into it… I can only imagine how awesome it tasted!

    Fatkid wrote on October 7th, 2010
  20. That berry crumble sounds delicious!

    Whitney wrote on October 7th, 2010
  21. Loving your blog and this post.. plus the little Clooney ditty you posted as well. No spam isn’t meat.. bwahahahaha Found you while searching for the primal crumble that I heard was so delish.. will try it out tonight.. Thanks.

    bodynsoil wrote on June 8th, 2011

Leave a Reply

If you'd like to add an avatar to all of your comments click here!

© 2014 Mark's Daily Apple