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Let me introduce myself. My name is Mark Sisson. I’m 63 years young. I live and work in Malibu, California. In a past life I was a professional marathoner and triathlete. Now my life goal is to help 100 million people get healthy. I started this blog in 2006 to empower people to take full responsibility for their own health and enjoyment of life by investigating, discussing, and critically rethinking everything we’ve assumed to be true about health and wellness...

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March 06, 2007

The Fuming Fuji Says No to Juice

By Worker Bee
1 Comments

The Fuming Fuji Says No!

The Fuming Fuji is outraged at the marketing of toxic food, especially when it’s aimed at the small fry. This week, the Fuming Fuji has decided to have a serious problem with juice.

But, Fuming Fuji, you say, juice is healthy for children!

The Fuming Fuji says no!

The claim: Fuji, you’ve gone too far this time. Of all the things on earth for you to fume about – juice? Juice is fruit! It has vitamins!

The catch: I see, you are the juice police. You must be very proud of your sugar water. Yes, fruit is healthy. But juice is not fruit. That is like saying broth is chicken.

The comeback: You know what? Sometimes you draw really creepy analogies, Fuji. I’m giving my kids juice, because they need their vitamins. And there’s nothing you can do about it, you angry little apple!

The conclusion: Do you think an apple would have an incentive to lie about juice being healthy? Well, okay, maybe. But you are very much mistaken if you think sugar water is beneficial to the tiny tots! There are much better ways to get vitamins into small fry, such as vegetables and fruit. And Fuji knows that most juice is not even real juice. Why are chemicals, dyes and corn syrup acceptable fuel for precious seedlings? The Fuji does not accept!

The catchphrase: Juice is juicy – and that is the problem.

Disclaimer: Mark Sisson and the Worker Bees do not necessarily endorse the views of the Fuming Fuji.

[tags]children’s health, juice, apples[/tags]

TAGS:  humor

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