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Thread: Self Defense Question

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Montreal Quebec Canada
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    I studied Judo as a kid as I was always bullied and picked on. It helped but what helped more was to be aware of my surroundings. That and a willingness to be utterly brutal at need. I always went after collar bones and genitals to get them down and then wrists and fingers that might be stomp-able. By 15 I had stopped being picked on. Now I grew up into a big strong quiet man, I have a bad case of hypervigilence and always needing to protect myself and as such never have needed to since I was a kid.

    Martial arts need to be practiced and maintained as has been said before. Paying attention and being a crazy assed MF at need will keep you safer in the long run.

    If he is being picked on, weights and working out will help, developing the confidence that comes with strength and big shoulders will help and if he needs to fight, crush your opponent so badly that no one will want to risk it again. Do it fast do it quietly and do it messy and never loose your cool.

    I have been picking on my kids since they were old enough to understand, their defensive moves are automatic now and the one time my daughter was picked on at school she so badly mauled the kid that no one ever tried it again. My son is the gentlest 13 year old you ever will meet and if you mistake that for easy you will swallow your nose before you understand what a mistake you have made.

    it is all about attitude and confidence. They survived me as a father, they can survive anything.
    Primal since April 2012 Male 6' 3" SW 345lbs CW 240lbs GW 220lbs and when I get there I am getting a utlikilt. This one actually.

    Join me at, where all the cavemen hang out.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Quote Originally Posted by MEversbergII View Post
    To anyone just joining the thread, ALERTNESS is key. You can win the situation without ever having to fight or run simply by being ALERT and picking your battles.

    If you go looking for trouble, you become a crusader. That's on you. Good luck with that, I mean it.

    If you want to learn how to fight, go for it. Even beyond getting out of sticky situations there's lots of benefits. Just don't use it as an excuse to get yourself stuck in somewhere.
    good advice here. alertness is the single most important self defense tool to have. no matter how much training you have, you should always look to avoid a fight whenever possible. fights are scary and dangerous. they aren't glorious, flashy or sexy. people get hurt. you can/will get hurt, even if you "win" the fight. stay out of them at all costs. even if that means turning and running.

    that being said, I would favor something like muy thai for the average person. it will teach you good defensive position, how to throw proper punches, kicks, knees and elbows, and how to block. when the shit hits the fan, you aren't going to be doing all the fancy movie stunt fighting where you're grabbing wrists, twisting and flipping people, etc. you're going to smash a nose or throat, kick a knee and get the hell out of there. it isn't pretty, but you do what you need to do in order to keep you and your loved ones safe. full contact sparring is the key.

    psychologically, knowing how you project yourself is important. if you look like a target and act like a target, you'll become a target. situational awareness, eye contact with threats, body language, etc are all important. if the wolves see you as a sheep, they will attack. if the wolves see you as a sheepdog or even another wolf, they leave you alone. usually. there is always the toughguy that wants to challenge everyone around him. in those situations, you do your best to protect yourself and escape the situation. if that means leaving the bar early, then leave.

    be prepared to hurt someone or be hurt. be prepared to fight while hurt. the psychological impact of blasting someone in the face and watching the blood splatter can definitely cause people to freeze. or trying to fight off an attacker once he has hit you in the face and now your nose is bleeding and your eyes are watered over. these are all real-life scenarios that frequently happen in fights that need to be dealt with and prepared for
    Last edited by not on the rug; 03-25-2014 at 06:27 AM.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Quote Originally Posted by Warmbear View Post
    but what helped more was to be aware of my surroundings. That and a willingness to be utterly brutal at need.
    I am glad that someone said that part too.

    I have been picking on my kids since they were old enough to understand, their defensive moves are automatic now and the one time my daughter was picked on at school
    haha warmbear is wise and powerful.

    I am puzzled why self-defense would suddenly be an issue, and not like a part of his childhood also. Didn't the boy himself ever express an interest in making fists and doing things with them? If not, it's not a good idea for him to even start thinking about it, because other kids are like 300 internalized-trauma violent episodes ahead of him.
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Regarding training for your son, I have seen many good recommendations and will try not to repeat them.

    Rather than telling you what to choose, I'd prefer to offer guidance in choosing for yourself.

    Things you may want to consider:

    1. What interests your son?

    If your son thinks wrestling is cool, but is scared to death of a fist-fight, you may consider a grappling sport. He will learn plenty of "self defense" in a jujutsu or class (even those vary widely in the ratio of ground fighting vs striking).

    If your son wants to be Bruce Lee, then you may consider a striking art like one of the many mentioned.

    If your son wants nothing to do with martial arts, you may consider a self defense course and get him into a good fitness program, like CrossFit.

    2. What is your sons physical condition?

    If your son is a top athlete, then he will likely enjoy a competitive mixed martial arts (MMA) type class.

    If your son is in poor physical condition, he will likely improve from any option, but you may consider a physical improvement plan before the martial arts. A great option would be CrossFit. The self confidence and changes to his physique could actually help by making him less of an "easy target."

    3. What is available and within your budget?

    Unless money is of no concern, you'll want to check out the local dojos and weight the costs, before making your selection. Perhaps this should be consideration number one.

    4. What are you and/or your son hoping to accomplish? Does he want to defend himself against a bully? Does he want to enter competitions?

    Perhaps the reason for your sudden interest in martial arts will answer this.

    A couple comments to add:

    Martial arts take time to master, and many fancy arts offer nothing more than an exercise program, an empty wallet, and a false sense of confidence. The right program will have immediate physical benefit and teach him some basic self defense moves, then improve upon both over time. Time being the key word, because it will take time and dedication to master any style he chooses.

    Personally, I studied TKD, Kung Fu, and several other styles before settling and gaining my black belt in JuJutsu. Now I have gotten heavily into CrossFit, and wish I knew of it years ago; it really complements the martial arts training.

    Anyway, it really boils down to considering your goals and interests, and then weighing your options and agreeing on an one that your son will stick with for long term results.

    Good luck with your decision!

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Jul 2014

    Personal Self Defense | Self Defense Class

    Whether it is possible to get proper training on self defense through videos???

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Whether it is possible to get proper training on self defense through videos???

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by Adam12 View Post
    Whether it is possible to get proper training on self defense through videos???
    Is it possible to learn anything without practice? Unless you can figure out how to spar with YouTube, you will not learn self defense from your computer.

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    New Jersey
    Situational AWARNESS!!! Running only lets the perpetrator know you are weak and unwilling to fight.... Recognizing your potential assailant and acting accordingly is a strong deterrent, even if you can't fight project you notice the threat and are willing to defend yourself. I usually make eye contact and throw my hand in my pocket like im grabbing something.

    Sent from my HTC6525LVW using Tapatalk

  9. #39
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    New Zealand
    Regarding all the suggestions for various martial arts, I have to say that in my experience they teach you how to fight and techniques or principles which you could apply to defend yourself (at best), but they very rarely actually teach self defence.

    By this I mean that they rarely teach the pre conflict queues that take place in the build up to aggression, what body language to look for in a potential attacker to help identify if/when they are going to attack and whether they may have a weapon etc. De-escalation skills as well as how to use speed and aggression to get yourself out of trouble and get the hell out of there if it does hit the fan.

    Check out Geoff Thompson's The art of fighting without fighting. He's also got a lot on YouTube.

    Many martial artists have never been in a real confrontation and while some martial arts that train and compete against resisting opponents can help prepare you for the adrenalin dump you experience conflict and how to react when under pressure, not many prepare you for the sheer aggression that comes out of the blue (especially if you don't know what to look for) in a self defence situation.

    Another thing to remember is the rule of 3. If you can see one bad guy then he's likely to have a couple of mates.

    I also take it a step further, if you're up against a bad guy with a weapon he's likely to have more than one. You really don't want to be messing around fighting in the street with one or more attackers who may have multiple weapons.
    If you're interested in my (very) occasional updates on how I'm working out and what I'm eating click here.

    Quote Originally Posted by tfarny View Post
    If you are new to the PB - please ignore ALL of this stuff, until you've read the book, or at least

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    British Columbia
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    Most martial arts aren't worth the time when it comes to real fights. You have to be prepared to do whatever it takes to stop the attacker and it definitely isn't nice. The kind of defense I'm talking about is pushing your thumb in the guys eye as far and as hard as you can, strike him in the throat with the aim of smashing his windpipe, try and twist his ear off pulling him to the floor in the process. Hesitate and you will lose !

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