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Thread: I'm 50, with zero kids, should I hang a stocking from the mantel? page 2

  1. #11
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    You always have a choice.

    You could announce that you feel you are too old for a stocking and advise that you will not hang it next year. Whoever's filling it may or may not be upset that you are breaking a tradition.

    If you think they may be upset you still have a choice. You can stick with your decision and let them learn to get used to it and to the new grown up you.

    Or, you can decide to graciously let this tradition continue, then subsequently regift the contents to someone who would in fact get some enjoyment from them.

    Depends what you want more out of this situation - to not be treated like a child, or to allow someone else a kind of pleasure even if you don't quite love it any more. Best wishes.

  2. #12
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    Thanks.

    I wish that my family placed more value on spending quality time together, rather than spending money (on things they think I need (but don't)).

    I snubbed a major portion of tradition 5 or 6 years ago. Now my folks don't exchange gifts with me, but they still put things in my stocking (as though they are from Santa?). I don't now how to fix any of this, short of going back to behaving like I am a six-year old, and by the sounds of this discussion - I have a lot of work to do on myself!

  3. #13
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    Ohhh, it's for your folks. I missed that (sorry, I only skimmed a lot of the thread). Hindsight is 20:20, but I'll share. Indulge your folks. You're 50, so your folks are in their 70s or 80s? Let them have their fun. Old parents/grandparents and old pets - my vote is to indulge them for the last leg of their journey on Earth. Giving feels good. Giving to the ones we love feels even better. Let them feel good.

    Just my and YMMV.
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  4. #14
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    Thanks.
    I didn't mention my parents, sorry. We've been giving them gifts the whole time. They seemed to stop, but we never stopped. This year they apparently decided to give us a gift, but, as a result of my small-ish tantrum about the stocking, the whole holiday went south for me (in more ways than one). I am struggling with why it is that I don't feel like giving gifts to my family anymore. Something about giving gifts in general falls flat for me. I truly enjoy spending the holidays with my wife's family, and we no longer exchange gifts with them. So, I guess I realize that having a good holiday is not tied at all to the gifts (since I enjoy the in-law holiday times at least as much, even though there's no gift exchanging involved).

    You are correct I should indulge my parents, and I have no issue with that.
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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    Ohhh, it's for your folks. I missed that (sorry, I only skimmed a lot of the thread). Hindsight is 20:20, but I'll share. Indulge your folks. You're 50, so your folks are in their 70s or 80s? Let them have their fun. Old parents/grandparents and old pets - my vote is to indulge them for the last leg of their journey on Earth. Giving feels good. Giving to the ones we love feels even better. Let them feel good.

    Just my and YMMV.
    nicely put, Joanie. I agree.

  6. #16
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    Instead of giving them a gift next year maybe do up a mock gift voucher to take them out some place you'd like to show them/go to create memories.
    Or ask for this when they ask what you'd like 😊

    Sent from my HTC_PN071 using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    Ohhh, it's for your folks. I missed that (sorry, I only skimmed a lot of the thread). Hindsight is 20:20, but I'll share. Indulge your folks. You're 50, so your folks are in their 70s or 80s? Let them have their fun. Old parents/grandparents and old pets - my vote is to indulge them for the last leg of their journey on Earth. Giving feels good. Giving to the ones we love feels even better. Let them feel good.

    Just my and YMMV.
    Quote Originally Posted by PBNewby View Post
    Thanks.
    I didn't mention my parents, sorry. We've been giving them gifts the whole time. They seemed to stop, but we never stopped. This year they apparently decided to give us a gift, but, as a result of my small-ish tantrum about the stocking, the whole holiday went south for me (in more ways than one). I am struggling with why it is that I don't feel like giving gifts to my family anymore. Something about giving gifts in general falls flat for me. I truly enjoy spending the holidays with my wife's family, and we no longer exchange gifts with them. So, I guess I realize that having a good holiday is not tied at all to the gifts (since I enjoy the in-law holiday times at least as much, even though there's no gift exchanging involved).

    You are correct I should indulge my parents, and I have no issue with that.

    My family stopped gift giving 20 years ago..... I am 53 years old. Gathering is plenty satisfying for us. My hubby's family stopped gift giving, and a few years later stopped the tradition of filling the stockings about 8 years ago when some of the younger generation where having financial difficulties and it was more of a burden than a joy to spend the money and/or receive the gifts. It is extremely freeing to let go of the commerciality of the Christmas gatherings. Now - we all gather for the simple joy of being together No monetary burden for the gift giver......... and no false sense of joy on the part of the receiver! its a WIN-WIN! And everyone finishes the holidays without dreading the coming of the credit card bill!
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  8. #18
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    Thank you Tomi !!
    Those are my sentiments exactly.
    But I am in the minority when it comes to my family.

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