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Thread: Ode to the primal weirdo

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Egypt with brief trips to Texas

    Ode to the primal weirdo

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    Now this is pretty funny right here....

    Primal Weirdo

    In the deepest of winters, earthing is a must.

    Baring oneís feet, the odour disgusts.

    Night comes on early for us in the dark,

    Blue-blocking, so drowzy, please come and tuck,

    Us into our beds, but still whatís that smell?

    Bone broth in the air, nom nom itíll gel.

    Reading a book, Paleo is the theme,

    Tell us again why we must go gluten-free?

    Weíve seen it on Bookface, confirmed by a tweet,

    Shared by the thousands, in a neat little meme.

    Dairyís controversial, straight from the teet,

    Hurry up and suckle, thereís gonna be some heat.

    Police might be hiding, even amongst our fleet,

    It just ainít worth it, bickering over cheese.

    No way weíll buy labels, a long list of fables,

    Just give it to us straight, weíll stay young and able.

    We read every label, GMO drives us mad,

    Mutations and zombies, we all know how bad.

    Workout in our short-shorts, weíre all out of shirts

    Five finger foot-wear, makes us cool nerds.

    Washing our hands, no chemicals needed,

    Dishes as well, hot water will beat it.

    A little of that powder, most use for baking,

    Vinegar and soda, makes cleaning less frightening.

    Our water is sacred, filtered not chilled,

    Even our showers have a special kind of shield.

    Our toothpaste peculiar, no fluoride for me,

    One time I even used an organic ghee.

    No thank-you sir, no aluminum from thee,

    Deodorant from oils? We say yes please!

    Bed-sheet on our windows, and not on our beds,

    Shouldnít it be here, keeping us warm instead?

    Bump into our furniture, sure thatís ok,

    We could turn on a light, to avoid a knee sprain.

    Shaving is for suckers, most of us agree,

    Letís stop today, and celebrate with glee.

    We prefer to stand, our desks are so high,

    Ergonomic perhaps, is a small compromise.

    A glass of hot water, some lemon in our tea,

    Meditation right after, reigning in that chi.

    Coconut oil might be to eat,

    We use it for everything, from head to our feet.

    From cleaning our teeth, to healing a wound,

    Rub it on our skin, and lifting our mood.

    We re-use jars, for so many things,

    Activating our nuts, ensuring it brings,

    A poop thatís so perfect, we say it straight faced,

    Speak not at the table, itíd be in bad taste.

    Our salt comes from mountains, and usually itís pink,

    When we eat our red kimchi, mum says it stinks.

    We visit the butcher, he knows us by name,

    Loves us and hates us, we drive him insane.

    Is it grass-fed? Grain just ainít the same,

    We give him a lesson, boy what a pain.

    Get us started on fish, weíll be here for hours,

    Wild, not captive, grilled without flours.

    We go to the market with re-usable bags,

    Hippies in the making, dreadlocks ainít no fad.

    Even on a Saturday, we look at the clock,

    Like Cinderella, shoes are a crock.

    Dicing and slicing, a little of that liver,

    Kidney and brain, donít make us shiver.

    Ice-trays full of broth, kefir on its way,

    Kombucha fermenting, oh get us away!

    Onto a small Island, where we can all hide,

    Away from the judgement, the eyes that do pry.

    With a couple of others, who live the same way,

    In with the monkeys, who just love to play.

    Hunting and gathering might be too much,

    Thank goodness for ease, the bush might be real tough.

    Yeah, so weíre weirdos, eccentric and odd,

    Not harming anybody, just silly little sods.

    Our fingers are crossed, that this hereís endearing,

    Hanging from the trees, the kids sit there leering.

    Do we really care, if folks think us queer?

    On second thoughts Ė NO! Öweíll stay right here.

    Ode to Primal Weirdos
    AKA: Texas Grok

    Quote Originally Posted by texas.grok View Post
    Facebook is to intelligence what a black hole is to light

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Definitely smiled a few times while reading

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    New Zealand

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