JB's War of the Words
Literally I have taken a deep breath and started typing this.......I have read many journals and have lurked here for a couple of years.
Witty writers, people with sad life experiences, those with enough knowledge of nutrition and exercise to start their own practice and the just plain depressed have all contributed to my knowledge base. So in the hope of adding to the conversation and in the spirit of accountability here I am!
When reading the journals and posts I am often in awe of the posters, they seem to know just what to say and are very clear of their pathway. Sometimes I feel so wishy washy compared to these posters. I have started and stopped Primal with pathetic regularity. The Zone of Misery is where I have been living for about all of my life or so it feels. I am sure their are others who know that not quite on or not quite off the program.
Sure I can see and read what others are going through and know in my heart that if they would only.... insert common sense answer here "like keep carbs under 50 grams" or "of course you don't have to eat crap because someone made it (it's poison after all)" such a shame that I have not applied this common sense to myself. I am a past master at warring with myself in my head I am reasonably intelligent ( at least I can tie my own shoelaces) but I have not conquered this war with myself and the verbal beating up has to stop and one way to do that is to get out of the misery zone and stop warring with myself.
Well there comes a time when a person has to decide whether to become accountable and DO the program or move along. Clearly I have decided to become accountable by writing this journal and tracking my behaviour and subsequent successes and failures and lets keep it real there will be both to celebrate and commiserate.
I have just weighed myself so commiseration number one!
Yesterday I started in my home gym with weights and completed a hard but quick round of
squats x 8 @ 30kg
dead lifts x 8 @ 35kg
Bentover rows x 8 @ 25kgs
chest press x 8 @ 25kgs
A pantry purge is happening today! I have already eaten breakfast which was not primal but who cares I am starting now regardless after all there is no time like the present.
Last night DH and I went to a live show we saw Kate Cebrano she was fantastic. We had dinner beforehand in a German restaurant. I had pork belly and red cabbage it was primal and ok but overpriced. As we got there early we were seated in the window area of the restaurant. We both chose to face the window and people watch which meant every time the waiters and waitresses came up to the table it was like a scary surprise!
Today we walked on the beach for our exercise, truth be told we did not walk that far as the wind was hot.
I am borrowing the book body by science from DS it looks like an interesting way of working out. DH reckons we don't need the book just do 5 compound exercises until failure once a week.
He is prob right I always complicate things and have to follow the rules and be perfect or it's not real or something.
I will be doing my before pictures this week seems all I have are befores and no afters!
I am catching up with some gf's this evening to record some fun stuff for a friends wedding. We all met as parents of talented kids at a stage craft studio and have remained fast friends. It seems only fitting we do some kind of crazy performance for a friends wedding right? It will be lots of fun. We are doing an ABBA compilation.
Which all makes for a lovely weekend.
Today's eating has been primal
For breakfast I had a mushroom bacon and egg omelette with coffee.
Then dinner was steak , ceaser salad with home-made mayo and baked sweet potato yum!
I have realised that I can do two weeks before falling off the primal wagon. So I will be vigilant and proactive to counter act the two week fall off.
Yesterdays recording was a hoot!.
Our friendship is so special we are all so very different from each other but we are all so accepting of each other. Put it this way no one can get away with believing in any B.S. about themselves because we all laugh about each others shortfalls. All with the best intentions though.
I have the first of my final exams for university tomorrow hopefully I have studied enough. Funny at this stage I often wonder if I have studied enough or if the care factor just goes to zero to protect my ego!
Exam one is done and dusted! Just two more and an essay worth 50% left ----I can see the finish line.
Today is Melbourne cup day and we will probably place a bet on a couple of horses, we never seem to win but it's the only day we place bets so we have no idea what we are doing. It's more about the spirit of the day though.
Tonight DH and I go to Italian lessons so I try really hard to prepare Tuesdays dinner on Mondays. I made a killer lamb shank casserole yesterday and will serve it with cauliflower mash.
All in all I am travelling along ok with this new version of PB staying under 50 grams of carbs quite easily. As I mentioned before the two week mark is my danger zone so I am not shouting from the rooftops that I am perfect... yet!
I have noticed when I get busy and am not organised enough with food in the fridge to grab and go I struggle the most. So note to self GET ORGANISED
I am not sure how people keep up with the whole journaling thing, it has been 3 days since I posted last and I swear it was just yesterday.
My life at the moment is hopelessly busy. Between work and study and of course the silly season has started.
I seem to be running most of the time. Clearly I need to slow down and breathe.
DH has given up diary for the last two weeks and has moved his belt in a notch! Perhaps I too should drop the dairy to see if it has any effect. I noticed last night that his jaw line is becoming more pronounced which I always think is a sign of weight loss to come.
I am feeling really quite stressed about my next exam. The subject is statistics and as far as I am concerned this is the last time I will be using the formulas.... I reckon I was elsewhere when the numbers gene was being handed out. Managing the stress while revising for the exam that is in four days will be my focus for now of course clean eating will be really helpful too.
The two week mark is looming and guess what I did not even make it to two weeks I have been eating off program and feel like hell. I can't believe how stressed exams make me feel. Just one more and an essay worth 50% and university degree achieved
Today I am back to clean eating (again) sigh!
I have been looking at joining a gym nearby so I can do weights, yoga and pilates.
DH is not interested in working out at all it seems so the whole home gym has been a bit of a failure.
I need someone to spot for me and I figure at the gym the instructors will be on hand.
We are off to the local theatre tonight to watch a play a friend of ours has directed.
Then Saturday brings my friends hens night which includes a belly dancing class and a Middle Eastern restaurant complete with a fortune teller. The food is a banquet style and is prepaid so I will have to make careful choices.
Last night was a fun night.
We started with a belly dancing class. Who would of thought jiggling your body would be sooo hard! Watching the instructor was inspiring but the mirrors showed us that her ability to isolate body parts and jiggle them was a real skill and not one that we had. We laughed so much at ourselves trying to pull off the moves so good for the soul.
The food at the restaurant was delicious and primal except for the flat bread used for the dips. Fresh tabouli and salad, lamb koftas, chicken shish kebabs. Yum.
As we were leaving the restaurant it started to rain so we were pretty wet by the time we got to our cars. We were parked in a three story car park and it took us 40 minutes to exit the car park. I hate how something like that can put a dampner on a really great evening.
I have read a fair way through the body by science book and feel that it could work for me. I really think I need to join a gym to do it so I can use the heavy weights of a machine.
My reward for finishing university will be a gym membership me thinks. I am so looking forward to being able to focus on more than business and university. Sounds like an excuse but the head space here is full with not a lot of room for extras even those such as exercise and food planning. I plan to become my own project.
The weather is pretty miserable here today lucky all I have planned is study and essay writing.
I was reading on another thread http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread97014.html
about protein requirements. I am going to follow the 1.3 grams per kg so I have to consume 110 grams of protein phew!
I really don't want to track anything and have resisted but I am not loosing weight and feeling better so I guess I should follow the damn instructions!
Today so far up to lunch but have planned dinner.
B: left over roast lamb
L: Broccoli bacon and sweet potato
D: Rump steak and ceaser salad (minus the croutons of course)
So to follow the protein requirement I need to sit down tonight and eat a cow!
Tomorrow I will plan this out better.
I AM STARVING!
So much for the eat more protein plan.
This morning I felt sick with a headache and unwell tummy. I forced myself to eat three boiled eggs with some butter.
Now I am feeling better and could eat a horse but I am at work with no way to get food until one o'clock.
I need to stock the fridge at work with compliant food.
So I made it through to one o'clock and ate stir fry of chicken and veggies.
The next challenge turned out to be dinner.
The epic filming for my friends wedding continued tonight. I guess a little background would help understand this whole situation.
This group of friends met years ago as our kids all attended an acting studio. Classes were offered in drama, singing and dance.
As parents we then decided we would have an adults class of dance, really it was more about fun and fellowship.
Our class even performed in the end of year concerts, hilarity not talent was the point. The studio had a talented bunch of kids , the cream of the crop, called 'State of the arts' taken from all of the classes, our group was called 'state of the arse'.
The title alone should inform that we were all about fun not talent.
Well this group has survived the kids growing up and moving on, the close of the studio, marriage failures, cancer and brain tumours.
One of our group is remarrying and of course we could not let the opportunity pass to give a performance. The theme is we are all wanna be bridesmaids and are in training for the event. We have recorded Abba songs and videoed shopping for bridesmaid dresses in an Opportunity shop, filmed ourselves in training at the gym in our 80s bridesmaid dresses. The bride to be will not be surprised but the rest of the guests.... well who cares about them we have had a blast and the bride will appreciate it all (probably she will be disappointed she did not get to be in on all the fun). We have one very talented member of the group who will edit the whole thing and it will be played at the reception.
So dinner for the rest of the group was KFC, me I resisted and came home and cooked lamb chops and pumpkin and broccoli.
B:3 boiled eggs and butter
L: Chicken stir fry with veggies
D:Lamb loin chops, Mashed pumpkin,Broccoli
and a glass of white wine