Today was pretty normal, but when I got back to the neighborhood there was a HORDE of what I can only describe as zombies. THERE WERE SO MANY. They were all really small, too! I don't know what caused the outbreak, but it's here! My preparation and training just kicked in--I didn't ever think I would need it, but now I'm glad I was ready.
The first horde that was crossing the street...I just drove over. I automatically switched to 4WD without thinking, but I still got bogged down in the pile of tiny zombie bodies. The sounds! The worst was the one zombie that was inexplicably dressed as Spiderman. Most of them were clutching bags. Medicine fell out of the bags--I don't know; maybe they were all drugged and that's how the outbreak started. The outbreak drugs (?) looked almost like candy. I can't be sure; everything happened so fast.
By the time I was able to plow through the second and third horde my vehicle was slowing down considerably--I don't know if something was caught up underneath, or if my drivetrain was damaged--I didn't have time to find out. Some of the larger zombies were pounding on my car, trying to get in, and screaming guttural, unintelligible noises. It was horrific. I managed to escape, but my vehicle was damaged and almost undriveable. I E-brake parked it, grabbed my Zombie Bag and machete out of the back, and made my way home quickly. I was able to take out six or eight more zombies on the way by sneaking up on them. Two had butterfly wings on?!?
I'm barricaded now, in an elevated position with clear fields of fire. I'm being careful not to make any noise or turn on any lights. I don't know how long we'll still have internet after this outbreak, but we have to band together to survive.
I hear sirens in the distance--but I think it's too late for the authorities to help.
Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.
Griff's cholesterol primer
5,000 Cal Fat <> 5,000 Cal Carbs
Winterbike: What I eat every day is what other people eat to treat themselves.
TQP: I find for me that nutrition is much more important than what I do in the gym.
bloodorchid is always right
Ha ha ha that is gonna go viral
If you're interested in my (very) occasional updates on how I'm working out and what I'm eating click here.
My laugh of the day
Started Feb 18 2011
"There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path" - Morpheus
I got 28. I suggest they are talking about average sized, undernourished 5 yr olds (or "averagely, normally fed chicken-nugget diets").
Because my one guy, size of an average 7 year old (apparently by the charts), nourished to high heaven, knocks the crap out of us just running from room to room in excitement.
Same thing here Mr. Anthony, we are in lockdown. I've drugged the dogs so they won't bark and blow our cover.
Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.
Halloween is getting rained out here. I don't see any zombies, but there are witches melted in the streets.
Last edited by JoanieL; 10-31-2013 at 08:51 PM.
"Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine
Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.
i saw no zombies, i didn't get to run any over either
there was rain and wind and tornado warnings, i think they all got bogged down in the woods
yeah you are
Over the next 90 minutes, I want to show you that all of your problems can be solved with my penis.