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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liftinglife View Post
    I do like it soft and sweet, It's not that I like it rough it's just that I like it freaky. I don't need to have my holes ripped open by cockzilla... I just like variety, dirty talk, play, aggressive manners I guess would be the term? I have told him that but I don't think he understands and I don't want to teach him per say. and our sex life is still relatively new. He has expressed some performance anxieties and I don't want to make that worse. I believe in time I will gradually and gently turn him out. I once mentioned a 3 sum and he wasn't feeling it at all so I was like "ummm just kidding haha" �� I asked him what's the freakiest thing he ever did and it was just anal, but it was done in a boring way like all prepared for and everything. I could so imagine him siting in the bed waiting for her to douche her booty and then them like systamaticaly making out and blah blah blah.... So then I asked him if he's ever done it in public, and of corse he said he can barely do it in bed much less in public. ya know I can tell he needs baby steps.... I'm ok with it because I'm not in a rush it's just sex. We dated for many months before bring intimate so when sex doesn't work out we do have other common interest. It's actually my first relationship where sex is actually just an "bonus".
    did he have an uber conservative upbringing?

    i'm also leaning towards the psychological over the physical. dude has issues...

  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by moluv View Post
    He said that even if its not his favorite thing to start with he will like it just because I like it. But this is a generous man whose main purpose in life seems to be giving me multiple orgasms. He knows my body as well as I do and is very patient.
    Yeap, that's kind of how it is for me as well. We don't always get off and we don't always get off simultaneously (something that a surprising number of people still seem to think is "normal", but no, really do it however you want!), but we both have fun.
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  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by not on the rug View Post
    did he have an uber conservative upbringing?

    i'm also leaning towards the psychological over the physical. dude has issues...
    Starting to sound that way for sure. What a waste of quality tail.

  4. #74
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    His mother was a crack whore and he was adopted at a young age by a very conservative couple he refers to as his parents. He does seem to remember his mom overdosing a couple of times, but over all his upbringing was very conservative.

  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by RichMahogany View Post
    Starting to sound that way for sure. What a waste of quality tail.
    perhaps he can be salvaged and ravage dat-ass like it deserves to be.

    Quote Originally Posted by Liftinglife View Post
    His mother was a crack whore and he was adopted at a young age by a very conservative couple he refers to as his parents. He does seem to remember his mom overdosing a couple of times, but over all his upbringing was very conservative.
    i'm thinking that counseling would probably do him wonders. and not just in the sex department

  6. #76
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    I have my own issues as well, and I'm sure there are a lot of issues he deals with. Like I'm noticing that as he gets more comfortable with me his O improves...yet after our first spat I tried to see if I could get some angry sex and he couldn't perform. That tells me right off bat that it's not all physical.

  7. #77
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    Liftinglife- earlier you mentioned asking for a 3some and getting a nil response. Keep asking! The first time I asked I got shut down pretty quick, and I had not mentioned again until recently. This time I got a maybe. Then he did some research on his own about how to make it go well and not wreck our marriage. That's huge progress! I don't think it will happen right away but now it's in his mind and next time it may be him who brings it up (best case scenario). I also had wanted to sell my worn thongs on craigslist (don't ask, there's a market, I'm curious about the easy $$) and at first he was shocked and I've now mentioned it 3-4 times and he finally said yeah go for it. So if you don't get what you want at first, keep asking. It may take some time for an idea to grow on him.

  8. #78
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    Ok, might as well add something other than a stupid comment.

    To the OP, someone else mentioned sex is very much a mental activity as much as a physical activity. If one is not completely enjoying it, there are a couple of possibilities. One could be medications. Some affect that area of life in a significant way. Another possibility is a physical issue or condition. If it is not one of those, it must be something psychological. If so, it's not like a light switch that can be flipped and it be all better but if both parties are on the same page, it can be solved. Maybe a little hinting early in the day about what is going to happen later, or a surprise blindfold, or something that creates the heightened mood. Partners can be really frustrated as you or someone else mentioned because they will think it is a technique thing. It probably isnt, just need to build up to the right frame of mind. Trust has to exist for it to happen without pressure.

    And to the vanilla boyfriend situation, could be a physical or psychological issue or could be taking care of himself too much when you arent around?? Just throwing that out there. Sometimes guys just watch too much porn and real life ends up not being as exciting. And between you and moluv, I cant get anything done at the office today. Imagination running wild.

  9. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by RichMahogany View Post
    Starting to sound that way for sure. What a waste of quality tail.
    Lol ☺️

  10. #80
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    On to the real topic...

    My first gf was an on top O-girl. I didn't realize at the time but she squirted a little. We didn't have a condom (stupid kids) so I was pulling out cause I was close and woosh. In the back of my head I was thinking, "wait that wasn't me". No biggie, cleaned up and got back to it. There had been some negative events in her past so I think the control helped and I had no issues with that. We weren't together a long time so not sure if the O's would have come in other situations after a while.

    Now my wife on the other hand is good to go with the O's. I'm no superstar so I'm more than happy to put in the extra work to get the job done. Just because I can only go once there's no reason she shouldn't get the chance to before, during, and after.

    Oh, and toys... use them.
    Last edited by Kegas76; 10-28-2013 at 10:02 AM.

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