Me in every diet discussion: "I have read in this source and that to do this, based on these studies, blah blah blah."
Other person: "Ok, but what do YOU do?"
Me: "oh, I don't do any of that shit. I think that rabbit liver stew is my favorite meal and I randomly will decide to not eat for a few days....then I eat 4 pounds of blueberries in one sitting and take a nap."
Other person: " WTF!? Then why did you just say that other stuff?"
Me: "Well, you wouldnt listen to me if I told you to go eat rabbit organs, so I improvised."