Firstly, what an entertaining read, really enjoying the 3rd person narrative, and humorous outlook. I assume caveBEE is your SO.
Secondly, HOLY SHIT batman! That's some serious transformation. Respect, kudos and felicitations. I'm female (nearly called myself a girl and then remembered I'm way too old for that) and I'M jealous of those shoulders! Ha ha! Seriously dude ( I'm pulling my serious face now), that's some bad ass work you've done.
I'm not saying lets kill all the stupid people in the world, I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem take care of itself.