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Thread: Girlfriend isn't getting results--what could be wrong? page 2

  1. #11
    OldSchhool's Avatar
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    I'm guessing that she is going on sugar binges when you are not around. This would explain the lack of fat loss and the Insulin surges leading to her bouts of tiredness.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by apoclater View Post
    3. It just takes longer to see serious definition than it does to lose serious body fat. When I see success stories of primal it seems like it's mostly guys who have gone from having big guts to looking like fit people--I rarely see the "just a little extra" girl turn into the incredibly fit crossfit-looking girl. So maybe under a bit of outward fat, there is serious muscle being built and it will be another couple months to shed the outward body fat.
    It takes a VERY long time to see any kind of serious definition and it also takes a heck of a lot of dieting. The reason you see more male success stories like that is because it works much easier for me. To look like an incredibly fit crossfit-looking girl takes a lot more dedication than many women have, especially by our 40s.

    Quote Originally Posted by apoclater View Post
    I just get really discouraged reading forums where ladies who have switched to primal and heavy lifting, and they describe getting incredibly awesome results, and she hasn't gotten anything. I'd like to help her with as many tips as I can.
    I'm in my late 40s and I have gotten incredibly awesome results, but if you saw me walking down the street you'd probably not even notice me. You'd probably just see a slightly overweight middle-aged short woman if you saw me at all. You'd have no idea I've ever squatted my bodyweight or deadlifted my boyfriend's bodyweight. You'd never see my abs, but I can feel them so I'm the only one who knows they are there. You'd never notice the definition on my arms but man I sure do. Those upper arms have vexed me my entire life and now they are firm and little muscles move around that I can see. I feel a lot better in my body, too, even though it looks pretty much the same. That's the biggest awesome of all.

    I have worked hard for a year and pressing the empty bar sometimes is all I can manage. Pressing sucks. It just does. It doesn't go anywhere for me. It goes up for a while, then comes crashing down. The most I have pressed is 67.5lbs for one rep. The other day I did 65lbs for 2 reps. It's just too random.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Highest squat: 167.5 x 2. Current Deadlift: 195 x 3

  3. #13
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    How does SHE feel about her diet, exercise, body composition? Did she ask you for help? Does she feel cared for/loved by you for who she is or does she feel like she's not "awesome" or lean enough for you?

    If she wants help have HER reach out here. If you think she isn't good enough as she is then cut her loose and find the "awesome success" you seem to want/need.

  4. #14
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    What blood work did she have done? Did she check her thyroid and cortisol levels? Inability to lose weight and being tired are both signs of low thyroid and low cortisol. BTW is she is low in these IF is not a good idea.
    Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

  5. #15
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    If she is keeping primal full time (and not cheating heaps) then she needs to eat more, more than she thinks she does, especially more protein.

    Secondly, be patient! And stop looking at fitspo!
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  6. #16
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    To look like an incredibly fit crossfit-looking girl takes a lot more dedication than many women have, especially by our 40s.
    It's either a body type you have, or something you can get at expense of your health.

    I'm all for eating right and CrossFit. I do both. but really, the women don't all look like that. I do know one from my old gym, a trainer, who went from fat to ripped. She was ripped for 2 weeks for a photoshoot and starved herself to get there. She went back to her old healthy eating and the belly came right back. So she went from fat to awesome to healthy.

    Don't get me wrong, I'd love to look like a fitness model, I think they look amazing. But what I'd have to go through physically and mentally to get there is not worth it. I think when guys see a fitness model and think- oh, she is muscular, lean, my girlfriend could get that, that they need to look at someone like body builder or really muscular man and consider the effort it would take to get that. That is the equivalent of effort needed for change.

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  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by marcadav View Post
    How does SHE feel about her diet, exercise, body composition? Did she ask you for help? Does she feel cared for/loved by you for who she is or does she feel like she's not "awesome" or lean enough for you?

    If she wants help have HER reach out here. If you think she isn't good enough as she is then cut her loose and find the "awesome success" you seem to want/need.
    This. I don't think anyone should be giving this guy advice about his girlfriend when we don't know - first hand - 1) whether she wants help/advice or 2) whether this is something SHE wants or something he wants for her.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by marcadav View Post
    How does SHE feel about her diet, exercise, body composition? Did she ask you for help? Does she feel cared for/loved by you for who she is or does she feel like she's not "awesome" or lean enough for you?

    If she wants help have HER reach out here. If you think she isn't good enough as she is then cut her loose and find the "awesome success" you seem to want/need.
    +1. She needs to do it for herself. If she's not interested then that's that but she sure as hell shouldn't be doing it for anyone else.

  9. #19
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    1. Maybe she needs more carbs. If she's adapting and not trying to lose a whole lot of weight, and working out a lot, maybe she needs more carbs. Get on a primal/paleo diet that works first, then tweak for better results.
    2. Sometimes people need to heal. My wife and I both lost 35-40 lbs in the same year, but mine were nearly all in the first six months and hers were in the last six. She had other things going on inside that needed to happen before her body could drop the weight.
    3. Pressing sucks for women. My wife lifted consistently for 6 months or so, before we moved. She made it up to 55 lbs a few times. She could do the bar easily, 50 lbs reasonably okay, and never completed her sets and reps at 55lbs.

  10. #20
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    Heya, here are my two cents based on my own experiences with fitness and weight loss. It is a long term process, and since you are doing it together, I think it would be great to increase the fun factor and give it a romantic twist.

    I would address 'always tired' before I address the belly fat and the inability to do a push-up. Get a better idea on how she eats, sleeps and how much time she spends walking around outdoors, and watch out for obvious problems like caffeine and sugar.

    Fitness wise, I think she will benefit the most from long leasury walks in pretty romantic parks with you, skating in the winter, playing in the pool and all sorts of outdoors activities that do not put stress on her.

    if she weighs over 140 lbs, a full pull-up is unlikely to happen unless she has supreme upper body muscle build (if she can't press 45 lbs overhead, do the math). Give her an assist and make her do negatives, then weighted negatives.

    If she is completely untrained the Olympic barbells are too heavy for her to gain strength. I started with 30 lbs bar after doing bootcamps for a year buiding up from 5 lbs dumbells. I push-press 70 lbs on a good day and my max was 85 lbs (never repeated since). Get her to train boot camp style for a few month, gradually increasing the weight and improving her form and if the gym allows doing dynamic lifts, like KBs. What looks like 'too light' weights for you will be just right to start stimulating a much weaker upper body in a woman and give her a room to grow. Again, KBs are to girls what barbell is to a man. Best friend.

    Make sure she adds a couple-three cardio sessions a week, and start slow, work your way to HIT. Got to a Zumba class with her or just dance together increasing the intensity.
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