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Thread: Convincing my girlfriend page 3

  1. #21
    LauraSB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisepassion View Post
    The guy I am dating isn't paleo, but is surprised he doesn't have headaches and crash after work ever since he replaced Oreos with a clean whey protein blended with banana and almond milk ( I suggested this). He is also surprised he isn't hungry/peckish anymore. Little by little he is asking for half rice noodles and double veggies/meat from his Thai takeout, eating less junk, eating more protein...

    He is mostly becoming convinced because he feels good by cutting junk out and because he sees me eating twice the amt of meat he can eat at a brazilian grill and stay lean.
    This is pretty much how it has worked with my family. Dinners got more and more primal. Then those kinds of choices bled over into their other meals. They felt better, they got to eat stuff that for years they felt like they should be depriving themselves of and they lost weight while feeling as if they were eating more.

    The only thing I ever said about food is "more nutrients over less nutrients". I don't think they have ever heard the word primal. They see the parallels with paleo, because paleo is all over the place these days, but they don't see their diets as paleo, or anything really. And they're not, because everyone's free to choose whatever they like. There's still some crap in the house. They choose it less and less. We would never have gotten to this point if I'd presented a diet with rules.
    50yo, 5'3"
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    CW-125, part calorie counting, part transition to primal
    GW- Goals are no longer weight-related

  2. #22
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    Just be a good example, never try to argue with a chick using logic, watch her noticing your progress, slip her a mainstream article about a celeb or 2 doing Paleo and let the herd instinct take over.
    Last edited by Legbiter; 09-19-2013 at 05:20 AM.

  3. #23
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    MIstressKiki is offline Senior Member
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    Respect her as the adult she is and let her ruin her own health. She will only 'convert' if she decides to - you can't make that decision for her. If she decides, at her own pace, to improve her diet then great, but it shows a degree of disrespect if you keep banging on at her how she is ruining her health, 'ought to' eat PB/Paleo etc. In the long run she is more likely to end the relationship if you are seen to be hassling her when she doesn't want to change :-P

    If all else is great then the relationship will survive the differences in diet. Even if she doesn't .......
    I don't ask that you like me - all I ask is that you respect my life experiences and i will do the same.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Legbiter View Post
    Just be a good example, never try to argue with a chick using logic, watch her noticing your progress, slip her a mainstream article about a celeb or 2 doing Paleo and let the herd instinct take over.
    Wow this is really offensive.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Current squat: 180 x 2. Current Deadlift: 230 x 2

  5. #25
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    "you can lead a horse to water..." The more you push, the more she'll resist. No, you are not an expert, even most experts aren't experts, just regurgitating what they are taught.

    PB/Paleo is total anarchy against CW. No bread? Are you nuts?

    I have been Paleo for two years, and the adults in my family (husband, MIL, FIL and adult son) all comment on my weight loss, my improved physical health, my better attitude, but will not give up all the crap. They do read labels, looking for HFCS, which, of course, is in all their junkie/processed food, but will not change.

    Be respectful of her eating habits, but don't be tempted to stray away from your own. She has the ignorant masses on her side (FDA, USDA, RDs, and most MDs), so stay strong and start cooking (not her, although she is an acceptable PB food) for you both. She can decide to eat your food or, cook for herself.

  6. #26
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    Hi all,

    Thanks for all the advice! I'm particularly partial now to the idea of being able to show her videos... I don't know why this has not already crossed my mind. I didn't know that there was a Dr. Oz feature, but I'll try and find this -- never mind, I just found it in the middle of typing this..

  7. #27
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    I went paleo after my husband did, and yes - watching him get leaner and heal his gut was really convincing. Also, it's really nice to know someone else has your back, and it certainly makes going out easier - now we just pick the places that have the most options for us. However, I'll say that it took me almost a year to switch over after he started it. I did make some good changes along the way, but it wasn't til I totally cut all the crap out that I really gained control over my body and health.

    In my case I have a strong (understatement) family history of diabetes (I & II), and I never realized how at the mercy of my blood sugar I was until I fully cut out the things that were controlling it. Now I control my blood sugar, not the other way around, and it feels amazing. Feeling like this helps a lot when it comes to saying 'no' to stuff.

    I will say my husband never preached, 'sold it', or nagged and I appreciate that. He always just matter of factly went about it, and started doing things differently. In turn, I did some research on my own, and realized that to control my blood sugar, I should be eating pretty much like him, and I could also see that he was experiencing some dramatic positive changes (no more acid reflux! allergies almost disappeared) and really no negative ones. Even after that though, it still took some time to really make the internal commitment. When I did, I never had a bigger supporter. But he didn't rub it in, he was just happy that I was making changes that made me feel better. I sincerely appreciate his patience and support.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by thedouglenz View Post
    Hi all,

    Thanks for all the advice! I'm particularly partial now to the idea of being able to show her videos... I don't know why this has not already crossed my mind. I didn't know that there was a Dr. Oz feature, but I'll try and find this -- never mind, I just found it in the middle of typing this..
    I showed my boyfriend Fat Head so he could see that eating meat and fat wouldn't kill him. He was really excited by it because he has experienced exactly as it was described in there how when Tom Naughton went on a low fat diet he got really depressed. He was like "Wow, that has happened to me every time!" And told me stories about how his cholesterol cure and resulting depression long ago was part of the demise of his marriage. But that didn't make him want to change his diet. Really the only thing has been me serving him better food. He's slowly come on board a little bit but he still brings home stuff like brown rice pasta noodles now and then.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Current squat: 180 x 2. Current Deadlift: 230 x 2

  9. #29
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    Wow this is really offensive.
    There is a lot of that on this topic. I would be really afraid to be in a long term committed relationship with someone who called me a ditz or assumed I would take health cues from a celebrity because I wouldn't switch up my diet.

    Not for nothing, but while I feel going gluten free is a great idea for health, as is eating whole foods, I think I fucked myself over on the carb restriction aspects of primal. The issues I am dealing with now make me kind of regret ever making the decision to watch my carb intake.

    I'm not fully sold on the Primal Blueprint as some form of health elixir to be bought into blindly. I think in the short term it works well for weight loss. I think in the long term, if you can't let go of carb restriction, it could be harmful. I am very pleased with the weightloss benefits. But overall, my health has suffered in some ways, with hair loss and skin issues, backed up by an uneasy level of perpetual depression and fogginess that I can't shake UNLESS I eat a lot of carbs (relative) which means I eat less fat.

    It makes sense to me that she would be skeptical, that a lot of people would be skeptical. Blindly accepting that eating copious amounts of bacon is somehow better than eating fruit and wheatberries is not smart. Common sense- focusing on whole foods versus crap- YES, that is a good idea. But I'm not altogether certain that a lot of things that people seem to like most about the Primal Blueprint are of benefit to all people.

    Most women who are even just a little overweight have probably read more articles and "stuff" on diet then you can imagine. Honestly, I'd be more concerned about her critical thinking if she just immediately bought into it. Yes, she can read the book, and the research and it's well laid out and makes sense. But chances are her past included reading 10 other diet books with other "plans" just as well researched and laid out that ended up failing her.

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  10. #30
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    It's a slow process. If you stick to it and she will see benefits of your new lifestyle she will probably get interested and start follow. As many have mentioned before - cook for her if your living arrangements allows that! Demanding of her cooking you primal would be like shooting yourself in the foot!
    My husband thought I was doing something totally weird, but he was just watching from the distance, raising alarm only few times when he realised how I converted from no/low fat to... healthy fat (not healthy in his opinion - can't blame him, we were all brainwashed and I'm the one to blame for previously switching all our products to low fat!).
    I've been cooking same meals for both of us but just added potato or pasta or rice for him.
    Since I went Primal I have become much more inventive in the kitchen department and I think he could appreciate different flavours and ways of cooking, so far there ha been nothing he didn't like.
    Yep, he was making fun of me, not in social situations and not in front of people but he would laugh saying I'm just overdoing it and should let myself be. He found it hard to believe that I actually don't miss bread, rice, pasta, beans and all baking goodies... That crisps, peanuts and other snacks are not appealing to me anymore. He was convinced that Primal is a torture not a happy lifestyle...
    And then he noticed big changes in my body and my well-being - I was never big, but I have lost 9kg and become more lean muscle / much less fat, developed a relatively flat stomach, so I look much more sporty now and he loves it. I also have enormous energy levels and I love being active, don't have to force myself to go out and do something for fitness. And I enjoy preparing delicious new meals. But the most important - I'm off my medication and finally can breath and sleep and live with my chronic sinusitis gone! It's hard not to notice massive positive change!
    I wasn't telling him what to eat, what not to eat (and like your girlfriend he has problems that I believe are diet / allergy related but specialist consultants are happy to put him on expensive medications despite lack of diagnosis) - I simply cooked our meals and made sure he can enjoy his.

    On Sunday he told me he wants to do Primal! :-)
    Last edited by KiteKasia; 09-19-2013 at 10:00 AM.

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