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Thread: Is monogamy worthwhile; is there a point to it? page 8

  1. #71
    zoebird's Avatar
    zoebird is offline Senior Member
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    Reading the OP, I'd say that if something is no big deal for you, then it's no big deal for you. And if something is a big deal for you, then it is.

    I, personally, enjoy monogamy with my husband, whom I met when I was 20. I'm 37 now. So, that's a decent run.

    I also think that, so long as we were honest and upfront about it, we could have an open relationship if we both wished. But, we're mostly so busy and ambitious and stuff (with our work), and busy with our kiddo -- that the thought of trying to foster another relationship of this sort is a bit overwhelming. But I know folks who do it, so, you know, good on them and stuff. No judgment from me.

  2. #72
    Goldie's Avatar
    Goldie is offline Senior Member
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    Monogamy makes sense from an evolutionary point of view to limit sexually transmitted diseases. STDs can cause infertility and/or birth defects. Pass that around and in a generation or two, your tribe is extinct, and so is the tribe that "shared" the STD with you.

  3. #73
    KimInGA's Avatar
    KimInGA is offline Senior Member
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    It's worth it if you're at a point in your life when you're ready to settle down, and won't resent the freedoms you give up to make it work. And of course if you have found the right other half, that goes without saying. I've been with my husband for almost 7 years now (married for almost 5) and I'm very happy. The reality is that if you drop the person you're with every time you can score someone "better", then the same will happen to you as soon as you hit a low point. Maybe you get seriously injured or suffer a major financial setback or something along those lines. If you're committed, your partner is there for you because s/he is looking at things in the long term. Or at least that's how it works for us. I love my husband. I'm not out looking for someone incrementally better ... even when he does things that irritate me!

  4. #74
    wiltondeportes's Avatar
    wiltondeportes Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by KimInGA View Post
    It's worth it if you're at a point in your life when you're ready to settle down, and won't resent the freedoms you give up to make it work. And of course if you have found the right other half, that goes without saying. I've been with my husband for almost 7 years now (married for almost 5) and I'm very happy. The reality is that if you drop the person you're with every time you can score someone "better", then the same will happen to you as soon as you hit a low point. Maybe you get seriously injured or suffer a major financial setback or something along those lines. If you're committed, your partner is there for you because s/he is looking at things in the long term. Or at least that's how it works for us. I love my husband. I'm not out looking for someone incrementally better ... even when he does things that irritate me!
    I don't approach weaknesses in monogamy from a value perspective. I just think variety is spicier.

  5. #75
    Antiochia's Avatar
    Antiochia is offline Senior Member
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    This answers the original question better than I can:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNfvuJr9164

    I have been married for 36 years now; we are monogamous, and I can't imagine doing things any differently. If he is the one to pass first, I can't imagine being with anyone else. DH and I have built a life together.
    Ruth

    "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
    ~Bill Cosby

    See my journal, The Balancing Act: Integrating Primal into My Life, for menu plans, musings, and more.

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