Welcome. I look forward to regular posts.
I am excited about starting this journal however worried to put myself out here on the internets! I am extremely hopeful that this writing will help me reach my health goals and lead a more fulfilling life. My relationship with food has been sick and twisted for a long long time, about half my life I would say. Starving and over exercising in high school with treatment for anorexia, followed by binging and purging for the last several years.
So yeah, not pretty!! Time to say adios to that way of life and move on to bigger and more exciting times.
I am in my mid 20s living in an urban area. I work in healthcare and have a very challenging job that makes me feel terrible about myself a lot of the time. Mostly self-induced, since I am pretty tough on myself. And the stress from work makes me stress eat, and that leads to self destructive behaviors.....
I used to be a pretty talented athlete! I played sports at a high level in high school (despite the eating disorder) and college, and now I do.....almost nothing active. I am dying, and have been dying (for years), to change that.
I have always been more of the quiet person happy to sit in the background and observe. And I really honestly do love being by myself. However....I would love to have a more active social life and people to hang out with on a regular basis. I have been married for a few months, however I am not living with my husband right now since we both have good jobs (just in different towns, several hours apart). So that plays into the stress a bit as well.
So to summarize--I want to get busy living! In general I feel like I am living at less than 50% of my full capacity. And I honestly think that if I could get to eating primally, I would feel so much more stable and confident. Which would play into pretty much every aspect of my life and enhance every aspect of my life. So I would be living much closer to the 100%.
Just so I can come back to this later, I want to write down some of my goals and interests: healthcare, cooking, growing herbs, volunteer at animal shelter (no pets at my apartment, which makes me oh so sad), piano, improving my Spanish and picking up a 3rd language, running, yoga, biking, hiking, swimming, travel, meditation, classical music, reading.
So that is a great list to get me started, ha! I find myself getting so overwhelmed at living a full life that I end up doing absolutely nothing. I have trouble with the notion that rather than tackling all things at once, I should choose only a few. I know in my rational mind that this is the way to achieve actual lasting change.
So here is hoping I can love myself enough to make some lasting change!
Welcome. I look forward to regular posts.
Ancestral Health Info - My main blog about Primal and the general ancestral health movement for people who want to take a flexible approach.
Well today was a fairly mediocre day. I got out for a walk after work but didn't eat what I should have eaten. I have plans with my husband and family this weekend, so I am pretty sure what will happen is that I will not start eating primally until Tuesday. So until then I can see myself just eating all manner of crap. That's usually what happens, like it's one last great hurrah! And then I will eat perfectly after that. It's happened a million times before.
As I was driving home today there was the most beautiful fog coming in from the lake by where I live (Great Lake, that is), and it made the boats and bikers and runners on the shore look like they were in a dream world. Very cool! And made me want to spend as much time outside as possible, and travel more. I remember being a kid on vacation in Michigan and the afternoon fog would roll in off the lake, and it was beautiful as today was.
Which brings me to the greatness that is exercising outside. I have a gym membership right now, but I hardly ever go. There is a pool there, though, as well as a really nice weight room. But at the same time I could do body weight exercises at home and swim in the lake during the summers. So that is a dilemma. I could definitely use the money for something else (grass fed beef), so I just don't know what to do about that right now.
These changes I want to make are literally not that difficult. I know that in my rational mind. But my habits are SO bad that I honestly think that changing them will be one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Ugh. I MUST remember that every little step forward is still in the appropriate direction, no matter how small.
My mother in law, who is a lovely and wonderful person, is the person I can see myself becoming. She is totally sedentary and significantly overweight and is starting to see the side effects of this. No major chronic diseases (yet), but her feet are shot and super painful, making it very tough for her to walk around. Yet she continues to drink regular soda and eat processed carbs by the handful. Talk about seriously addicted. And at the same time she has diet books and exercise equipment (unopened) strewn around their house. And I could easily see that be me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because right now I don't believe in my ability to change. That obviously has got to change. And the sooner the better. Positive affirmations in the mirror maybe. Haha.
Mini goals for now: 30 minutes at least of outside exercise (biking, walking, running); 40 pushups daily; no fake sugars; 2 minutes (combined) minutes planks daily.
Go go go! I can do this!!!!! Right? Right!