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Thread: Failure...always an option.

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  1. #1
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    Failure...always an option.

    I have been in around the primal/paleo lifestyle for about 8 months now. When I stumbled upon it, I was amazed at what I found. More food, less me. Brilliant. Yet, here I am continue to struggle mightily. I actually embraced this lifestyle approach on the grounds that it made perfectly good sense. It really had nothing to do with losing weight or vanity. Every other change I have tried has always had the understanding that the only reason I was doing it was to lose weight. This was different. It was somewhat of an awakening.

    The only positive I can say is that in 8 months, I have no gained weight. But I still struggle with so many things. Consistency. Energy. Pizza.

    So damn frustrated and dead on my feet. Did not think I'd be dead by 38. I am so disgusted with the cycle and the process. It has been for more than half my life. I feel like I am drawing dead. My body hurts. The joins in my hips hurt. My body is now starting to rebel to the years of abuse. I am just starting to rebel period.
    Get busy Groking or get busy dying. That's damn right!

  2. #2
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    Never say die. The world conspires against you, making the struggle harder than it should be. Just keep on Grokking on and you will emerge healthier and grokkier than ever.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annieh View Post
    Never say die. The world conspires against you, making the struggle harder than it should be. Just keep on Grokking on and you will emerge healthier and grokkier than ever.
    I agree. I am afraid to entirely give up as I think it just may kill me.
    Get busy Groking or get busy dying. That's damn right!

  4. #4
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    Or evalute why things arent working and try to find a way to improve your quality of life that doesnt involve restricting.

  5. #5
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    Not sure if you're just venting, or if you want advice. You haven't provided enough information for anyone to give you advice. What kinds of foods are you eating? Why does your body hurt? Does it hurt all the time or just in response to physical activity? How did you abuse your body in the past (if you care to share)?

    Anyway, without more info, no one can help you.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by diene View Post
    Not sure if you're just venting, or if you want advice. You haven't provided enough information for anyone to give you advice. What kinds of foods are you eating? Why does your body hurt? Does it hurt all the time or just in response to physical activity? How did you abuse your body in the past (if you care to share)?

    Anyway, without more info, no one can help you.
    This certainly started out as a rant/vent. But it was easy and quick to see that it was plea for help. I think if failure was the end game that I would not have even bothered posting something. I'm frustrated with myself. This has gone on for years.

    When I was committed to the lifestyle, it was a lot of good meats, cheeses, eggs, dairy, dark chocolate. Most of it was organic/clean.

    I am 38 years old. Still teetering around 300lbs. My hips joints hurt. They are tired of carrying the weight. Much of my abuse comes in the form of binges that would make a grown man blush. The other things I suffer with are sleep apnea, HBP, and GERD. All the usual suspects for one who continues to indulge.
    Get busy Groking or get busy dying. That's damn right!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBipper View Post
    When I was committed to the lifestyle, it was a lot of good meats, cheeses, eggs, dairy, dark chocolate. Most of it was organic/clean.
    Can you tell us more about your experience with primal? Based on the list of foods above, it looks like you were pretty low carb when you were sticking to it. How many grams of carbs do you think you were eating when you were committed?

    You're obviously struggling with primal. But how are you struggling? Do you just really crave non-primal foods? Does eating primal trigger binges?

    I'm asking because I struggled with primal as well. When I first went primal, I ate less than 100 g of carbs per day (usually between 80 and 100 g) but didn't restrict calories. Eating less carbs and more fat didn't decrease my appetite so I couldn't lose any weight. So I reduced carbs even more--to less than 30 g per day. I basically went on a cyclic ketogenic diet. I'd eat ketosis-level carbs during the week and kept my calories to 1200-1500 calories. Then I'd carb up on the weekend to fuel my HIIT workout Monday morning. That totally didn't work well for me. The carb ups would turn into binges. Basically, I just realized that eating very local carb makes me want to binge on carbs.

    Not sure if you have a similar problem. But high fat low carb doesn't work for everyone. It works for a lot of people, but not everyone. If you've been at it for 8 months and you've been eating high fat low carb, then it's likely that it doesn't work for you.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by diene View Post
    Can you tell us more about your experience with primal? Based on the list of foods above, it looks like you were pretty low carb when you were sticking to it. How many grams of carbs do you think you were eating when you were committed?

    You're obviously struggling with primal. But how are you struggling? Do you just really crave non-primal foods? Does eating primal trigger binges?

    I'm asking because I struggled with primal as well. When I first went primal, I ate less than 100 g of carbs per day (usually between 80 and 100 g) but didn't restrict calories. Eating less carbs and more fat didn't decrease my appetite so I couldn't lose any weight. So I reduced carbs even more--to less than 30 g per day. I basically went on a cyclic ketogenic diet. I'd eat ketosis-level carbs during the week and kept my calories to 1200-1500 calories. Then I'd carb up on the weekend to fuel my HIIT workout Monday morning. That totally didn't work well for me. The carb ups would turn into binges. Basically, I just realized that eating very local carb makes me want to binge on carbs.

    Not sure if you have a similar problem. But high fat low carb doesn't work for everyone. It works for a lot of people, but not everyone. If you've been at it for 8 months and you've been eating high fat low carb, then it's likely that it doesn't work for you.
    I will attempt to give you a detailed reply from my phone. Please disregard any typos. My experience with primal has been short lived. I will say that I have been educated on the subject for a quite a short time, say 8 months. My actually experience of doing has been shorter.
    I will say that when I was committed that I was probably consuming about 80-100 grams per day. My struggles seem to come from just a weak mind and some temptations in my household.

    I can honestly say that I have not been at it, or committed if you will, for 8 months. Something always derails me or I let it derail me. I keep yo-yoing. 4 great days, 2 bad ones. 5 great days, 1 bad one. 1 great week, 2 bad weeks. Never any consistency. I think this is why I have not gained weight during this time. LOL
    Get busy Groking or get busy dying. That's damn right!

  9. #9
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    Hi BigBipper--
    The on-off thing, huh? Hmm--don't concern yourself with negative thoughts ("weak mind" isn't the problem!). You have some temptations at home, it sounds like--i assume you can't get them outa the house? If not, bummer.

    Ok, maybe this might help: it sounds like you're on track for several days in a row, then fall off the rails. Assuming you are keeping track for what triggers that fall (time of day? kind of sleep the night before? stress at work? boredom?) in the meantime, you might try noting when you begin to feel that temptation coming, and then HAUNT THE HELL out of this forum. Anything to keep you on track. Read others' journals here, even if you don't comment. Cheer them on, even if only in your head. You will not feel alone, you will feel like you're helping others (even if in spirit only at that moment), and you will be reminded that this is a tough go for all but a few grokkers.

    Also, try to make it a "I'm doing this for the next 24 hours" or "next 3 hours" or "next hour" or "next minute"--whatever you need to get past that temptation. Get up and go somewhere (where the temptation isn't there). Give your BODY a treat like a walk or an epsom salt bath with good smelling stuff (yeah, guys do that...!), something that will get you past that feeling. Cheer on when you do 5 days, instead of 4. Aim for short goals...and lengthen them when you get that under control.

    But best thing ever--read the forums (stay away from the ones with the zealots arguing: they raise your cortisol!), comment or not, but you are part of a community. We're all here.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigBipper View Post
    I am 38 years old. Still teetering around 300lbs. My hips joints hurt. They are tired of carrying the weight. Much of my abuse comes in the form of binges that would make a grown man blush. The other things I suffer with are sleep apnea, HBP, and GERD. All the usual suspects for one who continues to indulge.
    I know bingeing. It kept me fat for 25 years. In my case it wasn't really about the food. I mean I did like the stuff I was chowing down on, but the food was a tool, a weapon I was using against myself. I think most bingeing behavior is way more complicated than the composition of what you're putting in your mouth. So don't think of yourself as weak. You're more likely battling some monster you don't quite understand yet. That doesn't mean you can't win - eventually.

    One thing I noticed early on was that when I "gave in" to something "bad", I would just give up and go on autopilot. Try not to think of eating something you think you shouldn't as a failure. If you own it as a choice, then every single bite is an opportunity to make another choice. Then if you make 2, 4, 6, 50 "bad" choices in a row, the very next bite can be something different, or not, you're making the choices you want. Over time (it was over a year for me) I bet you will see a dramatic difference in your choices.

    And I hear you on the hip pain. It was the thought of another 30yrs of that that got me into my head and out of the chip bag.
    50yo, 5'3"
    SW-195
    CW-125, part calorie counting, part transition to primal
    GW- Goals are no longer weight-related

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