Of everything you have said in this thread, these three are the most disturbing:
- I have a traditional doctor.
- My wife has bad habits and is an ice cream addict and that affects how I eat.
- Sometimes I want to walk out to the back shed and hang myself.
You're in bad shape.
However, there is some good news here: You are NOT primal.** You have never been primal. Yup, this is actually GOOD NEWS! If you had truly been primal for 8 months and still hadn't seen improvement, then I'm not sure what would have helped you. I maintain that it takes upwards of 6-8 weeks of strict Primal to even BEGIN to heal, while you're current streak is about 5 days before backsliding. In other words, you've simply been starting over from Square 1, repeatedly. And failing. For eight months straight. No wonder you're depressed. But since you haven't been Primal yet, then Primal hasn't failed you yet either.
I suppose I should give some advice:
- Cut the wheat, NOW. Wheat is poison for almost everybody, and it sounds like you're more susceptible to it than others. The symptoms you describe are CLASSIC signs of wheat inflammation and wheat/sugar addiction, the type of symptoms that Primal diet is famous for helping.
- If you have cravings, eat FAT. Lots and lots of fat. Fatty meats, fatty frozen pork sausage, plain salted butter out of the tub, guacamole, chicken thighs and wings. You'll feel full and a bit crappy, like you never want to eat again. That's the point. You'll be so busy digesting that full feeling that you won't want bread or even sugar. I wouldn't worry about how much fat you eat until AFTER you've kicked the sugar.
- Read the book The End of Overeating by David Kessler. Kessler describes addiction to sweets and bread. Kessler also describes exactly what Owen was talking about: how industrial food is engineered to get you addicted, to keep you hungry, and to actually prevent you from feeling full. The chapter about the food at Chili's is especially disturbing. Those bastards in the food industry are killing people for a profit.
- Look for in-person help. When you're at the gym, ask around to find someone on a low-carb diet, or is Primal/Paleo. IMO, your best bet is to look for a 50-60-year-old guy who's trim but not overly muscled, NOT somebody young. Young bodybuilder SAD guys can get away with bad diets and still look great, and young bodybuilders are arrogant anyway. However, if an older SAD lived on pizza, he might be muscled but he would still have a pudgy tummy. If the older guy is thin in the middle, he's probably low carb. (And an older guy will understand family stress). One thing I've noticed about Primal successes is that they love to help. They want to shout their own success from the rooftops and share that success and make others successful too. A Primal won't tell you to "stop being a pig and just lost the weight." A Primal will understand. And that Primal mentor will likely check up on you on the gym, ask how you're doing, and rejoice in your success. It's human nature: when someone helps you to succeed, he can claim part of that success.
- Get your family involved. Does your wife even KNOW about your thoughts about going out to the back shed? And that her ice cream is contributing to that? This is a serious life/death/sickness/health issue! If your family doesn't want to be Primal, they should at least try to keep you on track. This sounds like a family project. "Daddy is sick and we need to help him get better, because we want him to be our Daddy for a long time."
- Get a full blood panel from your doctor, and then find another doctor (if you have the insurance). Again, maybe some at the gym will know of a more open-minded doctor.
Good luck, and keep posting here with progress!
**NOTE: There are some posters on the forum who will try to tell you that "Well, it's obvious that you tried Primal and it doesn't work for you. Therefore, you need to eat lots of carbs, as long as they are whole and unprocessed carbs." This is not true. You don't know yet if Primal will work for you. You're haven't really been primal yet!