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Thread: Has anyone been in an open relationship? page 3

  1. #21
    keithpowers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    I'd think that it would be easier to have an open relationship with someone bisexual as it seems like it would yield less jealousy. I mean, if a woman wants a woman on occasion, the guy isn't going to cut it and probably isn't going to feel inferior.
    Generally speaking, yes. I'm not opposed to her having other guys on the side, but she insists she has the one she wants (LOL - talk about low standards!) so she's sticking to women for other relationships.
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  2. #22
    Betorq's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by keithpowers View Post
    Currently in an open marriage. It's not quite the "rolling orgy" of my college years, but we were both in poly relationships before we met, so when we got married, it made more sense to continue than try to shoehorn ourselves into monotonogamy.
    Married for 6 years now... occasional girlfriends on both sides.
    Monotonomgy, ha I love that! Never heard that term before! Keith, you've a fair amount of diverse poly experience, over time. Thanks for sharing.

    Bi-, gay, or hetero, I still contend jealousy can crop up anywhere, from anyone, in the oddest of times. I don't consider myself the jealous-type, quite the opposite.

    Post-university, since my mid 20s, I always took it as a compliment when someone flirted with or propositioned one of my mates. I just figured it meant I had excellent taste in women, & they had excellent taste in choosing to be with me! I don't/can't "own" a gf or a mate not even a wife. Nobody can own me. Jealousy comes from a mistaken sense of ownership, imo. MY gf, MY wife, mine mine mine.
    "Science is not belief but the will to find out." ~ Anonymous
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  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by moluv View Post
    YogaBare, it seems to me polyamory would require an even higher level of commitment due to the dedication to constant communication it requires and the delicacy of people's emotions when jealousy or exclusion feelings arise.
    I think this is accurate. Poly might be useful for certain situations and times, but in the end it sounds a little exhausting.

  4. #24
    Betorq's Avatar
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    Doesn't have to be constant communication nor exhausting. Most people I know doing it find it to be energizing, fun & more love. Polyamory means literally "many loves" or "more love". Honest communication is needed, not constant, in my experience & viewing others who do it well & for many years as a lifestyle.
    "Science is not belief but the will to find out." ~ Anonymous
    "Culture of the mind must be subservient to the heart." ~ Gandhi
    "The flogging will continue until morale improves." ~ Unknown


  5. #25
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    I don't have time to read all the posts- but read The Ethical Slut. (Actually, there's stuff in that book that could be useful for any style of romantic relationship)

    The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures: Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy: 9781587613371: Amazon.com: Books
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  6. #26
    YogaBare's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moluv View Post
    YogaBare, it seems to me polyamory would require an even higher level of commitment due to the dedication to constant communication it requires and the delicacy of people's emotions when jealousy or exclusion feelings arise.
    But in this, the commitment is to yourself. You are committing to being completely honest and transparent, sensitive to another person's feelings, and to challenging yourself. There's also a sense of giving up control. Idk, but those are all qualities that I want to develop further, and to know myself better. I find the whole idea really liberating.

    Sure it would be extremely challenging... but aren't relationships like that anyway?
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

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  7. #27
    Legbiter's Avatar
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    Polyamory in practice on a societal level would not be a happy utopia of free love where all the men and all the women got their rocks off whenever and however they wished, like, bonobos or something similar.

    It would be very much darker, a few high value men hoarding all the pussy with the rest clawing and scratching for rode-worn scraps.

  8. #28
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    Why? That's like an aggression/dominance model- plenty of women won't like those men. It only plays out like that in animals where the men can just abuse the women; even if man were among such an animal, plenty of rival men will defend the woman for their own mating interests.

    Plus most of the men have sisters?
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  9. #29
    Legbiter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    Why? That's like an aggression/dominance model- plenty of women won't like those men. It only plays out like that in animals where the men can just abuse the women; even if man were among such an animal, plenty of rival men will defend the woman for their own mating interests.

    Plus most of the men have sisters?
    You're trying to teach birds how to fly. That's as far as I'll go on this.

    Polyamory is a contrived hookup service for ugly US boomers.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Legbiter View Post
    Polyamory in practice on a societal level would not be a happy utopia of free love where all the men and all the women got their rocks off whenever and however they wished, like, bonobos or something similar.

    It would be very much darker, a few high value men hoarding all the pussy with the rest clawing and scratching for rode-worn scraps.
    Quote Originally Posted by Legbiter View Post
    You're trying to teach birds how to fly. That's as far as I'll go on this.

    Polyamory is a contrived hookup service for ugly US boomers.
    Your posts scare me
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

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