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Thread: Weekends are killing my attempts at progress! page 2

  1. #11
    magnolia1973's Avatar
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    No one is forcing you to eat crap.

    My best advice to you is to make sure you are enjoying the hell out of your primal food. My SO likes bread. So he has salmon, toast and veggies. I have a big ass steak and veggies. I like my steak and don't want the bread, but if I ate the salmon (which I don't like), I'd get pouty and want a treat.

    I'd also recommend not drinking the wine and not tasting the tiramisu for a while.

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  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    The husband that brings home donuts to a wife trying to lose 30 pounds may be insecure and wondering if the wife will seek a new mate once she's thin. A more sinister motive would be to keep her "down" or trapped since the culture values thin over plump, and her fat keeps her from seeking a different mate.

    Needless to say, I have issues regarding loved ones derailing my attempts at weight loss and/or health.
    The man who brings home donuts because he likes them is called a man. Perhaps he thinks his wife is actually an adult who can make her own decisions and might decide that since she is trying to lose 30 pounds she shouldn't eat crap. Needless to say, I have issues with those who think women are simple-minded or too childish to resisit eating something just because it is there.



    TIL...donuts are the Mt. Everest of snack food.

    Edit: upon review my response may be a touch terse, but as the OP said her husband is not forcing anything on her or pressuring her. How about a little responsibility for our own well-being?
    Last edited by canio6; 08-12-2013 at 08:42 AM.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

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  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    The man who brings home donuts because he likes them is called a man. Perhaps he thinks his wife is actually an adult who can make her own decisions and might decide that since she is trying to lose 30 pounds she shouldn't eat crap. Needless to say, I have issues with those who think women are simple-minded or too childish to resisit eating something just because it is there.



    TIL...donuts are the Mt. Everest of snack food.
    What's gender got to do with this? A woman who brings home donuts and places them in front of her husband would be as bad.

    Some donuts are fantastic tasting, and some are nasty. There's a big difference in taste, but none in healthfulness.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by eKatherine View Post
    What's gender got to do with this? A woman who brings home donuts and places them in front of her husband would be as bad.

    Some donuts are fantastic tasting, and some are nasty. There's a big difference in taste, but none in healthfulness.
    The person I responded to said 'wife' and wives are generally women. As such, I was referring to the gender specified in her post. You are correct that if it were a wife bringing them home then the man would be just as responsible for his own choices.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    The person I responded to said 'wife' and wives are generally women. As such, I was referring to the gender specified in her post. You are correct that if it were a wife bringing them home then the man would be just as responsible for his own choices.
    How very passive-aggressive of you.

  6. #16
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    Oh please, it is not our spouses job to not lead us into food temptation. Good lord, my fridge is full of beer and it has exactly nothing to do with my husband wanting to fatten me up. There are worse things in life than a spouse with a different idea of what to eat. Seriously, somewhere on some vegan BB I'm sure I would be demonized for making bacon in front of my now exvegetarian husband.

    Bottom line, there will always be food to tempt you. Most of the time, that food is there because someone you work with, live with or are friends with either enjoys that food, thinks everyone else might enjoy that food, is proud that they made that food or is trying to clean out the fridge. In the case of a man bringing around junk food, I'm almost 100% certain that their thought process was "mmm...doughnuts, I must buy some" and not "hmmm, wife is looking trim and I'm threatened so let me swing by Krispy Kreme and tonight suggest Cheesecake Factory".

    Not everyone's priority is healthful eating. If it is your priority awesome, but be prepared to learn how to be in control around junk food. It takes some time and practice, but eventually, you won't give a shit about your husband's donuts and the food at Cheesecake Factory will taste like shit. You just can't pray that no one ever has any tempting food sitting around. Well, I pray that people have bacon sitting around. Why the hell does no one ever bring in bacon?

    Guys are simple, and really, why not treat your husband to primal goodies to thank him for working hard and being awesome? I'm going to bet that he would rather spend an evening in with a big steak grilled up by his hot wife and wake up to bacon and eggs in the morning than go to Cheesecake Factory and eat donuts. And he never even has to realize it's a diet.

    I dunno.... I just feel like if you want to spoil him, grilling the two of you a steak then slipping into something sexy trumps trotting out to a dinner out. I'm sure the men of MDA will chime in with their preferences.

    http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
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  7. #17
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    I have also been in your situation, where Hubby would bring home doughnuts, ice-cream or whatever and I am sunk, and not because he is slim, just not trying Just saying no, with hormone considerations if you are a sugarholic like me can be virtually impossible at times, particularly when you are just really starting on a diet or new way of eating. You need every strategy you can find to help you get through these times. I would sit him down and talk to him about either not having it in the house or having a spot that is well out of sight and preferably not eating it in front of you. You may only need him to do that when you are in the beginning as your willpower after not having sugared things increases pretty quickly. I am sure he understands, given he has a love of the sweet stuff.... just not the consequences.
    Starting Primal June 2012 at 148.5lbs, goal weight in November 2012.
    Now 95lbs and holding.
    Primal, minus eggs, dairy and a myriad of other allergens.

  8. #18
    canio6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eKatherine View Post
    How very passive-aggressive of you.
    Thanks.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    The man who brings home donuts because he likes them is called a man. Perhaps he thinks his wife is actually an adult who can make her own decisions and might decide that since she is trying to lose 30 pounds she shouldn't eat crap. Needless to say, I have issues with those who think women are simple-minded or too childish to resisit eating something just because it is there.



    TIL...donuts are the Mt. Everest of snack food.

    Edit: upon review my response may be a touch terse, but as the OP said her husband is not forcing anything on her or pressuring her. How about a little responsibility for our own well-being?
    Not to worry about terse. I guess I figure that spouses are partners. If one needs support, the other should be there. I often go back to the chemical addiction thing. Would someone married to an alcoholic be a good spouse if they kept alcohol in the house and drank (with yummy noises of course) in front of the alcoholic?

    Yes, we do have total responsibility for our own well-being, but I'm not about to tell a total stranger on a forum to ditch the donut eater.

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Oh please, it is not our spouses job to not lead us into food temptation.
    Why? Aren't the overwhelming messages as we watch tv or drive restaurant lined streets temptation enough? Do our homes have to be battle grounds for us also? The OP is struggling. Of all the people on the planet from whom she should be able to get support, shouldn't her husband be her number one cheerleader? It's not like he can't eat donuts away from home.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

  10. #20
    magnolia1973's Avatar
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    Why?
    Because it is OUR body and in the end, we are the ones in charge of what we put in our mouth. Expecting someone to not eat in front of you or have foods they like is just ridiculous and unfair. If your husband becomes a vegan for his health, will you stop buying bacon to "support" him? Or will you keep on keeping on? I think it is straight up self centered to suggest that someone modify their lifestyle because of your weakness.

    But nope, I think it's fine if your spouse wants to eat crap in front of you. Now, yeah, he should not be an asshole about it and make fun of you, but it sounds like he is a typical clueless dude that eats junk.

    Honestly, the OP will get to a point where food is not a battleground if she wants to. But that is all about your internal strength and fortitude. We can not ever control our environments so must learn to control ourselves. And learning to control yourself is MUCH, much easier than controlling everyone around you, and much more fair.

    Now do I fucking hate that there is ice cream in my freezer? Yeah. Do I fucking hate watching my husband eat a potato when I'm low carbing it? Yep. That's life. He likes his ice cream and carbs with each and every meal. But I like losing weight and feeling amazing just a scootch more than carbs and ice cream. You have to get to that point. Have I ended up eating a pint of his ice cream? Yup. Will I do so in the future? Probably. ANd that is 100% my fault.

    So no, I don't think your spouse should have to change his or her eating habits to accomodate you.

    http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
    Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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