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Thread: Does anyone else feel like they don't fit in anywhere? page 4

  1. #31
    jammies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SophieScreams View Post
    Very timely rant/post. I'm seeing that I need some new friends, and my family is better left at arm's distance. It's pretty isolating being a non-mother at 33, as most of my HS friends have tons of kids, some of them teens now. And every new woman I meet is busy mothering or nesting. Or she's partying her ass off because she's 22 years old. So, I'm not "adult" enough for the moms, and too "old" for the non-moms.

    I don't really have any advice, just wanted you to know that you're not alone.
    They say that she who has even one close friend is richer than she with a thousand casual acquaintances.
    I get in to this bind too. The vast majority of my good friends now have children. ONe or two don't but they live in other states now. I don't have kids, although I worked as a nanny for several years and did massive amounts of child care for my family, so I get a tiny bit of credibility with the parents.

    I spent most of my 20s-30s very ill, so now i'm healthy(er) and feel like kicking it up and living a little, but it feels ridiculous to do that at 39!!
    Using low lectin/nightshade free primal to control autoimmune arthritis. (And lost 50 lbs along the way )

    http://www.krispin.com/lectin.html

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by jammies View Post
    I spent most of my 20s-30s very ill, so now i'm healthy(er) and feel like kicking it up and living a little, but it feels ridiculous to do that at 39!!
    That's just in your head, age is just a number, as you should know being fitter now than you were before, and to paraphrase an old saying, "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you'll prove yourself right"!

    How old would you feel if you didn't happen to know the number in years?

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    I am going through something similar- not quite social-relations related, but, this part . I haven't found my niche in life yet, so it feels like I'm aimlessly living."

    I call it a "yet-life crisis."

    I don't have kids though.

    I have a lot of "friends" in a sense that others define the term, but I find them to be mostly tedious, because they are not my equals in most dimensions that I consider important. So it's kind of like having a lot of little brothers and sisters.
    Same here. My job this, money that, this product, that product, and they're so indoctrinated that they can't even focus on everything else that is going on outside their "lives". I tried to tell a friend that, and they ended up lashing out and denying it while contradicting themselves at every turn. It was funny, yet really sad at the same time. The only thing I even asked was "do you really think you need this?" and "are you really happy working your entire life to buy these things you can't even justify buying?"
    Time is passing so quickly. Right now, I feel like complaining to Einstein. Whether time is slow or fast depends on perception. Relativity theory is so romantic. And so sad.

  4. #34
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    I spent most of my twenties feeling like I just didn't fit in anywhere... I think we all do at some stage. I think it's a problem that comes with our modern lives. In lucid moments I really think I'd like living in a commune or something. To me it's the closest to tribal life. Back in the tribal days we had a sense of community and togetherness and feeling like an important cog in the wheel. These days our social groups are shattered and spread all over the globe. I love the choices I have, but we pay a steep price don't we?

  5. #35
    Lady D's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aingealag View Post
    Back in the tribal days we had a sense of community and togetherness and feeling like an important cog in the wheel.
    The price for that was lack of freedom in almost every area... it's probably non-primal to an extreme, but I prefer the relative freedoms and anonymity of modern big-city life, not having everyone know everything about me and then having an opinion on it, and all that small-town gossipy judgemental BS.

    It's still possible to feel important, if you do something with your life that makes you feel good, but you're not dragged down so much by the weaknesses of the others in your tibe, nor expected to "know your place" or anything.

    JMO.

  6. #36
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    Hi there. I too am from Saskatchewan, although I could be your Mom

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady D View Post
    The price for that was lack of freedom in almost every area... it's probably non-primal to an extreme, but I prefer the relative freedoms and anonymity of modern big-city life, not having everyone know everything about me and then having an opinion on it, and all that small-town gossipy judgemental BS.

    It's still possible to feel important, if you do something with your life that makes you feel good, but you're not dragged down so much by the weaknesses of the others in your tibe, nor expected to "know your place" or anything.

    JMO.
    You just need to find a tribe of people who aren't judgmental and full of BS and who wouldn't think that anyone needs to "know their place."

  8. #38
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    Doesn't exist. Human nature precludes co-existence without division trends. Hence, expressions like 'terrarium of soul mates' in art, rivalries and back-stabbing in science, cheating and hatred in athletic teams, shooting in the back in the army, school cliques... all the way down to wars over whatever. Anywhere humans congregate, they exclude, it doesn't matter if it male only, female only or mixed groups. Fora development is one of the perfect examples, for flame wars sprout up on every topic imaginable and fracturation into groups. Part of being in the community is alternating between acceptance by one of the groups within it, to being a misfit to being actively ostracized.

    Creating one's own world is more productive than searching for an external world to fit in.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  9. #39
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    Blah. I hear you - except, I'm 15. I just feel so distanced from everyone, like I can't connect to them: we're talking, and I'm not hearing anything.

    It's hard. I used to be so...content? And as I progress through my teens, I lose a little bit of optimism every day. Though I suppose that's just teen angst or whatever.

    Today is one of those "what's the point in anything, i'd rather be dead' kinda days.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by jammies View Post
    I spent most of my 20s-30s very ill, so now i'm healthy(er) and feel like kicking it up and living a little, but it feels ridiculous to do that at 39!!
    In ten years you'll book at 39 as young. I'm 45. And it's only in the last year that I feel like I'm started on the path toward the person I want to be. The way I see it, the up-to-this-point me was created by my parents, my upbringing, environment, etc...Now I'm trying to make a me that's created by me. Hope that doesn't sound like gibberish.

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