I definitely have to move to alternating grip when I get heavy. Hook grip used to destroy my thumbs, but I've gotten much better at it; I use it for the general lifts you would use it for, deadlift/clean/snatch.... I also have the TINIEST HANDS on the planet. So I know how OP feels. That being said, I'm also no where near the female equivalent of what he's pulling, but yeah... farmers walks, working on the hook grip, etc. I have used both the standard men's bar and women's bar and my hook grip isn't TOO affected either way.
Also Cayla, ditch the gloves. :-) The callus sucks, but you can get a great pumice stone from Walgreens and keep them much softer. Fitbomb has a great article on hand care if you'd like to google it.
~All luck is earned in the end.~