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  1. #31
    AMonkey's Avatar
    AMonkey is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lynelle135 View Post
    My male friend confirmed that it's routine for guys to wait until three days after getting the phone number to actually call the girl.

    Last week I went into an Old Navy store that I don't normally frequent. The manager was gorgeous. I wanted to speak to him. But instead, I internally self-talked my way out of it (e.g. He won't be interested in me because I'm older, etc.) Today, I'm kicking myself and here comes the self dialogue. Should I go out of my way to visit that particular Old Navy again? Could-a, should-a, would-a. All this angst could have been avoided had I behaved in a more primal manner. You see, you like, you pursue. Even if he'd flat-out rejected me, I wouldn't have doubts lingering for days.
    Lynelle
    Your male friend is dumb, or at least males who wait 3 days are dumb. As for you, go for it, what have you got to lose? Good luck.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheyCallMeLazarus View Post
    Concerning the rule over no makeup....

    You have to understand that it is usually pretty far into a relationship before they have ever come to my home. I live in the absolute middle of nowhere, even for VT, and the last 8 miles to my home aren't paved. It is off-grid power, on-site well, root cellars, animals, etc. I always prepare anyone by saying "coming to my house is like going on a camping trip, with farm animals around."

    Next, most of the women I actually enjoy the company of (rather than just the looks of!) are often the "makeup if I have to" type. I don't plan it that way, but it's almost always the case by chance of who I am attracted to. My current girlfriend and I met at a Tough Mudder, where she got my attention by repeatedly running through the electrified part over and over (this let me know she was also crazy, so we'd have something in common right off the bat. Ahahaha) She once told me that she had worn makeup twice in the last year, outside of eyeliner, even though she is a professional. She said with all sassiness that it was so the other women would have a chance. Bingo. My type

    So most of the time it's not much of an ultimatum....I say "If you are going to see the hunting lodge on steroids that is my home, you can't show up in a dress and decked out"
    OK, so not that creepy. Context is everything in human relations.
    50yo, 5'3"
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  3. #33
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    magnolia1973 is offline Senior Member
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    My neighbor had so many dating games it wasn't even funny. She had fake profiles to check guys out, she always had a fuck buddy so she could wait on sex, it was mind boggling. She always wanted to appear unavailable and uninterested. She seemed to attract the arrogant asshole types who were equally insincere.

    If you like someone, just be upfront about it.

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  4. #34
    Mr.Perfidy's Avatar
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    It maybe made sense before the internet, but now girls can also google stupid pick-up bullshit strategy, and will just think, "dickhead gamer neophyte." You are supposed to think one level ahead of your opponent.
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  5. #35
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    That's just good advice. You don't want to scare off a beautiful baby who's ready to party.
    (what a classic!!)

  6. #36
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    Love that line from Swingers! This whole topic reminds me of the movie, The Tao of Steve. The 3 philosophies of Being Steve:

    1. Be desireless.
    2. Be excellent in her presence.
    3. Retreat.

    Classic!

  7. #37
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    I have been with my wife for twenty years now, but I can still remember the first day we met. I went for her like a heat seeking missile no games. I don't think I could have played a game if I tried. She treated me to the same. There is a trust and true understanding of the other person that gets built with open honesty that can you through the absolute worst times in the world and make some seemingly mundane times the best ever.

  8. #38
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    TheyCallMeLazarus is offline Senior Member
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    @ Magnolia

    I appreciated your post....I have seen it all before myself. That is what a LOT of women my age do.

    I try to make it clear that homey don't play that game (sorry if the reference misses). I expect to be replied to when I call or text, or at least once work is done. I expect to not get the run-around if I want a date night setup. I expect for them to NOT be texting away when I am taking them out....I do this all and then some.

    I don't do the "I'm busy Miss Important-Pants, so it's ok if I am as reliable as a drunk showing up at the early Church service." I run a business, am on call 3 days a week, and run a homestead. Make time. Prioritize. They waffle = you walk. Easy

    My girlfriend is as dependable as they come and our lives are never too important for each other. That is a very underrated thing.

  9. #39
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    OP, if you think they are thin and healthy in California you should see Colorado. The Primal Blueprint is all about getting everyone to live the Malibu Barbie dream life, didn't you know?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheyCallMeLazarus View Post
    I have a very boring protocol for dating. Here's it is:

    1) Make my intentions clear and confirm she isn't spoken for in the first minute of talking to her. You say "Hey, my name is Laz. I saw you from over there and you are gorgeous. I want to take you out sometime to see if we'd have any chemistry or whatever it's called. Are you spoken for?" I know this is aggressive, but it's honest, and women appreciate that if they are my kind anyway. If they don't, we wouldn't get along. Saves time.

    2) Never give out my own number first, and tell her when I will be calling. I usually pick the following day, and I am very specific. "Awesome. I will call you tomorrow evening around 7. If you don't hear from me I am either in a hospital or incarcerated."

    3) Make it clear that if at any point she isn't feeling it, to just tell me and I will never bother her again....it's hard to be aggressive AND non-threatening. This is the only no BS way I know.

    4) First time you come to my place, if it gets that far, no makeup is allowed.

    Overall though I think women have this crazy idea that men don't like assertiveness on their part...that is just plain garbage, copout stuff. It is sexy and very effective
    Quote Originally Posted by TheyCallMeLazarus View Post
    I am a well-dressed, clean-shaven physician
    I find your protocol refreshing, especially after 15 years living with a passive-aggressive man. And you are a doctor with a rural homestead full of hunting rifles. I presume there is some elk in the freezer. Once you grow the big man-beard will you give me a call?
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Current squat: 180 x 2. Current Deadlift: 230 x 2

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheyCallMeLazarus View Post
    I have a very boring protocol for dating. Here's it is:

    1) Make my intentions clear and confirm she isn't spoken for in the first minute of talking to her. You say "Hey, my name is Laz. I saw you from over there and you are gorgeous. I want to take you out sometime to see if we'd have any chemistry or whatever it's called. Are you spoken for?" I know this is aggressive, but it's honest, and women appreciate that if they are my kind anyway. If they don't, we wouldn't get along. Saves time.
    What's also good is it shows the kind of confidence that means you're less likely to be a needy jerky guy underneath - it's kind of signalling she can turn you down without it being a make-or-break thing for you, which women know can, on occasion, be dangerous for us and/or the bloke involved.

    You've given her an out that she can use, and indicated you'll accept it, which is solid gold since it's aggressive, yes, but also respectful of her right to choose, which is 100% the way most males act in the animal kindgom.

    So 10/10 mate!

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